News of the Weird, January 24, 2010
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2010 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* In December, a prominent online game player, Buzz "Erik"
Lightyear, won the auction for ownership of a virtual space station
in the Planet Calypso game, paying 3.3 million Project Entropia
Dollars (PEDs), which at various points entered the game's play-
like economy at an out-of-pocket cost of 10 actual U.S. cents per
PED. Thus, Lightyear "paid" $330,000 for nothing more than
digital representations of cool-looking structures. However,
Lightyear can now charge other PED-seeking players who shop
and hunt for valuables on the popular space station and appears
confident he will eventually earn back his investment. (On the
other hand, if everyone suddenly abandoned the game, Lightyear
will have spent thousands of hours online, buying, selling, and
bartering to earn $330,000 worth of PEDs that would then be
worthless.) [OnlineMassivelyMultiplayer.com, 12-30-09]
Government in Action!
* In January, the Berkeley (Calif.) School Board began
consideration of a near-unanimous recommendation of Berkeley
High School's Governance Council to eliminate science labs from
its curriculum, reasoning that the classes mostly serve white
students, leaving less money for programs for underperforming
minorities. Berkeley High's white students do far better
academically than the state average; black and Latino students do
worse than average. Five science teachers would be dismissed.
[East Bay Express, 12-23-09]
* The Wisconsin legislature is considering a bill to designate a
"state bacterium" (the Lactococcus lactis, which is crucial to
turning milk into the state's famous cheese). If approved, the
bacterium would join two dozen other state symbols (according to
the Wisconsin Blue Book): coat of arms, seal, motto, flag, song,
flower, bird, tree, fish, state animal, wildlife animal, domestic
animal, mineral, rock, symbol of peace, insect, soil, fossil, dog,
beverage, grain, dance, ballad, waltz, fruit, and tartan. [Los
Angeles Times, 12-13-09]
* New York City, under Mayor Bloomberg's leadership, has taken
aggressive positions against cigarette-smoking and restaurant
dishes made with trans fats, but the city's Department of Health is
apparently more tolerant regarding heroin. A recently released,
Department-funded 16-page pamphlet instructs heroin users on
"safer" ways to inject the drug (and suggests, if the first needle stab
misses a vein, the more healthful course is to pull out and begin
anew rather than try to maneuver the syringe). Of course, the
booklet contains several warnings against any use of heroin, but
those, obviously, are messages habitually ignored by addicts. [New
York Post, 1-3-10)
Great Art!
* In December, Portuguese dancer Rita Marcalo, seeking to raise
public awareness of the tragedy of epilepsy (which has afflicted her
for 20 years), performed a 24-hour "show" at a West Yorkshire,
England, theater in which she attempted to trigger an epileptic
seizure on stage. She had stopped taking medication beforehand
and continually stared into flashing strobe lights, but was
unsuccessful. However, in the second part of her project (which
has been funded by an Arts Council grant of the equivalent of
about $20,000), she will continue the quest, but only in front of
cameras, hoping to capture a seizure for a subsequent video
production. [Daily Telegraph, 11-19-09; Telegraph and Argus
(Bradford, England), 12-12-09]
* Scottish sculptor Kevin Harman was fined the equivalent of
about $325 in November for vandalizing the Collective Gallery in
Edinburgh by smashing a metal scaffolding pole through a gallery
window. Harman insisted that the incident was actually "art," in
that it was part of a video for a project at the Edinburgh College of
Art and that Harman had immediately paid to replace the window.
However, it was not "art" to the Gallery's management, which
pressed charges. Harman, according to London's The Guardian,
said he was less distressed by the fine than by the Gallery's
insulting his art by calling it vandalism. [The Guardian, 12-18-09]
Are the Terrorists Safe?
* Although the U.S. military stateside can direct a drone aircraft
halfway around the world to deliver bombs mostly on highly
specific targets in Iraq, the Pentagon acknowledged in December
that even after six years of war, its signals to the drone are still not
encrypted. Thus, Iraqi insurgents can pinpoint drone locations
merely by using ordinary computer programs like SkyGrabber,
which is widely available from software retailers for about $25.
U.S. officials admitted that the software could make it easier for
insurgents to anticipate the timing and location of attacks. [Wall
Street Journal, 12-17-09]
* Afghanistan and Pakistan continue to be dangerous for
blundering insurgents. In January, 14 suspected Taliban terrorists
accidentally blew themselves up in Kunduz province while riding a
bus carrying bombs to an intended target. And in Karachi,
Pakistan, two days later, eight suspected terrorists accidentally
blew themselves up while handling bombs in their "safe house."
[CNN, 1-6-10] [Voice of America News-AP, 1-8-10]
Cutting-Edge Research
* (1) In December, University of London math professor Simon
Blackburn published a complicated, square-root-deriving formula
to determine whether a driver has enough room to parallel-park
within a given space. By inputting such measurements as a car's
wheel base and the radius of its turning circle, a driver can
calculate an exact, when-to-turn steering instruction. (2) A
December National Public Radio report noted that fake houseflies
have begun appearing in urinals around the world based apparently
on research showing that men are more likely to aim at the flies,
thus leaving the area surrounding the urinal cleaner. Another
commentator wondered how such "research" was conducted (other
than by the obvious method of paper-wiping floors around urinals
and then comparing the wipes). [Daily Telegraph, 12-11-09]
[KPCC Radio (Pasadena, Calif.), 12-25-09]
Police Blotter
* (1) Clovis, N.M., Nov. 21: "The [grandmother], who said she
relied on a walker for mobility, said the [son-in-law] had come into
the bathroom while she was using it and had grabbed and twisted
her nose until she could hear the bones and cartilage cracking. The
man was arrested." (2) Apple Valley, Minn., Oct. 13: "Officers
responded to a report that a man was sitting on the curb in front of
his house talking to himself. When officers arrived they found a
very intoxicated man who wanted officers to drive him to
Washington, D.C., so that he could discuss the country's military
involvement in the Middle East with President Obama." [Clovis
News Journal, 11-26-09] [Star Tribune, 11-18-09]
People With Issues
* Ewwwwww! (1) Prominent eastern Idaho prosecuting attorney
Blake Hall, 56, was fired in November (and he also resigned from
a major national political position) after his conviction for stalking
an ex-girlfriend. Evidence at trial revealed that Hall had been
tossing used condoms onto the woman's lawn a total of 19
collected on 10 different days. (2) Truck driver Yuuki Oshima, 22,
was arrested in Chiba, Japan, in December after allegedly urinating
through the mail slot of a woman's apartment door on more than
one occasion. Oshima told police that he was frustrated,
apparently too shy to approach the woman and admit that he was
"crazy" about her. [Idaho Statesman, 11-9-09] [Japan Today, 12-
12-09]
Least Competent Criminals
* World's Laziest Bank Robbers: (1) In December in Cardiff
(Wales) Crown Court, James Snell was sentenced to 10 years in
prison for a bank robbery from which he made his getaway in his
own car with an easy-to-remember personalized license plate ("J4
MES"). (2) Mark McAvinew, 52, was arrested in Kansas City,
Mo., in December after allegedly robbing the Metcalf Bank and
fleeing in an A.M. Heating & Cooling company van (a business he
co-owns). (3) In November, Christopher Walker was sentenced to
two years in jail for robbing a Lloyds TSB Bank in Birmingham,
England. He had been caught within minutes, as he fled the bank
to his home across the street. [BBC News, 12-14-09] [KCTV
(Kansas City), 12-31-09] [Daily Mail, 11-27-09]
A News of the Weird Classic (May 1999)
* World's Greatest Lawyer: In May 1999 a jury in Birmingham,
Ala., ruled in favor of Barbara Carlisle and her parents in their
lawsuit against two companies responsible for charging them 18
more monthly payments than what the salesman originally
promised when they had two satellite dishes installed. The total
overcharge was $1,224. The jury awarded the plaintiffs punitive
damages of $581 million. [New York Times-AP, 5-11-99]
Thanks This Week to Sam Gaines, Tom Barker, Dave
Wickstrom, and Gary Hammond, and to the News of the Weird
Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Are you ready for News of the Weird / Pro Edition? Every
Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and
http://www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses:
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com,
and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.