The Moviesite Updates, 1 June 2012

[Ian Douglas]

hi

Well Bella has decided to try her luck with someone more interested in
flesh than blood .... She's the big release for the week, though whether
she's up to challenging Will Smith, I don't know.

The other releases are a mixed bag, typical exam-time fare. If you're
writing, good luck :-)

There's previews next Thursday for What to Expect When You're Expecting,
see the previews page and remember to book.

M O V I E S

Released 1 June May 2012

* W.E. (16 LVD)
* The Three Stooges (PG V)
* Gone (16 V)     
* Snow White & the Huntsman (13M V)
* Rowdy Rathore (Bollywood)

http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm

SA Top Tens (commercial, nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Added US Top Ten. The other industry news on this page is
updated daily.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm

Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, NuMetro, MovieZone, CineCentre,
Woodlands, and Labia cinemas, and SK and Menlyn Park drive-ins.)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm

Forthcoming attractions for 8 and 15 June
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm

Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/

This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (a babe for the guys)

Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm

List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm

Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm

Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm


DVDs and BluRays:

Titles and details up later at
http://www.moviesite.co.za/videos/new.htm

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian

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The Secret Service issued new rules of conduct for agents Friday.
They can no longer get drunk, procure hookers or go to strip bars.
The rules say that from now on, if agents feel the need to engage in such
behavior, they can run for public office like everyone else.

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Six Golden Rules For F***ing

1. F***ing once a week is good for your health but harmful if done every day.

2. F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind and body.

3. F***ing refreshes you.

4. After f***ing don't eat too much; go for more liquids.

5. Try to do f***ing in bed because it can save you valuable energy.

6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol level.

So remember - Fasting is good for your health - and may the Lord cleanse your
Dirty Mind!

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ARE YOU A MALE OR FEMALE?
NOT SURE?
HAVE A LOOK FURTHER DOWN TO FIND OUT....

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NOT IN THE EMAIL YOU SILLY GIT !

I do worry about you sometimes!

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A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay
containing the following elements:

1) Religion
2) Royalty
3) Sex
4) Mystery

The prizewinner wrote:

"Good God", said the queen, "I'm pregnant, I wonder who did it"?

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American Medical Association researchers have made a remarkable discovery.

It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from
receiving chicken blood rather than human blood.

It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better.

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Just because the voices are not real doesn't mean their advice is no good.

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At a Santa Fe gas station:
"We will not sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."

In a New York restaurant:
"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."

On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law -- Sisters
 of Mercy"

On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:
"38 years on the same spot."

In a Los Angeles dance hall:
"Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."

In a New York drugstore:
"We dispense with accuracy."

In the offices of a loan company:
"Ask about our plans for owning your home."

In a New York medical building:
"Mental Health Prevention Centre"

On a New York convalescent home:
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."

On a Maine shop:
"Our motto - give customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."

At a number of military bases:
"Restricted to unauthorized personnel."

On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards:
"Now available in multi-packs."

In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
"Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."

In a funeral parlour:
"Ask about our layaway plan."

In a clothing store:
"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."

In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
"15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"

On a shopping mall marquee:
"Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced"

Outside a country shop:
"We buy junk and sell antiques."

In the window of an Oregon store:
"Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"

In a Maine restaurant:
"Open 7 days a week and weekends."

On a radiator repair garage:
"Best place to take a leak."

In the vestry of a New England church:
"Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is
extinguished."

In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."

On a roller coaster:
"Watch your head."

--
P.O. Box 484, Sanlamhof 7532, South Africa
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site.