Joe Bike is moved to put in his 2 cents worth about helmets.
The Joe Bike helmet usefulness test is this:

    Take a piece of your helmet material.  Hit it with a big hammer.
    See how far the hammer bounces.  The less the better.  If you
    can't figure out why, you don't need to wear a helmet.

Now if you have a hardshell-single-impact helmet, the Joe Bike helmet test
will be passed with flying colors.  The SkidLid people can't seriously
think that the harder ya hit with the hammer on their special jet-age
foam the less it'll rebound.  Quit trying to mess with Joe Bike's mind.
You know you're worse off in a SkidLid than a hardshell no matter how ya
mash the melon.  Don't gimme none o' that strain your neck crud neither.

I'll grant ya that SkidLid's better'n NoLid, but I won't hop on my ole
bike without my hardshell strapped right where it belongs - on the noodle.

On another subject:

Mister Jeff Houston (article dual.476) thinks he can outdo good 'ole Joe
Bike in the track stand department.  He's got another thing comin'.  I
haven't told y'all about my commutin' bike, cause that's a whole nother
article, but let it be known that Joe Bike commutes with a fixed gear and
can trackstand the tits off a boar hog.  We're talkin no-hands, we're
talkin track stands on freewheel bikes, we're talkin track stands on water,
wellll, maybe IN water.  I'll track stand Mister Jeff Houston at GEAR
Charlotte or GEAR Up if he wants, but go too much nearer the land of Fruits
and Nuts (California) -- I don't know.  I think the man is just too chicken
to confront Joe Bike on his home turf.

If you're gonna be at the GEARs, let Joe Bike hear from ya.  If you don't
know what they are, stop down at a bike shop and pick up your copy of
Bicycle USA ragazine.  It'll give ya the lowdown on what a GEAR is.
If ya wanna ride the GEAR gauntlet (a trip from GEAR Charlotte to GEAR Up,
500 miles in 5 days) drop ole Joe Bike a line. This is an SBL (Southern
Bicycle - or is that Beer - League) event but you're welcome to give it
a go.

 Joe Bike
 Charlottesville Virginia
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