How To Handle Infidelity In A Marriage
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Brenda Shoshanna
Mar 25, 2013, 10:50:02 PM3/25/13
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Please consider this free-reprint article written by:
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Article Title: How To Handle Infidelity In A Marriage
Author: Brenda Shoshanna
Word Count: 827
Article URL: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=202057&ca=Marriage
Format: 64cpl
Contact The Author: http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=202057
Easy Publish Tool: http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=202057
*********************** ARTICLE START ***********************
Infidelity and the threat of it, is the largest single issue that threatens marriages. A basis of all healthy marriage is the ability to trust. It is not only the sexual betrayal but the lies that accompany infidelity that are so devastating. This break of trust need not be fatal; if both parties truly wish to do so it can be repaired. It takes time, patience, wisdom and true dedication for this process to work.
First, it is absolutely necessary to acknowledge what has happened. No step forward can be taken without honesty. The individual who has strayed must be clear about what has gone on. This does not mean they are to be punished or blamed, but must be accountable, taking responsibility for their actions.
Next it is crucial to find out the deeper reasons in the relationship that caused this to take place. What has been lacking? Have there been hidden resentments? What does the marriage need, right now? If both individuals are willing to confront the issues, to open communication, be honest, respectful and patient, then the marriage can emerge even stronger than before.
Emotional Infidelity
The question of infidelity has become much broader as individuals have obtained easier access to others through the internet. Many often satisfy their wish for other relationships or for fantasy and adventure through activities online. When we do not see or have to interact with another in person, there is comfortable distance, which leads one to believe that nothing is going on. Individuals often feel they can easily exchange intimacies. Demands made upon one another and can be handled easily through a few words. This stimulates a hotbed of fantasy and it becomes easy to feel one has someone in their life who cares and is there for them. Before they know it, excitement, attachment or dependency arises, and interferes with feelings towards the spouse.
This is a dangerous arena to go into. To protect the well-being of your marriage, stay away from it. Realize that online relationships, or other relationships where you feelings and fantasies become stirred up are a temptation to enter into fantasy. Inevitably, they make your primary relationship at home seem less important to you. There is a thin line here and it is crossed easily. Define and set boundaries for your emotions and needs. If there is a reason why they are not being fulfilled at home, talk it out as soon as possible, create quality time together, explore new ways of enjoying each other and breaking a possibly deadening routine.
Addictions crop up in marriages and are often hidden from a spouse. The addiction to porn is one of them, and closely allied to infidelity. When spouses find out they are often devastated by it. Many wives feel utterly betrayed, threatened and as though they have not been good enough and are not attractive to their husbands. Often they discover the addiction because their husband�s sexual desire for them has decreased.
Addictions can be much harder to break than one first realizes. Usually it requires professional help.
The addict must not make light of the situation, but fully realize that he/she is caught in the grip of an illness and needs professional help. These addictions can provide all kinds of highs and excitement that a real flesh and blood relationship may not able to offer. For some men, after being addicted to online porn it is boring or difficult to have that much sexual interest in their wives any longer. Awareness must be brought to this situation. Even though the man minimizes it, the woman must hold onto her own reality and need for respect. She must not deny the way you she is feeling, but see to it that professional help is sought.
It is always better to do this sooner than later. The longer an addiction grows the harder it can be to let go of. It is important to recognize these threats to your marriage for what they are, not blame yourself for them or brush them under the table, but to face the issues directly in a constructive and hopeful way. Let your partner know that together you can find a solution that works for both of you. Blaming the self or blaming the other is never helpful and leads nowhere.
Acceptance, communication and understanding, however, always go a long way. Needless to say, both must be willing to work on this together. If the partner is not willing to deal with it, then the woman should seek help for herself in making constructive choices for her own life.
All marriages go through challenges. Whether these challenges destroy your relationship or make it stronger, is up to both of you. It takes two to make this commitment, however. One person cannot do it alone.
About The Author: Learn incredible techniques to resolve difficulties easily, and create a blueprint for supportive, constructive relationships by a leading psychologist, best selling author, and relationship, family and divorce mediator at http://www.Therapist-in-nyc.com
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=202057
*********************** ARTICLE END ***********************
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- For more free-reprint articles go to http://www.isnare.com
Message delivered directly to members of the group:
publish-the...@googlegroups.com
*****************************************************************
Please consider this free-reprint article written by:
Brenda Shoshanna
*****************************
IMPORTANT - Publication/Reprint Terms
- You have permission to publish this article electronically in free-only publications such as a website or an ezine as long as the bylines are included.
- You are not allowed to use this article for commercial purposes. The article should only be reprinted in a publicly accessible website and not in a members-only commercial site.
- You are not allowed to post/reprint this article in any sites/publications that contains or supports hate, violence, porn and warez or any indecent and illegal sites/publications.
- You are not allowed to use this article in UCE (Unsolicited Commercial Email) or SPAM. This article MUST be distributed in an opt-in email list only.
- If you distribute this article in an ezine or newsletter, we ask that you send a copy of the newsletter or ezine that contains the article to http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=202057
- If you post this article in a website/forum/blog, ALL links MUST be set to hyperlinks and we ask that you send a copy of the URL where the article is posted to http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=202057
- We request that you ask permission from the author if you want to publish this article in print.
The role of iSnare.com is only to distribute this article as part of its Article Distribution feature ( http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php ). iSnare.com does NOT own this article, please respect the author's copyright and this publication/reprint terms. If you do not agree to any of these terms, please do not reprint or publish this article.
*****************************
Article Title: How To Handle Infidelity In A Marriage
Author: Brenda Shoshanna
Word Count: 827
Article URL: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=202057&ca=Marriage
Format: 64cpl
Contact The Author: http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=202057
Easy Publish Tool: http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=202057
*********************** ARTICLE START ***********************
Infidelity and the threat of it, is the largest single issue that threatens marriages. A basis of all healthy marriage is the ability to trust. It is not only the sexual betrayal but the lies that accompany infidelity that are so devastating. This break of trust need not be fatal; if both parties truly wish to do so it can be repaired. It takes time, patience, wisdom and true dedication for this process to work.
First, it is absolutely necessary to acknowledge what has happened. No step forward can be taken without honesty. The individual who has strayed must be clear about what has gone on. This does not mean they are to be punished or blamed, but must be accountable, taking responsibility for their actions.
Next it is crucial to find out the deeper reasons in the relationship that caused this to take place. What has been lacking? Have there been hidden resentments? What does the marriage need, right now? If both individuals are willing to confront the issues, to open communication, be honest, respectful and patient, then the marriage can emerge even stronger than before.
Emotional Infidelity
The question of infidelity has become much broader as individuals have obtained easier access to others through the internet. Many often satisfy their wish for other relationships or for fantasy and adventure through activities online. When we do not see or have to interact with another in person, there is comfortable distance, which leads one to believe that nothing is going on. Individuals often feel they can easily exchange intimacies. Demands made upon one another and can be handled easily through a few words. This stimulates a hotbed of fantasy and it becomes easy to feel one has someone in their life who cares and is there for them. Before they know it, excitement, attachment or dependency arises, and interferes with feelings towards the spouse.
This is a dangerous arena to go into. To protect the well-being of your marriage, stay away from it. Realize that online relationships, or other relationships where you feelings and fantasies become stirred up are a temptation to enter into fantasy. Inevitably, they make your primary relationship at home seem less important to you. There is a thin line here and it is crossed easily. Define and set boundaries for your emotions and needs. If there is a reason why they are not being fulfilled at home, talk it out as soon as possible, create quality time together, explore new ways of enjoying each other and breaking a possibly deadening routine.
Addictions crop up in marriages and are often hidden from a spouse. The addiction to porn is one of them, and closely allied to infidelity. When spouses find out they are often devastated by it. Many wives feel utterly betrayed, threatened and as though they have not been good enough and are not attractive to their husbands. Often they discover the addiction because their husband�s sexual desire for them has decreased.
Addictions can be much harder to break than one first realizes. Usually it requires professional help.
The addict must not make light of the situation, but fully realize that he/she is caught in the grip of an illness and needs professional help. These addictions can provide all kinds of highs and excitement that a real flesh and blood relationship may not able to offer. For some men, after being addicted to online porn it is boring or difficult to have that much sexual interest in their wives any longer. Awareness must be brought to this situation. Even though the man minimizes it, the woman must hold onto her own reality and need for respect. She must not deny the way you she is feeling, but see to it that professional help is sought.
It is always better to do this sooner than later. The longer an addiction grows the harder it can be to let go of. It is important to recognize these threats to your marriage for what they are, not blame yourself for them or brush them under the table, but to face the issues directly in a constructive and hopeful way. Let your partner know that together you can find a solution that works for both of you. Blaming the self or blaming the other is never helpful and leads nowhere.
Acceptance, communication and understanding, however, always go a long way. Needless to say, both must be willing to work on this together. If the partner is not willing to deal with it, then the woman should seek help for herself in making constructive choices for her own life.
All marriages go through challenges. Whether these challenges destroy your relationship or make it stronger, is up to both of you. It takes two to make this commitment, however. One person cannot do it alone.
About The Author: Learn incredible techniques to resolve difficulties easily, and create a blueprint for supportive, constructive relationships by a leading psychologist, best selling author, and relationship, family and divorce mediator at http://www.Therapist-in-nyc.com
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=202057
*********************** ARTICLE END ***********************
- To distribute your articles go to http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php
- For more free-reprint articles go to http://www.isnare.com
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