News of the Weird, January 20, 2013

[Chuck Shepherd]

WEIRDNUZ.M302 (News of the Weird, January 20, 2013)
by Chuck Shepherd

Copyright 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

* "Fulton Jail Will Get Working Cell Locks," read the December
19th Atlanta Journal-Constitution headline. The County
Commission serving Atlanta had finally voted to break a
longstanding 3-3 tie that prevented buying new jailhouse locks--
even while knowing that inmates could jimmy the old ones at will
and roam the facilities, threatening and assaulting suspects and
guards. The three recalcitrant commissioners were being spiteful
because a federal judge had ordered various improvements to the
jail, costing so far $140 million, and the three vowed to spend no
more. The 1,300 replacement locks will cost about $5 million--but
will not be installed right away. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 12-
19-2012]

The Entrepreneurial Spirit!

* The Chinese fashion designer "Ms. Lv" told China Newsweek in
November that her sales had "quintupled" since she began using her
72-year-old grandfather to model her clothing styles for girls.
"[It's] helping my granddaughter," Liu Xianping said. "I'm very
old," he said, and "I have nothing to lose." [China Newsweek via
New York Daily News, 11-20-2012]

* Challenging Business Plans: (1) British "medical illustrator"
Emily Evans recently created a set of four pricy, bone-china dinner
plates emblazoned with the microscope images of tissue slides of
the human liver, thyroid, esophagus, and testicles ($60 per plate,
$200 for the set). (2) In October, a shop in London's St. Bart's
Pathology Museum ran a special sale of cupcakes as part of a
sexually transmitted disease awareness campaign. Each pastry's
icing was crafted to resemble the lesions, boils, and warts of
gonorrhea and other maladies. [Daily Mail (London), 12-13-2012]
[The Sun (London), 10-22-2012]

* Leading a "jerky renaissance" is Krave, a Sonoma, Calif.,
company creating non-traditional flavors such as turkey jerky and
jerky flavored with basil citrus or lemon garlic. Actually, Krave
points out, jerky is rich in protein, with low calories and fat (but
with, admittedly, sky-high sodium) and could be reasonably pitched
as a healthy snack. However, jerky's main obstacle (a Krave
competitor's CEO told the Wall Street Journal in September) is
"jerky shame," in which some male consumers remain mortified
that their girlfriends might see them enjoying the snack. [Wall
Street Journal, 9-26-2012]

Science on the Cutting Edge

* Behold, the "McGyver" Spider: Biologist Phil Torres, working
from the Tambopata national park in Peru, revealed in December
that he had witnessed a tiny Cyclosa-family spider construct a
replica of an eight-legged spider in a web but made only of leaves,
debris, and dead insects. Since the real spider was found nearby,
Torres hypothesized that the wily arachnid had built a decoy to
confuse predators. [News.com.au (Sydney, Australia), 12-19-2012]

* Artist Maria Fernanda Cardoso, already known for her "circus" of
performing fleas at Australia's Sydney Festival 10 years ago, has
since become a legitimate academic expert on the sex organs of
fleas and other insects. She debuted the Museum of Copulatory
Organs last year near Sydney, teaching visitors such esoteria as: In
many insect species, females are promiscuous; and snails are
hermaphrodites in which one shoots sperm "darts" that form rigid
chastity-belt-like blockages on his mate; and a male flea copulates
for eight hours straight (but only mates three times in his life).
[Sydney Morning Herald, 4-21-2012]

Awe-Inspiring Animals

* A team of French researchers writing recently in the journal PLOS
ONE described a species of European catfish, growing to a length of
five feet, that feeds itself pigeons by lunging out of the water ("cat"-
like) and snatching them in flight, even if the leap carries them to
shore. Like Argentinian killer whales, the catfish are able to remain
on land for a few seconds while wriggling back into the water where
they can enjoy their meal. The lead researcher said he filmed 54
catfish attacks, of which 15 were successful.
[DiscoverMagazine.com, 12-5-2012]

Leading Economic Indicators

* Another "Airline-Pricing" Model: The Jiangdu District
kindergarten recognizes that providing a quality education requires
supporting the child emotionally as well as helping develop reading
and other skills, and toward that end, it now requires teachers to hug
each pupil twice a day--provided that the parent has paid the
monthly "hugging fee" of the equivalent of about $12.80. An
education agency investigation is underway, according to a
December Shanghai Daily report, but one teacher defended the trial
program as boosting a child's confidence and establishing a "good
mood" for learning. [Shanghai Daily, 12-12-2012]

Perspective

* First-World Crisis (I): Tufts University opened America's first
animal obesity clinic at its hospital in North Grafton, Mass., in
September, to supply nutrition information and to help owners
develop weight-loss regimens for their pets. Without treatment,
veterinarians told the Tufts Daily newspaper, pet obesity can lead to
pancreatitis, joint disorders, and skin disease. One of its first clients
was a golden retriever (a breed known for its desire to run but also
known for its adaptability to non-running lifestyles), who now
requires $90 prescription dog food--though the owner reports that
his best friend has lost eight pounds and is thus almost halfway to
his goal of 87. [Tufts Daily, 9-21-2012]

* First-World Crisis (II): Researchers writing in the December
issue of the journal Urology reported a "five-fold increase" over ten
years in emergency room visits for accidents caused by pubic-hair
"grooming." Unsurprisingly, 83 percent of all injuries appeared to
be shaving accidents, but only 56 percent of the patients were
women, according to a summary of the research on
MedicalXPress.com. [MedicalXPress.com, 12-17-2012]

Least Competent Criminals

* Demarco Thomas, 30, was arrested in Tucson, Ariz., in
November, as a drug courier for what the Arizona Daily Star called
a "local cartel," after Thomas himself had called police the day
before. Thomas feared being whacked by the cartel because he had
come up $20,000 short in the latest delivery. According to police,
Thomas brought money in suitcases from North Carolina to his
Tucson contact--except for a little bit that he had somehow
"misplaced." A police search of Thomas revealed almost exactly
$20,000 on his person, and Thomas, about to be arrested, allegedly
asked officers if they would please write a note to the cartel
informing them that police had merely seized the $20,000--and not
that Thomas had tried to steal it. They declined. [Arizona Daily
Star, 12-4-2012]

* Prosecutor's Delight: (1) Police in Guntersville, Ala., suspected
that Tara Hampton had resumed dealing drugs, in violation of a first-
offender's program that had kept her out of jail, and they knocked
on her door to ask about some evidence they had come across.
According to the police report, when Hampton opened the door for
them, she was absent-mindedly holding a bag of marijuana in her
hand. (2) William Cook, Jr., 27, was arrested after a manager at a
Wendy's restaurant in Rome, Ga., complained that Cook was acting
strange and disturbing customers, and when police asked for his ID,
he provided bogus information. In a search, officers found a note in
his pocket, reading, "How Bill Cook intends to rob the Wendy's on
Martha Berry and get away with it," followed by lists labeled "Plan
A" and "Plan B." [WAFF-TV (Huntsville, Ala.), 12-10-2012]
[Rome News-Tribune, 12-12-2012]

Readers' Choice

* (1) Unlucky Gary Haines, 59, was arrested in December in
Charlotte County, Fla., after he was spotted stealing a trailer by
hitching it to his own truck and driving off with it. The "spotter"
was the trailer's owner, David Zehntner, who was out flying in his
private plane and happened to be passing over his property at the
moment Haines was hitching up. He easily followed Haines from
the air and called in Haines's destination to police. (2) Jason
Dejesus, 36, and Chanelle Troedson, 33, who share an upscale
4,600 square-foot home (with pool and courts for playing tennis and
beach volleyball) in Morgan Hill, Calif., were arrested in December
and charged with luring a 50-year-old handyman to their home,
forcibly detaining him, and requiring him to make various repairs
for them over a six-hour period (before he managed to escape and
notify police.) [WWSB-TV (Sarasota), 12-31-2012] [KPIX-TV
(San Francisco), 12-5-2012]

Thanks This Week to Bill Bloxham, Bruce Hilpert, Michael
Waugh, Tim Kirby, Grady Bautista, Cherie Marcus, Peter
Smagorinsky, Beth Anne Wasdin, and Dick Sonier, and to the News
of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

* * * * *
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.net
(almost daily), and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.