Dallas Cowboys - (nf)

[ho...@uiucuxc.uucp]

#N:uiucuxc:3500120:000:1847
uiucuxc!hood Jan 11 13:16:00 1984

[Please note : Only a Texan can poke fun of TEXAS!!]

Dallas Coyboys Official Schedule 1984

Sept 14 Pasadena Junior High
Sept 21 Boy Scout Troop 049
Sept 28 Blind Academy
Sept 30 World War I Veterans
Oct 5 Brownie Scout Troop 041
Oct 12 Sugarcreek High Cheerleaders
Oct 26 St. Thomas Boys Choir
Nov 2 Texas City Vet Clinic
Nov 9 Korean War Amputees
Nov 15 VA Hospital Polio Patients

Rule Changes for this year

1) When playing Polio Patients, Cowboy players must not disconnect iron
lungs.
2) When playing Brownie Scouts, Cowboy players must not steal their
cookies.
3) When playing the blind Academy, Cowboy players must not hide the ball
under their jerseys.
4) When playing the Korean War Amputees, Cowboy players must not file any
complaints about an opposing player with one leg being harder to tackle.
5) A touchdown will count as 21 points for the Dallas Cowboys.
6) Dallas Cowboys will be allowed 27 players.
7) Dallas Cowboys will be allowed to play with three footballs at the same
time.
8) Dallas Cowboys will be allowed to substitute with band members at any
time during the game.
9) Dallas Cowboys will be allowed 20 time outs.
10) A gain of 3 yards in 5 plays will constitute a first down for the
Dallas Cowboys.

As you can see, Dallas is facing a much rougher schedule this year.
So, all you Dallas fans ...(all 16 of you)... should get out there
and cheer them on to victory.......

_
(_)
| Efrem Kurtz
|
____|____| The Ice Runner
( | |
\ |
\ |
\ |
\|

[Guy Harris]

Amusingly enough, I saw one like this, only it was about the Redskins...

Guy Harris
{seismo,ihnp4,allegra}!rlgvax!guy

[i...@fluke.uucp]

{Please note: Texas is fair game for everyone to joke about. The Texans
worked for it, they deserve it.}

Your schedule was very interesting, but I thought the Cowboys (the
self-styled 'America's Team') were also supposed to be playing the
net.wombats. (?) What more appropriate opponent for "the 'A' Team" than
those commies? This game was to be played from automobiles with their
lights disconnected, and the Cowboy's cars were to have brakes. The
wombat's brakes were to be disconnected.

Now, why do Texans always have their names tooled on their belts?

Watch it, may be offensive, but wasn't worth the trouble to rotate.....

Press n now, here it comes:

So if they get their heads stuck up their but, they'll remember who they
are.

from the ever smiling, . .
ever happy fingers of: V

!fluke!inc

--
---
Gary Benson
John Fluke Mfg. Co.
Everett, WA, USA

[Walt Pesch]

There's the one from the bathroom wall:

Here I sit, my cheeks a flexin',
I just gave birth to another Texan.

Walt Pesch
AT&T Technologies
ihnp4!ihuxp!wbpesch

[John Quarterman]

A Texan and a Californian were shooting the bull one day.
The Californian got tired of the Texan's overblown hyperbole
and decided to put him in his place.

"You Texans may have a lot of land and a lot of oil," says the CAian,
"but we Californians have got the gold. We've got so much gold we
could build a fence clear around Texas with it."

The Texan scratches his chin, nods his head, and allows:
"You go on and do that, now, and if I like it, I'll buy it."
--
John Quarterman, CS Dept., University of Texas, Austin, Texas
{ihnp4,seismo,ctvax}!ut-sally!jsq, jsq@ut-sally.{ARPA,UUCP}