News of the Weird, September 6, 2009
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* A woman offering child-care services in Melbourne, Fla., was
dismayed to learn in August that a scam pulled on her by a diaper-
wearing man in his 40s was not illegal. A man called her, on
behalf of his disabled adult "brother," who has a mental age of five
and poor bladder control, and she began assisting him in her home
during the day for $600 a week. She was later outraged to learn
that the "brother" was really the caller and was actually normal
(except for his perversion). However, as Brevard County Sheriff's
officials told Florida Today, since the woman consented to
changing diapers and was fully paid for her services, they were
unable to charge the man with a crime. [Florida Today, 8-9-09]
Can't Possibly Be True
* At press time, Rhode Island legislators were scrambling to fix an
oversight in state law that came to light only earlier this year.
While the state treats 16 as the age of sexual consent and the age at
which most child labor laws no longer apply, the under-18 sex-
worker law bans only "prostitution" and "lewd" activities, leaving
girls age 16 and 17 free to work as strippers. (Nudity, by itself, is
not "lewd" under constitutional law.) Other Rhode Island laws bar
under-18s from, for example, serving drinks, working with power
tools, or buying pornography. (The city of Providence is also now
trying to fix its own ordinance in which prostitution appears to be
illegal only for streetwalkers, thus legalizing the trade for those
working indoors.) [Providence Journal, 7-21-09] [Providence
Journal, 8-20-09]
* The August issue of Gourmet magazine highlighted the
apparently high quality of sushi prepared and sold at a BP gas
station near the intersection of Ridgeway and Poplar in Memphis,
Tenn. A sushi chef works on-site and reportedly sells 300 orders a
day. [Commercial-Appeal (Memphis), 7-23-09]
* Uganda's independent national newspaper, The Daily Monitor,
reported in May the arrest of hunter Nathan Awoloi, who was
accused of forcing his wife to breastfeed his five puppies after their
mothers, who were essential to his occupation, were killed. When
Awoloi was released on bond, Caroline Odoi, Ugandan coordinator
for the ActionAid International anti-poverty agency, led protests
demanding his re-arrest because of evidence that one of Mrs.
Awoloi's own babies, who was nursing at the same time as the
puppies, died of symptoms that resembled rabies. Police said the
investigation was continuing. [Daily Monitor, 5-29-09]
Unclear on the Concept
* Admitted gang member Alex Fowler, 26, of Jasper, Tex., was
arrested in July and charged with an attempted home-invasion
robbery that went bad. Tough-guy Fowler, who has the words
"Crip for Life" tattooed on his neck, was chased from the house by
the 87-year-old female "victim" pointing a can of Raid insect
repellant at him, threatening to spray. [Beaumont Enterprise, 7-20-
09]
* Hong Kong's largest political party, the Democratic Alliance for
Betterment and Progress, said it was only trying to alert vulnerable
women in August when it publicized a list of shopping mall
locations in which females ascending stairs or escalators are
particularly susceptible to having "upskirt" photographs taken
surreptitiously by cell phone cameras. A spokesman said that
perverts probably already knew about the locations. [Agence
France-Presse, 8-13-09]
Benumbed by Taxes
* In April 2008, Jeanette Jamieson of Toccoa, Ga., finally paid off
her state income tax lien (covering 1998 through 2005) of $45,000
but a year later was indicted for failing to file state tax returns for
2006 and 2007, when her income was at least $188,000. In
Jamieson's day job, she runs a tax preparation service. Also, for
the past 24 years, until defeated in 2008, she was a member of the
Georgia House of Representatives. [The Toccoa Record, 8-7-09]
* According to the Detroit Free Press, City Councilwoman JoAnn
Watson is a fierce advocate for getting more money to the
impoverished city from state and federal grants, but was herself
shorting the city treasury. Municipal records revealed that
somehow she managed to be billed only $68 a year in property tax
for a well-kept home in a neighborhood where her neighbors'
property tax ranges from $2,000 to $6,500 annually. She told the
newspaper she never realized she was paying too little and
assumed the low amount was because of "tornado damage," even
though Detroit's last tornado was in 1997. [Detroit Free Press, 5-
24-09]
Good to Know
* (1) Cussing Is Good for You: A study by psychology researchers
at Britain's Keele University in July showed that people who swear
in response to a danger are better able to endure pain than those
who use milder language. (2) Urinate in the Shower to Save the
Forests: The Brazilian environmental group SOS Mata Atlantica
this summer began encouraging people to urinate in the shower to
save the Atlantic Rainforest (one avoided flush per day saving
1,100 gallons of water a year). [Daily Telegraph, 7-12-09] [Stuff-
AP, 8-5-09]
People Different From Us
* Theresa Winters, 36, who lives in Luton, England, with her
unemployed boyfriend Toney Housden, is pregnant (and chain-
smoking) with her 14th child (his 12th) and remains totally
dependent on public assistance, which officials estimate has totaled
"millions" of pounds. Social workers recently removed the kids
still living with her (five were born with disabilities), and Winters
defiantly told The Sun in July that, if they also take away her 14th
in November, she and Housden will just keep making more until
she gets one to keep. Housden said he would "love" to go to work,
but only for "the right reasons" (specifically, not, he said, to earn
money for family counseling because that is the government's
responsibility). [The Sun, 7-30-09]
Recurring Themes
* The most recent examples of men who decided to steal money
only after they had already identified themselves: (1) Jarell
Arnold, 34, in line at the Alaska USA Federal Credit Union in
Anchorage in August, showed his ID in order to check his balance,
took the account slip from the teller, wrote his holdup note on it,
gave it back, and escaped with $600 (but only briefly). (2) A long-
time customer of Penny Lane Records in Sydenham, New Zealand,
picked out a CD in August, asked the clerk to reserve it, and even
wrote his name and address on it to make sure they held it.
Moments later, he saw an opportunity, grabbed cash from the cash
drawer, and fled (but only briefly). [Anchorage Daily News, 8-12-
09] [The Press (Christchurch), 8-17-09]
Update
* At press time, Hong Kong's High Court was still pondering the
final recipient of the estate of the woman once thought to be Asia's
richest, Nina Wang, who died in 2007 and left several billion
dollars either to charity (a 2002 will, written in Chinese) or to Tony
Chan, her personal feng-shui master (a 2006 will, written in
English legalisms). Chan was her spiritual teacher and companion
and assisted her in "contacting" her beloved late husband, and after
she died, Chan also claimed that the two were lovers. Chan had
reportedly convinced Wang to burn cash for good luck and to hide
jewels in feng-shui holes dug around Hong Kong. The will Chan
produced was termed a likely forgery, according to testimony by
Chan's own handwriting expert. [New York Times, 7-15-09, Wall
Street Journal, 5-13-09]
A News of the Weird Classic (June 2004)
* Adventures with Lubricants: In January 2004, a National Park
Service ranger arrested Marvin Buchanon for drug possession
along the Blue Ridge Parkway in North Carolina. Buchanon had
been discovered sitting in a truck one evening, naked, covered with
baby oil and with women's underwear at his feet. And four
months later, Roger Chamberlain, 44, was arrested in Binghamton,
N.Y., after having allegedly smeared 14 containers' worth of
petroleum jelly on nearly every inch of the walls and furniture of a
Motel 6 room (and who was found shortly afterward at another
motel, his own body covered with the substance). [The Morning
Report (National Park Service), 2-3-04] [Newsday-AP, 5-17-04]
Thanks This Week to Catherine Georg, Stephen Taylor,
Kenneth Camp, Megan Tracy, Charles Smailstrla, Eric James, Gil
Nelson, Jon Lindstrom, Frank Smith, Mark Zogas, Eric Swanson,
Bekah Waltuch, Lyle Mariam, Tom Sullivan, Chris Chiu, and
Petter Lundqvist, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial
Advisors.
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