Effeminacy/Stereotypes...Yamaha, Sansui, Pioneer, Akai...and us!

[Ray EMD & S Admin 223-5027]

I'de like to add my own $29.95 plus taxes, shipping and handling's worth
on the subject Gerry is trolling for commentary on :-) Hi Gerry!
I don't find effeminate behavior (per se) offensive. Some guys just can't
help it and exhibit what most of us would consider "nelly" actions without
putting on any act. Most that I've met though *put on* this act to be cute
or just camping it up with friends. I don't feel comfortable around nor trust
the ones who insist on putting on the big "queen" facade all the time. I dated
a guy for a while some time back who was one of the limpest wristed "Mary's"
I've ever met. What made it all look the sillier was that he was a body builder
with a 48" chest full of hair and a 28" waist. He looked kinda like Tom Sellick
but as soon as he opened his mouth sounded like Minnie Mouse. His hips had more
moves than a snake and I sometimes felt embarassed when I was out with him be-
cause we were laughed at wherever we went. One night we were out for ice cream
and a gang of townie punks picked a fight with us when htey heard him ordering
"I'll have a pithstathio with nuths tee! hee!". I knew it was an act on his part
because he still believed we were supposed to act effeminate.
I've always felt pretty comfortable with my level of masculinity. I could
"pass for straight" as much as I hate that term. I guess what I'm saying is that
I'm Ray! no frills attached! What is acting gay? Beats me! I do know from meet-
ing thousands of gay men over the last 16 years that we tend to be much more
articulate in our speech in general. Anybody care to comment on this one? Most
gay men that I know are very eloquent in their speech habits. My ex-wife had a
theory that it might be because gays have had to be careful not to blow their
cover so they weigh each word before speaking. I hear most of my straight male
counterparts speak and their speech is sloppy, "Uhhh! hey Jack Wanna go and suck
down a coupla frosty ones, den let's see if dere are any hot lookin chicks at
da club". Well not all straight men talk quite that way but I've seen quite a
few who do. I've been able to single out quite a few gay men by speech alone.
So who cares? If I can pass for straight then why do so many people tell me
they knew all along when I came out to them that I was gay. Why do townie punks
mutter, "faggot" when I pass them? I don't swish, am fairly muscular and look
"butch" if you want to call it that.
It's fun to be campy in the company of friends but I don't like being ref-
erred to as "she" at all. Oh well, nuff said on that. I've met effeminate men
that I've liked and some that I couldn't stand; the effeminacy not being a
metric by which I made value judgements.
ON stereotypes, they die hard! It seems that Hollywood has made a 180 degree
turnabout in the gay stereotypes they portray. Maybe they feel guilty for show-
ing us as nelly little mincing queens and now we're all for some reason "ultra
normal"; we're all doctors and lawyers and drive BMW's. And of course we're all
Izod clad and freshly scrubbed...shades of David and Ricky on Ozzie and Harriet.
I think some of the more accurate gay types shown were in the extras used in
"Partners" with Ryan O'Neil. If you remember the housewarming party scene, you
probably noticed many street type gays. Before anyone flames me, I still like
"Boys in the Band" there were beleivable characters in it, school teacher, etc
as well as the more *older* negative stereotypes. I've met enough negative types
like Michael who threw the party to feel that he was a beleivable character.
I'm about midway through the first draft of a gay novel called "Moving
Violation" about the relationship that developes between a State Police officer
who hates his job (last 4 generations were policemen in his family) and a soft-
ware engineer. The other main characters are a sales clerk in a record store
who moonlights as a dj at a local gay disco, a guy who manages a stereo/video
store, in interior designer, one of the hero's co-workers who's a computer
operator, a struggling writer/artist and the rest pretty down to earth guys.
When I first started the concept for the story it was filled with vice pres-
idents of this and managers of that. I was trying to make too good an impress-
ion. I'm hoping if and when the book is finished (like most writers) that there
may be movie rights in it. Most who have read what I have to date say that the
plot and characters are quite beleivable. The story has a realistic happy ending
but I won't say any more than that.
I think they're starting to do it now but what Hollywood needs to do is en-
list the help of gay consultants when they go off producing some epoch like
An Early Frost. Oh well, nuff said, time to run!

Ray

[Wendy Thrash]

Ray EMD, in <13...@decwrl.DEC.COM>:

> I hear most of my straight male counterparts speak and their speech
> is sloppy, "Uhhh! hey Jack Wanna go and suck down a coupla frosty ones,
> den let's see if dere are any hot lookin chicks at da club".

Sounds more like Lesbians talking, to me. :-) :-) :-)
Seriously, though, I find myself affecting precisely this sort of
"good ol' boy" speech at times, particularly when I'm with other Lesbians.
I suppose it's my reaction to blue-collar PC-ness -- an angry reaction.
Perhaps if I went back to being an intellectual snob I'd stop ending up
with lovers who want to take me hiking. :-b