Hi Kirstie,
I read an entertaining and informative book some years ago by a woman
who knew the original horse whisperer
and decided to study and write about the language and behaviors of
dogs. (The Dog Listener by Jan Fennell)
What she said really made sense, and it worked - astoundingly well
actually!
At the time my first dog was around 5 or 6 years old.
He didn't tear things up when I wasn't home, but was clearly anxious
until I returned.
He also did not follow commands very well - but I put that up to the
fact he'd lived as wild dog for over a year in the mountains of WV
from about age 1 to 2.
In the book, the woman explained that dogs are wired to think in
terms of who is "alpha" and therefore in charge.
When, in their own mind,s the dog is alpha if the human goes off
somewhere, the dog cannot rest because the humans is in their charge.
The book delineated 3 key ways to show your dog that YOU are alpha.
She also said that a dog being alpha in a human's world isn't fair to
them, nor safe - and I agree.
(I don't particularly like an uneven paradigm like that, in humans its
called dominance/submission and all too often its women who wind up on
the underside of that!
So, it took a little convincing that this paradigm, while not at all
appropriate in the human world, really holds up in the dog world.)
The 3 things that demonstrate who is alpha are:
1) Who eats first
2) Who enters a space first (and note that dogs seem to view all
transitions as entering - not exiting -for example, they are entering
outside when leaving home)
3) Who greets first
The suggestion I followed was to keep a small package of human snacks,
like those small fish-shaped cheddar crackers, near the dog's food.
Before feeding the dog anything - even a treat - I let him see me eat
something first.
The first few times I did this you could have knocked Tippy (my old
dog) over with a feather!
It was comical how flabbergasted he looked!
Up until then, it had been my habit up until then to feed him first,
and then eat my breakfast or dinner.
Although it was awkward, when coming or going, I'd enter or leave
first - then bring him behind on the leash.
I learned to command him to sit, to more easily accomplish this.
I have to admit I wasn't very good at doing the 3rd: "greet first.".
When I got home, he often ran enthusiastically to greet me.
It was hard for me to ignor him because I was so glad to see him,
too.
You're supposed to let 2 minutes pass at least, and ideally wait until
the dog stops trying to greet
- then you initiate the greeting as enthusiastically and long as you
want at that point.
I guess if the dog is in a crate, you ignor them for 2 minutes - which
feels like a very long time! - then initiate the greeting.
The changes in Tippy, after I implemented only the "eating first," and
"leaving first" were remarkable - and within a week!
When I returned home, he'd often be in the back bedroom sleeping,
instead of anxiously waiting at the door.
He also listened to me much, much better - always (well, to be honest,
usually - a squirrel in the vicinity could trump this!) coming when I
called.
I wish I had known all this when I first got Tippy, as it would have
saved him and me a lot of anxiety!
I hope this helps you with your dog.
Good Luck! ~ "Dakini"