The Moviesite Updates, 25 May 2012

[Ian Douglas]

hi

After last week's disappointing lineup the distributors are pulling out
the big guns... those guys in black are not only back, they GO back. Add
in another two heartthrobs in two very different movies, and most bases
are covered...

There's previews next Thursday for Bella's Snow White and the Huntsman, I
hope to have details of the movie and the showtimes up later.

M O V I E S

Released 25 May 2012

* The Rum Diary (13 LSD)     
* The Lucky One (13 SV)     
* Men in Black III (10M LV)
* Men in Black III (3D) (10M LV)

http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm

SA Top Tens (commercial, nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Added US Top Ten. The other industry news on this page is
updated daily.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm

Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, NuMetro, MovieZone, CineCentre,
Woodlands, and Labia cinemas, and SK and Menlyn Park drive-ins.)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm

Forthcoming attractions for 1 June
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm

Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/

This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (for the guys)

Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm

List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm

Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm

Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm


DVDs and BluRays:

Titles and details up later at
http://www.moviesite.co.za/videos/new.htm

(The Film and Publications Board have finally fixed their site so
the DVD section can be brought up to date now. Now if they would just add
the NEW MOVIE releases I would be a happy chappy.)

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian

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I had to run to the local grocery store. As I approached the entrance,
I noticed a driver looking for a parking space. I flagged the driver and
pointed out a parking space in the handicap area.

The driver looked puzzled. ''I'm not handicapped'' she said.

Well, was my face red. ''Oh, sorry about that, I saw your Obama Sticker and
just presumed ...''

She gave me the finger and called me some nasty names.

Sheesh!   Some people....

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I was in a bar on Saturday night... had a few... and I noticed two large
women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you
two ladies from Scotland?"

One of them chirped, "It's WALES you friggin' idiot!"

So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from
Scotland?"

That's the last thing I remember.

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My girlfriend wanted me to buy her a Siamese cat.

My mate told me that they are really expensive,

So I've bought 2 normal cats and glued their heads together.

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Doctor, to lady, during her examination: "Your heart, lungs, pulse & Blood
Pressure are fine.
Now let me see that little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of
trouble."

Lady started taking off her clothes . . . .

Doctor, stopping her: "No! No! Please put on your clothes - JUST SHOW ME
YOUR TONGUE!"

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Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one
when he was shot by the woman's husband.

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When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never
met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop
quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police
have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

--
P.O. Box 484, Sanlamhof 7532, South Africa
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site.