News of the Weird, February 19, 2012
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Sri Lanka has, as an "unwritten symbol of pride and culture," the
world's highest per-capita rate for eye-donation, according to a
January Associated Press dispatch from Colombo. Underpinning
this national purpose is the country's Buddhist tradition that
celebrates afterlives. "He's dead," said a mourning relative of a
deceased eye donor, "but he's still alive. His eye can still see the
world." Doctors even report instances in which Sri Lankans
consider giving up an eyeball while still alive, as a measure of
virtue. A new state-of-the-art clinic, funded by Singaporean donors,
is expected to nearly double Sri Lanka's eyeball exports.
[Associated Press via Daily Mail (London), 1-23-2012]
The Way the World Works
* Melissa Torres was a passenger in an April 2011 auto accident in
Texas City, Tex., in which the five people involved were reported
"uninjured" by police, and indeed, Torres was released from the
Mainland Medical Center emergency room after a routine
evaluation (for which she was billed $4,850). In fact, records from
April 2011 until September showed her balance as $4,850.
However, in December, Mainland learned that Torres had made an
insurance claim against the driver, and settled it for $30,000. The
hospital quickly "updated" her balance to $20,211 and filed a claim
against the settlement. [Daily News (Galveston), 1-9-2012]
* Hospitals, of course, are obligated to render emergency care to
anyone who needs it, even to undocumented immigrants and
irrespective of ability to pay. However, various state laws, such as
New York's, also prohibit hospitals from releasing a patient who has
no safe place to be discharged to. A January New York Times
report noted that New York City hospitals currently house about
300 of those "continuing care" patients, with many in the five-year-
long range and one patient now in his 13th year. (In some states,
even, the laws' wording permits "pop drops," in which adult
children leave "ailing" parents at a hospital when the children
decide they need a break.) [New York Times, 1-9-2012]
* A November Comtel airlines charter flight from India to
Birmingham, England, stopped in Vienna, Austria, to refuel, but the
pilots learned that Comtel's account was overdrawn and that the
airport required the equivalent of about $31,000 for refueling and
take-off charges, and thus, if the passengers were in a hurry, they
needed to come up with the cash. After a six-hour standoff, many of
the 180 passengers were let off the plane, one by one, to visit an
ATM, and eventually a settlement was reached. [Associated Press
via MSNBC, 11-17-2011]
Just Can't Stop Himself
* Paul Rothschild, 40, was facing a December 9th court date in
Lake County, Ill., on a charge of indecent solicitation of a minor--a
charge that could have sent him to prison for five years. Apparently
oblivious of the imminent danger, Rothschild was arrested on
December 7th after a months-long campaign to entice another minor
girl to engage in sex. [Chicago Tribune (Highland Park), 1-5-2012]
The Force Is Not with Them
* In November, Rickie La Touche, 30, was convicted in England's
Preston Crown Court of killing his wife in a rage over her having
allegedly destroyed the Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker
memorabilia that he had collected since childhood. And in January,
a judge in Portland, Ore., ordered a 45-day jail sentence, plus
mental evaluation, for David Canterbury, 33, after he attacked Toys
R Us customers with a lightsaber in each hand. And in February in
Brooklyn, N.Y., Flynn Michael expanded his search for his stolen
$400 custom-made lightsaber. "I guess that's the joke," said
Michael, self-pityingly. "Some Jedi I turned out to be." [Daily
Telegraph, 11-2-2011] [MSNBC, 1-31-2012] [The Brooklyn Paper,
2-7-2012]
Names in the News
* Recent Newsmakers: In a Christmas Eve alcohol-related auto
accident in Buffalo, N.Y., the injured victims included Chad Beers,
and the man charged was Richard Booze Jr. In Burnett County,
Wis., in October, Scott Martini, 51, was arrested for suspicion of
DUI, which would be his fourth offense. In Madison, Wis., in
January, police filed weapon and drug charges against the 30-year-
old man who had legally changed his name to Beezow Doo-Doo
Zopittybop-Bop-Bop. And charged with vandalism of a Rhode
Island state troopers' barracks in November was the 27-year-old Mr.
Wanker Rene. [Buffalo News, 12-31-2011] [WQOW-TV (Eau
Claire, Wis.), 10-17-2011] [WISC-TV (Madison), 1-6-2012]
[Rhode Island Government Press Release, 11-27-2011]
* In 2011 for the first time in 10 years, Jose was not the most
popular baby name in Texas (it was Jacob), but more interesting
were the outlier names from the birth register examined by the
Houston Press in December. Among last year's Houston babies
were boys with the first names Aa'den, Z'yun, Goodness, Godswill,
Clever, Handsome, Sir Genius, and "Dallas Cowboys." Girls'
names included Gorgeousg'zaiya, A'Miracle, Dae'Gorgeous, and
Praisegod. The newspaper had previously combed the register of
convicts in Harris County (Houston) and found Willie Nelson de
Ochoa, Shi'tia Alford, Petrono Tum Pu, Charmin Crew, and Anal
Exceus. [Houston Press, 12-30-2011, 11-24-2011]
People Different From Us
* Bill Robinson, 66, of Decatur, Ga., was arrested on a
misdemeanor firearm charge in December for gathering holiday
mistletoe in the "best way" he knew--shooting it out of a tree with a
12-gauge shotgun. The fact that the tree was in the parking lot of
the suburban North DeKalb Mall (filled with holiday shoppers)
apparently completely escaped his attention. "Well," said Robinson
to WGCL-TV, "about the time I did it, I got to thinking about it." "I
guess I assumed that everybody knew what I was doing." [WGCL-
TV (Atlanta), 12-6-2011]
Least Competent Criminals
* Not Ready for Prime Time: Mostafa Hendi was charged with
attempted robbery of the We Buy Gold store in Hendersonville,
N.C., in December, but clerk Derek Mothershead stopped him. As
Hendi reached for the money, Mothershead punched him in the
face, momentarily knocking him out cold. He held Hendi down
with one hand and called 911 with the other, and as the two waited
for police, Mothershead handed Hendi cleanser and paper towels
and ordered him to clean up his blood off of the floor. [WYFF-TV
(Greenville, S.C.), 12-27-2011]
* Needed to Think It Through Better: Car salesman Frank Ready
was showing his inventory to Pedro Prieto and Yordan Llauger at
his lot in Austin, Tex., in December, and they had settled on a
Nissan Maxima for around $9,000. "They asked if I took Visa,"
Ready told KVUE-TV. "I said, 'Yeah.'" The next day, Prieto and
Llauger returned with 90 $100 Visa gift cards. Naturally, Ready
called police, who later found at least 28 counterfeit credit cards on
the pair and charged them, and a third person, with fraud and
identity theft. [KVUE-TV (Austin), 12-6-2011]
Recurring Themes
* Almost No Longer Weird: (1) Fifteen firefighters on three crews
(estimated cost per hour, the equivalent of $1,400) were dispatched
to Norwich market in Norwich, England, in January to rescue a gull
entangled on tree branches and, according to the animal rescue
society, "in distress." (2) Women in Dado village in the southern
Philippines island of Mindanao went "on strike" last year to
persuade the men to stop their fighting over land disputes. ("If you
do bad things," a September Agence France-Presse dispatch quoted
one woman, "you will be cut off, here," motioning below her waist.)
These sex strikes do not always work, but, reported AFP, this one
did. [BBC News, 1-4-2012] [Agence France-Presse via News
Limited (Sydney), 9-16-2011]
The Jesus and Mary World Tour (all-new!)
* Recent Public Appearances of Jesus and/or the Virgin Mary:
Wiltshire, England, June (Jesus in candle wax dripping from a
church's pulpit). Anderson County, S.C., July (Jesus on a Walmart
receipt). Kinston, N.C., June (Jesus's body on a cross formed by
kudzu on a telephone pole). Orpington, England, December (Jesus
on a sock). Fortitude Valley, Australia, January (Jesus on a tomato
that had remained in an office refrigerator a little too long). Yuma,
Ariz., August (Mary in a dried mango slice). Blue Springs, Mo.,
December (Jesus on crayons melted for a science class project
("[W]hat better sign to get than [one] right in front of you" asked
the student's mother.).
Wiltshire: [BBC News, 6-10-2011]
Anderson: [WYFF-TV (Greenville, S.C.), 7-15-2011]
Kinston: [Associated Press via Athens (Ga.) Banner-Herald, 6-30-
2011]
Orpington: [Daily Telegraph, 12-28-2011]
Fortitude Valley: [Gumtree Online Auction (Brisbane), 1-31-2012]
Yuma: [KNBC-TV (Los Angeles), 8-5-2011]
Blue Springs: [KSHB-TV (Kansas City), 12-19-2011]
Thanks This Week to Richard Hunding, Bruce Leiserowitz,
Eric Swanson, Jim Rehmann, Steve Dunn, Craig Cryer, Daniel
Topa, Gerald Sacks, Jon Etkins, Peter Smagorinsky, and Russell
Bell, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
*****
www.NewsoftheWeird.com / WeirdNews at earthlink dot net / P.O.
Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.