News of the Weird, August 16, 2009
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* World-Class Adolescent Endeavors: Japanese engineer Takuo
Toda's paper airplane was certified in May as the Guinness Book
record-holder for the longest flight from a single folded sheet of
paper: 27.9 seconds. And in Witcham, England, in July, Jim
Collins won the World Peashooting Championship, using a
"traditional" instrument blowing at a target 12 yards away, but
noncompeting ex-champion George Hollis once again drew the
most attention with his homemade, gyroscopic-balancing, laser-
guided peashooter, with which he won three previous
championships. [Daily Telegraph (London), 7-12-09] [Daily
Telegraph (London), 5-18-09]
Compelling Explanations
* When motorist Timothy Pereira, 19, rammed Christine Speliotis's
car head-on in Salem, Mass., in March, there was no doubt in police
officers' minds what the cause was: Pereira was driving 85 mph in
a 35 mph zone and had swerved into Speliotis's lane. However, in
July, Brandon Pereira, 17, an injured passenger in his cousin's car,
filed a lawsuit against Speliotis for negligence, claiming that if she
had been quicker to get out of the way, the collision would not
have occurred. [Salem News, 8-1-09]
* Failed Defenses: (1) A woman in Kansas City, Mo., told police
in June that the reason she had stabbed her sleepwalking 24-year-
old boyfriend in the face was that she feared he would hurt her if
she didn't wake him up. (She said the man had also just finished
urinating in her closet.) (2) In Britain's Chelmsford Crown Court
in July, Sultan Al-Sayed, 40, was convicted of peeping under the
next stall in a department-store changing room despite his claim
that the only reason he placed his face on the floor was to relieve
pain from a toothache. [Kansas City Star, 6-24-09] [Colchester
Gazette-News, 7-29-09]
Ironies
* When the tenant failed to pay $87,000 in rent in April and May
on two townhouses and a retail property at Trump Plaza in New
York City, the landlord did what Donald Trump would surely do:
It began eviction proceedings. However, the tenant in this case is
Donald Trump's Trump Corp., which leases the space from the
current landlord, the Trump Plaza Owners co-op. Said the co-op
president, "If you don't pay the rent when Donald Trump is your
landlord, he comes down on you like a hammer. Well, lo and
behold . . .." [The American Lawyer, 5-14-09]
* In July, Mexican authorities accused one of the country's newer
drug cartels, La Familia, of murdering 12 federal agents, following
a 2007 debut in which it rolled five severed heads into a dance hall
in a show of intimidation. According to an April Reuters report,
captured documents indicate that La Familia gang members are
strictly required to attend regular prayer meetings, to never drink
alcohol or take drugs, and to attend classes in "ethics" and
"personal improvement." [Reuters, 4-20-09; Washington Post, 7-
15-09]
I Want My Rights!
* Relatives of two British convicted murderers, claiming a breach
of "privacy" under the European Convention on Human Rights,
filed lawsuits recently against the Greater Manchester Police over a
crime-prevention campaign. High-profile gangbangers Colin
Joyce, 29, and Lee Amos, 32, had been sentenced to long prison
terms, and the GMP, trying to turn youths away from gangs,
created computer images, on billboards, of the two men as they
might look when they are released, sometime after the year 2040.
Their families were outraged. (GMP reported that gang-related
shootings are down 92 percent since Joyce and Amos were caught.)
[Daily Telegraph, 6-17-09]
* Schoolteacher Charlene Schmitz, convicted in February 2008 of
using electronic messaging to seduce a 14-year-old student in
Leroy, Ala., was fired and is now serving a 10-year prison
sentence. However, under Alabama law, she is still entitled to
draw her $51,000 salary until all legal issues are concluded, and
Schmitz is both appealing her conviction and suing the school
board for firing her. Another aspect of state law requires the
settlement of all criminal issues before the lawsuit can even be
addressed. The school board, with an already limited budget, must
thus pay Schmitz and her replacement during the process. [CNN,
6-5-09]
* A Canadian public employees' union local had been on strike in
Toronto for weeks, causing an otherwise popular public park to fall
into disuse because of high grass and lack of maintenance. Fed-up
neighbors brought their own mowers to the park and cleaned it up,
making it once again a valuable community resource for dog-
walking, ball-playing, and picnics. Said the local union's president,
in July, of the neighbors' effort: "You could use the word 'scab.'"
[Toronto Star, 7-10-09]
Fetishes on Parade
* Christopher Bjerkness, 31, was arrested in Duluth, Minn., in July
and charged with another episode of breaking into a gym facility
and slashing numerous large rubber exercise balls. He had
acknowledged a sexual urge to slash that type of ball following a
conviction in 2006 for cutting up 70 balls in three incidents at the
University of Minnesota Duluth. This time, 40 balls were damaged
at a St. Mary's/Duluth Clinic West building. Police were told by a
psychologist last year, after Bjerkness abandoned court-ordered
therapy, that he "continues to be a risk to society." [Duluth News
Tribune, 7-17-09]
Least Competent Criminals
* Recurring Themes: (1) Lonnie Meckwood, 29, and Phillip
Weeks, 51, were arrested in Kirkwood, N.Y., in June after
allegedly robbing the Quickway Convenience Store. Their
getaway ended about a mile from the crime scene as their car ran
out of gas, even though the Quickway is also a gas station. (2)
Hatim Gulamhusein, 48, was arrested at Toronto International
Airport in April, suspected of bringing 76 swallowed packets of
cocaine into the country as a drug mule, despite a mighty effort to
avoid being charged . Gulamhusein had managed to control his
bowels so well that it took three weeks for all the packets to pass.
[WMAR-TV (Baltimore)-AP, 6-30-09] [United Press
International-National Post, 4-29-09]
Recurring Themes
* It should be well-known by now to News of the Weird readers
that a DNA test disproving fatherhood will not necessarily relieve a
man of child-support obligations. Frank Hatley's case is especially
alarming. He was finally released in July in Cook County, Ga., but
only after having spent 13 months in jail because he had missed a
few payments for another man's child. Hatley had paid
conscientiously, albeit incompletely, from 1987-2000, out of
meager wages, and continued (even during periods of
unemployment and homelessness) for several years after he learned
he was not the father. In 2001, a court absolved him of the duty to
make future payments, but the state interpreted that ruling as not
affecting the overdue amounts from the past, and in 2008 jailed
him. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 7-14-09]
The Classic Middle Name (All-New!)
* Arrested recently and awaiting trial for murder: Jerry Wayne
Damron, Taylorsville, N.C. (July); Edward Wayne Edwards,
Louisville, Ky. (August); Anthony Wayne Thomas, Orlando
(June); Travis Wayne Baczewski, Austin, Tex. (July). Indicted
recently for murder: Heath Wayne Overstreet, Roanoke, Va.
(July); John Wayne Boyer, Nashville, Tenn. (August); David
Wayne Hoshaw, Norfolk, Va. (August); Kenneth Wayne Baker,
Churchville, Va. (July). Federal appeal of murder conviction
denied: Mark Wayne Wiles, Ravenna, Ohio (August). Sentenced
for murder: Carl Wayne Bowen, Swansea, Wales (July). And,
alas, comes word from Caroline County, Va., that John Wayne
Peck, who made this list upon his arrest in 2007 for murder, was
found not guilty by a jury (July).
Damron: [Charlotte Observer, 7-10-09]
Edwards: [Wisconsin Radio Network, 8-3-09]
Thomas: [Orlando Sentinel, 7-29-09]
Baczewski: [Austin American-Statesman, 7-30-09]
Overstreet: [Roanoke Times, 8-4-09]
Boyer: [WZTV-AP (Nashville), 8-5-09]
Hoshaw: [Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk), 8-5-09]
Baker: [WVIR-TV (Charlottesville), 7-27-09]
Wiles: [Record Courier (Ravenna, Ohio), 8-5-09]
Bowen: [BBC News, 7-29-09]
Peck: [Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star, 7-23-09]
A News of the Weird Classic (March 1995)
* Writing in the February 1995 Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, two
Wisconsin researchers concluded that nose-picking does not create
problems for most people, but that for some, the habit "may meet
criteria for a disorder---rhinotillexomania." Among their survey
findings: 66.4% of pickers did it "to relieve discomfort or
itchiness" (versus 2.1% for "enjoyment" and 0.4% for "sexual
stimulation"); 65.1% used the index finger (versus 20.2% little
finger and 16.4% thumb); and "Once removed, the nasal debris was
examined, at least some of the time, by most respondents."
[Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, February 1995]
Thanks This Week to Rhiannon Fraser, Jodie Johnson, Neil
Gimon, John McGaw, Norm Chafetz, Sean Fulford, Jenny Morlan,
and Robert Thompson, and to the News of the Weird Board of
Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
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