Potty Training Issues - Things I Have Learned & You Want to Know

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Colleen Langenfeld

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Mar 15, 2013, 4:31:13 AM3/15/13
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Colleen Langenfeld

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Article Title: Potty Training Issues - Things I Have Learned & You Want to Know
Author: Colleen Langenfeld
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There are many frustrating potty training issues - things like regression, being uncooperative, resistance, constipation and so on.

After toilet training four children of my own, I can tell you I've experienced all these potty issues and more.

Here are the things I learned that would make potty training today go much, much smoother.

- Slow down.

Like most parents, once I decided to begin toilet training my child I wanted it to be finished quickly.

However, instead of accomplishing that through smart and adequate preparation (see the next point), I tried to hurry things along by yelling. Pushing harder. Engaging in multiple power struggles.

The harder I pushed my toddlers to be potty trained, the more stubborn they became.

What started as a simple potty training issue of, say, not wanting to stop playing when the need to potty presented itself, would blow up into a matter of full-blown resistance.

The truth is I would have had more success moving slower, working WITH my kids maturing personalities instead of putting us all on an arbitrary schedule.

Slowing down is really about listening to your toddlers and preschoolers and working with their natural rhythms; first they want to grow up - today - and then they want to be a baby again - for a bit.

Working with those bents would have meant we moved forward at the fastest rate possible given the people involved.

How could I ask for more than that?

- Prepare fully.

I confess, my idea of preparing fully before I potty trained my oldest was that I bought a potty chair.

Well, that's certainly necessary, but that lack of complete prep work meant the potty training issues that came up stopped me in my tracks.

The sad thing is, it didn't have to be that way.

If I would have done my upfront research, I would have thought through exactly what I was going to do if and when my child got bored, tired of, or mad at potty training.

I would have assembled toilet training resources that I could have used to work through all of those scenarios. Books, videos, potty dolls and stuffed animals, small prizes and more.

If I would have thought the potty process through before I ever started, I would have known before I began that I had a son who was very active and imaginative and liked to think he was in charge.

All of that was vital information I could have used to my (and his) advantage by structuring potty training to work with his personality.

Instead I tried to simply do it my way. Result? It took two years to potty train him.

- More cuddle time.

Toilet training is about patience. Patience is more than a word. When you realize you don't have any patience is precisely the point you need it the most and must reach down deep until you find more.

For me, this is best illustrated through cuddle time.

When my children resisted training, when they argued, when they were openly defiant, these were all messages my toddlers were sending me that I was pushing too hard and not listening to them.

Having an immediate cuddle time would have diffused a lot of tense moments and put us back on the same team instead of giving my kids reason to dig in their heels. It also would have allowed me to catch my breath and gather more patience.

Don't get me wrong. If you have an intentionally defiant youngster you MUST deal with that. But once you've taken care of the moment, you need to heal the situation so that your child will continue to hear you.

One excellent way to do that is through hugs, cuddles and listening.

What's the bottom line here? If you are toilet training, you are going to deal with potty training issues. Period. (If you don't, you are a rare breed.)

So learn from my mistakes. Slow down, prepare fully and find ways to be patient and listen to your child, especially when you don't want to.

Those are good life lessons for all of the parenting you'll need to do as your child grows.


About The Author: Colleen Langenfeld has potty trained 4 kids and helps moms enjoy mothering more at http://www.paintedgold.com . Toilet train faster using her potty charts and creative ideas plus uncover more about potty training issues by visiting http://www.paintedgold.com/Potty/potty-train-issues.html today.

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