News of the Weird, November 29, 2009
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Chuck Shepherd
Nov 29, 2009, 9:11:19 AM11/29/09
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WEIRDNUZ.M138 (News of the Weird, November 29, 2009)
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Their Health Care Is Just Fine Without "Reform": (1) In
September, the Rocky Mountain Cancer Centers, along with four
physicians and three surgical nurses, donated their services for
delicate brain surgery on a 25-year-old silverback lowland gorilla
at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs. (2) Among
the health-insurance upgrades demanded by Philadelphia-area
transit workers and agreed to by the Southeastern Pennsylvania
Transportation Authority in November was removal of the 10-
tablet-per-month rationing of Viagra and similar medications, to
allow as many as 30 per month (according to a Philadelphia Daily
News report). (The final contract, reportedly even more beneficial
to the union, was being voted on by union members at press time.)
[Colorado Springs Gazette, 9-25-09] [Philadelphia Inquirer, 11-6-
09]
Inexplicable
* For its Halloween gala, the Kings Island amusement park near
Cincinnati had set up an exhibit featuring skeletons dressed to
resemble, among other deceased celebrities, Michael Jackson,
Farrah Fawcett, Ted Kennedy, Ed McMahon, TV salesman Billy
Mays, Sonny Bono (his skeleton in front of a tree), and Ted
Williams (his skeleton in front of a freezer). Alongside was a
marker board labeled "agenda," with those names crossed off but
others still listed, including Bernard Madoff and the comedian
Carrot Top. (Following a WLWT-TV preview of the exhibit in
September, the park quickly canceled it, with a spokesman
declaring, "We were not intending to be distasteful.") [Dayton
Daily News, 9-24-09]
* Robert and Roberta Masters of Prior Lake, Minn., were arrested
in October and charged in connection with a series of mailbox
explosions over the summer, which police say were carried out by
seven teenagers who had been supplied by the couple. Police said
Robert Masters bought black powder for the kids and had said it "it
would be a good educational tool for the kids to build pipe bombs."
Roberta Masters allegedly encouraged the teens to learn on the
Internet how to make pipe bombs because it would be
"constructive" (but she said she had told them to be careful). [Star
Tribune, 10-15-09]
Can't Possibly Be True
* In April, Richard Huether, the manager of the HoneyBaked Ham
outlet in Cary, N.C., was shot in the stomach during a robbery of
the store and hospitalized, with medical bills paid through worker
compensation and his employee health benefits. In September,
when his worker compensation expired (and though still at least
three months away from returning to work), HoneyBaked fired him
(forcing him to begin paying 100 percent of his insurance
premiums and making subsequent insurance prohibitively
expensive because of his new "pre-existing condition"). However,
HoneyBaked human resources executive Maggie DeCan told
WRAL-TV that the firing was for Huether's own good, in that it
would clear the way for him to receive Social Security disability
payments. Said DeCan, "We couldn't feel any worse for Rich, and
we would do anything we could for him [except keep him on the
payroll]." [WRAL-TV, 9-26-09]
* Those Overhead Costs! (1) The price of gasoline for U.S. troops
in Afghanistan is about $400 per gallon, according to a U.S. House
subcommittee in October, citing Pentagon officials (factoring in
the security necessary to bring fuel through Pakistan). (2) Patient
Jim Bujalski complained to St. Anthony's Central Hospital in
Littleton, Colo., in September about the cost of his prescription
Plavix and Crestor tablets, which he was forced to "buy" from the
hospital because it administers only drugs under its control. The
Plavix was $248 each (he pays $8 at home), and his Crestor ($3 at
home) was $65. The medications were part of his $58,000, one-
day hospital stay. [The Hill (Washington, D.C.), 10-15-09]
[KCNC-TV (Denver), 9-25-09]
Unclear on the Concept
* Nurses might best treat patients who have self-cutting disorders
by helping them in their endeavor, according to an October
advisory from Britain's Royal College of Nursing. "Assisted self-
harming" should be considered as part of nursing care plans,
according to the advisory, benefiting patients by having skilled
professionals at their side, for example supplying sterile blades and
providing the quick stanching of blood and dressing of wounds.
[The Guardian, 10-25-09]
* On July 13th, William Thomson, 55, feeling bad recently about
having violently resisted arrest by the Salisbury, Mass., police in a
drunk-driving incident in 1997, brought hot coffee to a Salisbury
station house and sought symbolic forgiveness from the officers on
duty. The very next day, however, Thomson was arrested again in
a drunk-driving incident, and again he forcefully resisted, punching
a Breathalyzer machine, threatening an officer, and attempting to
flood a lock-up cell in the station house. [South Florida Sun-
Sentinel-AP, 8-13-09]
Chutzpah!
* In Ogden, Utah, in October, Adam Manning, 30, accompanied
his pregnant girlfriend to the McKay-Dee Hospital emergency
room as she was going into labor. According to witnesses, as a
nurse attended to the woman, Manning began flirting with her,
complimenting the nurse's looks and giving her neck rubs. When
Manning then allegedly groped the nurse's breast, she called for
security, and Manning was eventually arrested and taken to jail,
thus missing the birth of his child. [Salt Lake Tribune, 10-10-09]
* After James Cedar admitted to police that he was the one spotted
peeping into his Toronto neighbor's window at night, the victim,
Patricia Marshall, installed a video camera at that window to
discourage him from re-offending. In September, when all parties
reported to court for a final resolution of the peeping case, Cedar's
lawyer served legal papers on Marshall threatening to sue her over
the camera. Since Cedar's house sits within the view outside
Marshall's window, he complained that the camera could capture
images through his windows and thus invades his privacy. [CNews
(Toronto), 9-29-09]
The Weirdo-American Community
* When police in Brimfield, Ohio, stopped Jaime Aguirre, 42, for a
traffic violation in October, they found some conventional photos
of nude and near-nude women but were especially surprised at a
stash of x-rays and mammograms, which they supposed came from
Aguirre's job as technician at an imaging center in Tiffin, Ohio.
The Brimfield police chief said he believed the stash was used by
Aguirre for sexual gratification, and since some of the x-rays and
mammograms were of girls under the age of 18, Aguirre was
charged with possession of child pornography. [Plain Dealer
(Cleveland), 10-27-09]
Least Competent Criminals
* Oops! (1) Three men and a woman from Atlantic City, N.J.,
were arrested in August and charged with robbing the Artisans
Bank in Bear, Del. Their escape after the robbery had been delayed
when they accidentally left the keys to the getaway car in the bank.
(2) Andrew Burwitz, 20, was arrested in Appleton, Wis., in
November and charged with drive-by shootings into two
residences. No one was hit, and the major damage was done to
Burwitz's car, in that Burwitz fired the first shot before he
remembered to roll down the window. [News Journal
(Wilmington, Del.), 9-1-09] [Post-Crescent (Appleton), 11-5-09]
Recurring Themes
* Thousands of airline passengers continue to attempt to bring
prohibited carry-on items on board. The New York Post reported
in September that the Transportation Security Administration had
confiscated 123,000 items so far this year from just the three main
airports serving New York City. Included were 43 explosives,
1,600 knives, a 10-point deer antler, several fire extinguishers, a
tree branch, nun chucks, a grill, a baby alligator, "unwashed adult
toys," a gassed-up chain saw, and a kitchen sink. [New York Post,
9-13-09]
A News of the Weird Classic (April 1997)
* In Milwaukee, Wis., the family of Robert Senz demanded shortly
after his burial last July (1996) that Borgwardt Funeral Home dig
up the body because Senz's wallet was missing. Sure enough, the
wallet containing $64 and credit cards was still in Senz's pocket. In
February (1997), Borgwardt sent the now-$64-richer family a re-
burial bill for $2,149, but after the family protested, decided the
whole thing was the county medical examiner's fault and sent the
bill there. [Chicago Sun Times-Scripps Howard News Service, 2-
7-97]
Thanks This Week to Buck Lackey, Sam Gaines, Brandon
Brown, Matt Rushing, and Jerry Maple, and to the News of the
Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Are you ready for News of the Weird / Pro Edition? Every
Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and
http://www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses:
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com,
and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Their Health Care Is Just Fine Without "Reform": (1) In
September, the Rocky Mountain Cancer Centers, along with four
physicians and three surgical nurses, donated their services for
delicate brain surgery on a 25-year-old silverback lowland gorilla
at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs. (2) Among
the health-insurance upgrades demanded by Philadelphia-area
transit workers and agreed to by the Southeastern Pennsylvania
Transportation Authority in November was removal of the 10-
tablet-per-month rationing of Viagra and similar medications, to
allow as many as 30 per month (according to a Philadelphia Daily
News report). (The final contract, reportedly even more beneficial
to the union, was being voted on by union members at press time.)
[Colorado Springs Gazette, 9-25-09] [Philadelphia Inquirer, 11-6-
09]
Inexplicable
* For its Halloween gala, the Kings Island amusement park near
Cincinnati had set up an exhibit featuring skeletons dressed to
resemble, among other deceased celebrities, Michael Jackson,
Farrah Fawcett, Ted Kennedy, Ed McMahon, TV salesman Billy
Mays, Sonny Bono (his skeleton in front of a tree), and Ted
Williams (his skeleton in front of a freezer). Alongside was a
marker board labeled "agenda," with those names crossed off but
others still listed, including Bernard Madoff and the comedian
Carrot Top. (Following a WLWT-TV preview of the exhibit in
September, the park quickly canceled it, with a spokesman
declaring, "We were not intending to be distasteful.") [Dayton
Daily News, 9-24-09]
* Robert and Roberta Masters of Prior Lake, Minn., were arrested
in October and charged in connection with a series of mailbox
explosions over the summer, which police say were carried out by
seven teenagers who had been supplied by the couple. Police said
Robert Masters bought black powder for the kids and had said it "it
would be a good educational tool for the kids to build pipe bombs."
Roberta Masters allegedly encouraged the teens to learn on the
Internet how to make pipe bombs because it would be
"constructive" (but she said she had told them to be careful). [Star
Tribune, 10-15-09]
Can't Possibly Be True
* In April, Richard Huether, the manager of the HoneyBaked Ham
outlet in Cary, N.C., was shot in the stomach during a robbery of
the store and hospitalized, with medical bills paid through worker
compensation and his employee health benefits. In September,
when his worker compensation expired (and though still at least
three months away from returning to work), HoneyBaked fired him
(forcing him to begin paying 100 percent of his insurance
premiums and making subsequent insurance prohibitively
expensive because of his new "pre-existing condition"). However,
HoneyBaked human resources executive Maggie DeCan told
WRAL-TV that the firing was for Huether's own good, in that it
would clear the way for him to receive Social Security disability
payments. Said DeCan, "We couldn't feel any worse for Rich, and
we would do anything we could for him [except keep him on the
payroll]." [WRAL-TV, 9-26-09]
* Those Overhead Costs! (1) The price of gasoline for U.S. troops
in Afghanistan is about $400 per gallon, according to a U.S. House
subcommittee in October, citing Pentagon officials (factoring in
the security necessary to bring fuel through Pakistan). (2) Patient
Jim Bujalski complained to St. Anthony's Central Hospital in
Littleton, Colo., in September about the cost of his prescription
Plavix and Crestor tablets, which he was forced to "buy" from the
hospital because it administers only drugs under its control. The
Plavix was $248 each (he pays $8 at home), and his Crestor ($3 at
home) was $65. The medications were part of his $58,000, one-
day hospital stay. [The Hill (Washington, D.C.), 10-15-09]
[KCNC-TV (Denver), 9-25-09]
Unclear on the Concept
* Nurses might best treat patients who have self-cutting disorders
by helping them in their endeavor, according to an October
advisory from Britain's Royal College of Nursing. "Assisted self-
harming" should be considered as part of nursing care plans,
according to the advisory, benefiting patients by having skilled
professionals at their side, for example supplying sterile blades and
providing the quick stanching of blood and dressing of wounds.
[The Guardian, 10-25-09]
* On July 13th, William Thomson, 55, feeling bad recently about
having violently resisted arrest by the Salisbury, Mass., police in a
drunk-driving incident in 1997, brought hot coffee to a Salisbury
station house and sought symbolic forgiveness from the officers on
duty. The very next day, however, Thomson was arrested again in
a drunk-driving incident, and again he forcefully resisted, punching
a Breathalyzer machine, threatening an officer, and attempting to
flood a lock-up cell in the station house. [South Florida Sun-
Sentinel-AP, 8-13-09]
Chutzpah!
* In Ogden, Utah, in October, Adam Manning, 30, accompanied
his pregnant girlfriend to the McKay-Dee Hospital emergency
room as she was going into labor. According to witnesses, as a
nurse attended to the woman, Manning began flirting with her,
complimenting the nurse's looks and giving her neck rubs. When
Manning then allegedly groped the nurse's breast, she called for
security, and Manning was eventually arrested and taken to jail,
thus missing the birth of his child. [Salt Lake Tribune, 10-10-09]
* After James Cedar admitted to police that he was the one spotted
peeping into his Toronto neighbor's window at night, the victim,
Patricia Marshall, installed a video camera at that window to
discourage him from re-offending. In September, when all parties
reported to court for a final resolution of the peeping case, Cedar's
lawyer served legal papers on Marshall threatening to sue her over
the camera. Since Cedar's house sits within the view outside
Marshall's window, he complained that the camera could capture
images through his windows and thus invades his privacy. [CNews
(Toronto), 9-29-09]
The Weirdo-American Community
* When police in Brimfield, Ohio, stopped Jaime Aguirre, 42, for a
traffic violation in October, they found some conventional photos
of nude and near-nude women but were especially surprised at a
stash of x-rays and mammograms, which they supposed came from
Aguirre's job as technician at an imaging center in Tiffin, Ohio.
The Brimfield police chief said he believed the stash was used by
Aguirre for sexual gratification, and since some of the x-rays and
mammograms were of girls under the age of 18, Aguirre was
charged with possession of child pornography. [Plain Dealer
(Cleveland), 10-27-09]
Least Competent Criminals
* Oops! (1) Three men and a woman from Atlantic City, N.J.,
were arrested in August and charged with robbing the Artisans
Bank in Bear, Del. Their escape after the robbery had been delayed
when they accidentally left the keys to the getaway car in the bank.
(2) Andrew Burwitz, 20, was arrested in Appleton, Wis., in
November and charged with drive-by shootings into two
residences. No one was hit, and the major damage was done to
Burwitz's car, in that Burwitz fired the first shot before he
remembered to roll down the window. [News Journal
(Wilmington, Del.), 9-1-09] [Post-Crescent (Appleton), 11-5-09]
Recurring Themes
* Thousands of airline passengers continue to attempt to bring
prohibited carry-on items on board. The New York Post reported
in September that the Transportation Security Administration had
confiscated 123,000 items so far this year from just the three main
airports serving New York City. Included were 43 explosives,
1,600 knives, a 10-point deer antler, several fire extinguishers, a
tree branch, nun chucks, a grill, a baby alligator, "unwashed adult
toys," a gassed-up chain saw, and a kitchen sink. [New York Post,
9-13-09]
A News of the Weird Classic (April 1997)
* In Milwaukee, Wis., the family of Robert Senz demanded shortly
after his burial last July (1996) that Borgwardt Funeral Home dig
up the body because Senz's wallet was missing. Sure enough, the
wallet containing $64 and credit cards was still in Senz's pocket. In
February (1997), Borgwardt sent the now-$64-richer family a re-
burial bill for $2,149, but after the family protested, decided the
whole thing was the county medical examiner's fault and sent the
bill there. [Chicago Sun Times-Scripps Howard News Service, 2-
7-97]
Thanks This Week to Buck Lackey, Sam Gaines, Brandon
Brown, Matt Rushing, and Jerry Maple, and to the News of the
Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Are you ready for News of the Weird / Pro Edition? Every
Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and
http://www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses:
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com,
and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.
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