Well, "Mission Accomplished" in North Korea, kids
... L'il Kim handed China a laundry list of nuclear bits and pieces so the Dubby
has declared him, and his brutal dictatorship, no longer evil. Pffft!
Tell it to the political prisoners. Oh, but wait -- none of
that trio has a red hot record in human rights, do they. OK ... never
mind. Just a little pissing contest among the three 'evil' monkeys [you
know -- the hear no, see no, speak no dumb-ass monkeys.]
And -- oh, yes -- the
Supremes like 'em some guns; no brainer there. Scalia wrote the paper, and in
yer minds eye you can see him and Uncle Dick huddled in their duck blind,
throwing back a few, waiting for some poor hand-raised bird to be tossed into
the air. Fingers on the trigger, monkey-business in their minds.
In
other news, Afghanistan is going up in flames and the North Pole will likely be ice-free this summer; we'll have to recreate Santa with an Hawaiian shirt and a
snorkel [I think I've seen him dressed like that in some Coke ads.] Food is a
big issue, with Killer Tomato's and more bad news from the bee-keeper's --
indeed, Burt's Bees has introduced Colony Collapse Disorder Lip Balm to its list
of
products.
Since
oil has just hit $140 a barrel, you'll probably be home this weekend to read --
so here's an interesting collection. You'll find mention of George Carlin in
some of them -- he was a national treasure, like Molly was. I've included a nice
read on the Onion; we think highly of the Onion at PWaves.
We'll take a
look at John Yoo and David Addington under subpoena; if you want to know what's
wrong with Dubby's government, look no farther. Somebody needs to slap the
disrespect out of these Amerofascists; these monkeys are refugees from Wizard of Oz.
There's a fascinating bit on aphasic people and
how they read body language (starring St. Ronnie the Reagan,) and another
entitled Empathy Deficit Disorder, which explains a lot about some people we
know; the GOP will want to read that one, since they've identified a certain
failing in this area and are attempting to reconstruct the 'negative perceptions
about the party.' That will have to be my second Pffft! of the
day.
Joe
Bageant, of Deer Hunting With Jesus fame, writes a poignant piece on sex
offenders, which is timely since one of McCain's possible VP picks, Louisiana Governor [and sometime exorcist] Bobby Jindal has just signed a bill to
chemically castrate everyone in this category. Just one more reason not to plan
a vacation in the Big
Easy [or a vote for John McRib.]
Last,
you'll find the link to one hell of a speech from Christ Dodd on the FISA bill,
delivered in Congress this week. He's a good one. A few other links on that
topic, as well.
Lots of stuff to think about in this post. And let's
start the weekend with a retrospective of where we've been -- here's a very fun
Youtube ... see how many people you recognize:
We Didn't Start The Fire
Keep
cool, dearhearts -- it's all grist for the
mill.
Jude
When Anonymity Fails, Be Nasty, Brutish
and Short
Dana Milbank, WaPo
Friday, June 27, 2008
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/06/26/AR2008062603456_pf.html
Throughout the Bush presidency, he toiled in secrecy deep within the
White House, a mysterious and feared presence who never stepped into the
sunlight of public disclosure.
Until yesterday.
There he sat,
hunched and scowling, at the witness table in front of the House Judiciary
Committee: the bearded, burly form of the chief of staff and alter ego to the
vice president -- Cheney's Cheney, if you will -- and the man most responsible
for building President Bush's notion of an imperial presidency.
David
Addington was there under subpoena. And he wasn't happy about it.
Could
the president ever be justified in breaking the law? "I'm not going to answer a
legal opinion on every imaginable set of facts any human being could think of,"
Addington growled. Did he consult Congress when interpreting torture laws?
"That's irrelevant," he barked. Would it be legal to torture a detainee's child?
"I'm not here to render legal advice to your committee," he snarled. "You do
have attorneys of your own."
He had the grace of Gollum as he quarreled
with his questioners. In response to one of the chairman's questions, he neither
looked up nor spoke before finishing a note he was writing to himself. When Rep.
Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Fla.) questioned his failure to remember
conversations about interrogation techniques, he only looked at her and asked:
"Is there a question pending, ma'am?" Finally, at the end of the hearing,
Addington was asked whether he would meet privately to discuss classified
matters. "You have my number," he said. "If you issue a subpoena, we'll go
through this again."
Think of Addington as the id of the Bush White
House. Though his hidden hand is often merely suspected -- in signing
statements, torture policy and other brazen assertions of executive power --
Addington's unbridled hostility was live and unfiltered yesterday.
He sat
slouched in his chair, scratching his mustache, as Jerry Nadler (D-N.Y.),
chairman of the Constitution subcommittee, warned about "the unaccountable
monarchy" before offering Addington five minutes to make an opening statement.
Addington spoke for a minute and 12 seconds -- most of which was devoted to
correcting two errors in Nadler's introduction.
"Is that the entirety of
your statement?" the chairman asked.
"Yes, thank you," Addington replied.
"I'm ready to answer your questions."
He sure was. When John Conyers
(D-Mich.) inquired about Addington's pet legal concept, a "unitary executive
theory" that confers extreme powers on the president, Addington dished out
disdain.
"I frankly don't know what you mean by unitary theory,"
Addington replied.
"Have you ever heard of that theory before?"
"I
see it in the newspapers all the time," Addington replied.
"Do you
support it?"
"I don't know what it is."
The usually mild Conyers
was angry. "You're telling me you don't know what the unitary theory
means?"
"I don't know what you mean by it," Addington
answered.
"Do you know what you mean by it?"
"I know exactly what
I mean by it."
Addington went on to explain how the enemy's actions --
"smoke was still rising. . . . 3,000 Americans were just killed" -- justified
his legal reasoning. And he showed abundant disdain for dissenters, such as Rep.
Artur Davis (D-Ala.), who asked whether Addington consulted lawmakers about
anti-torture statutes. "There is no reason their opinion on that would be
relevant," he answered.
Addington's insolence appeared to embolden
another witness, his former administration colleague John Yoo. Yoo took Rep.
Keith Ellison (D-Minn.) on a semantic spin when asked about whether a torture
memo was implemented.
"What do you mean by 'implemented'?" Yoo
asked.
"Mr. Yoo," Ellison pressed, "are you denying knowledge of what the
word 'implement' means?"
"You're asking me to define what you mean by the
word?"
"No, I'm asking you to define what you mean by the word
'implement,' " the exasperated lawmaker clarified.
"It can mean a wide
number of things," Yoo demurred.
After several such dances around the
questions (whether, for example, the president could order somebody buried
alive), Rep. Steve Cohen (D-Tenn.) offered his grudging respect: "You guys are
great on 'Beat the Clock,' " he said.
"I don't play basketball," replied
the 41-year-old Yoo.
"That was a game show," Cohen explained.
But
Yoo was not about to win a nastiness contest with Addington. As Wasserman
Schultz questioned him, he put his chin in his hand, stroked his beard and cut
off the congresswoman with an offer of advice "that may be helpful to you in
asking your questions."
Schultz, declining the offer, asked him to
describe an interrogation he witnessed at Guantanamo Bay. "You could look and
see mouths moving," Addington answered. "I infer that there was communication
going on."
Cohen asked Addington to explain his curious theory that the
vice president is not part of the executive branch. Addington explained that the
vice president "belongs to neither" branch but is "attached by the Constitution"
to Congress.
"So he's kind of a barnacle?" Cohen inquired.
"I
don't consider the Constitution a barnacle," Addington said
reproachfully.
Cheney's Cheney continued to dole out the scorn ("You
asked that question earlier, today, and I'll give you the same answer") until
Bill Delahunt (D-Mass.), the last questioner, inquired about waterboarding. "I
can't talk to you -- al-Qaeda may watch these meetings," Addington said.
"I'm
glad they finally have a chance to see you, Mr. Addington," Delahunt
joked.
"I'm sure you're pleased," Addington growled.
++
Kelly Kennedy, George Carlin, and the Reason for
Traumatized Iraq Veterans Juan Cole, InformedComment
Wednesday, June
25, 2008
http://www.juancole.com/2008/06/kelly-kennedy-george-carlin-and-reason.html
The late George Carlin did not like the phrase "post-traumatic stress
disorder." He famously said,
' I don't like words that hide the
truth. I don't like words that conceal reality. I don't like euphemisms, or
euphemistic language. And American English is loaded with euphemisms. Cause
Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. Americans have trouble
facing the truth, so they invent the kind of a soft language to protect
themselves from it, and it gets worse with every generation. For some reason, it
just keeps getting worse. I'll give you an example of that.
There's a
condition in combat. Most people know about it. It's when a fighting person's
nervous system has been stressed to it's absolute peak and maximum. Can't take
anymore input. The nervous system has either (click) snapped or is about to
snap.
In the first world war, that condition was called shell shock.
Simple, honest, direct language. Two syllables, shell shock. Almost sounds like
the guns themselves.
That was seventy years ago. Then a whole generation
went by and the second world war came along and very same combat condition was
called battle fatigue. Four syllables now. Takes a little longer to say. Doesn't
seem to hurt as much. Fatigue is a nicer word than shock. Shell shock! Battle
fatigue.
Then we had the war in Korea, 1950. Madison avenue was riding
high by that time, and the very same combat condition was called operational
exhaustion. Hey, we're up to eight syllables now! And the humanity has been
squeezed completely out of the phrase. It's totally sterile now. Operational
exhaustion. Sounds like something that might happen to your car.
Then of
course, came the war in Viet Nam, which has only been over for about sixteen or
seventeen years, and thanks to the lies and deceits surrounding that war, I
guess it's no surprise that the very same condition was called post-traumatic
stress disorder. Still eight syllables, but we've added a hyphen! And the pain
is completely buried under jargon. Post-traumatic stress disorder.
I'll
bet you if we'd of still been calling it shell shock, some of those Viet Nam
veterans might have gotten the attention they needed at the time. I'll betcha.
I'll betcha.'
I have concluded that Carlin was right about that
issue. Being traumatized by war is not a disorder. In fact, if you are not
traumatized by the sight of body parts flying all around you as you are
splattered with the blood of people you know, then you would have a disorder.
Why not just say "war-traumatized"? Or better yet, "war-scarred"? The PTSD
phrase has the unfortunate effect of making it seem abnormal for people to be
negatively affected by wartime violence.
It is like the phrase "Vietnam
syndrome," in which the understandable reluctance of the Baby Boom generation to
launch big, long-lasting land wars in Asia was medicalized, as though there was
something wrong with them that they were not warmongers. Why not say that they
had 'learned the lessons of Vietnam,' or were 'Vietnam-scarred'? Why suggest
that there is something wrong with them for it?
So below is a report from
CBS on how the US networks have sanitized the Iraq War for viewers, and how we
cannot understand the long-term trauma suffered by US troops who served in Iraq
unless we understand what they've been through. Warning: her description of what
she and others saw in Iraq is explicit and disturbing. Carlin would be proud of
her:
"Army Times reporter Kelly Kennedy saw first hand the horrors of
the war in Iraq. She spoke to CBS News about her experiences and about how post
traumatic stress disorder is affecting the troops."
[open link for
Youtube] ++
Funny Man in an Unfunny World
Amy Goodman, TruthDig
via CommonDreams
Thursday, June 26, 2008 by TruthDig.com
http://www.commondreams.org/archive/2008/06/26/9916/
The world lost one of its great comedians this week with the death at
age 71 of George Carlin. Carlin had a career as a stand-up comic that spanned a
half-century, in which he continually broke new ground, targeting those in power
with his wit and genius. He impacted our culture, our media and our nation with
a stream of material that skewered institutions of the left and right, from
government to business and the church. He released 22 comedy albums, earning him
five Emmy nominations and winning four Grammys. He was the first guest host of
"Saturday Night Live," in 1975, and appeared on "The Tonight Show" 130 times. He
starred in 14 HBO specials and authored three best-selling books. He also left
an indelible mark on the radio station where I got my start in broadcast
journalism, Pacifica station WBAI 99.5 FM in New York City.
On Oct. 30,
1973, WBAI broadcast Carlin's "Filthy Words" routine. Carlin wrote on his Web
site, georgecarlin.com: "Lone professional moralist complains to FCC which
issues a Declaratory Order against station. Station goes to court." That court
battle would last five years, end at the U.S. Supreme Court and set the standard
for broadcast indecency laws that are hotly debated to this day. It was neither
accident nor coincidence that this iconoclastic comic would have some of his
most controversial material broadcast over Pacifica Radio's WBAI. The Pacifica
Network was founded in Berkeley, Calif., in 1949, with KPFA as the first truly
listener-sponsored radio station.
Back then, radio was so overwhelmingly
commercial that Pacifica founder Lew Hill and others found it worthless. As Hill
wrote in his "Theory of Listener Sponsored Radio," "If we want an improvement in
radio, the basic situation of broadcasting must be such that artists and
thinkers have a place to work — with freedom."
On July 3, 1978, the
Supreme Court ruled that the Federal Communications Commission could punish WBAI
for its broadcast of Carlin's routine, arguing that words relating to sex or
excretion (i.e., piss) when children might be listening were prohibited. Supreme
Court Justices William Brennan and Thurgood Marshall dissented, noting the
court's "depressing inability to appreciate that in our land of cultural
pluralism, there are many who think, act, and talk differently from the Members
of this Court, and who do not share their fragile sensibilities." Remarkably, 30
years later, the same issues are before a decidedly more conservative Supreme
Court.
Recent episodes of "fleeting expletives" from the mouths of
celebrities like Bono, Cher and Nicole Richie have prompted the FCC to seek
enhanced power to punish broadcasters. George Carlin pointed out what in our
society was truly indecent: the behavior of the powerful.
Yes, he spiced
his delivery with expletives. He was angry. He, like Pacifica, gave voice to
essential, dissident perspectives that have been almost entirely blocked from
mainstream media. He said: "We were founded on a very basic double standard.
This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. Am I right? A
group of slave owners who wanted to be free, so they killed a lot of white
English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they
could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people and move west and steal the
rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off
and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. You know what the
motto of this country ought to be? You give us a color, we'll wipe it
out."
His prolific output will continue to inspire for generations to
come. ++
Amy Goodman is the host of "Democracy Now!," a daily
international TV/radio news hour airing on more than 700 stations in North
America.
Reading The Onion Seriously
Combining
irreverent humor and acerbic critique, a handful of new media outlets —
including The Onion — are transforming American politics and
culture
A news brief reported,"Dead Iraqi Would Have Loved Democracy," which in
just six words refuted most arguments for the war.
After 9/11, The Onion
stopped its presses for one week. The hiatus allowed the paper to show its
respect for the gravity of what had happened in lower Manhattan. But it also
enabled its staff to come up with the paper's quite poignant reaction to the
terrorist strikes. It was announced by a large banner headline that read, "Holy
Fucking Shit — Attack on America." The statement perfectly captured the
confusion and fear of the moment. The paper's lead story, "U.S. Vows to Defeat
Whoever It Is We're at War With," accurately recorded the Bush administration's
immediate and enduring response to 9/11. To "America's enemy, be it Osama bin
Laden, Saddam Hussein, the Taliban, a multinational coalition of terrorist
organizations, any of a rogue's gallery of violent Islamic fringe groups, or an
entirely different, non-Islamic aggressor we've never even heard of," Bush
vowed, "be warned." A pair of news briefs in that same issue reported, "American
Life Turns into Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Movie" and "Hijackers Find Themselves in
Hell" instead of the "Paradise" they had expected.
As its new home city
(the paper moved its headquarters from Madison to New York City months earlier)
and the nation tried to make sense of the attacks, The Onion's 9/11 issue
uniquely encompassed a wide range of popular sentiments. "We really were just
trying to capture the sadness and anger everyone was feeling, and somehow it
came out as humor," Robert Siegel, then The Onion's editor-in-chief, recalled a
year later.
The End of Satire?
Ironically,
perhaps, the most powerful statement The Onion made in that landmark issue was
not about terrorism or the likelihood of the Bush administration's overreaction
to it, but instead about the future of irony itself. That week in Time, Roger
Rosenblatt's column carried the ominous title "The Age of Irony Comes to an
End," with an equally foreboding subheading of "No Longer Will We Fail to Take
Things Seriously." As Ground Zero smoldered, Rosenblatt searched for both blame
and a sign of hope. He wrote, "For some 30 years — roughly as long as the Twin
Towers were upright — the good folks in charge of America's intellectual life
have insisted that nothing was to be believed in or taken seriously." It was
irony, Rosenblatt suggested, that somehow had blinded us to the rising threat of
Islamic fundamentalism.
Such an overwrought notion was blown apart by a
range of critics, comic and otherwise. For its part, an Onion news brief
announced, "Report: Gen X Irony, Cynicism May Be Permanently Obsolete." In the
item, a Gen X-er states, "Remember the day after the attack, when all the
senators were singing 'God Bless America,' arm-in-arm?' asked Dave Holt,
29.'Normally, I'd make some sarcastic wisecrack about something like that. But
this time, I was deeply moved.' Added Holt: 'This earnestness can't last
forever. Can it?'"
Both the news brief and the entire 9/11 issue vividly
illustrated The Onion's answer to Holt's question, as did its lead story in the
next issue, "Shattered Nation Longs to Care About Stupid Bullshit Again."
Looking back one year later, Siegel explained to Alternet's Daniel Kurtzman that
irony would survive well into the twenty-first century. "Many things about
America changed, but you can't kill humor….Obviously people are going to laugh
and people will still be sarcastic and snide and ironic and winking and
insincere. That's a good thing. That's a sign of the return to
normalcy."
'Gulf War II: The
Vengeance'
Unfortunately, for the Bush administration "normalcy"
soon meant outright deception, scare tactics, and bullying in the service of its
primary goal of invading Iraq. The Onion, as usual, saw right through the jingo.
In March 2002, when talk of taking down Saddam was in the air but nearly six
months away from becoming an official plan, one of the paper's headlines read,
"Military Promises 'Huge Numbers' for Gulf War II: The Vengeance."
The
lead photo for the article showed Donald Rumsfeld giving a typical chesty
gesture at a press conference in front of a Photoshopped movie poster of Gulf
War II: The Vengeance, starring W. and Saddam. The other photo in the piece was
even more prophetic, as it featured W. in full military gear, carrying an
automatic weapon and hunting down rebel forces. The image smacked more of Rambo
than the Top Gun–style "Mission Accomplished" scene that W. eventually chose,
but the prediction was accurate enough.
According to the article, the PR
blitz for Gulf War II also included a pact with Topps for a series of trading
cards; "a first-look deal with CNN, guaranteeing the network full access to the
front lines, as well as first crack at interviewing the men and women behind the
scenes"; and a "two-cry deal" with Dan Rather. Late that summer, then–White
House chief of staff Andrew Card famously stated that the administration was
waiting until after Labor Day to unveil its full plan for Iraq because "you
don't introduce a new product in August." Six months prior, The Onion had
already sketched out the marketing plan for that dangerous "new product."
As the White House made its sales pitch for war, the lead article in The
Onion's issue in the second week after Labor Day — dated September 11, 2002 —
declared, "Bush Won't Stop Asking Cheney If We Can Invade Yet." In this case,
the story worked a father-versus-impatient-son storyline, and so focused less on
details of the Iraq question than on Cheney's control over W. At one point,
however, the piece did report that "Cheney sat Bush down and explained at length
the political ramifications of proceeding with a first strike without creating the
appearance of approval from Congress and the American people." It continued by
quoting Cheney's advice to Bush: "If we just wait a little longer, Saddam is
bound to commit some act of aggression or we'll find some juicy al Qaeda ties or
something, and then we can make it look like the whole country's behind it."
Here again the satire was right on target. Over the next month, in order
to help force Congress into granting the administration the authority to go to
war — a vote that would haunt many leading Democrats through both 2004 and 2008
— both Cheney and Bush stressed Saddam's alleged ties to al Qaeda. Such outright
distortions helped propel the Republicans' success in the upcoming midterms as
well as in 2004, and their game plan almost seemed lifted directly from the
pages of a satirical publication. While serious liberal news organizations such
as the New York Times helped disseminate the White House's specious rationale
for war, The Onion's lampoons turned out to be far more accurate. The Bush gang,
the paper said, was hell-bent on invading Iraq, and it would deploy any means
necessary in order to do so.
Throughout the fall campaign, The Onion
continued to see right through Bush's bluster. For example, the paper's lead
story in early October announced that "Bush Seeks U.N. Support for 'U.S. Does
Whatever It Wants Plan.'" "As a shining beacon of freedom and democracy, America
has inspired the world," Bush told the UN General Assembly. "In this spirit, I
call upon the world's nations to support my proposal to give America
unrestricted carte blanche to remove whatever leaders, plunder whatever
resources, and impose whatever policies it deems necessary or expedient." Such
aggressive unilateralism underpinned the rationale W. here gave the UN for
overthrowing Saddam: "The time has come for this man to step down, because we
want him to." Meanwhile, the question "What should we do about Saddam's WMD?"
domi-nated mainstream media discussion. Based on a false premise, the question
itself dictated the answer. It was a sophisticated level of deception, and given
Saddam's reputation, it was easy fodder for cable news chatter.
But for
its part, The Onion generally steered clear of that question, and instead
frequently pointed out how the war enabled Bush to shift the nation's attention
from other problems. In "Bush on Economy: 'Saddam Must Be Overthrown,'" for
example, the war solved problems ranging from a weak manufacturing sector to the
ongoing corporate scandals, which at the time involved WorldCom and Enron.
Similarly, W.'s answer to the problem of North Korea was, of course, to invade
Iraq; later, he tried to help sell his tax cuts by offering another $300 on top
of his initial tax rebate, provided that the United States went to war. Brushing
aside the WMD issue, The Onion consistently put forth a satirical but convincing
case that the United States was going to war simply because the Bush
administration wanted it.
When the war finally began in March 2003, the
paper continued to mock both the Bush administration's theatrics and its claims
to an easy victory. One memorable lead story again foretold Bush's "Mission
Accomplished" moment with remarkable accuracy. Beside a photo of W. leading an
invading squad of soldiers through desert combat, the paper's top story
explained how "Bush Bravely Leads 3rd Infantry into Battle." In that same issue,
a news brief reported,"Dead Iraqi Would Have Loved Democracy," which in just six
words refuted most arguments for the war. With notable foresight, the lead in
the following week's top story then stated,"Following a 12th consecutive day of
fighting, a puzzled and frustrated President Bush confided to military advisors
Monday that he 'really figured the war would be over by now.'"
In that
story, and in many others, Bush came across as juvenile and incompetent, a front
man for Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, and the other neo-cons. In the fall of
2002, Beltway media mainstay Bob Woodward had, in Bush at War, legitimized the
notion that W. really was in charge of his administration's war plans; four
years and two books later,Woodward's analysis mirrored that found in The
Onion.
The Onion Stays the Course
As the
overthrow of Saddam became the occupation of Iraq, the paper stayed on the
attack. It fired back at Bush shortly after he gave his spurious speech aboard
the USS Abraham Lincoln declaring victory; here was the Hollywood moment that
the paper had sagely predicted, with Bush effectively combining two Tom Cruise
films (Top Gun and Mission: Impossible).
But in The Onion's account,
instead of stating that the mission was over, the sign behind Bush read "screw
you, vets,"and the story detailed a ribbon-cutting ceremony at which Bush cut
veterans benefits. The piece also featured what was by The Onion standards an
unusually earnest photo, of a homeless African American vet dejectedly
panhandling. Such sentimentality was short-lived, however, as the next week's
lead story returned to form: "Gen. Tommy Franks Quits Army to Pursue Solo
Bombing Projects." "The years I've spent with the Army have been amazing, and we
did some fantastic bombing," Franks stated. "But at this point, I feel like I've
taken it as far as I can. It's time for me to move on and see what I can destroy
on my own."
Amid the chaotic aftermath of the invasion, many media
observers, as well as Democratic Party officials, began to turn against the Bush
administration, attacking its incompetent handling of the occupation. The Onion,
however, continued its relentless assault on both the design and the execution
of the war. ++
© 2008 by Theodore Hamm. This piece was adapted from
Theodore Hamm's The New Blue Media: How Michael Moore, MoveOn.org, Jon Stewart
and Company Are Transforming Progressive Politics (The New Press). Published
with the permission of The New Press and available now at good book stores
everywhere.
"I'm a Goddamned Magnet for Bad Luck"
Old
Dogs and Hard Time
JOE BAGEANT, CounterPunch
June 13-15,
2008
http://www.counterpunch.org/bageant06132008.html
Late at night through my window by the computer I can see my neighbor
Stokes bicycling at 10 pm to the local convenience store to buy groceries. Not
only is that an expensive way to feed one's self, but it is the only way for old
Stokes to cop some grubs without getting thrown in jail. Seriously. As a
convicted sex offender, he is not allowed to come in proximity with young women
in a supermarket checkout line. Nor is he allowed to visit a park, or even his
own grandchild, even though he is not a child molester by the court's own
admission. He is not allowed to drink a beer. In fact, he is not even allowed to
read Playboy Magazine.
A dozen or so years ago Stokes, now 66 with a
gray ponytail, an altogether gentle soul who labors under the illusion he looks
like Willie Nelson, (and even has a framed photo of Willie on his wall to invite
comparison). Got caught by police in a, shall we say, "a vehicular sexual
incident" with a married woman. They were both drunk, big deal. That happens in
beer joints. To make a long story short, by the time they got to court the
lady's testimony was that it was all against her will, which being a married
woman, solved a lot of problems for her. That resulted in Stokes being convicted
as a sex offender while his public defender all but slept through the
trial.
To make matters worse, Stokes had an unregistered handgun stashed
in his car. Stupid, I know, but rednecks are often like that, and I'd be willing
to bet there are more unregistered handguns guns than registered ones around
here. This may horrify urban liberals, but legal or not, it is the common
practice of tens of thousands of people down here in the southern climes of our
great nation. Not to mention common nationwide to many thousands more cab
drivers, night clerks, hotel parking valets, bill collectors, repo men, single
women and god only knows how many others. At any rate, thanks to the gun which
he never touched, Stokes was prosecuted for armed abduction for sexual purposes,
and did ten years.
He's been out for years now. But he was released into
an entirely different world than he left -- one which seems scripted by Adam
Smith and Hanging Judge Roy Bean. As a convicted felon, he has been released
from prison to serve a new sentence … to serve time as a profit center for our
economy. In truth, he has been one from the day he was charged.
First
off, he was a profit center for the prison where he served his time. Now it is
fairly common knowledge that America's burgeoning system of privatized prisons,
"super jails," and related services has been a boon for corporations such as
Corrections Corporation of America, Geo Group (formerly Wackenhut Corrections
Corp.) and their investors. Prisoner leasing programs such as Florida's which
rents out prison labor for less than 50 cents an hour to private industry in the
name of "job training," make building more prisons an attractive option for
state governments and investors. It also makes recidivism desirable, since it
assures the prison labor pool. Somewhere between 1% and 2% of Americans are
behind bars, locked up at any given time, and as many more on probation or under
state monitoring, obviously capitalist style punishment is a solid financial
investment.
Now I am not about to screech here that our prison system is
anywhere near that created by Uncle Joe Stalin. We do not have nine million
people in it and we do not get sent there for being late for work at the
factory, our factories having been outsourced. However, after 1929 Stalin's
prison camps were transformed to an economic machine. And in order to fulfill
the camps' economic goals, more and more prisoners were required, just as more
prisoners are required to fulfill the investor goals of Corrections Corporation
of America, Geo Group. In any case, convictions are profitable and the more of
them there are the more money both private interests and the state take in.
That in itself is way the hell past just being strange. But throw in the
term sex offender and get on the registered sex offender list (which seems to be
mostly filled with Johns who solicited prostitutes, though you'd never know it
by the way they name the offense) and it all gets really weird. Chilling even.
This is partly because of the taboo and stigma associated, but mostly for the
bizarre monitoring rules, and the money involved in enforcement. For example
Stokes, must pay a couple hundred a month for counseling, group therapy and so
on, until they tell him he can stop doing so. This therapy mainly amounts to
listening to the stories of more serious offenders such as child molesters even
though he is not one, but being treated by law as if he were. Such is the fate
of being legally shackled to any of dozens of types of "certified sex offender
treatment providers," an ever expanding industry they tell me.
He also
must pay for registration as an offender, blood, saliva, fingerprints, palm
prints, police registration of his internet address (within 30 minutes of
obtaining it) and so on with the Department of State Police and the Sex
Offenders Registry, providing a new photo, address, etc., for 10 years,
effectively the rest of Stokes' life, not to mention registering with the local
cops wherever he lives. After five years he may petition the court for relief
from having to re-register monthly. He cannot leave the state. He is supposed to
inform employers of his status as a sex offender.
So he cannot get a normal
job and subsists on handyman work. In the end he generates about $400 a month
for one post-incarceration entity or another, whether he has a job or
not.
Stokes's designated handlers tell him that the system would smile
upon him if he would get more formal 8-5 employment, something that could be
more easily tracked and taxed. Would that it were so easy for a 66-year-old man
in this country. So he replies, "I'm retired dammit. I got the same right to
live on my social security, if I can manage to, as anyone else."
Yes, but
it's not much of a life for someone who once worked a skilled job setting up
lights and stage gear in large arenas and performance venues. Now he lives in a
basement workshop of an overcrowded apartment building/rooming house, in a space
that is supposed to pass for an apartment but doesn't even come close. For that
privilege he pays $600 a month, and is allowed to work off part of it off by the
landlord as a handyman.
Stokes tells me he could get out from under much
of this by, and here's the legal wording, "satisfying the court's criteria for
clear and convincing evidence that due to his physical condition the person no
longer poses a menace to the health and safety of others."
"You could cut
your dick off," I suggested.
"Sometimes I wish I had," he
sighs.
In any case, I am pretty dammed convinced parole is a racket, just
like incarceration has become a racket, just as everything in this whole
goddamned country is a racket in disguise, from home mortgages to health care.
If it is vital to ordinary citizens, it's a racket. But fear is the biggest
racket of all. Even our rightful fear of sex offenders gets harnessed to the
objectives of the corporate and political elites, woven into the weft and warp
of the national delusion we call "the fabric of our society." The freedom loving
one that currently has 2.2 million of its own citizens locked up and another 2
million walking around under strict post-incarceration supervision and
monitoring.
At this writing there are supposed to be 117 registered sex
offenders in this burg of 24,000 from which I write, Winchester, Virginia, yet
only 61 in the surrounding county which has a population of 73,000. Let me make
a wild speculation here and say there may be a difference in the way justice is
administered in the two localities.
As if Stokes' needed to catch any
more bad breaks, Stokes' situation got worse. It seems he had the outrageous
gall to get himself a dog. Stokes came upon a rather large black female mutt
recently, who looked like she had a little retriever in her, according to
Stokes, though I could never see it. She was bone skinny, partially blind and
being neglected and abused by an old alcoholic woman down the
street.
That dog, named Beulah, just loved Stokes. He lovingly fed he,
and she stayed by his side constantly and obediently. But she kept getting
skinnier and skinnier no matter how much he fed her. For a while we speculated
it was worms, but I've seen enough dogs to know something worse was at work.
Stokes spent money he didn't have on expensive worm medicine. But he surely did
not have $150 for a vet and tests and in a nation where uninsured folks are let
to die slowly because they cannot pay cash, there was damned sure no more mercy
for dogs.
Mercy too has been privatized and costs money. Meanwhile old
Beulah is hanging out in the back yard in a friendly fashion, wreak and sick as
he is, sniffing and getting petted by all who come her way. Dogs are like that.
Uncomplaining and decent unto death. I've had several who passed that way. She
was old and getting ready top die, sure as god made little green apples. Broke
as Stokes is, this was certainly was not going to be a veterinarian administered
death, with a canine Kevorkian attending. And being a paroled felon, for damned
sure Stokes was not going to produce a gun and shoot her, which is the way old
dogs such as we saw animals put out of misery back in our day.
A
situation like that is bound to draw the animal control officer's attention and
rightfully so given the outward appearance of the situation. So Stokes was
busted. An examination showed that Beulah had diabetes. Seems they'll get a vet
to examine a dog to get a conviction but not to save a dog's life. Whereupon
Stokes was charged with animal abuse by the animal control office of our city
police department. "You should never have let that dog get in this condition;
you should have taken her to a veterinarian!" Now Stokes has a court appearance
on the docket for animal cruelty. And of course no money for a lawyer. That's
where the compassion of a lonely old man for another sentient being will get
you. Smack dab in the jaws of our justice system.
I hold middle class
America responsible for this deformed thing we now call justice. And I've wanted
to write an article about the sex abuse crime industry scam in this country, and
proposed it to several magazines. Every one of them said that sex abusers are
too unsympathetic as characters for them to publish. I pointed out that these
are real people, not characters in a fictional work. The editors added that they
were afraid the public might mistake such a story as being supportive of real
sex offenders.
Governments and states exist to control people, and for no
other reason. If justice is achieved somewhere in the process, it's an added
bonus. But control above all else is necessary for modern civilization to exist.
Population grows by the minute, increasing social pressure on
humanity.
More rules and more control are required to keep order. Order
is defined as the way we think others should behave – or imagine them to
misbehave. We support the state's police machinery and massive incarceration of
our fellow citizens, so long as they are being imprisoned for the right reasons.
They should pay. Every action in a capitalist world must produce money. So they
should pay in cash.
Last week I was in Minneapolis, and spent a couple of
nights getting drunk with a friend, an apartment building owner, who in his
younger years
did hard time for burglary. Things were somewhat different
then, he avowed. In the fifties and sixties a prisoner may or may not have
worked off his "debt to society." But in these times, he says, "The system
demands that you just deliver payment in cash. It's more efficient. But not
fundamentally different. Back then, the rich still profited for our crimes more
than we did. We stole $10,000 worth of stuff. Next day in the paper we found
that the guy we burglarized claimed it $30,000 worth for insurance purposes.
Getting robbed was a winning situation for him. He made 20-K on us."
It's
also is a wining situation for the 20 percent of Americans in what we call the
middle class – those actually living the middle class life as advertised by the
commercial and financial state's marketing department. It works well for Stokes'
psychologist, his piss tester, his lie detector service contractor, the people
with the sex offender website contract, and all good citizens with investments
on Wall Street. The psychologist needs money to send his kid on the private
school trip to Italy this summer. The contractor providing the sex abuser
services just built a summer down on the Eastern Shore of Virginia. The state
police officer running the sex abuser monitoring program will retire in six
years – his investments need to earn another $50,000 in that time…
But
hold on!
Honest to God, as I conclude writing this -- and I swear on a
stack of friggin Bibles -- a police prowl car and two of the department's animal
control officers in a police truck just parked in front of Stokes' place across
my driveway. They get out and after rifling through some papers on a clipboard
and talking on cell phones.
Now they have walked over to Stokes' back
door. He comes out and they sit him down in a lawn chair while they stand over
him, hands on hips, lips moving under dark sunglasses. And the neighbors are all
peeking out their blinds, watching the cops accost the registered sex offender
(once he was on the internet registry, word got around here fast). They are
probably looking at the animal control officers' truck and thinking: "Oh my
gawd! Bestiality too?)
Anyway you look at it, this cannot be good. Not
for Stokes, not for you or me or anyone else less than enamored with the idea of
a police state.
And Stokes? As he told me only yesterday, "I'm a goddamned
magnet for bad luck."
No he's not. He's just one more anonymous human
profit center to be squeezed, one more grape to be crushed in a grotesque blood
and money press that has no mercy. ++
Joe Bageant is author of the
book, Deer Hunting With Jesus: Dispatches from America's Class War. (Random
House Crown), about working class America. He is also a contributor to Red State
Rebels: Tales of Grassroots Resistance from the Heartland (AK Press). A complete
archive of his on-line work, along with the thoughts of many working Americans
on the subject of class may be found on ColdType and Joe Bageant's website, http://www.joebageant.com.
Food For Thought
A Collection of Heretical Notions and
Wretched Adages
Jack Tourette, JunkFoodForThought
http://www.junkfoodforthought.com/long/Sacks_Reagan.htm
"The
President's Speech" from The Man who Mistook his Wife for a Hat by Oliver Sacks,
1985:
What was going on? A roar of laughter from the aphasia ward, just
as the President's speech was coming on, and they had all been so eager to hear
the President speaking...
There he was, the old Charmer, the Actor, with
his practised rhetoric, his histrionisms, his emotional appeal - and all the
patients were convulsed with laughter. Well, not all: some looked bewildered,
some looked outraged, one or two looked apprehensive, but most looked amused.
The President was, as always, moving - but he was moving them, apparently,
mainly to laughter. What could they be thinking? Were they failing to understand
him? Or did they, perhaps, understand him all too well?
It was often
said of these patients, who though intelligent had the severest receptive or
global aphasia, rendering them incapable of understanding words as such, that
they none the less understood most of what was said to them. Their friends,
their relatives, the nurses who knew them well, could hardly believe, sometimes,
that they were aphasic.
This was because, when addressed naturally, they
grasped some or most of the meaning. And one does speak 'naturally', naturally.
Thus, to demonstrate their aphasia, one had to go to extraordinary
lengths, as a neurologist, to speak and behave un-naturally, to remove all the
extraverbal cues - tone of voice, intonation, suggestive emphasis or inflection,
as well as all visual cues (one's expressions, one's gestures, one's entire,
largely unconscious, personal repertoire and posture): one had to remove all of
this (which might involve total concealment of one's person, and total
depersonalisation of one's voice, even to using a computerised voice
synthesiser) in order to reduce speech to pure words, speech totally devoid of
what Frege called 'tone-colour' (Klangenfarben) or 'evocation'. With the most
sensitive patients, it was only with such a grossly artificial, mechanical
speech - somewhat like that of the computers in Star Trek - that one could be
wholly sure of their aphasia.
Why all this? Because speech - natural
speech - does not consist of words alone, nor (as Hughlings Jackson thought)
'propositions' alone. It consists of utterance - an uttering-forth of one's
whole meaning with one's whole being - the understanding of which involves
infinitely more than mere word-recognition. And this was the clue to aphasiacs'
understanding, even when they might be wholly uncomprehending of words as such.
For though the words, the verbal constructions, per se, might convey nothing,
spoken language is normally suffused with 'tone', embedded in an expressiveness
which transcends the verbal - and it is precisely this expressiveness, so deep,
so various, so complex, so subtle, which is perfectly preserved in aphasia,
though understanding of words be destroyed. Preserved - and often more:
preternaturally enhanced...
This too becomes clear - often in the most
striking, or comic, or dramatic way - to all those who work or live closely with
aphasiacs: their families or friends or nurses or doctors. At first, perhaps, we
see nothing much the matter; and then we see that there has been a great change,
almost an inversion, in their understanding of speech. Something has gone, has
been devastated, it is true - but something has come, in its stead, has been
immensely enhanced, so that - at least with emotionally-laden utterance - the
meaning may be fully grasped even when every word is missed. This, in our
species Homo loquens, seems almost an inversion of the usual order of things: an
inversion, and perhaps a reversion too, to something more primitive and
elemental. And this perhaps is why Hughlings Jackson compared aphasiacs to dogs
(a comparison that might outrage both!) though when he did this he was chiefly
thinking of their linguistic incompetences, rather than their remarkable, and
almost infallible, sensitivity to 'tone' and feeling. Henry Head, more sensitive
in this regard, speaks of 'feeling-tone' in his (1926) treatise on aphasia, and
stresses how it is preserved, and often enhanced, in aphasiacs.*
*
'Feeling-tone' is a favourite term of Head's, which he uses in regard not only
to aphasia but to the affective quality of sensation, as it may be altered by
thalmic or peripheral disorders. Our impression, indeed, is that Head is
continually half-unconsciously drawn towards the exploration of 'feeling-tone' -
towards, so to speak, a neurology of feeling-tone, in contrast or
complementarity to a classical neurology of proposition and process. It is,
incidentally, a common term in the U.S.A., at least among blacks in the South: a
common, earthy and indispensable term. 'You see, there's such a thing as a
feeling tone...And if you don't have this, baby, you've had it' (cited by Studs
Terkel as epigraph to his 1967 oral history Division Street: America).
Thus the feeling I sometimes have - which all of us who work closely
with aphasiacs have - that one cannot lie to an aphasiac. He cannot grasp your
words, and so cannot be deceived by them; but what he grasps he grasps with
infallible precision, namely the expression that goes with the words, that
total, spontaneous, involuntary expressiveness which can never be simulated or
faked, as words alone can, all too easily...
We recognise this with
dogs, and often use them for this purpose - to pick up falsehood, or malice, or
equivocal intentions, to tell us who can be trusted, who is integral, who makes
sense, when we - so susceptible to words - cannot trust our own instincts.
And what dogs can do here, aphasiacs do too, and at a human and
immeasurably superior level. 'One can lie with the mouth,' Nietzsche writes,
'but with the accompanying grimace one nevertheless tells the truth.' To such a
grimace, to any falsity or impropriety in bodily appearance or posture,
aphasiacs are preternaturally sensitive. And if they cannot see one - this is
especially true of our blind aphasiacs - they have an infallible ear for every
vocal nuance, the tone, the rhythm, the cadences, the music, the subtlest
modulations, inflections, intonations, which can give - or remove -
verisimilitude to or from a man's voice.
In this, then, lies their power
of understanding - understanding, without words, what is authentic or
inauthentic. Thus it was the grimaces, the histrionisms, the false gestures and,
above all, the false tones and cadences of the voice, which rang false for these
wordless but immensely sensitive patients. It was to these (for them) most
glaring, even grotesque, incongruities and improprieties that my aphasic
patients responded, undeceived and undeceivable by words.
This is why
they laughed at the President's speech.
If one cannot lie to an
aphasiac, in view of his special sensitivity to expression and 'tone', how is
it, we might ask, with patients - if there are such - who lack any sense of
expression and 'tone', while preserving, unchanged, their comprehension for
words: patients of an exactly opposite kind? We have a number of such patients,
also on the aphasia ward, although, technically, they do not have aphasia, but,
instead, a form of agnosia, in particular a so-called 'tonal' agnosia. For such
patients, typically, the expressive qualities of voices disappear - their tone,
their timbre, their feeling, their entire character - while words (and
grammatical constructions) are perfectly understood. Such tonal agnosias (or
'atonias') are associated with disorders of the right temporal lobe of the
brain, whereas the aphasias go with disorders of the left temporal lobe.
Among the patients with tonal agnosia on our aphasia ward who also
listened to the President's speech was Emily D. , with a glioma in her right
temporal lobe. A former English teacher, and poetess of some repute, with an
exceptional feeling for language, and strong powers of analysis and expression,
Emily D. was able to articulate the opposite situation - how the President's
speech sounded to someone with tonal agnosia. Emily D. could no longer tell if a
voice was angry, cheerful, sad - whatever. Since voices now lacked expression,
she had to look at people's faces, their postures and movements when they
talked, and found herself doing so with a care, an intensity , she had never
shown before. But this, it so happened, was also limited, because she had a
malignant glaucoma, and was rapidly losing her sight too.
What she then
found she had to do was to pay extreme attention to exactness of words and word
use, and to insist that those around her did just the same. She could less and
less follow loose speech or slang - speech of an allusive or emotional kind -
and more and more required of her interlocutors that they speak prose - 'proper
words in proper places'. Prose, she found, might compensate, in some degree; for
lack of perceived tone or feeling.
In this way she was able to preserve,
even enhance, the use of 'expressive' speech - in which the meaning was wholly
given by the apt choice and reference of words - despite being more and more
lost with 'evocative' speech (where meaning is wholly given in the use and sense
of tone).
Emily D. also listened, stony-faced, to the President's
speech, bringing to it a strange mixture of enhanced and defective perceptions -
precisely the opposite mixture to those of our aphasiacs. It did not move her -
no speech now moved her - and all that was evocative, genuine or false
completely passed her by. Deprived of emotional reaction, was she then (like the
rest of us) transported or taken in? By no means. 'He is not cogent,' she said.
'He does not speak good prose. His word-use is improper. Either he is brain-
damaged, or he has something to conceal.' Thus the President's speech did not
work for Emily D. either, due to her enhanced sense of formal language use,
propriety as prose, any more than it worked for our aphasiacs, with their
word-deafness but enhanced sense of tone.
Here then was the paradox of
the President's speech. We normals - aided, doubtless, by our wish to be fooled,
were indeed well and truly fooled ('Populus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur'). And
so cunningly was deceptive word-use combined with deceptive tone, that only the
brain-damaged remained intact, undeceived. ++
Empathy deficit
disorder -- do you suffer from it?
Amanda Robb from "O, The Oprah
Magazine," via CNN
April 2008
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/06/18/o.empathy/index.html
Story Highlights
People learn basics of
empathy in childhood from parents
Expert: Lack of empathy, values behind war
and divorce
A first step to becoming empathetic is faking it to comfort other
person
I swear on the "Thelma & Louise" video we watched into a
scratchy oblivion: I didn't mean to be the worst friend ever. When Lisa -- my
roommate and boon companion of three years --stepped into our apartment, sank to
the floor, and clutched our cocker spaniel, I asked, "What's wrong?" with
sympathy.
"I got fired," Lisa told me.
"Wow." I pulled her to her
feet. "You'll have an amazing story for Jim's party tonight!"
Lisa's eyes
went round and wet as the dog's when we left her at the vet. She said, "Come on,
Maya" (who gave me a reproachful glance before obeying), disappeared into her
bedroom (for three days), and never discussed career matters with me
again.
Boy, was I annoyed. At age 26, I was a sublime friend. Lisa, also
26, was blessed to have an ally so honest about dates and hairstyles, so
fiercely supportive of her dreams, and willing to defend her choices (the dates,
hairstyles, and dreams) to her habitually nettling mom and dad. Never once in
our relationship, I was proud to think, had I ever even been tempted to commit a
single mortal friendship sin: being competitive, gossiping, or
backstabbing.
To me, Lisa's job loss was no big deal. She had complained
about the position. Her parents were rich and gave her money. She had nothing to
worry about. I thought that reminding her we had something fun to do that night
was an appropriate and kind response.
Psychologist Douglas LaBier, Ph.D.,
director and founder of the Center for Adult Development in Washington, D.C.,
disagrees. He explained to me that my dearest friend was humiliated by receiving
a pink slip, feared she might be incompetent at everything she tried, and,
because of me, felt utterly alone. I was, LaBier tells me, "catastrophically
unempathetic" to Lisa.
At the heart of many
problems
Today, 15 years later, I know why my attempt at
consoling my friend was so ham-fisted. As LaBier explains, virtually everyone
learns the basics of empathy in childhood (from our parents comforting us when
we're in distress), but my father died when I was 4, and afterward my mother had
to be very can-do, juggling three jobs, graduate school, and two kids. When I
was upset, she never said, "Oh, I'm sorry. It must be hard to have me away so
much after losing your dad."
Instead, on good days, she'd say, "Why are
you crying? Nothing is wrong." And on bad days: "You'd better toughen up because
life can get a lot worse." Looking back at my 20-something self, I realize that
if, as LaBier says, empathy is "the ability or the willingness to experience the
world from someone else's point of view," I wasn't brought up to be able to do
that.
At least my lack of empathy was not unusual. Having practiced as a
psychotherapist for 35 years, LaBier believes that what he calls empathy deficit
disorder (EDD) is rampant among Americans.
LaBier says we unlearn
whatever empathy skills we've picked up while coming of age in a culture that
focuses on acquisition and status more than cooperation and values "moving on"
over thoughtful reflection. LaBier is convinced that EDD is at the heart of
modernity's most common problems, macro (war) and micro (divorce).
When
Lisa crept into her bedroom, I couldn't have articulated any of this. She might
have felt abandoned, but all I knew was that I felt alone. My roommate had her
dog, and they were both shunning me, and my boyfriend of four years wouldn't
rescue me from the loneliness I increasingly felt by agreeing to get married. I
went into psychotherapy.
Faking it a step to becoming
empathetic
I thought my therapist would help me break up with my
commitment-phobic lover, figure out how to choose less sensitive friends, and,
of course, let me rant about my mother's shortcomings. I did get to rant --
about my mom, Lisa, and my boyfriend.
What surprised me was my
therapist's response to these tirades. She never said, "Leave that rotten
bastard." Or "Your roommate is a big baby." Instead she said, "Gosh, that sounds
really hard." And, "That must have felt terrible." And, "How did you feel after
that happened?" My reaction to those spectacularly bland comments was even more
astonishing. I loved them.
"These very simple responses make you feel
understood," says New York psychologist Frank M. Lachmann, Ph.D., author of
"Transforming Narcissism: Reflections on Empathy, Humor, and
Expectations."
He points out that many of the common responses -- "It
could be worse"; "You should do X"; "Let's talk about something else" -- appear
to be kind and aimed at soothing. But no matter how well intentioned, Lachmann
says, these remarks are a rejection, a denial, of what the other person is going
through. "They are code for 'Don't confront me with things that are
unpleasant,'" he says. "Or 'Don't bother me with your pain.'"
About six
months into psychotherapy, I started using what I thought of as my therapist's
"lines."
When Lisa was offered a job at an organization she did not want
to work at, I said, "Oh, that's a tough spot to be in." When my boyfriend was
invited to study abroad, I said, "How do you feel about that?" What I really
felt was: "Lisa, that job pays a ton of money, but I guess you can turn it down
because your parents are loaded." And, "You selfish bastard, I'll kill you if
you go to Europe without me."
Still, Lachmann says, I had taken the first
step to becoming empathetic -- which is faking it. If you want to act more
empathetic, you follow certain steps: Instead of telling people what they ought
to do or becoming tyrannically optimistic, you offer sympathy, inquire about
feelings, and validate those feelings. You'll be giving comfort to the other
person, even if you yourself can't feel what they're going through.
It's
true that for a long time, while I could say the appropriate thing, I could not
relate to their struggles. Still, I took satisfaction in the fact that my
relationships were improving. Then a year after starting therapy, I began
feeling something intensely when comforting friends: terror.
This turned
out to be a signal, Lachmann says, that I was actually feeling
empathy.
Final insult
I didn't recognize it
because I'd always run from emotional discomfort -- and, at least in the
beginning, I found trying to be empathetic profoundly uncomfortable. Most of the
time, I managed to avoid the impulse to blurt out unhelpful suggestions to my
friends -- "Happy hour, anyone?" Or, "Here's the number for a credit
consolidator!" -- and instead say the appropriate thing. But for years and
years, I could stand genuine empathy only five minutes at a time.
For
those five minutes, though, I was not alone. And once I had experienced the
wonder of that, I was willing to stumble out of my comfort zone to try to be not
alone again.
Virtually everything I have ever tried to improve about
myself -- my weight, my sleep habits, my housecleaning -- has resulted in an
endless seesaw of improvement. But empathy, I've learned, is not like dieting.
(Or, at least, how I diet, which involves ending up back at square one.)
Cultivating empathy has its own rewards: The more you do it, the better
your relationships are and the more you want to continue.
Feeling
understood in that therapist's office taught me that human beings are not doomed
to be alone -- and empathy is life's connective tissue. If you have a romantic
partner, he or she will someday believe that you are entirely wrong about
something, and if you can see the problem from your partner's point of view,
you'll be able to get through that conflict without smoldering in the corner or
splitting up.
If you work with someone you despise (and who despises you
back), and you try to understand why that person dislikes you, then you stand a
chance of not hating every minute with her at the office. If you live in a world
that you would like to see less divided by ethnic, economic, and religious
strife, you'll find that attempting to comprehend the needs of your sworn
enemies is a prerequisite to any meaningful action you can take.
Empathy
will also require you to get past rationalizations and admit
wrongdoing.
For about a decade after I started working to be more
empathetic, I told myself that I hadn't hurt Lisa too badly because she never
told me I had. But Lachmann points out that the final insult of being treated
with a lack of empathy is that the hurt person usually can't complain. "If you
say, 'That was such an unempathetic thing to say,' it can easily be heard as,
'Feel sorry for me.' And no one wants to be pathetic." So most people don't say
anything, Lachmann says, and relationships "are often ruptured and
ruined."
Lisa and I are no longer close. We live on opposite coasts. We
have very different lives. But still, I couldn't bear the idea of us being
"ruptured and ruined." I recently called her and said I was sorry for being
selfish when she lost her job. I said I had eventually learned that it must have
been a terrible time for her and that I had made it worse by leaving her so
alone with all her confusion. Lisa was gracious ("You did your best"), forgiving
("Really, you were a wonderful friend to me overall"), and honest ("It was 15
years ago, and I'm over it now"). She changed the subject, and we caught up on
our summer plans.
Her family -- along with the cocker spaniel, Maya, who
was still alive and giving reproachful looks -- was planning a camping trip.
Packing up, Lisa realized none of her jeans fit. Her pregnancies had stripped
every curve from her body. She was skinny as a post. I began to wail,
"Oh my
God, you lucky rat! I gained 10 pounds ... "
But then I stopped myself.
"Um. So how does it feel to have to buy new jeans?" I asked.
There was a
silence on the line. Then Lisa started laughing. "Wonderful," she said.
"Absolutely wonderful." ++
Senator Dodd's speech on the
Senate floor
http://dodd.senate.gov/index.php?q=node/4476
"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you
forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous,
ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce.
And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good
fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
~
Molly Ivins, 1944 - 2007
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