News of the Weird, April 1, 2012
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* In a world of advancing technology and declining map-reading
skills, some GPS navigator users blindly over-rely on the devices,
and News of the Weird has reported enough of their predicaments to
mark the category "no longer weird." However, three Japanese
students on holiday near Brisbane, Australia, in March created a
new standard for ignoring common sense. Bound for North
Stradbroke Island (about eight miles offshore), the driver (according
to authorities cited by the local Bayside Bulletin) apparently put
maps and eyesight aside, in favor of the all-powerful Navigator,
which had instructed him to proceed. As news spread on the
Internet, photographers rushed to capture the car, half-buried in
sand. (In the students' defense, the beach seemed to extend to the
horizon at low tide--although the word "island" might have
deserved more respect.) [Bayside Bulletin (Cleveland, Australia), 3-
15-2012]
The Continuing Crisis
* The entire village (almost!) of Sodeto, Spain, shared the grand
prize in the country's huge Christmas lottery in December, earning
each of the 70 households the equivalent of at least $130,000. The
joint buy-in of tickets is a town ritual, but one resident missed the
canvassing: filmmaker Costis Mitsotakis (who said he was happy
that everyone else was happy). (The dark side of winning:
Hucksters flooded the town from all over the country.) [New York
Times, 1-31-2012]
* The town of Betws-y-Coed, Wales, holds the distinction of having
its name likely butchered by more misspellings on Internet search
inquiries than any other. Website managers told BBC News in
February that they have compiled a list of 364 different spellings
from people ostensibly looking for the town. The most common
references were to "Bwtsy Code" and "Betsy Cowed." [BBC News,
2-16-2012]
* Anthony McDaniel, 47, voluntarily returned to North Carolina
from his new home in Texas in February after being charged with
embezzlement by his old employer. The owner of Fayetteville's
Skibo Skillet (now out of business) accused McDaniel of having
swiped meatballs, corn on the cob, and anchovy dip while he
worked there. [Greensboro News-Record, 2-23-2012]
* Make Yourselves At Home: (1) Keith Davis, 46, was caught red-
handed in Ashley Murray's house in South Bend, Ind., in February
and charged with burglary. Murray, though, said she had mixed
feelings because, while there, Davis had folded Murray's clothes and
vacuumed the house. (Police said that some drug or other had made
Davis believe he was in his own home.) (2) Officials at the county
courthouse in Charlotte, N.C., were startled to learn in January that
Paul Frizzell, 30, had commandeered a vacant office in the building
and for two months had been running his business out of it (with
telephone, copy machine, and bulletin board, among other
trappings). [WNDU-TV (South Bend), 2-10-2012] [Gaston Gazette,
1-12-2012]
Family Values
* What Christmas gift would be appropriate for the 7-year-old
daughter of Britain's notorious specimen of plastic surgery known
as the "Human Barbie"? For little "Poppy" Burge, it was a gift
certificate worth the equivalent of about $11,000, for future
liposuction (redeemable beginning at age 16). Mom Sarah had
already given her a voucher for breast augmentation. (Poppy,
developing her early-onset need for attention: "I can't wait to be
like Mummy with big boobs. They're pretty.") Mom, who recently
turned 51, celebrated with about $80,000 worth of additional plastic
surgery to run her lifetime total to the equivalent of (depending on
source consulted) $800,000-$1,000,000. [Daily Mail (London), 1-4-
2012]
* Sheriff's detectives told the Everett, Wash., Daily Herald in
January that they had recently tracked down a 21-year-old man, who
confessed to stealing checks from the Money Tree store in
Lynnwood, Wash., and forging signatures. According to the
detectives, the man was clear about his motive: "I don't have an
addiction. I don't need to use drugs. I [was] doing this to show my
parents that I can make it on my own, without them." [Daily Herald,
1-25-2012]
Wisconsinites, Doing It the Hard Way
* In October, Robbie Suhr, 48, of Pleasant Prairie, Wis., sought the
affections of the young exchange student living with Suhr and his
wife and children, but she had so far declined. According to police,
a disguised Suhr snatched the woman one night, intending to tie her
up, leave, and then return undisguised to "rescue" her. However,
she fought back, sending the masked man fleeing. (Suhr got off
easier than Jordan Cardella, 20, of Milwaukee did several months
earlier. To win back his girlfriend, Cardella convinced a buddy to
shoot him, hoping for the girlfriend's sympathy and a change of
heart. Although he requested three shots in the back, he wisely
settled for one in the arm. Alas, the girlfriend continued to ignore
him.) [WTMJ-TV (Milwaukee), 10-30-2011] [Journal Sentinel
(Milwaukee), 7-26-2011]
It's Everywhere!
* (1) Two ministers in the Indian state of Karnataka were pressured
into resigning in February after allegedly being spotted watching
pornography on a cell phone in the state legislature. Minister
Laxman Savadi said he was actually doing research on the dangers
of "rave"parties. (2) A 54-year-old court clerk at Inner London
Crown Court was caught by his judge looking at pornography
during the victim's testimony at a notorious rape trial. He said he
was just "bored" and admitted previously browsing porn in court.
[BBC News, 2-8-2012] [Daily Mail, 2-7-2012]
People With Issues
* Now in its third season, the TLC cable channel's series "My
Strange Addiction" continues to raise the bar for News of the Weird
stories. This season's highlights include the man sexually attracted
to his car plus women who surround themselves with mothballs or
eat cat food or drink nail polish or dig into her ears or eat adhesive
tape. In one episode, "Ayanna," 54, who has not cut her fingernails
in three decades, reports that she has recently been cultivating her
toenails, which are now four inches long and hampering her use of
shoes. Another episode this season features Sheyla Hershey,
mentioned in News of the Weird four weeks ago after she credited
her gigantic breast implants with cushioning her body during a
recent car crash. [ABC News, 2-10-2012; Daily Mail (London), 3-6-
2012]
Least Competent Criminals
* One of the largest methamphetamine busts in U.S. history was
made in March by police in Palo Alto, Calif., who used the popular
Find-My-iPad "app." Apparently, someone at the drug house had
stolen the iPad, and police turned on the owner's global-positioning
"app," pointing to an apartment complex in Santa Clara County.
Almost 800 pounds of meth was confiscated, with a street value of
about $35 million. Said the father of the iPad owner, "They have
$35 million, and they can't go out and buy an iPad?" [Mercury
News (San Jose), 3-3-2012]
Recurring Themes
* News of the Weird reported in 2006 and 2008 on precocious 5-
year-old boys who, according to their parents, were certain they
wanted to live the rest of their lives as girls (that is, were not just
"going through a phase"). In Essex, England, recently, Zach Avery,
then 4, made British medical history when the National Health
Service diagnosed him with Gender Identity Disorder and endorsed
his desire to live as a girl. Zach was so unhappy as a boy that he
once tried to dismember himself. [Daily Telegraph (London), 2-20-
2012]
The Classic Middle Name (all-new!)
* Arrested recently and awaiting trial for murder: Justin Wayne
Green, 30, Clay County, Tex. (March), Kenneth Wayne Thompson,
28, Doniphan, Mo. (March) (arrested in Arizona), Gerald Wayne
Little, 60, Princeton, W.Va. (March), Michael Wayne Lindsay, 48,
Baileyton, Ala. (March), Keith Wayne Johnson, 19, Buna, Tex.
(February), Ryan Wayne Koebel, 17, Holts Summit, Mo. (January),
Derrick Wayne Hunt., Jr., 18, San Antonio, Tex. (October), Ronald
Wayne MacDonald, 50, Reno, Nev. (September) (charged in a 33-
year-old cold case), Jeremy Wayne Manieri, 31, Baton Rouge, La.
(July) (arrested in Florida), Christopher Wayne Dixon, 25, Sanford,
N.C. (August). Indicted for murder: Mark Wayne Thibodeaux, 52,
Lake Charles, La. (March). Re-Sentenced for Murder: Carl Wayne
Buntion, Houston, Tex. (March) (once again sentenced to death).
Murder conviction overturned on appeal: Michael Wayne Hash,
Richmond, Va. (February).
Green: [Times Record News (Wichita Falls, Tex.), 3-20-2012]
Thompson: [Associated Press via St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 3-17-
2012]
Little: [Bluefield Daily Telegraph (Bluefield, W.Va.), 3-21-2012]
Lindsay: [The Arab Tribune (Arab, Ala.), 3-22-2012]
Johnson: [Beaumont Enterprise, 3-20-2012]
Koebel: [Associated Press via Columbia Tribune, 1-22-2012]
Hunt: [San Antonio Express-News, 10-16-2011]
MacDonald: [Sky Valley Chronicle (Monroe, Wash.), 9-24-2011]
Manieri: [New York Daily News, 7-13-2011]
Dixon: [Fayetteville Observer, 8-7-2011]
Thibodeaux: [KPLC-TV (Lake Charles, La.), 3-22-2012]
Buntion: [KHOU-TV (Houston), 3-6-2012]
Hash: [Associated Press via Washington Post, 2-29-2012]
Thanks This Week to John Connell, Barbara McDonald,
Dorothy Rosa Durkee, Steve Ringley, Matt Rushing, Nelson Waller,
and Neil Gimon, and to the News of the Weird Senior Advisors
(Jenny T. Beatty, Paul Di Filippo, Ginger Katz, Joe Littrell, Matt
Mirapaul, Paul Music, Karl Olson, and Jim Sweeney) and Board of
Editorial Advisors (Tom Barker, Paul Blumstein, Harry Farkas,
Sam Gaines, Herb Jue, Emory Kimbrough, Scott Langill, Steve
Miller, Christopher Nalty, Mark Neunder, Bob Pert, Larry Ellis
Reed, Rob Snyder, Stephen Taylor, Bruce Townley, and Jerry
Whittle).
* * * * *
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