News of the Weird, May 20, 2012

[Chuck Shepherd]

WEIRDNUZ.M267 (News of the Weird, May 20, 2012)
by Chuck Shepherd

Copyright 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

NOTE
The Lead Story last week in News of the Weird consisted of a
pair of high-tech auto items, one of which was a clever-enough
prank. Peugeot has denied that it is designing "mood" paint,
even in the experimental stage. I hate it when that happens.
It has happened so rarely in my history (fewer than 10 times
in 23-plus years, that I know of) that I ought not get upset
about it, but I do. I long to be able to blame someone else,
anyone, for the misjudgment, but tragically, no such person
exists. Regret the error.

Lead Story

* Britain's ITV1 television network announced plans in April to
accept "prop placements" to blend into production of its new reality
talent show in which actors compete for the lead role in the musical
"Jesus Christ Superstar." The network said, for example, that it was
seeking coffee machines, which piqued the interest of the De'Longhi
brand manager, which offered its top-of-the-line Magnifica
ESAM4200 and, according to its public relations firm, suggested
perhaps interrupting the play's climactic song "The Crucifixion"
while Jesus savors a cup brewed from the Magnifica. An April
report in London's The Independent noted that the opera's composer,
Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber, was on board with the idea but that the
original lyricist, Sir Tim Rice, called it "tasteless" and "tacky." [The
Independent, 4-10-2012]

NOTE: From time to time, News of the Weird reminds readers that
bizarre human adventures repeat themselves again and again. Here
are some choice selections of previous themes recently coming
around again (plus a couple of updates on earlier stories):

* Each spring in Dongyang, China, the aroma of urine is in the air--
specifically, the town's specialty of eggs boiled in the discharge of
young boys (under age 10, typically gathered "fresh" from toilets at
local schools). Townspeople have believed for centuries that the
eggs, properly cooked, bring health and prosperity. "By eating these
eggs," one shopper told a Reuters reporter in March, "we will not
have any pain in our waists, legs, and joints. Also, you will have
more energy when you work." In fact, Dongyang officials have
proudly proclaimed "virgin boy eggs" as an "intangible cultural
heritage." [Reuters, 3-29-2012]

* And once again this spring, Chinese marked the Qingming
holiday with celebrations honoring the dead by making offerings to
their deceased relatives. At the "tomb-sweeping" festivals, people
present paper replicas of items their ancestors are believed to need
in the afterlife. Uncreative relatives give play money, but the
offerings can be elaborate, such as shoes, cars, and TV sets, or this
year's hot item--paper iPads, which were selling in Hong Kong for
the equivalent of about $3. [The Register (London), 3-29-2012]

* Sound Familiar? McDonald's still proudly serves its coffee hot,
notwithstanding the notorious 1992 lawsuit for burns suffered by
Stella Liebeck. In March 2012, Mona Abdelal filed a lawsuit in
Cook County, Ill., over severe burns that her granddaughter, 4,
suffered when fetching Abdelal's coffee order from a McDonald's
server. According to the lawsuit, the server violated company
policy that requires tightly-closed lids on coffee cups and prohibits
handing the cups to young children even if they are tightly-sealed.
[Chicago Tribune, 3-23-2012]

* With Afghanistan's moralistic Taliban in retreat, one social
scourge grows stronger than ever (according to an April Washington
Post dispatch from Dehrazi): "bacha bazi," which are Afghan men's
"dancing boys." Underage, often poor or fatherless kids become
willing "companions" of wealthy men, often for sex. Since young
girls are sheltered and chaperoned, only boys are available. Said
one man, "You cannot [even] take a wife with you to a party, but a
boy you can take anywhere." The usefulness of a bacha bazi
typically ends when he starts growing facial hair, and the boys often
drift into becoming pimps or prostitutes. [Washington Post, 4-4-
2012]

* The most recent government employee to defraud his agency's
worker compensation program (according to prosecutors in Los
Angeles) is firefighter Rafael Davis, 35, who received disability
payments for about 30 months during 2008-2011 while at the same
time engaging in mixed martial arts matches as "The Noodle."
Davis's record (according to LA Weekly) was 12-2, with seven of
those matches coming during his disability period, including six
victories. "MMA" (as noted by the newspaper) requires similar
"stamina, muscle, and coordination" as is required for firefighting.
[LA Weekly, 4-10-2012]

* More and more newspapers are assigning reporters to pore
through local birth records to sample the diversity of names parents
are giving their kids these days. An Edmonton Journal reporter
noted in March that the nearly 51,000 babies born in the province of
Alberta in 2011 included a boy named Moo, two girls named
Unique, an Einstein, a Messiah, a J-Cub, a Smiley, a Tuff, a Tuba, a
Jazz, a Camry, an Andromeda, and an Xxavier [sic], and a boy
named R and a girl named J. [Edmonton Journal, 36-2012]

* An increasingly mainstream treatment for the gastrointestinal
bacterial infection C.difficile involves transplanting the contents of
a healthy colon into the unhealthy one, on the belief that the best
way to kill the destructive germs and flora is to attack them with the
beneficial bacteria and flora that already reside in a healthy colon.
In March an unidentified man in Sydney, New Brunswick, who had
been turned down for a transplant by doctors at Cape Breton
Regional Hospital, performed a risky transplant of an unreported
substance, by himself, in his own bathroom. He apparently suffered
no ill effects, but doctors told the Chronicle Herald of Halifax,
Nova Scotia, that since the "product" must get into the large bowel,
merely giving yourself an enema does not assure success.
[Chronicle Herald, 4-3-2012]

* Through the years, unusual highway tractor-trailer spills have
fascinated News of the Weird readers--such as the time a truck
carrying pork colliding with a truck carrying eggs, creating a
highway dish of ham and eggs. In March on Highway 11 in
northeastern Ontario, a Brinks tractor-trailer carrying nothing but $1
and $2 Canadian coins hit a boulder in the roadway, scattering a
"debris field" of millions of dollars, forcing the closing of the road.
Among the clean-up equipment required: a "magnetic" crane and a
front-end loader that scooped up most of the soil in the field so that
the coins could later be sifted out. [Canadian Broadcasting Corp.
News, 3-28-2012]

* Least Competent Criminals: (1) In Twin Falls, Id., in April, Dylan
Contreras, 19, became the most recent person arrested while trying
to avoid police by giving a fake name ("Velesco") even though his
real name (the one on outstanding warrants) was tattooed in plain
sight on his forearm. (2) In April, a teller at Chicago's Northwest
Side bank became the most recent to thwart a robbery simply by
telling the perp (who had presented a holdup note) that the bank is
now closed and suggesting that the robber come back the next day.
(The perp walked out and did not return.) [Associated Press via
Biloxi Sun-Herald, 4-4-2012] [Chicago Tribune, 4-4-2012]

Updates

* Fine Points of the Law: A woman who was injured while
traveling on business in November 2007 in New South Wales,
Australia, was denied worker compensation by the workplace safety
tribunal on the ground that the injury occurred in her motel room
while she was having sex with a friend. (A wall light fixture came
loose as a result of the pair's vigorous antics.) However, in April
2012, Australia's Federal Court overturned the decision and granted
the compensation, ruling that since the woman was on assignment at
the time, the overnight stay, and even the sex, were "ordinary
incidents" of the situation her employer placed her in. [Sydney
Morning Herald, 4-19-2012]

* A New York City system-gaming public school teacher, Alan
Rosenfeld, 66, continues to show up for make-work (such as
photocopying "duty"), at a salary of $100,000 a year, rather than
retire. Rosenfeld was accused in 2001 of making lewd comments to
female students in his typing class and removed from classroom
duty, but he protested and continues to exercise his union "due
process" rights. In a January status report, the New York Post noted
that Rosenfeld could have retired four years ago, but that by
remaining on the "job," the value of his pension increases, and the
light duty enables him to conduct his real estate business while at
"work." [New York Post, 1-29-2012]

* Fun for All: The Ahlgrim Family Funeral Services in Palatine,
Ill. (first reported in News of the Weird in 1991), continues to serve
its community with the unique game room in the basement that it
rents out for parties (except during actual funeral events). Even
though the arcade games, shuffleboard, and billiards, are popular,
the main basement attraction is still the nine-hole miniature golf
course with its own "hazard" rules (e.g., two-stroke penalty for
disturbing a "grave" on the course). [Time Out Chicago, 3-27-2012]

Thanks This Week to John Ellwood and Jim Schneider, and
to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

* * * * *
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com,
and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.