Repairing Hurtful Relationships
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Brenda Shoshanna
Mar 25, 2013, 10:40:02 PM3/25/13
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Please consider this free-reprint article written by:
Brenda Shoshanna
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Article Title: Repairing Hurtful Relationships
Author: Brenda Shoshanna
Word Count: 631
Article URL: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=265017&ca=Relationships
Format: 64cpl
Contact The Author: http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=265017
Easy Publish Tool: http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=265017
*********************** ARTICLE START ***********************
So much hurt and pain arises from our feeling of having been betrayed. Not only does this undercut the foundation of our relationships, but it can cause us to lose trust in ourselves. We blame ourselves for having been deceived, for not being smart enough to realize what has been going on. Trust has been violated. We do not now know what to put our faith in. The following are forms of betrayal in relationships. Check to see if you are involved in them. If so, you will have a key to correcting pain, loss and disappointment in your relationships.
Forms of Betrayal
Betrayal comes in many disguises. Cheating in relationships is one of the most common. However, other forms are equally destructive. Little, white lies are common; many fib, exaggerate, and spin tales naturally, as if it were expected. Yet, these little lies also undermine the fabric of our relationship both with another and with ourselves.
There are many ways in which we lie to ourselves and others. It is so important to become clear about this because lying causes us to forget who we truly are, what we are here for, and how to find joy and meaning in our lives. As we lie, we build a wall of fantasy that we become trapped in. We lose sense of our direction and of what is really happening, moment by moment. As we lose touch with basic truthfulness, more lies (or delusions) develop. These begin to seem real. The danger escalates, both to us and others.
Lying includes not simply saying untruths, it includes exaggeration, communicating mixed messages, implying things you do not mean. Lying includes non-verbal communication - acting one way when you feel another. It includes the unwillingness to communicate - shutting yourself off. You are lying to another by withholding the truth of who you are.
When we minimize, dismiss, deny and pretend something isn't happening we are also engaged in lying. Often to ourselves. It takes great strength and courage to look at what is before us, to see it as it is, and go on from there. As we grow able to do this, lies and the need for lying fades away.
Games, pretenses and casual promises not kept, are other forms of betrayal and lying. Whether or not we realize it, we are creating confusion and lack of balance. When these forms of deception become habitual, they become a silent poison, taking joy and fulfillment away in ourselves and others away. A hypocritical person, one who plays games, says on thing and does another. He pretends to be someone he is not. He usually wants honor, acclaim, wealth, or stature that is not his due. This is another way form of deception. Some hypocrites are so lost, they have truly forgotten who they are. When hypocrisy goes to the extreme, we see con men or sociopaths. Beware hypocrites. Beware being hypocritical as well.
Exercise: Give Up A Lie A Day - Go Cold Turkey
If you get in touch with the ways you live with lies in your life and go cold turkey for one day, you will be amazed, at how good it will feel.
A) Write down all the lies you tell yourself and others.
B) Next to each lie, write down what purpose it serves.
C) Next to each lie, also write, what the effects it has upon you - and the one you lie to.
D) Go Cold Turkey. Just for today. Cut it all out. Just stop it.
Remember it's just for today. See how it feels to stop it. Take a deep breath and rejoice.
About The Author: Dr. Shoshanna provides fee expert advice. A leading psychologist and best selling author, her work helps people heal from their problems, and find new happiness and joy in their lives. http://www.therapist-in-nyc.com
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=265017
*********************** ARTICLE END ***********************
- To distribute your articles go to http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php
- For more free-reprint articles go to http://www.isnare.com
Message delivered directly to members of the group:
publish-the...@googlegroups.com
*****************************************************************
Please consider this free-reprint article written by:
Brenda Shoshanna
*****************************
IMPORTANT - Publication/Reprint Terms
- You have permission to publish this article electronically in free-only publications such as a website or an ezine as long as the bylines are included.
- You are not allowed to use this article for commercial purposes. The article should only be reprinted in a publicly accessible website and not in a members-only commercial site.
- You are not allowed to post/reprint this article in any sites/publications that contains or supports hate, violence, porn and warez or any indecent and illegal sites/publications.
- You are not allowed to use this article in UCE (Unsolicited Commercial Email) or SPAM. This article MUST be distributed in an opt-in email list only.
- If you distribute this article in an ezine or newsletter, we ask that you send a copy of the newsletter or ezine that contains the article to http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=265017
- If you post this article in a website/forum/blog, ALL links MUST be set to hyperlinks and we ask that you send a copy of the URL where the article is posted to http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=265017
- We request that you ask permission from the author if you want to publish this article in print.
The role of iSnare.com is only to distribute this article as part of its Article Distribution feature ( http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php ). iSnare.com does NOT own this article, please respect the author's copyright and this publication/reprint terms. If you do not agree to any of these terms, please do not reprint or publish this article.
*****************************
Article Title: Repairing Hurtful Relationships
Author: Brenda Shoshanna
Word Count: 631
Article URL: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=265017&ca=Relationships
Format: 64cpl
Contact The Author: http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=265017
Easy Publish Tool: http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=265017
*********************** ARTICLE START ***********************
So much hurt and pain arises from our feeling of having been betrayed. Not only does this undercut the foundation of our relationships, but it can cause us to lose trust in ourselves. We blame ourselves for having been deceived, for not being smart enough to realize what has been going on. Trust has been violated. We do not now know what to put our faith in. The following are forms of betrayal in relationships. Check to see if you are involved in them. If so, you will have a key to correcting pain, loss and disappointment in your relationships.
Forms of Betrayal
Betrayal comes in many disguises. Cheating in relationships is one of the most common. However, other forms are equally destructive. Little, white lies are common; many fib, exaggerate, and spin tales naturally, as if it were expected. Yet, these little lies also undermine the fabric of our relationship both with another and with ourselves.
There are many ways in which we lie to ourselves and others. It is so important to become clear about this because lying causes us to forget who we truly are, what we are here for, and how to find joy and meaning in our lives. As we lie, we build a wall of fantasy that we become trapped in. We lose sense of our direction and of what is really happening, moment by moment. As we lose touch with basic truthfulness, more lies (or delusions) develop. These begin to seem real. The danger escalates, both to us and others.
Lying includes not simply saying untruths, it includes exaggeration, communicating mixed messages, implying things you do not mean. Lying includes non-verbal communication - acting one way when you feel another. It includes the unwillingness to communicate - shutting yourself off. You are lying to another by withholding the truth of who you are.
When we minimize, dismiss, deny and pretend something isn't happening we are also engaged in lying. Often to ourselves. It takes great strength and courage to look at what is before us, to see it as it is, and go on from there. As we grow able to do this, lies and the need for lying fades away.
Games, pretenses and casual promises not kept, are other forms of betrayal and lying. Whether or not we realize it, we are creating confusion and lack of balance. When these forms of deception become habitual, they become a silent poison, taking joy and fulfillment away in ourselves and others away. A hypocritical person, one who plays games, says on thing and does another. He pretends to be someone he is not. He usually wants honor, acclaim, wealth, or stature that is not his due. This is another way form of deception. Some hypocrites are so lost, they have truly forgotten who they are. When hypocrisy goes to the extreme, we see con men or sociopaths. Beware hypocrites. Beware being hypocritical as well.
Exercise: Give Up A Lie A Day - Go Cold Turkey
If you get in touch with the ways you live with lies in your life and go cold turkey for one day, you will be amazed, at how good it will feel.
A) Write down all the lies you tell yourself and others.
B) Next to each lie, write down what purpose it serves.
C) Next to each lie, also write, what the effects it has upon you - and the one you lie to.
D) Go Cold Turkey. Just for today. Cut it all out. Just stop it.
Remember it's just for today. See how it feels to stop it. Take a deep breath and rejoice.
About The Author: Dr. Shoshanna provides fee expert advice. A leading psychologist and best selling author, her work helps people heal from their problems, and find new happiness and joy in their lives. http://www.therapist-in-nyc.com
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=265017
*********************** ARTICLE END ***********************
- To distribute your articles go to http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php
- For more free-reprint articles go to http://www.isnare.com
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