News of the Weird, May 9, 2010
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Chuck Shepherd
May 9, 2010, 3:38:50 PM5/9/10
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WEIRDNUZ.M161 (News of the Weird, May 9, 2010)
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2010 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* In mid-April, senior Iranian cleric Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi
issued a warning that recent earthquakes in Haiti, Chile, and
elsewhere were caused by women's loose sex and immodest dress.
Immediately, Jennifer McCreight responded on
Facebook by urging women worldwide to dress provocatively on
April 26th, to create "boobquake" and test the cleric's theory, and at
least 90,000 women promised they would reveal serious cleavage
on that date. On April 26th, following a several-day drought of
earthquakes, a Richter-scale-measuring 6.5 quake hit just south of
Taiwan. (Slight advantage to the Ayatollah, since a Purdue
University seismologist observed that a 6.5 quake was not
uncommon for that region). [Courier-Mail (Brisbane)-AFP, 4-17-
10; Indianapolis Star, 4-28-10]
Cultural Diversity
* One of the world's longest-running TV comedy shows (according
to an April Reuters dispatch from South Korea) is the weekly North
Korean production, "It's So Funny," with its undynamic format of a
man and a woman in military uniforms talking to each other (though
they sometimes sing and dance). The latest episode "extolled the
virtue of beans," wrote the Reuters stringer, "while avoiding any
flatulence humor." "If we soldiers see beans, we become happy,"
said the man, leading both hosts to laugh. According to Reuters,
"The two talk about how bean-fed North Korean soldiers were able
to fight off U.S. imperialist troops during the Korean war."
[Reuters, 4-12-10]
Latest Religious Messages
* John Ridgeway, 45, filed a federal false-imprisonment lawsuit in
March based on his 2005 trial over a traffic charge. According to a
report in Michigan's Bay City Times, just before the jury returned
with a verdict, Ridgeway opened a vial of oil, rubbed some on his
fingers and then around the defense table, and he later shook hands
with court personnel. Ridgeway was arrested when the prosecutor,
a bailiff, and the ticketing police officer became ill. Ridgeway
explained that the virgin olive oil had been blessed by a Colorado
pastor, specifically to "cast evil" from government facilities. [Bay
City Times, 3-16-10]
* In March, leaders of the St. John's Lutheran Church in Baraboo,
Wis., voted to fire the principal of its elementary and middle school
because of his "question[ing] the church's teachings." The church
had held a contentious meeting of members on March 21st, but few
spoke out for the principal, largely because female members were
banned from speaking at all. (According to the Baraboo News
Republic, women cannot vote on the church's business but generally
are allowed to talk at meetings until now.) [Baraboo News
Republic, 3-23-10]
Questionable Judgments
* Under Britain's Department of Health guidelines, prisoners about
to be released, and who had previously taken drugs but cured their
addiction while incarcerated, are being purposely re-addicted by
wardens, using methadone. According to researchers, the former
addicts will then be less likely to overdose when they get back on
the street. Reportedly, more than 460 prisoners have thus been
"retoxified" in the last five years. [Daily Telegraph, 4-16-10]
* In March, the European Union's Trade Marks and Designs
Registration Office granted a trademark to two German
entrepreneurs to market a beer called Fucking Hell. Under the
Office's reasoning, "hell" is simply German slang for "light ale," and
the other word is the official name of a town in neighboring
Austria.. However, according to a March report in Der Spiegel, the
applicants for the trademark have no connection to the town, and
there is no brewery there, or even plans for a brewery. [Spiegel
Online, 3-29-10]
* Judge Robert Benjamin of the Hobart branch of Australia's Family
Courts ruled in a March custody case that sisters, aged 10 and 8,
must spend weekends with their father, even though he is a
convicted sex offender with a child-porn habit. The judge attached
some restrictions that dad must install a lock on the girls' bedroom
door that he cannot control and, if the girls stay overnight, the father
must have "an adult friend" spend the night, too, so that dad will be
less likely to offend. [The Australian, 3-14-10]
* In March, an employment tribunal in Sydney, Australia, awarded
pilot Bryan Griffin damages of $160,000 (Aus.) (U.S. equivalent,
$208,000) because Qantas, for which he worked from 1966 to 1982,
had allowed him to continue flying from 1979 to 1982 with
depression and anxiety attacks that caused him nearly to deliberately
crash his aircraft. As a result of continuing to work, he had several
more episodes which exacerbated his condition (and, obviously,
placed his passengers in jeopardy). [New Zealand Herald, 3-24-10]
News That Sounds Like a Joke
* (1) In January, the principal of D. Roy Kennedy Public School in
Ottawa, Ontario, banned "ball-playing" anywhere on school
grounds, declaring that it is too dangerous. (2) Ricardo West, 22,
who performs as a Michael Jackson impersonator, was arrested in
April in Allen Park, Mich., on 12 counts of sexual misconduct with
an 11-year-old boy. [CTV.ca (Ottawa), 1-21-10] [WXYZ-TV
(Detroit)]
We Require Hundreds of Hours of Training for Barbers, But None
for Parents
* (1) Delmer Doss, 19, and his girlfriend Amber Burgess, 19, were
arrested in Stanley, N.C., in February on child abuse charges after
police found a video made by the couple, of their 11-month old son.
The toddler was blindfolded, and the parents were shown laughing
at him, over and over, as he bumped into walls and fell down. (2)
In March in Dallas, Tex., Krystal Gardner, 28, confronting a repo
man driving off with her SUV, tossed her 1-year-old baby through
an open window to stop the moving vehicle. (At that point, the repo
man stopped and got out, but moments later, a teenager emerged
from Gardner's house and began firing a 12-gauge shotgun.
[WCNC-TV (Charlotte), 2-18-10] [Dallas Morning News, 3-24-10]
Fetishes on Parade
* A 27-year-old man reported to Oklahoma City police in April that
he was sexually assaulted by a man who had perhaps misunderstood
the first man's intentions. According to a story in The Oklahoman,
the first man had fully disclosed his "fetish for flatulence," but
when the two met, the hijinks were interrupted by the second man's
tying up and sexually assaulting the first man. The first man said he
wanted only for the second man to "fart for me." The first man's
name was not disclosed because he claimed to be the victim of a sex
crime. [The Oklahoman, 4-7-10]
United Kingdom Ninnies
* (1) Macdonald Portal Golf and Spa Hotel (Cheshire, England),
declined to provide a toothpick to a dinner guest on New Year's Day
(to dislodge a piece of meat between his teeth) because the facility's
manager said she believes that toothpicks are safety hazards. (2)
Citing restrictions of Scotland's Strathclyde Fire and Rescue force, a
supervisor ordered firefighters on the scene not to attempt to rescue
the 44-year-old woman who had accidentally fallen into a well. The
restrictions require that only certified "mountain rescuers" are
authorized to climb into wells. The nearest squad did not arrive for
six hours, and the woman died. (3) Mirko Fischer, 33, filed a
lawsuit against British Airways in January for separating him from
his wife, even though they had valid tickets for adjacent seats. BA
regulations forbid seating an adult next to an unaccompanied minor,
and thus Fischer, with wife on one side and 12-year-old boy on the
other, was removed, to the only open seat, far away from his wife.
[Chester Chronicle, 1-21-10] [BBC News, 3-3-10] [Daily Mail, 1-
16-10]
A News of the Weird Classic (February 2004)
* About once a month, the owners of the Marina del Rey (Calif.)
Sportfishing bait shop reap a windfall. According to a January 2004
Los Angeles Times story, a Tibetan Buddhist study group drops by
in a convoy after meditating on the "liberation of beings" and
plunks down $1,000-$2,000 cash to buy as much live bait as they
can, after which they go to Marina del Rey Harbor and, in their
terms, "free" the bait (whereupon, of course, much of it is promptly
eaten by fish). [Los Angeles Times, 1-18-04]
Thanks This Week to Bruce Leiserowitz, Crystal Hipkins,
Kathryn Wood, Vic McDonald, Peter Trobridge, Steve Dunn,
Rahima Schwenkbeck, Christopher Thompson, Matthew Fisher,
and Wes Jones, and to the News of the Weird Senior Advisors and
Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Are you ready for Chuck Shepherd's Weekly Intelligence
Briefing? Every Tuesday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com
Other handy addresses: WeirdNews at earthlink dot net,
http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL
33679.
--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "NewsoftheWeird" group.
To post to this group, send email to newsoft...@googlegroups.com.
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by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2010 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* In mid-April, senior Iranian cleric Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi
issued a warning that recent earthquakes in Haiti, Chile, and
elsewhere were caused by women's loose sex and immodest dress.
Immediately, Jennifer McCreight responded on
Facebook by urging women worldwide to dress provocatively on
April 26th, to create "boobquake" and test the cleric's theory, and at
least 90,000 women promised they would reveal serious cleavage
on that date. On April 26th, following a several-day drought of
earthquakes, a Richter-scale-measuring 6.5 quake hit just south of
Taiwan. (Slight advantage to the Ayatollah, since a Purdue
University seismologist observed that a 6.5 quake was not
uncommon for that region). [Courier-Mail (Brisbane)-AFP, 4-17-
10; Indianapolis Star, 4-28-10]
Cultural Diversity
* One of the world's longest-running TV comedy shows (according
to an April Reuters dispatch from South Korea) is the weekly North
Korean production, "It's So Funny," with its undynamic format of a
man and a woman in military uniforms talking to each other (though
they sometimes sing and dance). The latest episode "extolled the
virtue of beans," wrote the Reuters stringer, "while avoiding any
flatulence humor." "If we soldiers see beans, we become happy,"
said the man, leading both hosts to laugh. According to Reuters,
"The two talk about how bean-fed North Korean soldiers were able
to fight off U.S. imperialist troops during the Korean war."
[Reuters, 4-12-10]
Latest Religious Messages
* John Ridgeway, 45, filed a federal false-imprisonment lawsuit in
March based on his 2005 trial over a traffic charge. According to a
report in Michigan's Bay City Times, just before the jury returned
with a verdict, Ridgeway opened a vial of oil, rubbed some on his
fingers and then around the defense table, and he later shook hands
with court personnel. Ridgeway was arrested when the prosecutor,
a bailiff, and the ticketing police officer became ill. Ridgeway
explained that the virgin olive oil had been blessed by a Colorado
pastor, specifically to "cast evil" from government facilities. [Bay
City Times, 3-16-10]
* In March, leaders of the St. John's Lutheran Church in Baraboo,
Wis., voted to fire the principal of its elementary and middle school
because of his "question[ing] the church's teachings." The church
had held a contentious meeting of members on March 21st, but few
spoke out for the principal, largely because female members were
banned from speaking at all. (According to the Baraboo News
Republic, women cannot vote on the church's business but generally
are allowed to talk at meetings until now.) [Baraboo News
Republic, 3-23-10]
Questionable Judgments
* Under Britain's Department of Health guidelines, prisoners about
to be released, and who had previously taken drugs but cured their
addiction while incarcerated, are being purposely re-addicted by
wardens, using methadone. According to researchers, the former
addicts will then be less likely to overdose when they get back on
the street. Reportedly, more than 460 prisoners have thus been
"retoxified" in the last five years. [Daily Telegraph, 4-16-10]
* In March, the European Union's Trade Marks and Designs
Registration Office granted a trademark to two German
entrepreneurs to market a beer called Fucking Hell. Under the
Office's reasoning, "hell" is simply German slang for "light ale," and
the other word is the official name of a town in neighboring
Austria.. However, according to a March report in Der Spiegel, the
applicants for the trademark have no connection to the town, and
there is no brewery there, or even plans for a brewery. [Spiegel
Online, 3-29-10]
* Judge Robert Benjamin of the Hobart branch of Australia's Family
Courts ruled in a March custody case that sisters, aged 10 and 8,
must spend weekends with their father, even though he is a
convicted sex offender with a child-porn habit. The judge attached
some restrictions that dad must install a lock on the girls' bedroom
door that he cannot control and, if the girls stay overnight, the father
must have "an adult friend" spend the night, too, so that dad will be
less likely to offend. [The Australian, 3-14-10]
* In March, an employment tribunal in Sydney, Australia, awarded
pilot Bryan Griffin damages of $160,000 (Aus.) (U.S. equivalent,
$208,000) because Qantas, for which he worked from 1966 to 1982,
had allowed him to continue flying from 1979 to 1982 with
depression and anxiety attacks that caused him nearly to deliberately
crash his aircraft. As a result of continuing to work, he had several
more episodes which exacerbated his condition (and, obviously,
placed his passengers in jeopardy). [New Zealand Herald, 3-24-10]
News That Sounds Like a Joke
* (1) In January, the principal of D. Roy Kennedy Public School in
Ottawa, Ontario, banned "ball-playing" anywhere on school
grounds, declaring that it is too dangerous. (2) Ricardo West, 22,
who performs as a Michael Jackson impersonator, was arrested in
April in Allen Park, Mich., on 12 counts of sexual misconduct with
an 11-year-old boy. [CTV.ca (Ottawa), 1-21-10] [WXYZ-TV
(Detroit)]
We Require Hundreds of Hours of Training for Barbers, But None
for Parents
* (1) Delmer Doss, 19, and his girlfriend Amber Burgess, 19, were
arrested in Stanley, N.C., in February on child abuse charges after
police found a video made by the couple, of their 11-month old son.
The toddler was blindfolded, and the parents were shown laughing
at him, over and over, as he bumped into walls and fell down. (2)
In March in Dallas, Tex., Krystal Gardner, 28, confronting a repo
man driving off with her SUV, tossed her 1-year-old baby through
an open window to stop the moving vehicle. (At that point, the repo
man stopped and got out, but moments later, a teenager emerged
from Gardner's house and began firing a 12-gauge shotgun.
[WCNC-TV (Charlotte), 2-18-10] [Dallas Morning News, 3-24-10]
Fetishes on Parade
* A 27-year-old man reported to Oklahoma City police in April that
he was sexually assaulted by a man who had perhaps misunderstood
the first man's intentions. According to a story in The Oklahoman,
the first man had fully disclosed his "fetish for flatulence," but
when the two met, the hijinks were interrupted by the second man's
tying up and sexually assaulting the first man. The first man said he
wanted only for the second man to "fart for me." The first man's
name was not disclosed because he claimed to be the victim of a sex
crime. [The Oklahoman, 4-7-10]
United Kingdom Ninnies
* (1) Macdonald Portal Golf and Spa Hotel (Cheshire, England),
declined to provide a toothpick to a dinner guest on New Year's Day
(to dislodge a piece of meat between his teeth) because the facility's
manager said she believes that toothpicks are safety hazards. (2)
Citing restrictions of Scotland's Strathclyde Fire and Rescue force, a
supervisor ordered firefighters on the scene not to attempt to rescue
the 44-year-old woman who had accidentally fallen into a well. The
restrictions require that only certified "mountain rescuers" are
authorized to climb into wells. The nearest squad did not arrive for
six hours, and the woman died. (3) Mirko Fischer, 33, filed a
lawsuit against British Airways in January for separating him from
his wife, even though they had valid tickets for adjacent seats. BA
regulations forbid seating an adult next to an unaccompanied minor,
and thus Fischer, with wife on one side and 12-year-old boy on the
other, was removed, to the only open seat, far away from his wife.
[Chester Chronicle, 1-21-10] [BBC News, 3-3-10] [Daily Mail, 1-
16-10]
A News of the Weird Classic (February 2004)
* About once a month, the owners of the Marina del Rey (Calif.)
Sportfishing bait shop reap a windfall. According to a January 2004
Los Angeles Times story, a Tibetan Buddhist study group drops by
in a convoy after meditating on the "liberation of beings" and
plunks down $1,000-$2,000 cash to buy as much live bait as they
can, after which they go to Marina del Rey Harbor and, in their
terms, "free" the bait (whereupon, of course, much of it is promptly
eaten by fish). [Los Angeles Times, 1-18-04]
Thanks This Week to Bruce Leiserowitz, Crystal Hipkins,
Kathryn Wood, Vic McDonald, Peter Trobridge, Steve Dunn,
Rahima Schwenkbeck, Christopher Thompson, Matthew Fisher,
and Wes Jones, and to the News of the Weird Senior Advisors and
Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Are you ready for Chuck Shepherd's Weekly Intelligence
Briefing? Every Tuesday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com
Other handy addresses: WeirdNews at earthlink dot net,
http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL
33679.
--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "NewsoftheWeird" group.
To post to this group, send email to newsoft...@googlegroups.com.
To unsubscribe from this group, send email to newsoftheweir...@googlegroups.com.
For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/newsoftheweird?hl=en.
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