The Pick Up Artist - Fact Or Fiction?
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Nick Sparks
Apr 19, 2010, 5:25:01 AM4/19/10
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Please consider this free-reprint article written by:
Nick Sparks
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Article Title: The Pick Up Artist - Fact Or Fiction?
Author: Nick Sparks
Word Count: 836
Article URL: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=504766&ca=Advice
Format: 64cpl
Contact The Author: http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=504766
Easy Publish Tool: http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=504766
*********************** ARTICLE START ***********************
One sort of guy who “works at” getting better with women and tries to attract women is the aspiring pick up artist.
The most telling thing about pickup artists (aka PUAs) is that most guys who get women, who get labeled as them eventually wish they weren’t. And most of the real pickup artists out there are guys you’ve never heard of, with no products to sell, no nine-step system, and no notoriety except amongst a few of their buddies and the legions of women they’ve slept with.
I’m friends with a lot of guys on facebook who add PUA to their name… silly things like Icedragon PUA or Adam PUA. No disrespect, but that sort of thing really smacks of an identity that is flapping around in the wind.
Hmm, let me explain.
We all have a notion of who we are – this is called our “identity”. Our behaviors are tied to this identity. So if you’ve been told that you’re a “nice guy” your whole life, and that’s what you believe about yourself, then you’ll probably be, well, nice. You’ll do nice things for people, go out of your way to help people, and you’ll probably be very considerate of others.
Nothing wrong with any of that.
But if being a nice guy prevents you from doing things that, in your conception of a “nice guy”, aren’t very nice, then you might have a hard time doing some of the stuff that women find insanely attractive and you will find it hard to get women. It just doesn’t “feel right.”
Follow me?
This isn’t to harp on nice guys. A kid who grows up on the streets and is told that he’s a “thug” his whole life is probably going to have to make some adjustments if he manages to escape the hood and join, say, the business community. His identity is going to drive a set of behaviors that are defensive, walled-off… all the stuff he needed to survive in the streets.
Another example is the kid who grows up in an upper-middle class household, gets everything handed to him on a silver plate, and never learns to hustle. He skates through college, then gets out into the real world and lands a sales job. If he still holds onto the notion that he’s above hustling – a prerequisite for any good sales guy – he’s going to find his ass out of that job mighty fast.
Point being, when we have a conception of who we are, one that’s been reinforced for anywhere from fifteen to fifty years, it can be tough to break out of the mold. Sometimes it’s easier to adopt a new identity, or alter-ego, altogether.
Since The Game and The Pickup Artist came out, many men have decided that being a pickup artist is preferable to being whatever else they may currently be. Often, this is accompanied by the addition of outlandish clothing, silly hats, and certain behaviors and values that somehow permeated the “pickup community”. Many of these are counter-productive, childish, and don’t reflect the reality of the real pickup artists and how they get women, the hustlers and lady killers who have no need for an alternate identity because they’re already slaying it out there.
As I’ve stated before, I have no idea where you’re coming into this book from. Your sense of self could be incredibly strong, or incredibly fragile. What I’d encourage you to think about is this: there are going to be some things that you have to do or say which may be beyond your comfort zone. If you ever find that little voice in your head saying “I’d never say that” or “I’d never do that,” you now know where it’s coming from (your identity) and you have to ask yourself if the “I” in that situation is really looking out for your best interests.
I’ll get into that more in a second. But I want you to understand that the cult of the pickup artist is one that has been created, and reinforced, by insecure guys who weren’t getting women when they decided that they wanted to be called PUAs and hope that now they will get women.
And yes, I recognize the irony of all of this, considering that this is the official book of PUAForums. But don’t get too hung up on a name. We’re here because we want to teach you how to get wome, and whether you become a pickup artist in the truest sense of the word… or a lady killer… or a social man… the goals are the same, trying to attract women. Call it what you like.
About The Author: Nick Sparks is one New York City's top personal development and dating advice coaches, specializing in teaching guys how to pick up women. He can be found at http://www.thepowertoattract.com
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=504766
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Please consider this free-reprint article written by:
Nick Sparks
*****************************
IMPORTANT - Publication/Reprint Terms
- You have permission to publish this article electronically in free-only publications such as a website or an ezine as long as the bylines are included.
- You are not allowed to use this article for commercial purposes. The article should only be reprinted in a publicly accessible website and not in a members-only commercial site.
- You are not allowed to post/reprint this article in any sites/publications that contains or supports hate, violence, porn and warez or any indecent and illegal sites/publications.
- You are not allowed to use this article in UCE (Unsolicited Commercial Email) or SPAM. This article MUST be distributed in an opt-in email list only.
- If you distribute this article in an ezine or newsletter, we ask that you send a copy of the newsletter or ezine that contains the article to http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=504766
- If you post this article in a website/forum/blog, ALL links MUST be set to hyperlinks and we ask that you send a copy of the URL where the article is posted to http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=504766
- We request that you ask permission from the author if you want to publish this article in print.
The role of iSnare.com is only to distribute this article as part of its Article Distribution feature ( http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php ). iSnare.com does NOT own this article, please respect the author's copyright and this publication/reprint terms. If you do not agree to any of these terms, please do not reprint or publish this article.
*****************************
Article Title: The Pick Up Artist - Fact Or Fiction?
Author: Nick Sparks
Word Count: 836
Article URL: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=504766&ca=Advice
Format: 64cpl
Contact The Author: http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=504766
Easy Publish Tool: http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=504766
*********************** ARTICLE START ***********************
One sort of guy who “works at” getting better with women and tries to attract women is the aspiring pick up artist.
The most telling thing about pickup artists (aka PUAs) is that most guys who get women, who get labeled as them eventually wish they weren’t. And most of the real pickup artists out there are guys you’ve never heard of, with no products to sell, no nine-step system, and no notoriety except amongst a few of their buddies and the legions of women they’ve slept with.
I’m friends with a lot of guys on facebook who add PUA to their name… silly things like Icedragon PUA or Adam PUA. No disrespect, but that sort of thing really smacks of an identity that is flapping around in the wind.
Hmm, let me explain.
We all have a notion of who we are – this is called our “identity”. Our behaviors are tied to this identity. So if you’ve been told that you’re a “nice guy” your whole life, and that’s what you believe about yourself, then you’ll probably be, well, nice. You’ll do nice things for people, go out of your way to help people, and you’ll probably be very considerate of others.
Nothing wrong with any of that.
But if being a nice guy prevents you from doing things that, in your conception of a “nice guy”, aren’t very nice, then you might have a hard time doing some of the stuff that women find insanely attractive and you will find it hard to get women. It just doesn’t “feel right.”
Follow me?
This isn’t to harp on nice guys. A kid who grows up on the streets and is told that he’s a “thug” his whole life is probably going to have to make some adjustments if he manages to escape the hood and join, say, the business community. His identity is going to drive a set of behaviors that are defensive, walled-off… all the stuff he needed to survive in the streets.
Another example is the kid who grows up in an upper-middle class household, gets everything handed to him on a silver plate, and never learns to hustle. He skates through college, then gets out into the real world and lands a sales job. If he still holds onto the notion that he’s above hustling – a prerequisite for any good sales guy – he’s going to find his ass out of that job mighty fast.
Point being, when we have a conception of who we are, one that’s been reinforced for anywhere from fifteen to fifty years, it can be tough to break out of the mold. Sometimes it’s easier to adopt a new identity, or alter-ego, altogether.
Since The Game and The Pickup Artist came out, many men have decided that being a pickup artist is preferable to being whatever else they may currently be. Often, this is accompanied by the addition of outlandish clothing, silly hats, and certain behaviors and values that somehow permeated the “pickup community”. Many of these are counter-productive, childish, and don’t reflect the reality of the real pickup artists and how they get women, the hustlers and lady killers who have no need for an alternate identity because they’re already slaying it out there.
As I’ve stated before, I have no idea where you’re coming into this book from. Your sense of self could be incredibly strong, or incredibly fragile. What I’d encourage you to think about is this: there are going to be some things that you have to do or say which may be beyond your comfort zone. If you ever find that little voice in your head saying “I’d never say that” or “I’d never do that,” you now know where it’s coming from (your identity) and you have to ask yourself if the “I” in that situation is really looking out for your best interests.
I’ll get into that more in a second. But I want you to understand that the cult of the pickup artist is one that has been created, and reinforced, by insecure guys who weren’t getting women when they decided that they wanted to be called PUAs and hope that now they will get women.
And yes, I recognize the irony of all of this, considering that this is the official book of PUAForums. But don’t get too hung up on a name. We’re here because we want to teach you how to get wome, and whether you become a pickup artist in the truest sense of the word… or a lady killer… or a social man… the goals are the same, trying to attract women. Call it what you like.
About The Author: Nick Sparks is one New York City's top personal development and dating advice coaches, specializing in teaching guys how to pick up women. He can be found at http://www.thepowertoattract.com
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=504766
*********************** ARTICLE END ***********************
- To distribute your articles go to http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php
- For more free-reprint articles go to http://www.isnare.com --
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