News of the Weird, October 16, 2011
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2011 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Bureaucrat's Delight: An update of the official index for
classifying medical conditions (for research and quality control, and
for insurance claims) was released recently, to take effect in October
2013, and replaced the current 18,000 codes with 140,000 much
more specific ones. A September Wall Street Journal report noted,
for example, 72 different codes for injuries involving birds,
depending on the type. "Bitten by turtle" is different from "struck
by turtle." Different codes cover injuries in "opera houses," on
squash courts, and exactly where in or around a mobile home an
injury occurred. "Walked into lamppost, initial encounter" is
distinct from "walked into lamppost, subsequent encounter." Codes
cover conditions stemming from encounters with extraterrestrials
and conditions resulting from "burn due to water-skis on fire."
"Bizarre personal appearance" has a code, as well as "very low level
of personal hygiene." [Wall Street Journal, 9-13-2011]
Ironies
* A small number of environmental and animal rights activists
employ violence and physical threats in attempts to achieve their
goals, and similar tactics have recently been used by another group
bent on intimidating scientists: sufferers of "chronic fatigue
syndrome." London's Observer reported in August that medical
researchers who even suggest that the illness might have a
"psychological" component have been subject to vitriolic abuse,
stalking, disruptions to the scientists' workplaces, and even death
threats. In at least one case, the activists succeeded: A psychiatry
professor said he had moved his area of research from chronic
fatigue to Gulf War syndrome. "That has taken me to Iraq and
Afghanistan where . . . I feel a lot safer." [The Observer, 8-21-2011]
* Political Correctness Lives: British authorities threatened Iain
Turnbull, 63, with a fine (equivalent of $1,530) in August because
he refused to complete the mandatory census earlier this year.
Turnbull, from Wales, was protesting that the government,
intending to be progressively "inclusive," made available census
questionnaires and instructions in such languages as Urdu, Punjabi,
and Tagalog--but not Welsh (one of Britain's native languages,
spoken by a half-million citizens). [BBC News, 8-12-2011]
* Although the Patriot Act, drafted in the days after 9-11 and
quickly enacted into law, was designed expressly to give
prosecutors more leeway to challenge suspected terrorism, one of its
key provisions has since then been used more than 100 times as
often for drug investigations as for terrorism. New York magazine
reported in September that "sneak and peek" warrants (enabling
searches without notifying the targets) have been obtained only 15
times for terrorism threats but 1,618 times in drug cases. [New
York, 8-27-2011]
The Litigious Society
* In 2009 Diane Schuler, with a 0.19 blood-alcohol reading (and
marijuana in her system), drove the wrong way for two miles on a
New York freeway, finally crashing into another car, killing three
people and herself. In July 2011, her widower Dave Schuler filed a
lawsuit against the state, alleging that the collision was the state's
fault for not posting signs warning motorists like Diane Schuler that
they were going the wrong way. (Dave Schuler's own private
investigator told The Daily Cortlandt newspaper that he tried to
discourage Schuler from filing the lawsuit, to no avail.) [The Daily
Cortlandt (Cortlandt, N.Y.), 7-26-2011]
* "[My] client was devastated by what happened," said the lawyer
for Jean Pierre in announcing Pierre's $80 million lawsuit in August
against the city of Newburgh, N.Y. Pierre's estranged girlfriend had
committed suicide by driving into a city lake, taking the couple's
three small children to their deaths, also. In the time before he
became devastated, Pierre had been arrested for failure to pay child
support and for endangering one of his children (found wandering
the street in freezing weather on a Super Bowl Sunday), and friends
of his girlfriend told the New York Post that Pierre constantly
abused her, including immediately before her final drive. [New
York Post, 8-10-2011]
* Chicago's WLS Radio reported that a man (unnamed in the story)
filed a $600,000 lawsuit on September 2nd against the Grossinger
City Autoplex in the city, claiming that five employees had
physically harassed him during business hours over a two-month
period in 2009. Included was the man's claim that he had been
given multiple "wedgies," one of which was a "hanging" wedgie.
[WLS Radio, 9-3-2011]
Compelling Explanations
* Cicero, Ill., Town President Larry Dominick, the defendant in
sexual harassment lawsuits filed by two female employees, gave
depositions in the cases, in March 2009 and February 2011, but
provided challenging answers on one issue. Asked in 2009 whether
he had "ever touched" the plaintiff, Dominick, under oath, said
"No." However, in 2011, Dominick (again under oath) gave a
narrative of his relationship with the same plaintiff beginning in
2005, admitting that he had had sex with her numerous times at her
home. (Dominick claimed to have misinterpreted the earlier
question.) [Chicago Sun-Times, 9-21-2011]
* Unclear on the Concept: (1) Pennsylvania state Rep. Michael
Sturla, an opponent of increased natural-gas drilling in his district,
warned in August that one effect of the drilling would be an
increase of sexually transmitted diseases "amongst the womenfolk."
(He said later that he had heard that from a hospital administrator.)
(2) Nicholas Davis was arrested in a public park in Seattle in
August while, according to a police officer, "masturbating
violently." The officer said Davis explained, "There just isn't
enough free love in Seattle." [PennLive.com-AP, 8-17-2011]
[Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 8-11-2011]
Creme de la Weird
* A female Wisconsin prison chaplain was charged in September
with several crimes in an alleged attempt to stage a fake hostage
situation with an inmate for the purpose of gaining transfers of both
to another prison in the state. Prosecutors said the chaplain, a
Wiccan priest named Jamyi Witch, 52, instructed the inmate at
Oshkosh Correctional Institution to come to her office, barricade the
door, throw things around the room, and role-play with Witch as if
she were his mother. While the office was under siege, the pair
allegedly had consensual sex, and Witch supplied the man with
drugs and sang him lullabies, supposedly to calm him down, ending
the drama (until charges were filed). [The Northwestern (Oshkosh),
9-13-2011]
Least Competent Criminals
* Anthony Watson, sentenced to prison in 1992 for crimes that
included rape and robbery, became a notorious jailhouse lawyer
(even drafting a book, "A Guide to the Plea Circus") and through
successful challenges had reduced his 160-year sentence to 26--and
a release date of 2018. However, he filed one appeal too many. A
court ruled in his favor on that final appeal and ordered a new trial
altogether (vacating the convictions and sentence but also the
reductions Watson had worked so hard for). At the retrial in March
2011, he was found guilty again and this time sentenced to four
consecutive life terms. [St. Petersburg Times, 9-17-2011]
Update
* The most notorious fetishist toe-sucker of the last 20 years,
Michael Wyatt, now age 50, who had been arrested in the 1990s in
Conway, Ark., and nearby towns, returned to the news in August
2011. Two Conway women reported in separate incidents that a
man had approached them, complimented their toes, and asked to
suck them (and in one case, to imagine out loud doing violent things
to the toes). Both women picked Wyatt out of a police lineup, but a
third woman, reporting a similar incident, could not identify the
perpetrator. Wyatt earlier served one year of a four-year prison term
but was last heard from, according to news databases, in 1999.
[Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, 9-22-2011; New York Daily News, 9-
27-2011]
A News of the Weird Classic (February 1996)
* Overenthusiastic Parent/Sports Involvement: In October [1995],
Richard King, 36, pleaded guilty to making threatening and obscene
phone calls to two boys who were star players on his son's Little
League team in Blue Springs, Mo., to get them to reconsider their
plans to quit the team. According to prosecutors, King called the
boys several times while he was on a business trip in China and
threatened to kill one kid and his parents and to commit sodomy on
the kid's whole family. [Independence Examiner, 10-26-95]
Thanks This Week to Eric Swanson and to the News of the
Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
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