News of the Weird, April 8, 2012
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Like most states with active trade associations of barbers and
beauticians, Iowa strictly regulates those professions, requiring
2,100 hours of training plus continuing education--but also like
many other states, Iowa does not regulate body piercers at all
(though it forbids minors from getting tattoos). Thus, the
puncturing of body parts and insertion of jewelry or other objects
under the skin can be done by anyone, with or without formal
training, under no one's watchful eye except the customer's. (A few
cities' ordinances require a minimum age to get pierced.) Said one
professional piercer to the Des Moines Register for a March report,
"The lack of education in this industry is scary." [Des Moines
Register, 3-11-2012]
Government in Action
* Controlling the Waters: (1) A February bill in the Wyoming
legislature to prepare the state for possible secession authorized a
task force to consider establishing a state army, navy, marine corps,
and air force, and one amendment added the consideration of
purchasing an aircraft carrier. Wyoming is, of course, landlocked,
but it does have the 136-square-mile Yellowstone Lake, though that
body of water is high up in the Teton mountains. (The aircraft-
carrier amendment was defeated even though 27 Representatives
voted for it.) (2) Texas announced in February that it would deploy
six gunboats to patrol the Mexican border's Rio Grande river. Said
a state Department of Safety official, "It sends a message: Don't
mess with Texas." [Billings Gazette, 2-27-2012] [CNN, 2-29-2012]
* With a National Institute of Justice grant, the Houston (Tex.)
Police Department was able to learn precisely how embarrassingly
bad it had been in investigating rape cases. In February it conceded
that, as of December, it had on hand 6,663 untested rape kits (some
from the 1980s) taken from rape victims at the time of the crime but
then apparently ignored. (Not all are significant: In some rapes, a
perpetrator has already confessed or been convicted, and still other
victims recanted, and in still others, the statute of limitations has run
out.) [KPRC-TV, 2-14-2012]
* After every snowfall in recent years, Doug Rochow of Ottawa,
Ontario, has routinely taken his shovel and cleared two paths in a
park near his home (since the park is apparently a low priority for
municipal snow-clearing), but in March, the city ordered him to
stop. Rochow said his aim was to keep people from hurting
themselves on uncleared paths (thus perhaps saving the city money
on lawsuits). The city's reverse-logic position, according to a
Toronto Star report, was that if Rochow cleared the paths, more
people would be encouraged to use them, increasing the city's
exposure to lawsuits. [Toronto Star, 3-5-2012]
Great Art!
* It wasn't on a scale with an infinite number of orangutans using an
infinite number of iPads, but the conservation group Orangutan
Outreach has begun to supply certain zoos with iPads, hoping to
encourage apes' creativity and social-networking. At the Milwaukee
Zoo, a handler holds the device while an orangutan operates a
painting app with its fingers. ("Orangutans like to paint, and they're
capable of using this [tablet]," he said, adding the benefit that
"there's no paint to eat.") At the Memphis Zoo recently, said an
Outreach official, the apes seem happy when they recognize images
of other apes on the iPad. The Toronto Zoo's iPad is expected soon.
[Toronto Star, 2-29-2012]
* In March came word from Taiwan that the prominent Kaohsiung
Museum of Fine Arts had awarded a prize worth the equivalent of
$13,500 to student Wong Tin Cheung for creating the face of a man
by using the artist's own urine. His piece, "Blood Urine Man,"
presented to judges in a toilet bowl, used urine of different colors,
supposedly to match the pigments of the Marvel Comics superhero
Iron Man. [Newser, 3-19-2012]
Police Report
* Difficult Fact-Check: According to the Utah Highway Patrol, a
one-car crash in February left the following injured in serious
condition: Ms. Me Htwe and Mr. Hsar Kpaw Doh and Mr. W. T.
Htoo, along with the driver, Mr. Tar Eh. (Ms. Mula Er, 14, died of
her injuries.) All were from Heber City, Utah. [Salt Lake Tribune,
2-28-2012]
* "[E]very single cop in the state has done this. Chiefs on down."
That practice, referred to by the unidentified Minnesota law
enforcement officer, is the personal use of the police database that is
supposedly off-limits for all except official business. According to
an imminent lawsuit (reported by the weekly City Pages in
Minneapolis), former officer (and apparently still a "hottie") Anne
Marie Rasmusson, 37, learned that 104 officers in 18 different
agencies in Minnesota had accessed her driver's license record 425
times. Rasmusson's lawyer said the reality is that officers tend to
treat the confidential database more like a "Facebook for cops."
[City Pages, 2-22-2012]
Hot Commodity in Pennsylvania
* (1) In January, police in Bridgeville, Pa., investigated a series of
vehicle break-ins, including one of a car belonging to Kathy
Saunoras, who reported that only her dentures were taken. (2) Two
weeks later, health worker Marlene Dupert, 44, was charged with
yanking dentures out of the mouth of one of her charges at a nursing
home in Selinsgrove, Pa. (3) Also in February, Evelyn Fuller, 49,
was charged with robbing the First National Bank in Waynesburg,
Pa.--a crime necessitated, she told a police officer, because she
needed money for new dentures. [Associated Press via WPVI-TV
(Philadelphia), 2-26-2012] [Daily Item (Sunbury, Pa.), 2-18-2012]
[Observer-Reporter (Washington, Pa.), 2-1-2012]
People With Issues
* Only the Lonely: Adrian Baltierra, 51, was charged with
solicitation in February in Bradenton, Fla., after, according to
police, he approached an undercover female officer, who was
posing as a prostitute, and agreed to a transaction. In exchange for
$15, Baltierra would be accorded the opportunity to take a whiff of
the "prostitute"'s genital aroma (although street slang was used in
the negotiation). [The Smoking Gun, 2-27-2012]
Least Competent Criminals
* (1) Didn't See It Coming: Canadian Jasmin Klair pleaded guilty
in federal court in Seattle in March to smuggling nearly 11kg of
cocaine into the U.S. She had been arrested upon arrival at a bed
and breakfast called the Smuggler's Inn, located about 100 feet from
the border in Blaine, Wash. (2) Greedy: According to police in
Lake Ariel, Pa., alleged burglar Christopher Wallace had loaded his
van with goodies from a home's first floor but instead of calling it a
night, he re-entered to check out the second floor. Wallace was
later rushed to the hospital after accidentally falling out a second-
floor window, resulting in a broken back, hip, and arm. [News
Tribune (Tacoma, Wash.), 3-20-2012] [Wayne Independent
(Honesdale, Pa.), 3-19-2012]
Recurring Themes
* Fathers of Our Country: News of the Weird has reported on
several prolific men who sell their sperm to sperm banks, to be
selected from catalogs by multiple mothers-to-be seeking high-
quality breeding (and also one case of a middle-aged physician who
collected women's money to find donors but then decided to self-
supply his clients). Fremont, Calif., computer-security worker Trent
Arsenault, 36, is America's most notorious "rogue" donor, offering
his output absolutely free to same-sex and low-income clients who
have difficulty procuring through sperm banks. He is so far the
father of at least 15 children. Since 2010, the federal Food and
Drug Administration has been trying to shut him down as an
unregistered "manufacturer" of body tissue who must therefore
adhere to federal safety regulations. Arsenault, according to a
profile in New York magazine in February, is the son of
disapproving parents (father, a Pentecostal minister), and in
addition, is a virgin. [New York Daily News, 12-9-2011; New York
magazine, 2-13-2012]
Undignified Deaths
* On March 3rd, police in Lantale, Sri Lanka, found the body of
Janaka Basnayake, 24, who with the help of friends had buried
himself in a 10-foot-deep trench for an attempt to set a "world
record" for the longest time buried alive. Clearly, his 6-1/2 hours
underground was too ambitious. An Associated Press report noted
that it was "unclear" whether an "official" record exists in this
category. [Associated Press via Huffington Post, 3-5-2012]
Thanks This Week to John Cohen, Steve Dunn, Brian
Bjolin, Gary Locke, John Connell, Pete Randall, Skip Mendler, and
John Votel, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial
Advisors.
* * * * *
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com,
and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.