How Being a Stay at Home Parent Can Affect Your Marriage
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David Beart
May 19, 2013, 2:48:03 AM5/19/13
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Please consider this free-reprint article written by:
David Beart
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Article Title: How Being a Stay at Home Parent Can Affect Your Marriage
Author: David Beart
Word Count: 829
Article URL: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=1840374&ca=Parenting
Format: 64cpl
Contact The Author: http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=1840374
Easy Publish Tool: http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=1840374
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You got married. You bought the perfect house in the nicest subdivision you could afford. You got your first brand new car, finished paying off your college loans, and got accustomed to eating dinner with your spouse wearing sweatpants and t-shirts. Then, taking things to the next � expected phase of life, you had a child. Or two, or three.
And then suddenly, you and your spouse realized that leaving your child with a day care center or sending them to preschool when they couldn�t even walk yet, caused you to feel a tremendous amount of fear. Next thing you know, you are giving up the career you spend the first half of your life building. You are trading in the sports car for a bottom of the line mini-van and wearing clothes that have been out of fashion for a few years. Yes, you have decided to have the one income, stay at home parent household that makes up approximately 46% of all households in the United States.
Years ago, one income, one stay at home parent households were the norm. The biggest difference today is that men are joining the ranks of stay at home parents. What many married people do not realize is that this living arrangement can be extremely hard on the marriage. Not at first of course. But in the long run, having just one working parent can cause a tremendous amount of financial and emotional pressure on the couple, with both partners feeling resentful of the other for one thing or another.
According to statistics, being a stay at home parent actually increases your chance of divorce in the first 11 years of marriage. However, most people in a single working family where one parent stays home with the kids aren�t able to divorce as soon as they realize the marriage is over, because of the financial situation. And many stay unhappy for a long period of time.
Often, the parent who stays home feels trapped in the marriage. They lose their financial autonomy and can be likened to the status of a child. This parent, who normally does all the shopping and takes care of things around the house can feel undermined and lose their sense of self � whether they are man or woman. And since they seem to spend the bulk of the money paying bills, and buying groceries � the working parent often resents them for �spending the money,� even if it is evident that it�s not on themselves. Plus the stay at home parent can feel isolated, while their partner is out earning a living and socializing with adults in the workplace.
Additionally, the stay at home parent may resent becoming the �do all maid� for everyone in the home. Sure, it�s easier for the parent who stays home to tend to the house and all the things that implies. However, eventually the other parent may start taking advantage of the situation or taking it for granted. And this too causes resentment. For one thing, if the stay at home parent voices their opinion about feeling like the maid in the house � they risk sounding unhappy with the situation. And so most say nothing.
The bottom line is that choosing to be a stay at home parent can have consequences on the marriage. Even if both people agree that the kids need a parent to be at home, the long term ramifications can get out of hand if a couple doesn�t feel comfortable communicating about the challenges. Additionally, in order for this type of relationship to work, both partners have to be respectful of one another�s �job,� and responsibilities. They have to both agree in the beginning that each is as important as the other is, and that not one-half of the whole plays a more important or vital role. And, the two of you have to discuss money ahead of time, so that both of you feel comfortable spending and making financial decisions as necessary.
When a couple decides its time for one parent to stay home, it is important to sit down and have an open dialogue about expectations and the division of responsibilities. From time to time, the two of you will need to talk to make sure that things are going well for the two of you in case changes need to be made. Most importantly, you have to understand that just because one parent stays home doesn�t mean that they bear the full brunt of responsibility for the children and all that that encompasses.
As long as the two of you remain open and honest, you can make the dream of the white picket fence come true. Btu remember, having one parent work while the other stays home with the kiddos can truly put pressure on the marriage in more ways than you might think.
About The Author: David runs the Professor�s House, a site that covers all aspects that happen within the home. If you want to learn more about relationships, d�cor, family, pets, food or children visit http://www.professorshouse.com
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=1840374
*********************** ARTICLE END ***********************
- To distribute your articles go to http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php
- For more free-reprint articles go to http://www.isnare.com
Message delivered directly to members of the group:
publish-the...@googlegroups.com
*****************************************************************
Please consider this free-reprint article written by:
David Beart
*****************************
IMPORTANT - Publication/Reprint Terms
- You have permission to publish this article electronically in free-only publications such as a website or an ezine as long as the bylines are included.
- You are not allowed to use this article for commercial purposes. The article should only be reprinted in a publicly accessible website and not in a members-only commercial site.
- You are not allowed to post/reprint this article in any sites/publications that contains or supports hate, violence, porn and warez or any indecent and illegal sites/publications.
- You are not allowed to use this article in UCE (Unsolicited Commercial Email) or SPAM. This article MUST be distributed in an opt-in email list only.
- If you distribute this article in an ezine or newsletter, we ask that you send a copy of the newsletter or ezine that contains the article to http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=1840374
- If you post this article in a website/forum/blog, ALL links MUST be set to hyperlinks and we ask that you send a copy of the URL where the article is posted to http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=1840374
- We request that you ask permission from the author if you want to publish this article in print.
The role of iSnare.com is only to distribute this article as part of its Article Distribution feature ( http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php ). iSnare.com does NOT own this article, please respect the author's copyright and this publication/reprint terms. If you do not agree to any of these terms, please do not reprint or publish this article.
*****************************
Article Title: How Being a Stay at Home Parent Can Affect Your Marriage
Author: David Beart
Word Count: 829
Article URL: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=1840374&ca=Parenting
Format: 64cpl
Contact The Author: http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=1840374
Easy Publish Tool: http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=1840374
*********************** ARTICLE START ***********************
You got married. You bought the perfect house in the nicest subdivision you could afford. You got your first brand new car, finished paying off your college loans, and got accustomed to eating dinner with your spouse wearing sweatpants and t-shirts. Then, taking things to the next � expected phase of life, you had a child. Or two, or three.
And then suddenly, you and your spouse realized that leaving your child with a day care center or sending them to preschool when they couldn�t even walk yet, caused you to feel a tremendous amount of fear. Next thing you know, you are giving up the career you spend the first half of your life building. You are trading in the sports car for a bottom of the line mini-van and wearing clothes that have been out of fashion for a few years. Yes, you have decided to have the one income, stay at home parent household that makes up approximately 46% of all households in the United States.
Years ago, one income, one stay at home parent households were the norm. The biggest difference today is that men are joining the ranks of stay at home parents. What many married people do not realize is that this living arrangement can be extremely hard on the marriage. Not at first of course. But in the long run, having just one working parent can cause a tremendous amount of financial and emotional pressure on the couple, with both partners feeling resentful of the other for one thing or another.
According to statistics, being a stay at home parent actually increases your chance of divorce in the first 11 years of marriage. However, most people in a single working family where one parent stays home with the kids aren�t able to divorce as soon as they realize the marriage is over, because of the financial situation. And many stay unhappy for a long period of time.
Often, the parent who stays home feels trapped in the marriage. They lose their financial autonomy and can be likened to the status of a child. This parent, who normally does all the shopping and takes care of things around the house can feel undermined and lose their sense of self � whether they are man or woman. And since they seem to spend the bulk of the money paying bills, and buying groceries � the working parent often resents them for �spending the money,� even if it is evident that it�s not on themselves. Plus the stay at home parent can feel isolated, while their partner is out earning a living and socializing with adults in the workplace.
Additionally, the stay at home parent may resent becoming the �do all maid� for everyone in the home. Sure, it�s easier for the parent who stays home to tend to the house and all the things that implies. However, eventually the other parent may start taking advantage of the situation or taking it for granted. And this too causes resentment. For one thing, if the stay at home parent voices their opinion about feeling like the maid in the house � they risk sounding unhappy with the situation. And so most say nothing.
The bottom line is that choosing to be a stay at home parent can have consequences on the marriage. Even if both people agree that the kids need a parent to be at home, the long term ramifications can get out of hand if a couple doesn�t feel comfortable communicating about the challenges. Additionally, in order for this type of relationship to work, both partners have to be respectful of one another�s �job,� and responsibilities. They have to both agree in the beginning that each is as important as the other is, and that not one-half of the whole plays a more important or vital role. And, the two of you have to discuss money ahead of time, so that both of you feel comfortable spending and making financial decisions as necessary.
When a couple decides its time for one parent to stay home, it is important to sit down and have an open dialogue about expectations and the division of responsibilities. From time to time, the two of you will need to talk to make sure that things are going well for the two of you in case changes need to be made. Most importantly, you have to understand that just because one parent stays home doesn�t mean that they bear the full brunt of responsibility for the children and all that that encompasses.
As long as the two of you remain open and honest, you can make the dream of the white picket fence come true. Btu remember, having one parent work while the other stays home with the kiddos can truly put pressure on the marriage in more ways than you might think.
About The Author: David runs the Professor�s House, a site that covers all aspects that happen within the home. If you want to learn more about relationships, d�cor, family, pets, food or children visit http://www.professorshouse.com
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=1840374
*********************** ARTICLE END ***********************
- To distribute your articles go to http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php
- For more free-reprint articles go to http://www.isnare.com
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