News of the Weird, January 29, 2012
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Traditional bridge replacement on as prominent a highway as
Interstate 15 in Mesquite, Nev., has generally required rerouting
traffic for as long as a year, but the new "Accelerated" technology in
January necessitated detours for less than a week. Excited
engineers traveled in from around the country to watch the old
bridge demolished and the new one (which had been built on a
platform off to the side) being slid into place using hydraulic jacks
and Teflon-coated metal beams--lubricated with Dawn dishwashing
detergent to glide them smoothly into the old frame. Nevada
Department of Transportation estimated that the "Accelerated"
process saved commuters about $12 million in time and fuel costs.
[Las Vegas Sun, 1-11-2012]
The Entrepreneurial Spirit!
* "[Our critics] are absolutely right. We are professional liars," said
Everett Davis, founder of the Internet-based Reference Store, which
supplies pumped-up, but false, resumes for job-seekers having
trouble landing work. Davis and associates are, he told Houston's
KRIV-TV in November, ex-investigators schooled in deception and
therefore good at fooling human resources personnel who follow up
on the bogus work claims. Davis admitted he would even disguise a
customer's past criminal record--but not if the job is in public safety,
health care, or schools. [KRIV-TV, 11-16-2011]
* Veterinary technician and food blogger Lauren Hicks recently
inaugurated service on what is surely one of the few food trucks in
the country catering exclusively to dogs. She parks her "Sit and
Stay Cafe‚"--a retrofitted mail truck--in downtown Winter Park, Fla.,
on Thursday nights (according to an October Orlando Sentinel
report), serving gourmet organic snacks like the Poochie Sushi
(jerky), "Ruff-in" muffins, and "Mutt-balls" and "Grrr-avy," among
other specialties. [Orlando Sentinel, 10-19-2011]
* Western nations and foundations have tried for decades to build
sewage treatment plants in sub-Sahara Africa, with little success
(since many countries lack stable governments to assess operating
fees), and to this day, raw sewage is still merely collected and
dumped, either in rivers or directly onto beaches, such as the
notorious (and formerly beautiful) Lavender Hill in Ghana. U.S.
entrepreneurs recently established Waste Enterprises in Ghana to
build the first-ever fecal-sludge-to-biodiesel plant (funded by the
Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation). Feces undiluted by water, and
then heated, is highly concentrated and more resembles coal than
the goo that Americans associate with sewage. [Good Magazine
(Los Angeles), 12-1-2011]
Cutting-Edge Science
* Medical Marvels: (1) The British Medical Journal reported in
December that a 76-year-old woman had been unbothered until
recently by the felt-tip pen she accidentally swallowed 25 years
earlier. It was removed without complication, and, though the
plastic was flaky, the pen still had an ink supply and was "usable."
(2) Twice during 2011, babies with two heads were born in Brazil.
Though the first, in Paraiba state, died hours after birth, the 9.9-
pound "Emanoel" and "Jesus," born in Para state in December, are
apparently otherwise healthy. (The baby has two heads and two
spines but shares one heart, liver, pelvis, and pair of lungs.)
[MSNBC, 12-19-2011] [Daily Mail (London), 12-22-2011]
* Medical Marvels (Canine Edition): The Dogs Trust in
Kenilworth, England, was soliciting potential homes in December
for "Bentley," a Border Collie whose monophobia might make it
what the Daily Mail calls the "most cowardly" dog in the country.
While frisky around people, Bentley immediately goes into a
frightened sulk when left alone, cowering from cats, holing up
behind a couch, and constantly biting his nails, even at the sound of
a cat on television. (Bentley was recently outfitted with special
lace-up booties to preserve the nails.) [Daily Mail, 12-6-2011]
* Ratnagiri, India, businessman Murad Mulla, 48, filed a complaint
recently with the Maharashtra Medical Council after his surgeon
used an outdated procedure to cure his urine-retention disorder.
Previously, skin from the scrotum was routinely used for urethral
repair, but current science recommends using skin from the mouth
to avoid the worst-case risk, which Mulla apparently experienced.
Specifically, the scrotum contains both hair-bearing tissue and non-
hair-bearing tissue, and only the latter is usable. Evidently, Mullas's
surgeon used hair-bearing tissue, and as a result, Mulla's urethra
itches constantly, and he expels specks of pubic hair with his urine.
[The Times of India, 12-8-2011]
Leading Economic Indicators
* Bernard Madoff's Ponzi scheme cost 16,500 investors a total of as
much as $18 billion, according to the court-appointed trustee, but at
least Madoff is not on death row. In Hangzhou, China, in
November, Ji Wenhua and his brother and their father (who were
managers of the Yintai Real Estate and Investment Group) were
sentenced to death after their convictions for cheating 15,000
investors out of the equivalent of $1.1 billion. Prosecutors said the
men had continued to collect money by claiming profits while
losses mounted. [China Money Report, 11-10-2011]
* News of the Privileged: Among the high-end items catching
consumers' fancy last holiday season was premium firewood, for
those who need to burn trees for reasons beyond merely warming
the house. "Pretty white birch logs" were a best-selling item for
Paul's Fireplace Wood, of Little Falls, Minn., and the owner of J.N.
Firewood (Fort Ripley, Minn.) touted its "really cool blue flame and
crackling noises," according to a December Wall Street Journal
report. (The wood, itself, goes for well over $1 a pound, even
before adding the substantial shipping cost.) [MSNBC, 12-13-2011]
Poor Anger Management
* (1) Janet Knowles, 62, was arrested in January in Jupiter, Fla., for
aggravated assault after allegedly bludgeoning her housemate, 65,
with a hammer as they watched television. The victim said only
that Knowles was "upset with Judge Judy." (2) Michael Monsour,
the former CEO of Monsour Medical Center in Jeannette, Pa., was
charged with assaulting his brother, Dr. William Monsour, in their
father's home on New Year's Eve. In an argument, Michael
allegedly bit William's nose so hard that he required cosmetic
surgery. (Michael's temper remained untempered. The next day,
according to police, Michael sent William an e-mail threatening to
beat him "into blood pudding.") [Palm Beach Post, 1-10-2012]
[Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, 1-11-2012]
Least Competent Criminals
* Need Time in the Gym: (1) According to police in Bellingham,
Wash., William Lane, 22, had yelled slurs at a lesbian couple in the
early morning of December 11th and smashed the car window of
one of the women, but she immediately chased him down, tackled
him, and held him until help arrived. (2) Anthony Miranda, 24, was
arrested and charged with armed robbery in December in Chicago
after unknowingly choosing as his victim an "ultimate fighting"
champion. The "victim" gave Miranda two black eyes and a heavily
lacerated face, and, as Miranda drew his gun, overpowered him in
such a way that Miranda wound up shooting himself in the ankle.
[Bellingham Herald, 12-13-2011] [WLS Radio, 12-5-2011]
* Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) Keith Savinelli, 21, was arrested
in Gallatin County, Mont., in December and charged with attempted
burglary involving a woman's underwear. When the resident caught
Savinelli in the act, he attempted to talk her out of reporting him by
apologizing and handing her his voter registration card, but she
called police, anyway. (2) A 25-year-old man was rescued by fire
crews in Tranent, Scotland, in December and taken to Edinburgh
Royal Infirmary. According to police, four men were attempting to
steal an eight-ton steamroller when the 25-year-old got his leg
trapped underneath. The other three fled. [STV (Glasgow), 12-19-
2011]
Update
* Prominent novelist Michael Peterson was convicted in 2003 of
beating his wife to death with a fireplace poker, but he, assisted by a
former neighbor, has maintained since then that she was killed by a
rogue owl. In 2008, for the first time, North Carolina state
investigators acknowledged that a microscopic feather was indeed
found in her hair, and in December 2011, Durham County Judge
Orlando Hudson granted Peterson a new trial. Although several owl
experts have declared that the wife's head trauma was consistent
with an owl attack, the judge's decision was based instead on a
finding last year that the state crime lab had mishandled evidence in
34 cases and specifically that an investigator in the Peterson case
had exaggerated his credentials to the jury. (A 2007 fictionalized
movie and a 2006 NBC "Dateline" also gave durability to the owl
theory.) [MSNBC, 12-14-2011]
Thanks This Week to Wil Howitt, Tom Headley, Bill Van
Dyke, Tommy Clouser, and Gary Goodemote, and to the News of
the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
*****
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