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alice...@aol.com

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Jun 16, 2009, 11:44:15 PM6/16/09
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Just published a new blog at http://curmudgeongal.blogspot.com/
and a podcast at www.curmudgeongal.libsyn.com/rss

Tune in and let me know what you think.  It's a subject we all have to pay attention to these days.
Cheers!
Alice


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Rosanne Welch

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Jun 17, 2009, 3:29:11 PM6/17/09
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Hey Alice,

I know I'm not the podcast junkie that others are but since you emailed specifically I made sure to check out your latest post - and was amazed at the timeliness of it since Doug and I (and Joseph) are going to Ohio in a couple of weeks to do the 'visit the relatives' thing - and Doug's dad just had a 5-way bypass last week that will mean most of our visiting will take place in the rehab facility as he goes through his therapy.  It gave Doug pause (and, yes, I'm telling tales out of marriage) in that that didn't sound like much of a 'vacation' to him.  But it also inspired him to write a column that I think he's putting out this week on the stages of decision making (made for you, made by you, made about you) that we all must adjust to. 

And you should check out the NPR blog/podcast from the This I Believe folks.  They have an essay on 'Always Go to the Funeral' which was pretty marvelous about a woman going to her friend's parents' funeral.  These are issues hard to discuss - but which need to be discussed - and your post was a good start to the discussion (it would have made a good submission to This I Believe but I believe they have gone out of production).

Rosanne

alice...@aol.com

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Jun 17, 2009, 3:54:10 PM6/17/09
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Hey Roseanne!

Glad you had the chance to read it and it might help a bit.  You and Doug are at the stage in life where you  have health issues with parents to deal with.  Been there, done that, I'm now the sole survivor of immediate family.  It's not at all fun, but something that has be done or you'll regret it.  I had to hold  my sister, mother and husband as each passed away, I told them they were wonderful and gave them permission to leave.  It's not something high on my list of things to do, but there is a calming to it that you know you've done the last kindness possible.  It soothes you through the eventual grief process like nothing else. 

Go to the rehab, hold his hand, let him know he's been a great Dad and say all the things you always wanted to say and never had the chance.  It's a wonderful experience for both child and parent, especially if they are recovering.  That "being there" is the real affermation of a chld's love (no matter how old you are).  Dealing with death and illness is never easy and something no one wants to face until they have to.  Just being able to have the conversation, even if you have to cry through it, is really worthwhile.

Best regards,

Alice




Mitch Krayton

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Jun 17, 2009, 9:08:05 PM6/17/09
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Alice,

I have been in those same shoes and your words are wise. There are rituals we want to avoid but serve to give use strength in the final analysis. I mirror your sentiments and advice.

Best,

Mitch
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Mitch Krayton
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