News of the Weird, January 15, 2012
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Obsessions: (1) Don Aslett, 76, recently opened the Museum of
Clean in Pocatello, Id., as the culmination of a lifelong devotion to
tidying up. Highlights are several hundred pre-electric vacuum
cleaners plus interactive exhibits to encourage kids to clean their
rooms. Aslett told London's Daily Mail in December that people
who don't understand his dedication must never have experienced
the satisfaction of making a toilet bowl sparkle. (2) Also starting
early in life, Dustin Kruse, 4, is so knowledgeable about toilet
models and plumbing mechanics that the Kohler Company
presented him with an advanced-model "dual flush" commode for
Christmas. Dustin, a fan of the Kohler showroom, has been known
to explain toilet technology to other showroom visitors. [Daily Mail,
12-28-2011] [Kohler Co. press release, 12-22-2011]
Government in Action!
* Predator drones are an important weapon against terrorists in
Afghanistan, Yemen, and other countries, but in June, an unarmed
predator was employed stateside to help catch cattle rustlers.
Department of Homeland Security owns eight predators for
surveillance and occasionally assists local law enforcement. The
cattle rustlers had been arrested, then jumped bail and holed up on
their vast ranch near Lakota, N.D., but the predator spotted their
exact location on the property, leading to a raid that ended without
bloodshed. [Fargo Forum, 12-11-2011]
* Government Inaction: India's legendarily plodding government
bureaucracy had long stymied a snake charmer named Hakkul (a
villager in Uttar Pradesh state), who had sought a snake-
conservation permit, which had been authorized at one level but
delayed locally. In November, finally exasperated, Hakkul walked
into the land revenue office in the town of Harraiya with several
sacks of snakes (including cobras) and turned them loose, sending
clerks and visitors climbing furniture or fleeing. Recent news
accounts report that "almost all" of the snakes had been rounded up.
[BBC News, 11-30-2011]
* A December news release from the U.S. Centers for Disease
Control warned of the dangers of Campylobacter jejuni bacteria
infections on a sheep ranch, but apparently only among workers
who used an old-style (19th century) method of castrating the
animals. CDC strongly urged that workers stop biting off the
sheep's genitals and instead use modern tools. [Wall Street Journal,
12-8-2011]
* From U.S. Sen. Tom Coburn's periodic list of the most
"unnecessary, duplicative, and low-priority projects" that the federal
government currently funds (announced in December): $75,000 to
promote awareness of the role "Michigan" plays in producing
Christmas trees and poinsettias; $48,700 for promoting the Hawaii
Chocolate Festival; $113,227 for a video game preservation center
in New York; and $764,825 to study something surely already done
adequately by Silicon Valley entrepreneurs--how college students
use mobile devices for social networking. Also on Senator
Coburn's list: $15.3 million in continuing expenses for the famous
Alaskan "bridge to nowhere" that was widely ridiculed in 2005 but
apparently refuses to die. [Office of Sen. Tom Coburn, 12-20-2011]
Chutzpah!
* Convicted serial rapist Steven Phillips was exonerated in 2008,
one of a continuing string of wrongly convicted Dallas, Tex.,-area
"criminals" proved innocent by DNA testing, and under a formula
by state law, he was awarded about $4 million, tax-free, for his 25
years behind bars. Recently, Phillips's ex-wife filed a petition in
court demanding a portion--even though the couple had been
divorced for the last 17 years of his incarceration, and the ex-wife
had remarried and had a child. (The ex-wife claims it was Phillips
who originated the divorce and that she had given up on him only
because he had revealed a "disgusting" history as a "peeping tom"
and flasher.) [Dallas Observer, 12-12-2011]
Felicitous Discoveries
* (1) Dan D'Amato, 45, partying in an Orlando, Fla., motel room in
December, was accidentally shot by a stranger who was having a
dispute with another partygoer. Later, as his wounded hip was
being treated at a hospital, doctors discovered and removed two
"huge" tumors in D'Amato's abdomen that had so far gone
unnoticed. The tumors were not cancerous but had they not been
found, they would soon have disabled him. (2) At a home in
Taylorsville, Utah, in December, one housemate who was pursuing
a mouse in the kitchen accidentally shot another housemate. As
police investigated, they discovered a 13-year-old girl hiding in a
closet. A third housemate, Paul Kunzler, 28, was then arrested and
charged with carrying on a months-long sexual relationship with
her. [Orlando Sentinel, 12-21-2011] [KSL-TV (Salt Lake City), 12-
21-2011]
Police Report
* John Whittle, 52, was charged in December with robbing a Wells
Fargo Bank in Port Richey, Fla. According to police, Whittle
ordered a beer at the Hayloft Bar shortly after 1 p.m., then excused
himself, and a few minutes later, returned to finish his beer. In the
interim, police said later, Whittle had walked down the street to the
bank and robbed it. [WTSP-TV (St. Petersburg), 12-23-2011]
* In December, Russell Mace, 55, was caught soon after robbing a
Union Savings Bank branch in New Milford, Conn. A bank
employee had spotted Mace acting "suspicious" in the parking lot,
and indeed, he said, Mace entered, robbed the bank of about $3,000,
and fled to a waiting car. Police, however, identified the car, which
they had noted from Mace's recent arrest for shoplifting. (The
"suspicious" behavior the bank employee had noticed, he told
police, was Mace, pants down, defecating, in plain view among
parked cars.) [News Times (Danbury, Conn.), 12-19-2011]
Cliches Come to Life
* (1) A 28-year-old man in New York City quietly excused himself
the morning after his wedding in November (at a hotel following an
elaborate reception), took a taxi to a Harlem River overlook, and
jumped to his death. According to a relative, the man's suicide note
mentioned that he "couldn't take it anymore." (2) Luna Oraivej, 37,
was ordered in 2010 by a court in Seattle to take an anger-
management course to settle a charge of domestic violence, but in
December 2011, she sued the creator of the course because a fellow
attendee had stabbed her in the arm during a classroom dispute.
(The instructor was playing a video of "Dr. Phil," and Oraivej had
urged the classmate to listen to Dr. Phil's message, but the classmate
apparently could not bear it.) [New York Post, 11-27-2011]
[Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 12-11-2011]
Least Competent Criminals
* Rookie Mistake: Tyechia Rembert, 33, was arrested and charged
with robbing a Burger King drive-thru cashier in York, Pa., in
December but only after making police officers' job easier. After
her clean getaway, she called the restaurant to reassure herself that
none of the witnesses had noted her car's license plate number.
None had, but using cell phone records, police traced that call to
Rembert. [York Dispatch, 12-1-2011]
Update
* Not all states have anti-bestiality laws, and Peter Bower's ongoing
case in Ohio exemplifies prosecutors' frustration. There was
evidence that Bower had had sex with a dog ("Maggie") and had
written her "love" letters, and police arrested him in June.
Prosecutors were willing to settle the case in November for minimal
punishment because the only law Bower could have been charged
under is "animal cruelty," and they explained that they might have
had trouble showing harm to the apparently-adored dog. (At the
time of Bower's arrest, a search had uncovered human-animal
pornography and a life-sized inflatable sheep.) [WBNS-TV
(Columbus), 11-28-2011]
Undignified Deaths
* (1) A 77-year-old man was killed by a sheriff's deputy in
December while standing beside his own engraved tombstone in a
Gardnerville, N.Y., cemetery. (The victim was holding a shotgun
and was distraught over the death of his wife.) (2) A 20-year-old
man died of an apparent cocaine overdose in North Charleston,
S.C., in December as a result of trying to help his older brother.
The pair had been arrested and placed in a police cruiser when the
older brother convinced the younger one to swallow the ounce of
cocaine the older man was carrying. (According to a police report,
the cocaine had been stored in the older man's "backside.")
[WNBC-TV (New York City)-AP, 12-9-2011] [Charleston Post &
Courier, 12-21-2011]
Thanks This Week to Hal Dunham, Sharon Corbett, Larry
Seltzer, Richard Bungiro, Jenna LeStarge, Alan Esworthy, Jim
Dukes, David Oppenheimer, Brendan O'Naughton, and John Votel,
and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
*****
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net / http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com
P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL
33679.