News of the Weird, January 6, 2013
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Chuck Shepherd
Jan 6, 2013, 1:01:53 PM1/6/13
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WEIRDNUZ.M300 (News of the Weird, January 6, 2013)
by Chuck Shepherd
Lead Story
* Updating "The Smell of Napalm in the Morning": A cosmetics
company in Gaza recently began selling a fragrance dedicated to
victory over Israel and named after the signature M-75 missile that
Hamas has been firing across the border. "The fragrance is pleasant
and attractive," said the company owner, "like the missiles of the
Palestinian resistance," and comes in masculine and feminine
varieties, at premium prices (over, presumably, the prices of
ordinary Gazan fragrances). Sympathizers can splash on victory, he
said, from anywhere in the world. [The Times of Israel, 12-6-2012]
Government in Action
* The Philadelphia Traffic Court has been so infused with ticket-
fixing since its founding in 1938 that a recent Pennsylvania
Supreme Court report on the practice seemed resigned to it,
according to a November Philadelphia Inquirer account. One court
employee was quoted as defending the favoritism as fair (as long as
no money changed hands) on the ground that anyone could get local
politicians to call a judge for him. Thus, said the employee, "It was
the [traffic] violator's own fault if he or she didn't know enough" to
get help from a political connection. Traffic Judge Christine
Solomon, elected in November 2011 after a career as a favor-
dispensing "ward healer," said the ticket-fixing was "just politics,
that's all." [Philadelphia Inquirer, 11-25-2012]
* More than 200 school districts in California have covered current
expenses with "capital appreciation bonds," which allow borrowers
to forgo payments for years--but at some point require enormous
balloon payments. A Los Angeles Times investigation revealed that
districts have borrowed about $3 billion and thus are on the hook
for more than $16 billion. "It's the school district equivalent of a
payday loan," said California State Treasurer Bill Lockyer, a former
school board member who said he'd fire anyone who sought such
loans. (Some defenders of the loans pointed to schools' occasional
need for immediate money so they could qualify for federal
matching grants--which, to the districts, would be "free" money.)
[NPR, 12-7-2012]
* One of the principal recommendations following the September
11th attacks was that emergency and rescue personnel have one
secure radio frequency on which all agencies that were merged into
the Department of Homeland Security could communicate. In
November, the Department's inspector general revealed that,
despite $430 million allotted to build and operate the frequency in
the last nine years, it remains almost useless to DHS's 123,000
employees. The report surveyed 479 workers but found only one
who knew how to find the frequency, and 72 percent did not even
know one existed (and half the Department's radios couldn't have
accessed it even if employees knew where to look).
[ProPublica.org, 11-21-2012]
* Remember Alaska's "Bridge to Nowhere"?: In November, as the
Anchorage Daily News reported, the Army Corps of Engineers is
building a harbor on the Aleutian native community's island of
Akutan, even though there is no road away from it. Thus, reported
KUCB Radio, the only way to get into or out of the harbor is by
boat. Any connector road to the only town on the island is "likely
years in the future," according to the Daily News. As well, there is
no assurance that the largest business in the area, Trident Seafoods,
would ever use the harbor. [KUCB Radio (Unalaska, Alaska) via
Anchorage Daily News, 11-15-2012]
Great Art!
* In October, Austrian artist Alexander Riegler installed a one-way
mirror in the ladies' room at a cafe‚ in Vienna to allow men's room
users to peer inside (in the name of "art," of course). Riegler said
he wanted to start a "discussion of voyeurism and surveillance."
Men could see only the faces of women standing at the lavatories,
and he said then that in January, he would reverse the process and
allow women to peer into the men's rooms. (The cafe‚ had posted
a sign advising rest room users that they would be part of an "art"
project.) [Associated Press via Fox News, 10-22-2012]
Police Report
* Anthony Johnson, 49, was convicted in October in Hartford,
Conn., of stealing an improbably large amount of money--as much
as $70,000 a weekend, off and on for five years--by crawling on the
floor of darkened theaters and lifting credit cards from purses that
movie-watching women had set down. The FBI said Johnson was
careful to pick films likely to engross female viewers so that he
could operate freely. He was often able to finish up, leave the
theater, and make cash-advance withdrawals from ATMs before the
movie had ended. [Hartford Courant, 10-22-2012]
* Things That Almost Never Happen: In October, a 34-year-old
man being detained by Port St. Lucie, Fla., police on an indecent-
exposure complaint convinced the officer to free him based on
showing the officer his testicles. (A woman had complained that
the man was masturbating in public, but the man apparently
demonstrated an impressively-severe rash that he said he could not
avoid scratching.) [TCPalm.com (Stuart, Fla.), 10-23-2012]
* Niles Gammons of Urbana, Ohio, apparently did some partying on
Saturday night, November 3rd, because he managed a rare DUI
daily double. He was first cited for DUI at 1:08 a.m. Sunday and
then, 60 minutes later, he was again cited for DUI at 1:08 a.m. (The
first was during Daylight Savings Time; the second was after the
changeover.) [WHIO-TV (Dayton), 11-7-2012]
Perspective
* Human rights activists have for years deplored the preferences for
male offspring in India and other nations--ranging from cultures that
marginalize female babies to some that practice discreet infanticide
of girls. Increasingly, though, because of "advances" in science,
Westerners can buy expensive in vitro fertilization procedures that
use a laser to breach a fertilized embryo to determine whether it
contains XY chromosome pairs (i.e., males) or larger XX ones so
that only the gender-desired embryos are chosen. Noted Slate.com
in September, such procedures are illegal in Canada, Australia, and
the United Kingdom (except for bona fide medical reasons) but
legal in the United States. [Slate.com, 9-14-2012]
People With Issues
* Justin Jedlica, 32, of New York City, bills himself as the "human
Ken doll" after a 10-year odyssey of cosmetic surgery (90
procedures) to achieve the "perfect" body. "I love to
metamorphosize myself, and the stranger the surgery, the better," he
told ABC News in October, even though the amount of silicone in
his body, say doctors (when told of Jedlica's various implants), has
reached a dangerous level. He dismisses actually "earning" the
body, through gym workouts, as just "not exciting, not glamorous."
(Of course, the "perfect" body is never perfect, Jedlica
acknowledged, as illustrated by his recollection of his first surgery--
to get a perfect nose--which is still not done after three follow-ups.
"Just got to get that nose up a few more millimeters," he said. [ABC
News via Huffington Post, 10-16-2012]
Recurring Themes
* Emerging democracies have experienced brawls and fisticuffs in
their legislatures as they learn self-government, with Ukraine
perhaps the most volatile. When some legislators rose to change
party affiliations in December, a fracas broke out, and, according to
Yahoo News, "Images . . . showed a scene that resembled a WWE
pay-per-view event, with parliament members using full nelsons,
choke holds, and other moves familiar to American wrestling fans."
In fact, a man with the same name as a WWE heavyweight
("Rybak") had just been elected speaker, and the country's well-
known boxing champion Vitali Klitschko was in attendance (as a
member of a minority party called "Punch"). (One 2010 brawl in
the Ukrainian legislature sent six deputies to the hospital with
concussions.) [Yahoo News, 12-13-2012]
Editorial Privilege
* This, the 1,300th edition of News of the Weird, marks birthday
number 25. So, what was happening in 1988 in that first batch of
stories published by that first adventurous editor? Well, there was
the Alton, Ill., woman who died with a will specifying that her
husband, who was an enthusiastic transvestite, was to receive not a
penny of her $82,000 cash estate--but all of her dresses and
accessories. And there was Hal Warden, the Tennessee 16-year-old
who was granted a divorce from his wife, 13. Hal had previously
been married at age 12 to a 14-year-old, who divorced Hal because,
she told the judge, "He was acting like a 10-year-old." Happy
Birthday to News of the Weird.
Thanks This Week to Craig Cryer and Bob McCabe and to
the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.net
(almost daily), and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.
by Chuck Shepherd
Lead Story
* Updating "The Smell of Napalm in the Morning": A cosmetics
company in Gaza recently began selling a fragrance dedicated to
victory over Israel and named after the signature M-75 missile that
Hamas has been firing across the border. "The fragrance is pleasant
and attractive," said the company owner, "like the missiles of the
Palestinian resistance," and comes in masculine and feminine
varieties, at premium prices (over, presumably, the prices of
ordinary Gazan fragrances). Sympathizers can splash on victory, he
said, from anywhere in the world. [The Times of Israel, 12-6-2012]
Government in Action
* The Philadelphia Traffic Court has been so infused with ticket-
fixing since its founding in 1938 that a recent Pennsylvania
Supreme Court report on the practice seemed resigned to it,
according to a November Philadelphia Inquirer account. One court
employee was quoted as defending the favoritism as fair (as long as
no money changed hands) on the ground that anyone could get local
politicians to call a judge for him. Thus, said the employee, "It was
the [traffic] violator's own fault if he or she didn't know enough" to
get help from a political connection. Traffic Judge Christine
Solomon, elected in November 2011 after a career as a favor-
dispensing "ward healer," said the ticket-fixing was "just politics,
that's all." [Philadelphia Inquirer, 11-25-2012]
* More than 200 school districts in California have covered current
expenses with "capital appreciation bonds," which allow borrowers
to forgo payments for years--but at some point require enormous
balloon payments. A Los Angeles Times investigation revealed that
districts have borrowed about $3 billion and thus are on the hook
for more than $16 billion. "It's the school district equivalent of a
payday loan," said California State Treasurer Bill Lockyer, a former
school board member who said he'd fire anyone who sought such
loans. (Some defenders of the loans pointed to schools' occasional
need for immediate money so they could qualify for federal
matching grants--which, to the districts, would be "free" money.)
[NPR, 12-7-2012]
* One of the principal recommendations following the September
11th attacks was that emergency and rescue personnel have one
secure radio frequency on which all agencies that were merged into
the Department of Homeland Security could communicate. In
November, the Department's inspector general revealed that,
despite $430 million allotted to build and operate the frequency in
the last nine years, it remains almost useless to DHS's 123,000
employees. The report surveyed 479 workers but found only one
who knew how to find the frequency, and 72 percent did not even
know one existed (and half the Department's radios couldn't have
accessed it even if employees knew where to look).
[ProPublica.org, 11-21-2012]
* Remember Alaska's "Bridge to Nowhere"?: In November, as the
Anchorage Daily News reported, the Army Corps of Engineers is
building a harbor on the Aleutian native community's island of
Akutan, even though there is no road away from it. Thus, reported
KUCB Radio, the only way to get into or out of the harbor is by
boat. Any connector road to the only town on the island is "likely
years in the future," according to the Daily News. As well, there is
no assurance that the largest business in the area, Trident Seafoods,
would ever use the harbor. [KUCB Radio (Unalaska, Alaska) via
Anchorage Daily News, 11-15-2012]
Great Art!
* In October, Austrian artist Alexander Riegler installed a one-way
mirror in the ladies' room at a cafe‚ in Vienna to allow men's room
users to peer inside (in the name of "art," of course). Riegler said
he wanted to start a "discussion of voyeurism and surveillance."
Men could see only the faces of women standing at the lavatories,
and he said then that in January, he would reverse the process and
allow women to peer into the men's rooms. (The cafe‚ had posted
a sign advising rest room users that they would be part of an "art"
project.) [Associated Press via Fox News, 10-22-2012]
Police Report
* Anthony Johnson, 49, was convicted in October in Hartford,
Conn., of stealing an improbably large amount of money--as much
as $70,000 a weekend, off and on for five years--by crawling on the
floor of darkened theaters and lifting credit cards from purses that
movie-watching women had set down. The FBI said Johnson was
careful to pick films likely to engross female viewers so that he
could operate freely. He was often able to finish up, leave the
theater, and make cash-advance withdrawals from ATMs before the
movie had ended. [Hartford Courant, 10-22-2012]
* Things That Almost Never Happen: In October, a 34-year-old
man being detained by Port St. Lucie, Fla., police on an indecent-
exposure complaint convinced the officer to free him based on
showing the officer his testicles. (A woman had complained that
the man was masturbating in public, but the man apparently
demonstrated an impressively-severe rash that he said he could not
avoid scratching.) [TCPalm.com (Stuart, Fla.), 10-23-2012]
* Niles Gammons of Urbana, Ohio, apparently did some partying on
Saturday night, November 3rd, because he managed a rare DUI
daily double. He was first cited for DUI at 1:08 a.m. Sunday and
then, 60 minutes later, he was again cited for DUI at 1:08 a.m. (The
first was during Daylight Savings Time; the second was after the
changeover.) [WHIO-TV (Dayton), 11-7-2012]
Perspective
* Human rights activists have for years deplored the preferences for
male offspring in India and other nations--ranging from cultures that
marginalize female babies to some that practice discreet infanticide
of girls. Increasingly, though, because of "advances" in science,
Westerners can buy expensive in vitro fertilization procedures that
use a laser to breach a fertilized embryo to determine whether it
contains XY chromosome pairs (i.e., males) or larger XX ones so
that only the gender-desired embryos are chosen. Noted Slate.com
in September, such procedures are illegal in Canada, Australia, and
the United Kingdom (except for bona fide medical reasons) but
legal in the United States. [Slate.com, 9-14-2012]
People With Issues
* Justin Jedlica, 32, of New York City, bills himself as the "human
Ken doll" after a 10-year odyssey of cosmetic surgery (90
procedures) to achieve the "perfect" body. "I love to
metamorphosize myself, and the stranger the surgery, the better," he
told ABC News in October, even though the amount of silicone in
his body, say doctors (when told of Jedlica's various implants), has
reached a dangerous level. He dismisses actually "earning" the
body, through gym workouts, as just "not exciting, not glamorous."
(Of course, the "perfect" body is never perfect, Jedlica
acknowledged, as illustrated by his recollection of his first surgery--
to get a perfect nose--which is still not done after three follow-ups.
"Just got to get that nose up a few more millimeters," he said. [ABC
News via Huffington Post, 10-16-2012]
Recurring Themes
* Emerging democracies have experienced brawls and fisticuffs in
their legislatures as they learn self-government, with Ukraine
perhaps the most volatile. When some legislators rose to change
party affiliations in December, a fracas broke out, and, according to
Yahoo News, "Images . . . showed a scene that resembled a WWE
pay-per-view event, with parliament members using full nelsons,
choke holds, and other moves familiar to American wrestling fans."
In fact, a man with the same name as a WWE heavyweight
("Rybak") had just been elected speaker, and the country's well-
known boxing champion Vitali Klitschko was in attendance (as a
member of a minority party called "Punch"). (One 2010 brawl in
the Ukrainian legislature sent six deputies to the hospital with
concussions.) [Yahoo News, 12-13-2012]
Editorial Privilege
* This, the 1,300th edition of News of the Weird, marks birthday
number 25. So, what was happening in 1988 in that first batch of
stories published by that first adventurous editor? Well, there was
the Alton, Ill., woman who died with a will specifying that her
husband, who was an enthusiastic transvestite, was to receive not a
penny of her $82,000 cash estate--but all of her dresses and
accessories. And there was Hal Warden, the Tennessee 16-year-old
who was granted a divorce from his wife, 13. Hal had previously
been married at age 12 to a 14-year-old, who divorced Hal because,
she told the judge, "He was acting like a 10-year-old." Happy
Birthday to News of the Weird.
Thanks This Week to Craig Cryer and Bob McCabe and to
the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.net
(almost daily), and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.
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