ok by the way..I'm Sandy. and I don't tell many people that I have
bipolar, am on medication, or have been hospitalized. And here's why.
The other night I was at my boyfriend's house having dinner with his
family when after dinner my daughter whom i don't have custody of came
up as a topic of conversation. So it was me, my boyfriend, his mom, and
her boyfriend discussing how i get joint custody of my four year
daughter, kennedy. So I they tell me I need to get a job. ok that is a
given. next they ask well are you on any medication or do you a
psychiatric disorder. awww. so i test the water . and tell them i live
with my brother who is bipolar and my mother lives downstairs from me
and she is a lesbian. they say my brother being bipolar might be a
problem. why? now do you see why only my boyfriend, a few (close)
friends, and my ex husband's family know. just imagine if they knew.
and you just imagine how hard it was for me to bite my tongue.   and It
also really shouldn't make a difference what my mom's sexual preference
is . The only reason I even live at home is because I haven't found a
job yet that makes it so I can move on my own. what is it with people.
and when i brought this up to my boyfriend later on . he acted like it
was nothing and continued watching tv. when it was really bothering me.
 although I start nursing school soon, but even there i won't be able
to tell the whole truth, if you have cancer you can, but mental illness
nope it better stay in the shadows almost like you are hiding behind a
mask. hope to hear other thoughts on this. and thanxs for reading my
vent.

Sandy, One of my favorite quotes by Oscar Wilde is: "The greatest
ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about". Unfortunately
there are those out there that don't understand that mental illness is
not a chosen behaviour. Your boyfriend saying nothing is better than
him saying something stupid I guess. My husband has a tendancy to do
that on occasion. But since when started reading my books on BP. He
seems to be a lot more understanding. Education on this disorder solves
a lot of problems.  Someone I knew said something totally out of line
with me due to misguided information about BP. When I gently told her
that she was not well informed enough to make the comment that she did,
she replied "I guess ignorance is bliss" (I've always hated that line)
So I replied, "Then get a book". I'm sorry that you or anyone else
including myself has to endure stupid remarks or judgements. But how we
react to them is a behaviour that takes control, but can be done. Take
care you! North Polar Skip

Thanxs for your reply. It helps to know I am not alone in this. Its
just frustrating. That people who are not psychs , who don't live with
it on a daily basis, and know me , but don't know I have bipolar think
they can make judgements and my boyfriend just sat there as I bit my
tongue and when I asked him about it later he acted like it was
nothing. Well it is something to me. Personally,  I wish my boyfriend
would do what your husband has done and read at least an article on
bipolar and one on the stigma I face. Then he'll see why only certain
people who  know me know i'm bipolar( you may be my closest friend and
I still may not have told you)(yeah i also have trust issues(thanx my
exhusband for that one) and why I have been in this mixed mood for
week, but am afraid to go for help out of fear that if i ever go to
court for my daughter it would look worse if my medication had
increased. Ok back on topic, I love those quotes. I just wish people
would think before they say something about something(get my
drift).......well hopefully, you'll comment back it gets lonely being
me. and take care for now.

                     Sandy

Hey girl, When you're cycling you do feel lonely and I don't know about
you, but I isolate myself from almost everyone (outside my husband and
son) except for my best friend. My other friends would prefer not to
know how bad it gets. I can understand and accept that. I had this
friend who has fibromyalgia and that's all she ever wanted to talk
about. If you tried to cheer her up she'd just play the pity card and
the "why am I not as important to you as others are?" I told my best
friend to knock the shit out of me if I ever acted like that. So when I
have a sucky couple days or week, I wait for the "tweak" med thing to
kick in, before I make myself accessible to those that don't or won't
understand.
     Going back to your deal though, get help with your meds.. It's a
far worse thing for your ex. to see you in a mixed episode state. It
shows that you are a responsible mother if (mind you "if") someone
finds out that you had to adjust your meds. Did your ex make you scared
of this? Please don't worry. I'd make sure talking to your pdoc your
1st concern. You can't think as clear anyway when your in a mixed
state. Let me know what happens. Email me if you like. Pullin for
you,North Polar Skip

Skip,
   I know what your talking about. When my fiancée is cycling, he isolates himself from everyone and everything. He's at the moment just trying to get out of a depression after a weekend of being manic and drinking. He was so sick but what's it going to take for him to understand what this is doing to him, not to mention our relationship? He's finally going to go to a Dual Diagnosis meeting soon. Please tell me that this will help him better understand himself, because he has questioned that. He also told me that he thinks that maybe he's being overmedicated or that the antidepressants that he's taking is not working. He's taking Wellbutrin SR. He also takes Depakote and something else that I can't remember at this time. I'm not sure why he thinks that, can you tell me because I am at a lost and don't know what to say other than for him to talk to his pdoc. By the way, he missed that appointment because of his episode that he went through and of course the drinking did not help any. Right now I am at a lost and still not sure if he will be going to these meetings but I am looking for something to hang on to, mostly looking for hope!

Sandra