News of the Weird, March 14, 2010
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2010 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Anthropomorphizing Little Muffy: (1) A February St. Petersburg
Times report found several local people who regularly cook
gourmet meals for their dogs and who revealed their dogs' (or
maybe just "their") favorite recipes. "Veggie Cookies for Dogs," for
example," requires whole-wheat flour, dried basil, dried cilantro,
dried oregano, chopped carrot, green beans, tomato paste, canola
oil, and garlic. Asked one chef, why feed "man's best friend" what
you wouldn't eat, yourself? (2) A day spa for dogs ("Wag Style") in
Tokyo offers sessions in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber, supposedly
easing doggy arthritis, healing wounds, and halting aging. (Some
race horse owners are certain that the chambers help with equine
muscle and joint problems, but an academic researcher told a
BoingBoing.net writer that evidence of benefit is "anecdotal.") [St.
Petersburg Times, 2-17-10] [BoingBoing.net, 2-23-10]
Compelling Explanations
* At first, Rev. Fred Armfield's arrest for patronizing a prostitute in
Greenwood, S.C., in January looked uncontroversial, with Armfield
allegedly confessing that he had bargained Melinda "Truck Stop"
Robinson down from $10 to $5 for oral sex. Several days later,
however, Armfield formally disputed the arrest, calling himself a
"descendant of the original Moro-Pithecus Disoch, Kenyapithecus
and Afro Pithecus," a "living flesh and blood being with sovereign
status," and someone who, based on his character and community
standing, should not be prosecuted. Also, he claimed that any
payment to "Truck Stop" with Federal Reserve Notes did not legally
constitute a purchase since such Notes are not lawful money.
[Index-Journal (Greenwood), 1-29-10]
* Lame: (1) Glenn Armstrong, 47, had a defense ready when police
accused him of taking restroom photographs of boys in Brisbane,
Australia, in January. He said he was having an ongoing debate
with his wife and was gathering proof that most boys are not
circumcised. (2) Sheriff's deputies in Austin, Tex., arrested
Anthony Gigliotti, 17, after complaints that the teen was annoying
women by following them around in public and snapping
photographs of their clothed body parts. Gigliotti told one deputy
that he needed the photos because the sex education at his Lake
Travis High School was inadequate. [News.com.au-Australian
Associated Press, 1-27-10] [KXAN-TV (Austin), 2-2-10]
* Fredrick Federley, a Member of the Swedish Parliament, said he
has always campaigned as someone who does not take gifts from
those he is responsible for regulating, but he was called out by the
newspaper Aftonbladet in February for having accepted a free travel
holiday from an airline. Federley denied that "he" accepted the trip.
He reminded reporters that he is a notorious, flamboyant cross-
dresser, and thus that it was his alter-ego "Ursula" who received the
free holiday. [The Local (Stockholm), 2-10-10]
Ironies
* In February, the trade group Mortgage Bankers Association
announced the sale of its Washington, D.C., headquarters, for $41
million. The Association had purchased the building in 2007, at the
peak of the real estate bubble, for $79 million. [Wall Street Journal,
2-8-10]
Our Litigious Society
* Craig Show, 49, filed a lawsuit in January against the Idaho State
Police and the Bonner County Sheriff's Office, demanding
compensation following his DUI arrest in August. Show said the
cops had seized a "medicine bag" on his motorcycle and, in opening
it for inspection, permitted the "mystical powers" inside to escape.
The bag was blessed by a "medicine woman" in 1995 and, Show
said, had been unopened since then. [UPI, 2-1-10]
* Sabrina Medina filed a lawsuit against the Hyatt Regency Waikiki
Resort in Hawaii in January, claiming that an employee had caused
her husband's death. The late Humberto Murillo had swiped two
12-packs of beer from a store at the Resort, but the manager pursued
and confronted him. Murillo started punching, and bystanders came
to the manager's aid, restrained Murillo, and held him down.
Murillo, who was bipolar and had marijuana in his system, passed
out and asphyxiated. [Honolulu Advertiser, 1-16-10, 12-20-09]
* Clumsy: (1) Teacher Karen Hollander filed a lawsuit in
November against the New York City Department of Education
after taking a fall on "slippery foreign substances," including
condoms, on the floor at the High School of Art & Design. Since
schools distribute condoms on campus, she said, the Department is
responsible when students open them and discard them during the
lunch period, littering the floor. (2) Anthony Avery, 72, a retired
insurance underwriter, filed a lawsuit in December against the
exclusive Rye Golf Club in East Sussex County, England, for
lingering injuries caused when he slipped on the wet floor of the
club's shower room. The floor, he said, was "too" slippery. [New
York Daily News, 11-21-09] [Daily Mail, 12-14-09]
Fine Points of the Law
* Human Rights Law: Iraqi immigrant Laith Alani murdered two
doctors in a British hospital in 1990 and has been confined to
mental facilities ever since, taking clozapine to control his
schizophrenia. Since Alani is not a citizen, the government has
sought deportation, but in January the Asylum and Immigration
Tribunal ruled that that would violate Alani's "human rights." Only
the British hospitals, reasoned the judges, can guarantee that Alani
will receive uninterrupted clozapine, without which he would
become dangerous to himself and to others (that is, fellow Iraqis,
after repatriation). [Daily Mail, 1-24-10]
* Orthodox Jewish Law: Israel Elias and his then-wife Susan Zirkin
were divorced under British law in 1962, but Zirkin has been unable
to remarry since then because Orthodox Jewish law does not
recognize divorce unless the husband grants the wife a "get," and
Elias has refused. Within the Orthodox community, Zirkin would
have been shunned had she remarried, as would any children she
had. A few rabbis try to work around the system, but their attempts
are not widely accepted. Zirkin, now 73, was believed to be the
world's longest-standing "chained" wife, but in February, after 37
years, she became a free woman. Elias passed away, and the "get"
is no longer necessary. [The Independent (London), 2-19-10]
Least Competent Criminals
* (1) Myesha Williams, 20, and a friend walked in to the police
station in DeLand, Fla., in January and demanded to know why their
photos appeared in local crime news on TV. Following
questioning, police decided Williams was the woman on their
surveillance video robbing a beauty shop and arrested her (but since
Williams's friend had left before the actual robbery, she was not
charged). (2) The burglar who stole already-filled prescription
orders from the West Main Pharmacy in Medford, Ore., in January
puzzlingly limited his take to the pickup-ready packages filed under
"O." Police guessed that the burglar must have been after the
commonly-stolen "oxycodone" and was unaware that outgoing
prescriptions are filed by customers' last names, not their
medications. [Daytona Beach News-Journal, 1-20-10] [Mail
Tribune (Medford), 1-27-10]
Recurring Themes
* (1) Last May, a 13-year-old boy in Galt, Calif., became the most
recent inadvertent beneficiary of foolish behavior. Acting on a dare,
the boy had chugged eight shots of tequila and lost consciousness.
A routine CT scan at the hospital exposed an until-then-unrevealed
brain tumor, and the boy is slowly recovering from his arduous-but-
lifesaving surgery. (2) In January, James Shimsky, 50, became the
most recent priest in the Catholic Diocese of Scranton, Pa., to be
arrested for wayward behavior (with several recent instances
reported in a January edition of News of the Weird). Shimsky was
arrested on a Philadelphia street, for allegedly buying cocaine.
[KOVR-TV (Sacramento), 12-21-09] [Philadelphia Inquirer, 2-13-
10]
A News of the Weird Classic (May 2005)
* As many as ten percent of Japanese youths may be living in "epic
sulks" as hermits ("hikikomori"), according to a March 2005 Taipei
Times dispatch from Tokyo, thus representing no improvement in
the already alarming problem that was described in a News of the
Weird report in 2000, which estimated that one million young
professionals were then afflicted. Many of the hikikomori still live
in their parents' homes and simply never leave their bedrooms
except briefly to gather food. Among the speculation as to cause:
school bullying, academic pressure, poor social skills, excessive
video-gaming, unaccessible father figures, and an education system
that suppresses youths' sense of adventure. [Taipei Times, 3-11-05]
Thanks This Week to Steve Dunn, David Scott, Tom Barker,
Phil Carhart, and Dave Stout, and to the News of the Weird Board
of Editorial Advisors.
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