cnvc and gcc meetings

[Milli]

Hello All

Wow I can so relate to the uneasiness of attending the GCC meetings,
I've listened to a few and they really met a need to know, connect and
understand. I'm now more willing to attend as trust is there that they
are growing and learning like us all. Unfortunately they are at 4am in
Australia.

I wonder what happened to Emma, anyone know? I had made a request and
am left wondering.

enjoy from Milli

Hi Dori,

I hope your headache goes away soon. I'm glad you keep the
conversation going. Now, that you mention it, I notice that I too have
a need for transparency and clarity not being met concerning the GCC
and CNVC. At the same time I'm aware of invitations to teleconferences
and I never attended one as an observer. I have this jackal that I
might be disturbing things or be required to do something I don't
want... actually it's a jackal about "official meetings" and that I
have no space there, because nobody would be open to my contribution.
That I'd have to prove something before I'd be trusted. So there's a
need for openness and space, to be seen with my resources and
contribution. I could put that to the test, actually...
I want to share this in order to check, whether you or somebody else
in the group shares this. Looking forward to replies.

Greetings
Niklas

[Dori]

Hi Niklas and Milli,

I'm writing comments interspersed between what you wrote.

Niklas wrote:
>I'm glad you keep the > conversation going.

Thank you. I'm really glad to hear this. I've been looking for people
with whom I could have this conversation, and have it in an NVC
attitude.

>Now, that you mention it, I notice that I too have > a need for transparency and clarity not being met concerning the GCC > and CNVC.

Ditto. The only thing was that I had tried having conversations with a
few people in the CNVC and had not been able to meet my need for
connection. However, I haven't tried yet with the GCC.

>At the same time I'm aware of invitations to teleconferences > and I never attended one as an observer. I have this jackal that I > might be disturbing things or be required to do something I don't > want... actually it's a jackal about "official meetings" and that I > have no space there, because nobody would be open to my contribution. > That I'd have to prove something before I'd be trusted.

Yes, I have some similar stuff going on: fears, some resentment, enemy
images, frustration, and sadness, as well as chronic low energy. The
thought of figuring out how to attend a teleconference (time
difference, phone number, what could I say, agenda etc) leaves me
feeling overwhelmed and doesn't meet my needs for ease, enjoyment,
support, and probably something else that I don't know how to
identify.

>So there's a > need for openness and space, to be seen with my resources and > contribution. I could put that to the test, actually...> I want to share this in order to check, whether you or somebody else > in the group shares this. Looking forward to replies.

Yes, absolutely. I have a real longing to participate and to be seen
with my resources and ideas - I've wanted that for so long. For
instance. I'd love to see access to more "in depth" material e.g. on-
line videos of workshops, especially of Marshall working with people,
complete transcripts of empathy session/roll plays (I can explain why
I would like this), discussions of more subtle questions that can come
up re NVC.

Milli <hilarious.million...@gmail.com> wrote:

> Wow I can so relate to the uneasiness of attending the GCC meetings, > I've listened to a few and they really met a need to know, connect and
> understand. I'm now more willing to attend as trust is there that they > are growing and learning like us all. Unfortunately they are at 4am in
> Australia.

I'm so glad to know you've actually attended a couple, and that they
met your need to know, connect and understand. I feel, at least
somewhat, reassured. Would you be willing to comment on some of the
things you heard that were particularly meaningful to you?

I'd love to hear more from both of you. Perhaps we can support each
other in becoming more active in getting some of our needs met re NVC.

What do you think?

Dori

[Emma McCreary]

I didn't "go" anywhere. You are welcome to write me directly if you have a
request you want to ask me specifically. Emailing me is a more direct way to
get a response from me than posting here, as I go in and out of involvement
in online groups as activity in the rest of my life waxes and wanes.

I read your other post but I wasn't clear on what your request was or what
the needs you were hoping to get met with it, and you also seemed to say
anybody would do (which makes sense from an NVC perspective). So if there is
something still alive for you around me specifically could you restate it to
see if I can hear it more clearly, and if it is personal to me, would you be
willing to just email me directly?

Thanks,
Emma

[Niklas Wilkens]

Hey Dori,

sounds wonderful! We seemingly share the same fears and insecurities here. I'm sure we can support each other.

I'm also glad we can have this conversation and I want to use the occasion to say that I'm truely grateful for this group. The level of opennes and honesty seems to me to be very different from what I see in other groups online and offline. I call that "transconventional", which means to know and be in harmony with the intention of NVC, but without having to use the rules and formal conventions all the time. And that's exactly what I want.

Since you offered to outline why you'd like more detailed material by Marshall and his work, I invite you to do so. I share this desire, as everything that I have as material is really enriching and inspiring. So there definitely could be more.

Looking forward to the reply
Niklas
--
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Ideal für Modem und ISDN: http://www.gmx.net/de/go/smartsurfer

[Dori]

Hi Niklas,

Well, the first time I really UNDERSTOOD empathy was when I heard a CD
of Marshall doing a dialogue with someone in a group. I had a good
intellectual understanding of empathy already, but when I heard his
voice, I suddenly EXPERIENCED what it was. I think this was because I
had actually never had that experience before. I realized that empathy
is not something that one can understand just by reading about it or
talking about it with people who are not in that consciousness. I got
that we are 'embodied' beings and that if "a picture is worth a
thousand words" then "an experience is priceless".

I also realized that NVC is a state of consciousness, awareness, an
attitude - whatever, and that the "tools" like any tools can be used
in a "life alienating way" or a "life enhancing way".

I spent about 8 hours watching a set of Marshall's tapes last week,
and it was so enlightening. Marshall is the only person I've ever seen
who actually says there is no good or bad, explains what he means by
that, and then stands by it. It's only in the tapes that I've been
able to see some depth of how that actually works; I can see him
reacting to another person - I can see their glances,hear the pauses
and the tone of voice - these are real people having a real
conversation and I can see compassion in action and hear Marshall as
he explains different aspects that come up, and hear various questions
that people in the groups bring up.

This is very different than the dialogues that I find in the books
that are abridged and lack the twists and turns of most dialogues.

I'm going to post this now because some people are coming over in 30
minutes, but I'll write more, maybe tomorrow. I'm curious to hear your
response to what I've written so far.

Dori

[Susan L]

Dear Dori and Group

I've been following the Board and GCC as an observer for almost a year
and a half. I want to offer you empathy for unmet needs for
transparency and participation in the decisions that affect your
life. I also want to offer encouragement, both reassurance that you
can attend these meetings and only participate to the extent that is
comfortable for you, and also the hope that the grassroots will have a
meaningful voice in the not-too-distant future.

Pehaps you are aware that the GCC was created by CNVC at about the
time they committed to upgrading their website with the purpose of
defining the structure of the global network to facilitate
cooperation, communication, and the sharing of resources among
practitioners. That's not what it says in their vision/mission/aims,
but that's what it boils down to.

Early in the process, I became disillusioned with their efforts
because they didn't seem to be DOING anything, and they seemed very
reactionary in the sense of not being willing to grow and change with
the changing needs of the situation. In particular, I mourned that
they would not seat elected representation from the grassroots even
though there were sometimes more observers at the meetings than
members. When the certification process went on hold and stayed that
way, it appeared that CNVC was choking off development from the top,
too, and I really felt despair because of my love for this work and my
longing for its growth and longevity.

But in parallel with this, there was a groundswell from the five
language-time zone groups into which they had sorted the globe.
First, it was the German and French Circles that took matters into
their own hands and began to organize. Then, the Nordic-Baltic Circle
did the same, "for our own sake," according to Kirsten Kristensen, the
GCC-appointed functional leader of the former English-Western Circle,
even though they had no possibility or interest in connecting to the
GCC.

I treasure my connection with Kirsten for sharing her experience with
the Nordic-Baltic Circle and for encouraging the rest of us to assert
ourselves and organize, with or without CNVC and GCC. Kirsten
convened a committee made up of all those who had answered the GCC's
survey. I would describe that meeting as an implementation circle
since its membership was representation from major NVC organizations
such as BayNVC and BrooklynNVC as well as people like me who don't
even have a regular practice group. Due to the chaos of dealing with
global time zones and up to 30 people on the call, our first act was
to split the English-Western Circle into two groups: Americas (ESAC)
and Europe-Africa (EAC).

Europe-Africa had its first meeting a week ago, and they have
organized themselves into five regional circles. The important thing
here is that care is being taken FROM THE OUTSET to provide a double
link for each of those five: a coordinator elected by the EAC to the
regional circle, and a representative to the EAC elected by the
regional circle. And to ice the cake, CNVC certification was removed
from the criteria! After all, when dealing with places like Africa or
the southeastern USA where there are virtually no CNVC certified
trainers, it was clear even to the CNVC certified trainers among us
that they would be cutting off considerable talent by using CNVC
certification as a requirement. The Americas will meet for the first
time next week, and I am feeling very hopeful that we are finally
realizing our dream to build a partnership network.

While I realize that most people will want to hang back and see what
develops, I strongly urge members of this group who have a passion for
organizing to join the google discussion groups and attend the
meetings, even if you did not answer the survey and have no intention
of being active in the circle.

For Europe-Africa: groups.google.com/group/EACircle
For the Americas: groups.google.com/group/ESACircle

I urge you to contact me by personal email by clicking on my name if
you would like to be a part of a "satellite" helping circle I'm
forming. My purpose is to be able to provide any English-speaking
circle with a facilitator, note-taker, time-keeper, list moderator, or
other functional people upon request so that the members of the circle
can be free to bring full presence to their discussions. I am also
interested in hearing what comes up for you if you have a response to
this news that you would be willing to share here.

Peace and Love

Susan Livingston