Different types of government

[Matt Ledgerwood]

as explained by reference to cows.*

FEUDALISM
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with
everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The
government gives you all the milk you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of
the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government
gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of
them, sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM
You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all
share the milk.

REAL WORLD COMMUNISM
You share two cows with your neighbours. You and your neighbours bicker
about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile,
no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes
all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the
black market.

PERESTROIKA
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all
the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can sell it on the "free"
market.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

MILITARIANISM
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

TOTALITARIANISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed.
Milk is banned.

PURE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. You neighbours decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the
milk.

BRITISH DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The
government doesn't do anything.

BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed
them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then
it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the
drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing
cows.

PURE ANARCHY
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your
neighbours try to take the cows and kill you.

PURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

CAPITALISM
You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows,
because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.

ENVIRONMENTALISM
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of phallo
centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less
valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica
lessons

*Note, anyone trying to reply to this in a sensible manner explaining why it
is wrong shall be immediately thought of as silly and not worth listening to.

matt l.

[ChrissyR]

Matt Ledgerwood wrote

Or do you mean that anyone trying to reply to this is a sensible manner,
explaining whi it is wrong, shall be immediately thought of as a silly old cow?

Chrissy.