News of the Weird, March 3, 2013
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Chuck Shepherd
Mar 3, 2013, 10:17:47 AM3/3/13
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WEIRDNUZ.M308 (News of the Weird, March 3, 2013)
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* An Arizona appeals court ruled in February that someone can be
guilty of driving under the influence of marijuana even though its
psychoactive ingredient has long left his system. Since tests of
marijuana measure both active and inactive ingredients, and since
the active substance vanishes quickly but the inactive one remains
in the body for weeks, a marijuana consumer may test "positive"
even though not the least bit impaired. (In fact, since neighboring
Colorado recently legalized some marijuana possession, a Colorado
driver motoring through Arizona weeks later could be guilty of DUI
for a completely legal, harmless act, as could the 35,000 Arizona
medical-marijuana users.) The appeals court majority reasoned that
since the legislature did not distinguish the inactive ingredient from
the active, neither would the court. [Associated Press via
azfamily.com (Phoenix), 2-13-2013]
Compelling Explanations
* Richard Blake took the witness stand in Ottawa, Ontario, in
January to deny that it was he who had invaded a home and stabbed
two people numerous times. With a straight face, he had an answer
for all of the incriminating evidence. He had the perp's car because
"a stranger" had just handed him the keys; he didn't recall what the
stranger looked like (but guessed that he probably resembled Blake
because for some reason Blake got picked out of the lineup); he
donned the stranger's bloody knit cap (abandoning his own cap); he
handled the stranger's knife and bloody glove, and that's why his
DNA was on them; he fled at the first sight of police, ramming a
cruiser to escape (even though he had "done nothing wrong"); he
fled on foot after the collision and hid in a tree (but only to get away
from a swarm of black flies). After deliberating politely for a day,
the jury found him guilty. [Ottawa Citizen, 1-28-2013, 2-1-2013]
* A 61-year-old man in southern Sweden beat a DUI charge in
February even though his blood-alcohol was five times over the
legal limit. The man told the judge he is a hearty drinker and
normally starts in even before work every day, with "no effect" on
his performance. According to the Skanskan newspaper, that must
have impressed the judge, who was so awed that he tossed out the
charge. [TheLocal.se, 2-6-2013]
Ironies
* A longtime high school teacher of French and Spanish is suing the
Mariemont, Ohio, school district for having pressured her to resign
in the face of what she calls her phobia protected by disability-
discrimination law--a disorder of "fear of kids." Maria Waltherr-
Willard, 61, had been reassigned to teach some junior high students,
but doctors said she suffered hypertension, nightmares, chest pains,
and vomiting when around the younger children.
[Cincinnati.com, 1-13-2013]
* Lisa Biron's recent biography shows her to be a licensed lawyer in
two states, practicing in Manchester, N.H., and also affiliated with a
group of volunteer lawyers advocating "religious liberty, the
sanctity of life, and marriage and family." (She recently represented
a church in Concord, N.H., and served on the board of directors of a
Christian school in Manchester.) In January, Biron was convicted
in federal court in Concord on nine counts involving taking a
teenage girl to Canada and creating child pornography. [Union
Leader (Manchester), 1-20-2013]
The Litigious Society
* In September 2010, a speeding, intoxicated driver ran a stop sign
near Dade City, Fla., careened off a highway, and rammed two trees
along a private road, instantly killing himself and his passenger. In
January, the estate of the passenger filed a lawsuit for wrongful
death, charging the residents along the private road with letting the
trees grow in a dangerous location where they could be easily hit,
especially since the residents had failed to light the area adequately.
"How it's our fault, I have no idea," said one surprised resident,
who noted that the entire neighborhood had mourned the strangers
at the time of the sad, traumatic collision. [Tampa Bay Times, 2-
10-2013]
* Keith Brown and seven other inmates at Idaho's Kuna prison filed
a lawsuit in December against eight major beer and liquor
manufacturers for having sold them alcohol at an early age without
warning of its addictiveness--and are thus responsible for the men's
subsequent lives of crime. (Brown, 52, said he personally has been
locked up a total of 30 years and is now serving time for
manslaughter.) (The Oglala Sioux tribe has sued beer distributors
and the state of Nebraska for enabling easy access to nearby beer
even though it was banned on the reservation. The lawsuit was
dismissed on jurisdictional issues, but the tribe may refile soon.)
[Idaho Statesman, 1-2-2012]
* Jason Starn, formerly a law student at the Laurence Drivon School
of Law in Stockton, Calif., filed a lawsuit recently against three
Stockton-Modesto-area "head shops" that had sold him "Whip-It"
nitrous oxide, which led him to over-indulge and eventually suffer
spinal-cord degeneration. Starn told the Sacramento Bee that "At
first, I felt a little embarrassed about" filing the lawsuit (but
managed to overcome the shame in order to warn all the other
nitrous-oxide abusers.) [Sacramento Bee, 1-3-2013]
Suspicions Confirmed
* (1) A 53-year-old Rosenheim, Germany, postal worker was
relieved of criminal charges in January when a judge ruled him
innocent of discarding mail (as jealous "whistle-blowers" had
charged) after concluding that the carrier finished routes early
simply because he worked faster. Although the charge was
dropped, he was reprimanded for taking unauthorized (i.e., simpler)
routes. (2) After a 400-lb. woman broke both arms accidentally
falling through a sidewalk in New York City in January, doctors
told her that a thinner woman might have died from the same fall.
"Thank God, they said that my size was the only thing that saved
me." [TheLocal.de (Berlin), 1-3-2013] [New York Post, 1-13-
2013]
* Faith healer Ariel Ben Sherman, 78, died in November in a South
Carolina hospital after suffering respiratory arrest while being
treated for small-cell cancer. He had been found guilty in May 2012
of neglect in the cancer death of a 15-year-old girl (of whom he had
accepted the title of "spiritual father") for his insistence that the
girl's mother reject medical care and treat the girl only with prayer.
[Knoxville News-Sentinel via WEWS-TV (Cleveland), 1-7-2013]
People With Issues
* Australian researchers recently uncovered a minor prison
phenomenon in that country that might shed light on isolated cases
reported in southwest U.S. prisons (mentioned in News of the
Weird in 2012): inmates inserting objects underneath the skin of
their penises, somehow under the impression that (a) it doesn't hurt
and (b) it provides sexual pleasure and virility. Among the items
discovered in Australia: buttons, dice, deodorant roller balls. The
apparent favorite among the several Hispanic men discovered in the
U.S. Southwest: shaved dominoes. In many cases, infections
resulted and sometimes required major surgery. [PLoS ONE
(journal) via The Atlantic, February 2013] .M250
Perspective
* From a tag on an item of clothing offered recently at a new-item
price by the retailer Urban Outfitters: "This unique found item was
hand-selected for you from a yard sale or flea market. Any tears,
holes, paint stains or other defects we consider a virtue and not a
flaw. Wear it well." Consequently, an item that might have been
donated overseas or to a Goodwill or Salvation Army store is sold
to "urban" clotheshounds at "new" item prices. Urban Outfitters
defended the practice, calling any such items "curated" by their
expert store buyers, "hand-picked" for their "uniqueness," and
sometimes "truly one-of-a-kind, which means that once they're
gone, they're gone." [BusinessInsider.com, 12-7-2012]
Readers' Choice
* In December a 38-year-old male worker at the Social Security
office in Baltimore was issued a formal reprimand after co-workers
complained that he prodigiously passed gas at his desk. He had
been counseled informally in the summer of 2012, and to satisfy
"due process," a log was made later listing 60 specific emissions on
17 separate dates, with, for example, nine blasts on September 19th.
Seven days after the letter of reprimand was issued, "senior
management" at the agency learned of it and withdrew it, without
comment, according to a Washington Post report. [The Smoking
Gun, 12-21-2012] [Washington Post, 1-10-2013]
Thanks This Week to Russell Bell, Mel Birge, Frank Smith,
Hal Dunham, Annie Thames, and Sandy Pearlman, and to the News
of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.net
(almost daily), and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* An Arizona appeals court ruled in February that someone can be
guilty of driving under the influence of marijuana even though its
psychoactive ingredient has long left his system. Since tests of
marijuana measure both active and inactive ingredients, and since
the active substance vanishes quickly but the inactive one remains
in the body for weeks, a marijuana consumer may test "positive"
even though not the least bit impaired. (In fact, since neighboring
Colorado recently legalized some marijuana possession, a Colorado
driver motoring through Arizona weeks later could be guilty of DUI
for a completely legal, harmless act, as could the 35,000 Arizona
medical-marijuana users.) The appeals court majority reasoned that
since the legislature did not distinguish the inactive ingredient from
the active, neither would the court. [Associated Press via
azfamily.com (Phoenix), 2-13-2013]
Compelling Explanations
* Richard Blake took the witness stand in Ottawa, Ontario, in
January to deny that it was he who had invaded a home and stabbed
two people numerous times. With a straight face, he had an answer
for all of the incriminating evidence. He had the perp's car because
"a stranger" had just handed him the keys; he didn't recall what the
stranger looked like (but guessed that he probably resembled Blake
because for some reason Blake got picked out of the lineup); he
donned the stranger's bloody knit cap (abandoning his own cap); he
handled the stranger's knife and bloody glove, and that's why his
DNA was on them; he fled at the first sight of police, ramming a
cruiser to escape (even though he had "done nothing wrong"); he
fled on foot after the collision and hid in a tree (but only to get away
from a swarm of black flies). After deliberating politely for a day,
the jury found him guilty. [Ottawa Citizen, 1-28-2013, 2-1-2013]
* A 61-year-old man in southern Sweden beat a DUI charge in
February even though his blood-alcohol was five times over the
legal limit. The man told the judge he is a hearty drinker and
normally starts in even before work every day, with "no effect" on
his performance. According to the Skanskan newspaper, that must
have impressed the judge, who was so awed that he tossed out the
charge. [TheLocal.se, 2-6-2013]
Ironies
* A longtime high school teacher of French and Spanish is suing the
Mariemont, Ohio, school district for having pressured her to resign
in the face of what she calls her phobia protected by disability-
discrimination law--a disorder of "fear of kids." Maria Waltherr-
Willard, 61, had been reassigned to teach some junior high students,
but doctors said she suffered hypertension, nightmares, chest pains,
and vomiting when around the younger children.
[Cincinnati.com, 1-13-2013]
* Lisa Biron's recent biography shows her to be a licensed lawyer in
two states, practicing in Manchester, N.H., and also affiliated with a
group of volunteer lawyers advocating "religious liberty, the
sanctity of life, and marriage and family." (She recently represented
a church in Concord, N.H., and served on the board of directors of a
Christian school in Manchester.) In January, Biron was convicted
in federal court in Concord on nine counts involving taking a
teenage girl to Canada and creating child pornography. [Union
Leader (Manchester), 1-20-2013]
The Litigious Society
* In September 2010, a speeding, intoxicated driver ran a stop sign
near Dade City, Fla., careened off a highway, and rammed two trees
along a private road, instantly killing himself and his passenger. In
January, the estate of the passenger filed a lawsuit for wrongful
death, charging the residents along the private road with letting the
trees grow in a dangerous location where they could be easily hit,
especially since the residents had failed to light the area adequately.
"How it's our fault, I have no idea," said one surprised resident,
who noted that the entire neighborhood had mourned the strangers
at the time of the sad, traumatic collision. [Tampa Bay Times, 2-
10-2013]
* Keith Brown and seven other inmates at Idaho's Kuna prison filed
a lawsuit in December against eight major beer and liquor
manufacturers for having sold them alcohol at an early age without
warning of its addictiveness--and are thus responsible for the men's
subsequent lives of crime. (Brown, 52, said he personally has been
locked up a total of 30 years and is now serving time for
manslaughter.) (The Oglala Sioux tribe has sued beer distributors
and the state of Nebraska for enabling easy access to nearby beer
even though it was banned on the reservation. The lawsuit was
dismissed on jurisdictional issues, but the tribe may refile soon.)
[Idaho Statesman, 1-2-2012]
* Jason Starn, formerly a law student at the Laurence Drivon School
of Law in Stockton, Calif., filed a lawsuit recently against three
Stockton-Modesto-area "head shops" that had sold him "Whip-It"
nitrous oxide, which led him to over-indulge and eventually suffer
spinal-cord degeneration. Starn told the Sacramento Bee that "At
first, I felt a little embarrassed about" filing the lawsuit (but
managed to overcome the shame in order to warn all the other
nitrous-oxide abusers.) [Sacramento Bee, 1-3-2013]
Suspicions Confirmed
* (1) A 53-year-old Rosenheim, Germany, postal worker was
relieved of criminal charges in January when a judge ruled him
innocent of discarding mail (as jealous "whistle-blowers" had
charged) after concluding that the carrier finished routes early
simply because he worked faster. Although the charge was
dropped, he was reprimanded for taking unauthorized (i.e., simpler)
routes. (2) After a 400-lb. woman broke both arms accidentally
falling through a sidewalk in New York City in January, doctors
told her that a thinner woman might have died from the same fall.
"Thank God, they said that my size was the only thing that saved
me." [TheLocal.de (Berlin), 1-3-2013] [New York Post, 1-13-
2013]
* Faith healer Ariel Ben Sherman, 78, died in November in a South
Carolina hospital after suffering respiratory arrest while being
treated for small-cell cancer. He had been found guilty in May 2012
of neglect in the cancer death of a 15-year-old girl (of whom he had
accepted the title of "spiritual father") for his insistence that the
girl's mother reject medical care and treat the girl only with prayer.
[Knoxville News-Sentinel via WEWS-TV (Cleveland), 1-7-2013]
People With Issues
* Australian researchers recently uncovered a minor prison
phenomenon in that country that might shed light on isolated cases
reported in southwest U.S. prisons (mentioned in News of the
Weird in 2012): inmates inserting objects underneath the skin of
their penises, somehow under the impression that (a) it doesn't hurt
and (b) it provides sexual pleasure and virility. Among the items
discovered in Australia: buttons, dice, deodorant roller balls. The
apparent favorite among the several Hispanic men discovered in the
U.S. Southwest: shaved dominoes. In many cases, infections
resulted and sometimes required major surgery. [PLoS ONE
(journal) via The Atlantic, February 2013] .M250
Perspective
* From a tag on an item of clothing offered recently at a new-item
price by the retailer Urban Outfitters: "This unique found item was
hand-selected for you from a yard sale or flea market. Any tears,
holes, paint stains or other defects we consider a virtue and not a
flaw. Wear it well." Consequently, an item that might have been
donated overseas or to a Goodwill or Salvation Army store is sold
to "urban" clotheshounds at "new" item prices. Urban Outfitters
defended the practice, calling any such items "curated" by their
expert store buyers, "hand-picked" for their "uniqueness," and
sometimes "truly one-of-a-kind, which means that once they're
gone, they're gone." [BusinessInsider.com, 12-7-2012]
Readers' Choice
* In December a 38-year-old male worker at the Social Security
office in Baltimore was issued a formal reprimand after co-workers
complained that he prodigiously passed gas at his desk. He had
been counseled informally in the summer of 2012, and to satisfy
"due process," a log was made later listing 60 specific emissions on
17 separate dates, with, for example, nine blasts on September 19th.
Seven days after the letter of reprimand was issued, "senior
management" at the agency learned of it and withdrew it, without
comment, according to a Washington Post report. [The Smoking
Gun, 12-21-2012] [Washington Post, 1-10-2013]
Thanks This Week to Russell Bell, Mel Birge, Frank Smith,
Hal Dunham, Annie Thames, and Sandy Pearlman, and to the News
of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.net
(almost daily), and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.
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