News of the Weird, November 15, 2009
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* For some consumers, good environmental citizenship is
important even when choosing among sex accessories. No longer
will they tolerate plastic personal vibrators made with the softeners
called phthalates; or body lubricants that contain toxic chemicals
typically found in, say, antifreeze; or leather restraints from
slaughtered cattle. In an October issue, Time magazine described a
market of organic lubricants, biodegradable whips and handcuffs,
vegan condoms, and glass or mahogany vibrators (even hand-
crankable models, eliminating the need for batteries). Some
Catholic Church officials have also embraced the concept to
further denounce chemical and latex birth controls, re-
characterizing the traditional "rhythm" family planning as the back-
to-nature detection of ovulation via body signals. [Time, 10-26-
09]
The Entrepreneurial Spirit
* The British retailer Debenhams announced in September that it
would begin selling men's briefs whose opening is more accessible
from the left side, for left-handers who have been forced for
decades to manipulate a right-side opening. Previously, said a
Debenhams executive, "[L]eft-handed men have to reach much
further into their pants, performing a Z-shaped maneuver through
two 180-degree angles before achieving the result that right-handed
men perform with ease." [Reuters, 9-23-09]
* Troubling Products: (1) Mattel is accepting pre-orders for the
April 2010 release of the newest doll in the Barbie/Ken line, the
spiffily dressed Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken (apparently to be
showcased with a much younger, trophy-type Barbie). (2) Even
more troubling (but so far only a prototype) is Alex Green's
"Placenta Teddy Bear," exhibited in London in September and
Newcastle, England, in October at the "[re]design" showcase of
"sustainable toys" with children's themes. After the placenta is
cured and dried, it is treated with an emulsifier to render it pliable
and cut into strips with which to stitch Teddy together, thus
"unify[ing]" mother and baby. [EntertainmentEarth.com, 10-28-
09] [Discover Magazine blogs, 10-1-09]
Animal Weird News
* CNN, reporting from the London Zoo in August, described the
excitement surrounding news that the zoo would soon acquire a
12-year-old male gorilla from a preserve in France. Zoo officials
were pleased, but its three older female gorillas were almost
ecstatic. Shown posters of "Yeboah" the male, female "Zaire"
"shrieked in delight"; "Effie" wedged the poster into a tree and
stared at it; and "Mjukuu" held the photo close to her chest, "then
ate it." [CNN, 8-28-09]
* Gay Vulture Tricks: The births of two chicks on the same day at
the Jerusalem Biblical Zoo in April was unusual enough but
especially noteworthy because of the birds' lineage. Their fathers
were a gay vulture couple about ten years ago, according to a report
in the Israeli daily Haaretz, and zoo caretakers provided them an
artificial egg to "incubate" until they could replace the egg with a
just-hatched vulture, as if the male-male couple had birthed it. In
"an insane coincidence," said a Zoo official, the two males
eventually separated and paired with females, and those females
hatched eggs on the same day last April. Two weeks ago,
according to Haaretz, the two chicks achieved independence on the
same day and were moved to the Zoo's aviary. [Haaretz (Tel Aviv),
9-21-09]
* Among the species discovered recently in Papua New Guinea
were tiny bear-like creatures, frogs with fangs, fish that grunt,
kangaroos that live in trees, and what is probably the world's
largest rat (with no fear of humans). Scientists from Britain, the
United States, and Papua New Guinea announced the findings in
September, among more than 40 new species from a jungle habitat
a half-mile deep inside the centuries-dormant Mount Bosavi
volcano crater. [The Guardian (London), 9-7-09]
Leading Economic Indicators
* People With Too Much Money: A young, media-shy Chinese
woman, identified only as "Mrs. Wang" and photographed only in
jeans, a t-shirt, and baseball cap, purchased an 18-month-old
Tibetan mastiff in September for a reported four million yuan
(about $585,000). She ordered a motorcade of 30 luxury cars to
meet her and the dog on their arrival in Xi'an, in Shaanxi province.
The price is almost four times the previous reported high for
purchase of a dog (a cloned Labrador, by a Florida family). [The
Times (London), 9-11-09]
* Circular Reasoning: Surprisingly, the recession otherwise felt in
the Phoenix, Ariz., area this year has largely spared one
"profession": psychics. An October Arizona Republic report
found that while long-time clients tended to reduce their use of
astrology and related fields, their business was replaced by a new
class of customers desperate to know the future those facing
financial ruin because of bad home mortgages. (Few, wrote the
reporter, seemed to sense the irony of purchasing questionable
psychic services to overcome the consequences of questionable
mortgage decisions.) [Arizona Republic, 10-9-09]
Hyperactive Seniors
* Not Too Old to Do Her Own Hit: Elsa Seman, 71, was shot and
killed in North Versailles, Pa., in September, when she was
mistaken for a prowler. According to police, Seman had gone to
the home of her ex-boyfriend at night and, dressed in black,
commando-style, was lying in wait in his yard, with a pistol,
intending to kill him. A neighbor called in the report of a prowler,
and a police officer arriving at the scene fatally shot Seman.
[Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 9-21-09]
* Not Too Sickly for a Career in Bank Robbery: Police in southern
California know what the man looks like (from surveillance video)
but have not yet apprehended the well-dressed, 70ish man who has
robbed four banks since August, with the latest being a Bank of
America in Rancho Santa Fe in October. The man has shown
special dexterity to pull off the robberies, since he is on oxygen and
has to carry around his own tank. [KSWB-TV (San Diego), 10-27-
09]
Fine Points of British Law
* (1) A September inquest into the 2007 suicide of a 26-year-old
woman found that doctors at Norfolk and Norwich Hospital could
have saved her, but that because she had executed a living will
ordering no treatment, they rebuffed the pleas of family members
to treat her because, they said, they feared the woman would sue
them if she recovered. (2) An employment judge ruled in
September that Tim Nicholson could use the "religion" claim for
employment discrimination to sue the firm Grainger PLC, in
Newcastle, even though the disputes he had with management were
ostensibly just political -- about his fear of global climate change.
Judge David Sneath said he found Nicholson's ecology convictions
so sincere and all-encompassing that they amounted to religious
beliefs. [Daily Telegraph, 9-30-09] [The Guardian, 9-6-09]
Recurring Themes
* Drug-Runners Who Needed to Keep a Lower Profile: (1)
Michael Dennis, 22, of Mahoning Township, Pa., dared to speed in
May, police said, even though he had 100 packets of heroin in the
back seat. (2) Mark Smith of Winslow, Ariz., dared to run a stop
sign in Philadelphia in September, police said, even though he was
carrying 11 lbs. of heroin in the back of his SUV. (3) The driver of
an 18-wheeler dared to make an illegal lane change on Interstate 15
in Riverside County, Calif., in August, deputies said, even though
he was hauling 14 tons of marijuana. All were arrested, and all
drugs seized. [The Morning Call (Allentown), 5-18-09]
[Philly.com, 9-3-09] [Press-Enterprise (Riverside), 8-27-09]
A News of the Weird Classic (October 2002)
* Performance-Enhancing Substances: University of Wisconsin-
Madison veterinarians said in September 2002 that they now have
the technology to detect the fraudulent use of three udder-
beautifying schemes employed on show cows at dairy exhibits.
Forty percent of a cow's grade is on how full, symmetrical, and
smooth her udders are (but unlike in, say, human beauty contests,
cow udders are important only for their milk-producing potential).
Tests of the milk can detect whether saline was injected into the
udder, and ultrasound can reveal whether the udder has received
isobutane gas "foamies" or a liquid silver protein that does for the
udder what Botox does for human wrinkles. [Milwaukee Journal
Sentinel, 9-28-02]
Thanks This Week to Sam Gaines, Wil Howitt, Kathryn
Wood, Hal Dunham, and Red Williams, and to the News of the
Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Are you ready for News of the Weird / Pro Edition? Every
Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and
http://www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses:
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com,
and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.