The Moviesite Updates, 4 May 2012
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Ian Douglas
May 4, 2012, 7:16:24 AM5/4/12
to movies...@googlegroups.com
hi
Two biggish movies (one action, one rom-com) for your viewing pleasure
this week.
M O V I E S
Released 4 May 2012
* The Raven (16 V)
* Jannat 2 (Bollywood)
* Battleship (10 V)
* Think Like a Man (13M L)
* Coriolanus (16 V)
* Lessons of a Dream (13M VP)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm
SA Top Tens (commercial, nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm
Added US Top Ten. The other industry news on this page is
updated daily.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm
Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, NuMetro, MovieZone, CineCentre,
Woodlands, and Labia cinemas, and SK and Menlyn Park drive-ins.)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm
Forthcoming attractions for 11 and 18 May
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/
This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (nice desktop)
Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm
List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm
Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm
Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm
DVDs and BluRays:
Titles and details up later at
http://www.moviesite.co.za/videos/new.htm
(being held up by the Film and Publications Board site not working properly)
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)
Cheers, Ian
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Angela Merkel arrives at passport control in Athens:
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
.... "German" she replied.
"Occupation?"
...."No, just here for a few days"...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling
asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said:
"You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across,
held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and
settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to
bite my neck."
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you
going?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A policeman pulls over a driver who has a Lion Lager label stuck to his
forehead.
The policeman says "Have you been drinking?"
The driver replies "No, I've given up. I'm on the patches now."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Dear God, Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter.
There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
2. Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a
puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
Joyce
3. Dear Mr. God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come
apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
Janet
4. Dear God, If we come back as somebody else, please don't let me be
Jennifer Horton - because I hate her.
Denise
6. God, I read the bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love, Alison
7. Dear God, How did you know you were God? Who told you?
Charlene
8. Dear God, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf
words in the house?
Anita
9. Dear God, I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the
whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
Nan
10. Dear God, Did you really mean "Do Unto Others As They Do Unto You?"
If you did then, I'm going to get even with my brother.
Darla
11. Dear God, I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really
made up some good ones. I like the one about walking on water, too.
Glenn
12. Dear God, My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy.
How far back do you go?
Love, Dennis
13. Dear God, Do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't,
who does?
Nan
14. Dear God, It's okay that you made different religions but don't you get
mixed up sometimes?
Arnold
15. Dear God, Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an
accident?
Norma
16. Dear God, In Bible times, did they really talk that fancy?
Jennifer
17. Dear God, What does it mean you are a jealous God? I thought you
had everything you wanted.
Jane
18. Dear God, How come you did all those miracles in the old days and
don't do any now?
Billy
19. Dear God, Please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year.
Peter
20. Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they
each had their own room. It works out OK with me and my brother.
Larry
21. Dear God, I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet.
What's up? Don't forget.
Mark
22. Dear God, You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways before
I cross the street.
Dean
23. Dear God, My brother told me about how you are born but it just doesn't
sound right. What do you say?
Marsha
24. Dear God, If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.
Barbara
25. Dear God, Is Reverend Coe really a friend of yours, or do you just know
him through the business?
Donny
26. Dear God, In Sunday School they told us what you do for a job. Who does
it when you are on vacation?
Jane
27. Dear God, In school we read that Thomas Edison made light, but in Sunday
School they said you did it first. Did he steal your idea?
Sincerely, Donna
28. Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well,
I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you
are already God.
Charles
29. Dear God, it is great the way you always get the stars in the right
place. Why can't you do that with the moon?
Jeff
30. Dear God, I am doing the best I can. Really.
Frank
31. Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset
you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool.
Carol
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project. It's a drama about famous
composers, starring top stars. Sylvester Stallone, Steven Segal, Bruce Willis
and Arnold Schwarzenegger were all present. Spielberg was prepared to allow
them to select whatever composers they would portray, as long as they were
very famous.
"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play
him."
"Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people saw
me playing the piano," said Willis.
"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Segal.
Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid."
Then, looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be, Arnold?"
Arnold said, "I'll be Bach."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A defence attorney was cross-examining a Chicago police officer during a
felony trial, and it went like this ...
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of
the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do
you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.
Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer --do you have a locker room
in the police station a room where you change your clothes in preparation
for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.
Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.
Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.
Q. Now why is it officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life,
that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with
those same officers?
A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes
lawyers have been known to walk through that room....
--
P.O. Box 484, Sanlamhof 7532, South Africa
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site.
Two biggish movies (one action, one rom-com) for your viewing pleasure
this week.
M O V I E S
Released 4 May 2012
* The Raven (16 V)
* Jannat 2 (Bollywood)
* Battleship (10 V)
* Think Like a Man (13M L)
* Coriolanus (16 V)
* Lessons of a Dream (13M VP)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm
SA Top Tens (commercial, nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm
Added US Top Ten. The other industry news on this page is
updated daily.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm
Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, NuMetro, MovieZone, CineCentre,
Woodlands, and Labia cinemas, and SK and Menlyn Park drive-ins.)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm
Forthcoming attractions for 11 and 18 May
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/
This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (nice desktop)
Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm
List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm
Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm
Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm
DVDs and BluRays:
Titles and details up later at
http://www.moviesite.co.za/videos/new.htm
(being held up by the Film and Publications Board site not working properly)
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)
Cheers, Ian
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Angela Merkel arrives at passport control in Athens:
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
.... "German" she replied.
"Occupation?"
...."No, just here for a few days"...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling
asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said:
"You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across,
held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and
settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to
bite my neck."
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you
going?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A policeman pulls over a driver who has a Lion Lager label stuck to his
forehead.
The policeman says "Have you been drinking?"
The driver replies "No, I've given up. I'm on the patches now."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Dear God, Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter.
There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
2. Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a
puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
Joyce
3. Dear Mr. God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come
apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
Janet
4. Dear God, If we come back as somebody else, please don't let me be
Jennifer Horton - because I hate her.
Denise
6. God, I read the bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love, Alison
7. Dear God, How did you know you were God? Who told you?
Charlene
8. Dear God, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf
words in the house?
Anita
9. Dear God, I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the
whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
Nan
10. Dear God, Did you really mean "Do Unto Others As They Do Unto You?"
If you did then, I'm going to get even with my brother.
Darla
11. Dear God, I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really
made up some good ones. I like the one about walking on water, too.
Glenn
12. Dear God, My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy.
How far back do you go?
Love, Dennis
13. Dear God, Do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't,
who does?
Nan
14. Dear God, It's okay that you made different religions but don't you get
mixed up sometimes?
Arnold
15. Dear God, Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an
accident?
Norma
16. Dear God, In Bible times, did they really talk that fancy?
Jennifer
17. Dear God, What does it mean you are a jealous God? I thought you
had everything you wanted.
Jane
18. Dear God, How come you did all those miracles in the old days and
don't do any now?
Billy
19. Dear God, Please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year.
Peter
20. Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they
each had their own room. It works out OK with me and my brother.
Larry
21. Dear God, I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet.
What's up? Don't forget.
Mark
22. Dear God, You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways before
I cross the street.
Dean
23. Dear God, My brother told me about how you are born but it just doesn't
sound right. What do you say?
Marsha
24. Dear God, If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.
Barbara
25. Dear God, Is Reverend Coe really a friend of yours, or do you just know
him through the business?
Donny
26. Dear God, In Sunday School they told us what you do for a job. Who does
it when you are on vacation?
Jane
27. Dear God, In school we read that Thomas Edison made light, but in Sunday
School they said you did it first. Did he steal your idea?
Sincerely, Donna
28. Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well,
I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you
are already God.
Charles
29. Dear God, it is great the way you always get the stars in the right
place. Why can't you do that with the moon?
Jeff
30. Dear God, I am doing the best I can. Really.
Frank
31. Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset
you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool.
Carol
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project. It's a drama about famous
composers, starring top stars. Sylvester Stallone, Steven Segal, Bruce Willis
and Arnold Schwarzenegger were all present. Spielberg was prepared to allow
them to select whatever composers they would portray, as long as they were
very famous.
"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play
him."
"Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people saw
me playing the piano," said Willis.
"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Segal.
Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid."
Then, looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be, Arnold?"
Arnold said, "I'll be Bach."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A defence attorney was cross-examining a Chicago police officer during a
felony trial, and it went like this ...
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of
the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do
you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.
Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer --do you have a locker room
in the police station a room where you change your clothes in preparation
for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.
Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.
Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.
Q. Now why is it officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life,
that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with
those same officers?
A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes
lawyers have been known to walk through that room....
--
P.O. Box 484, Sanlamhof 7532, South Africa
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site.
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