News of the Weird, April 18, 2010
6 views
Skip to first unread message
Chuck Shepherd
Apr 19, 2010, 2:26:00 PM4/19/10
to newsoft...@googlegroups.com
WEIRDNUZ.M158 (News of the Weird, April 18, 2010)
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2010 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* A new sports center in Mexico City will be devoted to the revival
of ancient, Aztec- and Mayan-created games that are rarely played
in Mexico because they are dangerous, including a field-hockey-like
competition played with a fireball. In another game, "pelota
mixteca," players wearing metal-knuckled leather gloves punch a
two-pound, hard-rubber ball that could knock opponents
unconscious. One thrill of the flaming-ball game, "pelota
purepecha," is that some play it at night on unlighted fields. (In
Mayan culture, according to a March USA Today dispatch, the
world began with the gods challenging two humans to a ball game,
and beating them, at which point the two die and are resurrected as
the sun and moon.) [USA Today, 3-29-10]
Democracy in Action
* Felon-Candidates: (1) John White, now running for sheriff in
Roundup, Mont., will be unable to carry a gun if he wins because
of a long-ago bank robbery conviction). (2) Convicted felons might
be running against each other if they win their primaries in May for
county judge-executive in Hindman, Ky. Democrat Donnie
Newsome and Republican Randy Thompson were both convicted of
election fraud (though Thompson's case is still on appeal). (3)
Cynthia Diaz was re-elected Town Clerk in Coventry, Vt., in March
though still facing 10 felony personal tax-filing counts. (The Town
Clerk is the town's treasurer, delinquent-tax collector, and trustee of
public money). [Billings Gazette, 3-19-10] [Lexington Herald
Leader, 1-29-10] [Newport (Vt.) Daily Express, 3-3-10]
* The U.S. Senate passed a bill in March to correct a misimpression
Congress had in the 1990s when it instituted mandatory sentences
for crack-cocaine possession that were about 100 times the
sentences for powdered cocaine. Scientists long ago pointed out
that the two substances are chemically the same, and the new
provisions set crack-cocaine sentences at only about 18 times those
for powder. [National Public Radio, 3-18-10]
* Tackling the Big Issues: (1) The Utah legislature passed a bill in
March to, for the first time, legalize the personal collection of rain
water. "Harvesting" rain has been illegal, but now would be
allowed, with a state permit, in special state-approved containers.
(2) The Tennessee legislature is considering removing a
longstanding ban on fish tanks in barbershops. Currently, no
"animals, birds, or fish" (except seeing-eye dogs) are permitted
where hair is cut. Opponents said they don't mind aquariums but
fear that trendy pedicures by nibbling fish (now in New York and
Los Angeles salons) might come to Tennessee. [KIFI-TV (Idaho
Falls)-AP, 3-3-10] [The Tennessean-AP, 2-24-10]
Government Stalks the Weakest
* On January 29th, more than 200 Alabama state troopers were
amassed at 4 a.m. for the purpose of raiding several illegal bingo
parlors. The raids were eventually called off, but a University of
Alabama professor estimated the staging cost to the budget-
shriveled state at $130,000. Said a spokesman for Gov. Bob Riley,
"No matter what it costs, the law must be enforced." [Birmingham
News-AP, 1-29-10]
* A December Seattle Times profile of Rachel Porcaro (a single
mother with an $18,000-a-year hair-cutting job, raising two kids,
living with her parents) centered on IRS's year-long, full-blown
audit of her, and subsequently, of her parents, because she was
flagged for earning too little money on which to raise a family in
Seattle. Ultimately, Rachel and her parents prevailed on every issue
except the Earned Income Tax Credit, in that Rachel's kids receive a
little too much help from the parents for her to qualify. [Seattle
Times, 12-6-09]
Some People Seem to Need a Prophet
* Raj Patel's recent appearance on Comedy Central's "The Colbert
Report" was ostensibly based around his work on global poverty
and food production, but followers of an 87-year-old Scottish
mystic named Benjamin Creme received a different message that
Patel was the long-awaited messiah that Creme had been promising
would appear to unite humanity. Overwhelmed by the followers
during a recent book-signing tour, according to a March profile in
London's Guardian, Patel made public denials of any messianic role
(which of course only confirmed the sect's certainty that he is the
man) and engaged a few in conversation, but, he said, talking to
them "made me really depressed, actually." [The Guardian, 3-19-10]
Police Report
* How much can shoplifter stuff in his pants? A man seen on
surveillance video at a Mobil On The Run convenience store in
Bloomfield, Conn., in February fled after stuffing at least 17 cans of
Red Bull energy drink down his pants. And in Cairns, Australia, a
51-year-old man was caught shoplifting in March, witnessed by
security staff putting three limes and a package of beef tongue in his
pants. When cornered, the man (like clowns exiting a clown car)
pulled out an additional two onions, three trays of rump steaks, and
a packet of lamb forequarter chops. [WLBZ-TV (Bangor, Maine),
2-25-10] [Cairns Post, 3-16-10]
When "Detention" Is Not Enough
* (1) Schoolteacher Lucia Carico, who has been in good standing in
Hawkins County, Tenn., schools since 1973, was fired in March
over an incident in which she stabbed a 7th-grade student in the arm
seven times with a pen (because, she said, he had been unruly,
singing and passing gas.) (2) Teacher Randolphe Forde was fired in
January by the Clayton County, Ga., school board for an October
incident in which he allegedly "put a hit" on an 11th-grade student
(offering $50). [WJHL-TV (Johnson City), 3-19-10] [Atlanta
Journal-Constitution, 1-12-10]
The Pervo-American Community
* Sex for One: (1) In February, police in Upper Darby, Pa., said
they had to delay processing accused molester Siri Pinnya, 36,
because he would not stop masturbating. Said the police
superintendent, "We only fingerprinted his left hand." (2) Martin
Guerrero, 17, was eventually arrested in his W.T. White High
School classroom in Dallas, Tex., in December after the teacher
noticed him staring off into space. When she approached his desk,
he shouted "Ay Mami" and continued masturbating. (3) Shanna
Vonfeldt was fired from her job at KUSA Aviation in Beaumont,
Tex., but claimed in a lawsuit filed in January that she left only
because of boss Kyle Knupple's habit of masturbating in the office.
[Philadelphia Daily News, 2-19-10] [Dallas Morning News, 12-16-
09] [Houston Press, 1-13-10]
The Classic Middle Name (all-new!)
* Arrested recently and awaiting trial for murder: Russell Wayne
Upton, Jr., Reno, Nev., March (charged at last in a 1995 murder);
Kenneth Wayne Scott, Fort Worth, Tex., March; John Wayne
Wilson, Bethel Springs, Tenn., March; Robert Wayne Hurst,
Knoxville, Tenn., January; Bart Wayne Johnson, Pelham, Ala.,
December. Murder Trial Completed, Awaiting Delayed Judgment:
Steven Wayne Hillier, Canberra, Australia, April. Convicted of
murder: Kevin Wayne Dunigan, Sacramento, Calif., November;
Michael Wayne Wesley, Eugene, Ore., November. Appeal Denied:
Kelly Wayne Dozier, Houston, Tex., April (convicted of a 2006
murder).
Upton: [Reno Gazette Journal, 3-26-10]
Scott: [Fort Worth Star-Telegram, 3-30-10]
Wilson: [Jackson (Tenn.) Sun, 3-24-10]
Hurst: [Knoxville Daily News, 1-14-10]
Johnson: [Birmingham News, 12-4-09]
Hillier: [Canberra Times, 4-7-10]
Dunigan: [Sacramento Bee, 11-12-09]
Wesley: [KGW-TV (Portland)-AP, 11-26-09]
Dozier: [Dozier vs. State, Court of Appeals of Texas, 4-1-10]
.M130
Rednecks on Parade
* (1) Itinerant contractor Billie Bobbie Harrison, 24, was charged in
Spartanburg, S.C., with indecent exposure in February, after he
approached a homeowner, lowered his pants, and offered to pave
her driveway later if she would have sex with him. (2) Hemingway,
S.C., police, responding in March to shots fired at the BT Express
gas station, apprehended James Scott after he and Jackie Dollard
had finished cleaning a chicken. Witnesses said Scott and Dollard
fought over who got to keep the chicken. [WSPA-TV
(Spartanburg), 2-17-10] [WBTW-TV (Myrtle Beach), 3-24-10]
A News of the Weird Classic (July 1998)
* Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson told his "700 Club" TV
audience in June (1998) that the city of Orlando, Fla., was taking a
big risk to sponsor the recent "Gay Days" festival. "I would warn
Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes," he
said, "and I don't think I'd be waving those [Gay Days logo] flags in
God's face if I were you." Homosexuality, he said, "will bring about
terrorist bombs, it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a
meteor." (In fact, 1998's first hurricane, Bonnie, made landfall two
months later in North Carolina, near the Virginia Beach, Va.,
headquarters of Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network.) [AP
wirecopy, 6-10-98]
Thanks This Week to John Beyrau, Bob McCabe, Ken
Wilder, Billy Ray, and Jim Dukes, and to the News of the Weird
Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Are you ready for News of the Weird / Pro Edition? Every
Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com
http://www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses:
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com,
and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.
--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "NewsoftheWeird" group.
To post to this group, send email to newsoft...@googlegroups.com.
To unsubscribe from this group, send email to newsoftheweir...@googlegroups.com.
For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/newsoftheweird?hl=en.
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2010 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* A new sports center in Mexico City will be devoted to the revival
of ancient, Aztec- and Mayan-created games that are rarely played
in Mexico because they are dangerous, including a field-hockey-like
competition played with a fireball. In another game, "pelota
mixteca," players wearing metal-knuckled leather gloves punch a
two-pound, hard-rubber ball that could knock opponents
unconscious. One thrill of the flaming-ball game, "pelota
purepecha," is that some play it at night on unlighted fields. (In
Mayan culture, according to a March USA Today dispatch, the
world began with the gods challenging two humans to a ball game,
and beating them, at which point the two die and are resurrected as
the sun and moon.) [USA Today, 3-29-10]
Democracy in Action
* Felon-Candidates: (1) John White, now running for sheriff in
Roundup, Mont., will be unable to carry a gun if he wins because
of a long-ago bank robbery conviction). (2) Convicted felons might
be running against each other if they win their primaries in May for
county judge-executive in Hindman, Ky. Democrat Donnie
Newsome and Republican Randy Thompson were both convicted of
election fraud (though Thompson's case is still on appeal). (3)
Cynthia Diaz was re-elected Town Clerk in Coventry, Vt., in March
though still facing 10 felony personal tax-filing counts. (The Town
Clerk is the town's treasurer, delinquent-tax collector, and trustee of
public money). [Billings Gazette, 3-19-10] [Lexington Herald
Leader, 1-29-10] [Newport (Vt.) Daily Express, 3-3-10]
* The U.S. Senate passed a bill in March to correct a misimpression
Congress had in the 1990s when it instituted mandatory sentences
for crack-cocaine possession that were about 100 times the
sentences for powdered cocaine. Scientists long ago pointed out
that the two substances are chemically the same, and the new
provisions set crack-cocaine sentences at only about 18 times those
for powder. [National Public Radio, 3-18-10]
* Tackling the Big Issues: (1) The Utah legislature passed a bill in
March to, for the first time, legalize the personal collection of rain
water. "Harvesting" rain has been illegal, but now would be
allowed, with a state permit, in special state-approved containers.
(2) The Tennessee legislature is considering removing a
longstanding ban on fish tanks in barbershops. Currently, no
"animals, birds, or fish" (except seeing-eye dogs) are permitted
where hair is cut. Opponents said they don't mind aquariums but
fear that trendy pedicures by nibbling fish (now in New York and
Los Angeles salons) might come to Tennessee. [KIFI-TV (Idaho
Falls)-AP, 3-3-10] [The Tennessean-AP, 2-24-10]
Government Stalks the Weakest
* On January 29th, more than 200 Alabama state troopers were
amassed at 4 a.m. for the purpose of raiding several illegal bingo
parlors. The raids were eventually called off, but a University of
Alabama professor estimated the staging cost to the budget-
shriveled state at $130,000. Said a spokesman for Gov. Bob Riley,
"No matter what it costs, the law must be enforced." [Birmingham
News-AP, 1-29-10]
* A December Seattle Times profile of Rachel Porcaro (a single
mother with an $18,000-a-year hair-cutting job, raising two kids,
living with her parents) centered on IRS's year-long, full-blown
audit of her, and subsequently, of her parents, because she was
flagged for earning too little money on which to raise a family in
Seattle. Ultimately, Rachel and her parents prevailed on every issue
except the Earned Income Tax Credit, in that Rachel's kids receive a
little too much help from the parents for her to qualify. [Seattle
Times, 12-6-09]
Some People Seem to Need a Prophet
* Raj Patel's recent appearance on Comedy Central's "The Colbert
Report" was ostensibly based around his work on global poverty
and food production, but followers of an 87-year-old Scottish
mystic named Benjamin Creme received a different message that
Patel was the long-awaited messiah that Creme had been promising
would appear to unite humanity. Overwhelmed by the followers
during a recent book-signing tour, according to a March profile in
London's Guardian, Patel made public denials of any messianic role
(which of course only confirmed the sect's certainty that he is the
man) and engaged a few in conversation, but, he said, talking to
them "made me really depressed, actually." [The Guardian, 3-19-10]
Police Report
* How much can shoplifter stuff in his pants? A man seen on
surveillance video at a Mobil On The Run convenience store in
Bloomfield, Conn., in February fled after stuffing at least 17 cans of
Red Bull energy drink down his pants. And in Cairns, Australia, a
51-year-old man was caught shoplifting in March, witnessed by
security staff putting three limes and a package of beef tongue in his
pants. When cornered, the man (like clowns exiting a clown car)
pulled out an additional two onions, three trays of rump steaks, and
a packet of lamb forequarter chops. [WLBZ-TV (Bangor, Maine),
2-25-10] [Cairns Post, 3-16-10]
When "Detention" Is Not Enough
* (1) Schoolteacher Lucia Carico, who has been in good standing in
Hawkins County, Tenn., schools since 1973, was fired in March
over an incident in which she stabbed a 7th-grade student in the arm
seven times with a pen (because, she said, he had been unruly,
singing and passing gas.) (2) Teacher Randolphe Forde was fired in
January by the Clayton County, Ga., school board for an October
incident in which he allegedly "put a hit" on an 11th-grade student
(offering $50). [WJHL-TV (Johnson City), 3-19-10] [Atlanta
Journal-Constitution, 1-12-10]
The Pervo-American Community
* Sex for One: (1) In February, police in Upper Darby, Pa., said
they had to delay processing accused molester Siri Pinnya, 36,
because he would not stop masturbating. Said the police
superintendent, "We only fingerprinted his left hand." (2) Martin
Guerrero, 17, was eventually arrested in his W.T. White High
School classroom in Dallas, Tex., in December after the teacher
noticed him staring off into space. When she approached his desk,
he shouted "Ay Mami" and continued masturbating. (3) Shanna
Vonfeldt was fired from her job at KUSA Aviation in Beaumont,
Tex., but claimed in a lawsuit filed in January that she left only
because of boss Kyle Knupple's habit of masturbating in the office.
[Philadelphia Daily News, 2-19-10] [Dallas Morning News, 12-16-
09] [Houston Press, 1-13-10]
The Classic Middle Name (all-new!)
* Arrested recently and awaiting trial for murder: Russell Wayne
Upton, Jr., Reno, Nev., March (charged at last in a 1995 murder);
Kenneth Wayne Scott, Fort Worth, Tex., March; John Wayne
Wilson, Bethel Springs, Tenn., March; Robert Wayne Hurst,
Knoxville, Tenn., January; Bart Wayne Johnson, Pelham, Ala.,
December. Murder Trial Completed, Awaiting Delayed Judgment:
Steven Wayne Hillier, Canberra, Australia, April. Convicted of
murder: Kevin Wayne Dunigan, Sacramento, Calif., November;
Michael Wayne Wesley, Eugene, Ore., November. Appeal Denied:
Kelly Wayne Dozier, Houston, Tex., April (convicted of a 2006
murder).
Upton: [Reno Gazette Journal, 3-26-10]
Scott: [Fort Worth Star-Telegram, 3-30-10]
Wilson: [Jackson (Tenn.) Sun, 3-24-10]
Hurst: [Knoxville Daily News, 1-14-10]
Johnson: [Birmingham News, 12-4-09]
Hillier: [Canberra Times, 4-7-10]
Dunigan: [Sacramento Bee, 11-12-09]
Wesley: [KGW-TV (Portland)-AP, 11-26-09]
Dozier: [Dozier vs. State, Court of Appeals of Texas, 4-1-10]
.M130
Rednecks on Parade
* (1) Itinerant contractor Billie Bobbie Harrison, 24, was charged in
Spartanburg, S.C., with indecent exposure in February, after he
approached a homeowner, lowered his pants, and offered to pave
her driveway later if she would have sex with him. (2) Hemingway,
S.C., police, responding in March to shots fired at the BT Express
gas station, apprehended James Scott after he and Jackie Dollard
had finished cleaning a chicken. Witnesses said Scott and Dollard
fought over who got to keep the chicken. [WSPA-TV
(Spartanburg), 2-17-10] [WBTW-TV (Myrtle Beach), 3-24-10]
A News of the Weird Classic (July 1998)
* Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson told his "700 Club" TV
audience in June (1998) that the city of Orlando, Fla., was taking a
big risk to sponsor the recent "Gay Days" festival. "I would warn
Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes," he
said, "and I don't think I'd be waving those [Gay Days logo] flags in
God's face if I were you." Homosexuality, he said, "will bring about
terrorist bombs, it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a
meteor." (In fact, 1998's first hurricane, Bonnie, made landfall two
months later in North Carolina, near the Virginia Beach, Va.,
headquarters of Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network.) [AP
wirecopy, 6-10-98]
Thanks This Week to John Beyrau, Bob McCabe, Ken
Wilder, Billy Ray, and Jim Dukes, and to the News of the Weird
Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Are you ready for News of the Weird / Pro Edition? Every
Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com
http://www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses:
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com,
and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.
--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "NewsoftheWeird" group.
To post to this group, send email to newsoft...@googlegroups.com.
To unsubscribe from this group, send email to newsoftheweir...@googlegroups.com.
For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/newsoftheweird?hl=en.
Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages