Zany Definitions

Tim Bruening

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Mar 4, 2005, 5:10:04 AM3/4/05

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Chemotaxonomist: A tax on smog.

Douglas D. Anderson

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Mar 4, 2005, 3:50:24 PM3/4/05

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote

> Chemotaxonomist: A tax on smog.

Histology: analytical study of past events.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 5, 2005, 3:28:24 AM3/5/05

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41822A1F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Ceasing: Computerized song.
> >
> > Circuit: Electrical knight.
>
> . . . or a set of components and instructions for building a knight.
> >
> > Easing: Song on the Internet.
> >
> > Icing: Another Internet song.
> >
> > Transistor: A daughter of the Mother Board.
>
> . . or a cross-dressing nun!

Airing: Ring worn by astronauts to supply them with oxygen.

Bearing: Ring worn by ursines for navigation.

Intent: Where campers sleep.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 17, 2005, 2:31:44 AM3/17/05

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37 months and 2 weeks since 02/02/02.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 22, 2005, 11:59:22 PM3/22/05

to

16 years and 11 months to 2/22/22.

nemo

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Mar 23, 2005, 8:14:29 AM3/23/05

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:4240F7AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> 16 years and 11 months to 2/22/22.

Two and a half ballet costumes.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 25, 2005, 1:56:41 AM3/25/05

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24 months and 3 weeks since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Apr 2, 2005, 3:25:23 AM4/2/05

to

38 months since 02/02/02.

Tim Bruening

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Apr 2, 2005, 3:25:56 AM4/2/05

to

2 x 19 months since 02/02/02.

Tim Bruening

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Apr 8, 2005, 5:07:04 AM4/8/05

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38.2 months since 02/02/02.

Tim Bruening

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Apr 13, 2005, 2:51:36 AM4/13/05

to

38 and 1/3rd months since 02/02/02.

Tim Bruening

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Apr 13, 2005, 2:51:31 AM4/13/05

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25.3 months since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Apr 13, 2005, 2:57:02 AM4/13/05

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Tim Bruening

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Apr 14, 2005, 2:41:46 AM4/14/05

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25 and 1/3rd months since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Apr 14, 2005, 4:02:21 AM4/14/05

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38.4 months since 02/02/02.

Tim Bruening

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Apr 23, 2005, 6:06:05 AM4/23/05

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37.7 months since 02/02/02.

nemo

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Apr 24, 2005, 11:50:27 AM4/24/05

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:426A1E0D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> 37.7 months since 02/02/02.

_
( \ /īŊ/)
\ ..\ /Ŋ../
\ ...\/..../
\īŊ/'...'/īŊ/Ŋ`·ļ
/'/.../..../......./ĻŊ\
('(...ī...ī.... Ŋ~/'...')
\.................'...../
''...\.......... _.·ī
\..............(
\.............\..

_
( \ /īŊ/)
\ ..\ /Ŋ../
\ ...\/..../
\īŊ/'...'/īŊ/Ŋ`·ļ
/'/.../..../......./ĻŊ\
('(...ī...ī.... Ŋ~/'...')
\.................'...../
''...\.......... _.·ī
\..............(
\.............\.. !

02/02/02!
The same to you!
How's yer father - alright!
Sitting on a dustbin - dead tight!

Tim Bruening

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Apr 28, 2005, 11:52:00 PM4/28/05

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25 and 5/6th months since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Jun 10, 2005, 4:18:21 AM6/10/05

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3 years, 3 months, and 1 week since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Jun 10, 2005, 4:18:46 AM6/10/05

to

39 months and 1 week since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Jun 11, 2005, 4:27:39 AM6/11/05

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40.3 months since 02/02/02.

Tim Bruening

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Jun 13, 2005, 3:10:15 AM6/13/05

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41E60EAD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Emu: Sound of an Internet Cow.
> >
> > Emu: Internet subatomic particle.
> >
> > Ebay: Where computers swim.
> >
> > Icing: Downloaded Internet songs.
>
> Compressing: Song in a ZIP file.

Which go in pant files?

nemo

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Jun 15, 2005, 11:40:27 AM6/15/05

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:42AD3157...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Howd'ya file a pant?

Tim Bruening

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Jun 20, 2005, 1:34:04 AM6/20/05

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Happy Juneteenth, a day to celebrate the end of slavery.

nemo

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Jun 21, 2005, 11:16:34 AM6/21/05

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:42B6554C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> Happy Juneteenth, a day to celebrate the end of slavery.
>

It's amazing what can be achieved by a man with a Wilberforceful
personality!

http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/REwilberforce.htm

And to end it on other planets, Wilberforce be with you!

Nemo
Not for nothing the Numbo One Punster!
For £3 - 18s - 0d actually!

Tim Bruening

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Jun 26, 2005, 5:35:00 PM6/26/05

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40.8 months since 02/02/02.

Tim Bruening

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Jun 27, 2005, 5:51:56 AM6/27/05

to

740 days to 07/07/07, which is the 100th anniversary of SF writer Robert
Heinlien!

nemo

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Jun 28, 2005, 6:20:47 AM6/28/05

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:42BFCC3B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> 740 days to 07/07/07, which is the 100th anniversary of SF writer Robert
> Heinlien!
>

His birth, Briss, <snip!> Bar Mitzvah, marriage or death?

Chris Garcia

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Jun 28, 2005, 1:58:23 PM6/28/05

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Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in news:42BFCC3B.FBA5C727
@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us:

> 740 days to 07/07/07, which is the 100th anniversary of SF writer Robert
> Heinlien!

Hmm.. My next birthday is going to be 6/6/6 .. Which is in 340 days.

-Chris

Aaron Snyder

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Jun 28, 2005, 4:37:51 PM6/28/05

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On 6/28/05 12:58 PM, in article
Xns968383FD3943Nc...@68.1.17.6, "Chris Garcia"
<NcOhS...@chrisgarcia.com> wrote:

My next birthday is going to be 5/6/6. I have no idea how many days that
is.

Tim Bruening

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Jun 28, 2005, 10:30:35 PM6/28/05

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27.83333333333333333333333333333333333333 months since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Jun 29, 2005, 3:17:05 AM6/29/05

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Aaron Snyder wrote:

310 days.

Steve Simmons

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Jun 29, 2005, 4:52:28 PM6/29/05

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Chris <NcOhS...@chrisgarcia.com> wrote on 06/28/05 at 17:58:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote

>> 740 days to 07/07/07, which is the 100th anniversary of SF writer Robert
>> Heinlien!

> Hmm.. My next birthday is going to be 6/6/6 .. Which is in 340 days.

Mine is 7/6/5, which is in a week. Not that it's anything important, but
it does kind of sound like a countdown...

Duke of URL

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Jun 29, 2005, 7:56:39 PM6/29/05

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I'm amazed no fire&brimstone preacher has started a new end-of-the-world
cult keyed to that date ... yet.
--
Moses.D...@gmail.com
Cliologist, Philanthropologist, Prothonotary Wibbler,
Paleoconservative, Surface Warrior Squid

Cybe R. Wizard

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Jun 29, 2005, 9:39:45 PM6/29/05

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On Wed, 29 Jun 2005 20:52:28 GMT
Steve Simmons <s...@spam.trap.try.di.organization.abbreviated> wrote:

> slrn/0.9.8.0 (Linux)

And still a cross-poster?
For shame!

Cybe R. Wizard
--
Unofficial "Wizard of Odds," A.H.P.
Original PORG "Water Wizard," R.P.
"Wize(ned) Wizard," A.P.F-P-Y.
Barely Tolerated Wizard, A.J.L & A.A.L

Jedi Jonny

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Jul 2, 2005, 1:28:52 PM7/2/05

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"Steve Simmons" <s...@spam.trap.try.di.organization.abbreviated> wrote in
message news:slrndc62g...@sybil.sph.umich.edu...

here in the UK, your birthday would have been last month

nemo

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Jul 3, 2005, 7:31:23 AM7/3/05

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"Jedi Jonny" <spamremo...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:o9Axe.24771$G2.2...@fe1.news.blueyonder.co.uk...

Mine was on the 11th of Munch. I had a very big cake!

Nemo
Not for nothing the Numbo One Punster!

For £3 - 18s - 11½d actually!
That's including V.A.T. - Vear And Tear!

Tim Bruening

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Jul 6, 2005, 12:17:27 AM7/6/05

to

732 days to 07/07/07.

Beowulf Bolt

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Jul 6, 2005, 3:08:09 PM7/6/05

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Tim Bruening wrote:
>
> 732 days to 07/07/07.

Whoopee-doo.

Biff

--
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"All around me darkness gathers, fading is the sun that shone,
we must speak of other matters, you can be me when I'm gone..."
- SANDMAN #67, Neil Gaiman
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris Garcia

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Jul 8, 2005, 4:00:14 AM7/8/05

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Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in

news:42CB5B57...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us:

> 732 days to 07/07/07.
>

Go away.

Tim Bruening

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Jul 23, 2005, 1:05:56 PM7/23/05

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41 months and 3 weeks since 02/02/02.

Tim Bruening

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Aug 2, 2005, 1:28:42 AM8/2/05

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nemo

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Aug 4, 2005, 8:53:12 AM8/4/05

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:42EF0489...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Pantograph: Records on paper the variations in power consumption of an
electric train with a comical Chrismas play for kids taking place on board.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 3, 2005, 12:32:12 AM9/3/05

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43 months since 02/02/02.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 3, 2005, 12:32:31 AM9/3/05

to

3 years and 7 months since 02/02/02.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 6, 2005, 11:35:43 PM9/6/05

to

3/4ths of a year to 06/06/06.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 6, 2005, 11:35:46 PM9/6/05

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.75 years to 06/06/06.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 6, 2005, 11:35:48 PM9/6/05

to

3 squared months to 06/06/06.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 6, 2005, 11:35:51 PM9/6/05

to

9 months to 06/06/06.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 6, 2005, 11:35:53 PM9/6/05

to

2 years and 6.1 months since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 6, 2005, 11:35:56 PM9/6/05

to

30.1 months since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 8, 2005, 2:51:30 AM9/8/05

to

22 months to 07/07/07, which is the 100th anniversary of SF writer
Robert
Heinlien!

nemo

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Sep 8, 2005, 8:36:03 AM9/8/05

to

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:431FDF72...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> 22 months to 07/07/07, which is the 100th anniversary of SF writer
> Robert
> Heinlien!

Any relation to Robert Home-loan?

Tim Bruening

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Sep 8, 2005, 9:46:24 PM9/8/05

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30 and 1/6th months since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 8, 2005, 9:46:27 PM9/8/05

to

3 years and 7.2 months since 02/02/02.

John Evans

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Sep 8, 2005, 9:50:23 PM9/8/05

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You fucktard.

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:4320E970...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Message has been deleted

Jedi Jonny

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Sep 9, 2005, 5:08:29 PM9/9/05

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"nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit> wrote in message
news:TeWTe.26589$2n6....@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...

No, but he is second cousin to Roberta Washing-Lien

Message has been deleted

Tim Bruening

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Sep 9, 2005, 9:03:33 PM9/9/05

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4 years to 09/09/09.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 9, 2005, 9:06:37 PM9/9/05

to

6 years since 9/9/99. On that day, I chaired a Yolo County Green Party
meeting.

nemo

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Sep 9, 2005, 11:54:37 PM9/9/05

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"Jedi Jonny" <spamremo...@hotmail.com> wrote in message

news:hRmUe.18300$fb....@fe1.news.blueyonder.co.uk...

Aha! That's the thing that Hondapants go up and down at 100MPH, ain't it -
and eventually get stolen by pick-knickers?!

nemo

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Sep 10, 2005, 8:31:40 AM9/10/05

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:4322319D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> 6 years since 9/9/99. On that day, I chaired a Yolo County Green Party
> meeting.

Why is 666 unlucky?

Because over here if you dial it, three policemen arrive on their heads!

nemo

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Sep 10, 2005, 8:55:09 AM9/10/05

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"John Evans" <jeva...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:zT5Ue.2788$6e1....@newssvr14.news.prodigy.com...

Aha! A troll.

Lets hope he gets run over by a trolleybus!

Tim Bruening

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Sep 12, 2005, 9:26:58 PM9/12/05

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30.3 months since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 12, 2005, 9:27:20 PM9/12/05

to

43 and 1/3rd months since 02/02/02.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 12, 2005, 9:27:44 PM9/12/05

to

20 and 1/3rd months since 01/02/04.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 15, 2005, 11:27:19 PM9/15/05

to

6 years and 6 days since 9/9/99. On that day, I chaired a Yolo County
Green Party meeting.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 15, 2005, 11:27:28 PM9/15/05

to

30.4 months since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 18, 2005, 3:02:49 PM9/18/05

to

22 years to 9/18/27.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 18, 2005, 3:02:58 PM9/18/05

to

31 years to 9/18/36.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 18, 2005, 3:03:03 PM9/18/05

to

19 years and 3 months to 12/18/24.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 18, 2005, 3:03:07 PM9/18/05

to

22 years and 3 months to 12/18/27.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 18, 2005, 11:19:22 PM9/18/05

to

30.5 months since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 21, 2005, 9:53:24 PM9/21/05

to

30.6 months since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 28, 2005, 3:03:09 AM9/28/05

to

30 and 5/6th months since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Sep 30, 2005, 4:20:39 PM9/30/05

to

30.9 months since 03/03/03.

Tim Bruening

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Oct 1, 2005, 12:06:51 AM10/1/05

to

43 months and 4 weeks since 02/02/02.

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:20:37 AM10/8/05

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:411872B1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Webber: Cold Internet basketball player.
>
> How come? Is thw webber freezing over there?
> >
> > Webster: Spinning Internet.

Web brrrrrrrrr.....

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:20:52 AM10/8/05

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:4118738E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Babble: Cross between a sheep and a male cow.
> >
> > Bubble: A fat male cow.
> >
> > Hortense: A nervous prostitute.
> >
> > Hubble: Very far seeing bull.
> >
> > Gable: Homosexual bull.
> >
> > Lamba: Male sheep that has bred.
> >
> > Rubble: A ruined bull.
> >
> > Yuba: Sound of a female sheep (Ewe) or a tree sheep (Yew).
> >
> > Yuban: Ban on female sheep or a certain tree (Yew).
>
> Bubble Sextant: Baby male cow who guards the church ornaments and can not
> only jump over the moon but can also shoot the stars and sun.

Sextant: Ant on Viagra.

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:20:59 AM10/8/05

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41E60EAD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Emu: Sound of an Internet Cow.
> >
> > Emu: Internet subatomic particle.
> >
> > Ebay: Where computers swim.
> >
> > Icing: Downloaded Internet songs.
>
> Compressing: Song in a ZIP file.

Which go in pant files?

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:21:05 AM10/8/05

to

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:26:33 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:42AC19D5...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

>
> nemo wrote:
>
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:3FCAF515...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> > > news:3FC91B1B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Legible: Bull with writing.
> > > >
> > > Legibility: Beverage you feed to a make goat so that it can
read.
> >
> > What is a make goat? How is it different from other goat
species?
>
> Baaah! A tie poe!! Sposed 2B a male goat.
>
> Don't worry. I'm learning proper touch-typing. Looked at a few job
> vacancies
> last week and I had everything they wanted except 40 WPM copy
typing.
>
> Vacancy: Empty ocean.
>
Vacancy: The look in Dubbaya's eyes!

Timing: Chinese vase with neckwear.

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:27:21 AM10/8/05

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nemo wrote:

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:42AC1B8F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> Kathy wrote:
>
> > "Buffalo Chilkat" <mam...@watering.hole> wrote in message
> > news:9togqvocm60lob63m...@4ax.com...
> > >
> > > A window fell from high above and became embedded deeply within
the
> > > hindquarters of a donkey standing on the street below. What a
pane in
> > > the ass.
> >
> > Perhaps the donkey could file a glass action suit.
>
> Against Microsoft (The makers of Windows).

Yeah. Their software's a pane!

Hardware: Worn by knights, cops, and soldiers.

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:28:30 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:42AC1CC2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> ynotssor wrote:
>
> > "Sritk" <sr...@aol.com> wrote in message
> > news:20040301132536...@mb-m03.aol.com
> >
> > > Why isn't Rhode Island surrounded by water?
> >
> > Global war-ming.
>
> War-ming: Hostile chinese vase.
>
> Hostile: Aggressive fence.
>
> Fencing: Singing barrier.

"Foiled again!" say those who the barrier stops.

Smacking: King of kisses.

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:29:57 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:42AC1D0E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

>
>
> headdr wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> > news:4047C83E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Countryside: Murder of a nation.
> > >
> > > Countryside. Murder of the environment.
> > >
> > Beside: Killing the hive.
> > Curbside: Doing away with your inhibitions.
> > Herbicide: A no salt diet.
> > Genocide: Killing a short fat Italian.
> > Poultricide: Choking your chicken.
>
> C-Side: Murdering the ocean.
>
> C-Side: Murdering a computer.
>
> D-Side: Murdering a demon.
>
Indecision: Opening cut, hesitantly made by an Asian surgeon.

Not a Native American surgeon?

Nemo
Not for nothing the Numbo One Punster!
For £3 - 16s - 2d actually!
Who's da man?? Who's da man??

(What's diss big slimy insect thingey doing wrapped up in maa
parachute?)

What big slimy insect thingey?

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:31:20 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:42AC1D3E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Asking: King with questions.
>
> Asking: Donkey king.
>
> Barking: Dog king.
>
> Beaking: Apine king.
>
> Beaking: Bird king.

Bilko: Debt-collecting company run by a bird.

Not an anti-Apartheid activist named Steve who was murdered in 1976,
energizing the anti-Apartheid movement worldwide?

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:32:04 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:42AC1D4B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Braking: Stopped king.
>
> Braking: Donkey king.
>
> Breaking: Destructive king.
>
> Gawking: Tourist king.
>
> Kayaking: King with oars.

In other words, a monarch in a brothel.

Canoedling: Snogging in a kayak.

Bamboozle: Small exploding alcoholic drink.

Also a Molitov Cocktail.

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:32:43 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:42AC1D9B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> > news:408BDBC0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Do they make Semtecks cigars?
> > > >
> > > > (If I spelled it right the bells would start ringing at the
CIA and
> > > > GCHQ/MI5!!)
> > >
> > > What's subversive about Semtecks cigars?
> > >
> >
> > All messy jizz are scanned by the so-called authorities for key
words to
do
> > with Dubya's trrrrrrrrrrssm and the ones containing same are
automatically
> > saved for investigation.
> >
> > So much for the A Fish Haul Squeak Writs Act!
> >
> > Explosive: Something that used to be a plosive!
>
> That should get the FBI's attention!
>
> FBI: Federal bee seeing organs.

Narr. It's a SPY with a bad lifp!

Piece of paper you take to the Fupermarket: Shopping Lifp.

Newton: 2,000 lb amphibian.

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:33:09 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

Newton: 2,000 lb cookie.

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:34:09 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:42AD2C77...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Lurker: Dog who reads but doesn't post in the Internet.
>
> Planker: Wooden dog.
>
> Smacker: Dog who slaps people.
>
> Snacker: Dog who eats a lot.
>
> Sneaker: Shoe dog.
>
> Sneaker: Dog who's good at not being seen.

Creep soles: Bottoms of Dubbaya's footwear.

Newton: 2,000 lb gravity scientist.

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:37:00 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:4226CC77...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Dougal wrote:
> >
> > > On Sun, 13 Jun 2004 13:08:36 -0700, Larry Krzewinski
> > > <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > >You'd better stop or I'm going to kick you with my Schumann.
> > >
> > > All these composer puns have Strauss-ed me out.
> >
> > Composer: Music writing knight.
> >
> >
> Decomposer: Dead and buried music writer.

Russian and Soviet artists and composers are buried daily except
Thursdays.

Tim Bruening

unread,

Oct 8, 2005, 3:38:07 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:4226CEA6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> > > news:4224341A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> > > > > news:41D90278...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Compress: Computer newspaper.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Depress: Sad newspaper.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Express: Failed paper.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Oppress, Repress, and Suppress: Newspapers that follow the party
> line.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Presley: Korean newspaper.
> > > > > >
> > > > > Elvish Presley: Musical Lord of the Rings newspaper.
> > > >
> > > > Elfish: L-shaped sea animal eaten by elves and hobbits.
> > > >
> > > Hobbits: Very naughty Japanese pictures with the ocean missing.
> >
> > Why is the female ocean singing?
> >
>
> She's happy coz she's just got a grant from the charity Merm Aid.

Run by Mer Cy.

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:38:36 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

> ynotssor <ynot...@example.net> wrote in message
> news:38omv1F...@individual.net...
> > "Cyberbilly" <goo...@cyberbilly.net> wrote in message
> > news:1109854555.5...@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
> >
> > > YOUR PUNS SUCK!
> >
> > ... your puns suck, let down your hair ...
> >
>
> An abstract can't create a vacuum!
>
> Hoover could. Dyson can, but an abstract can't!

My mom bought a Neptune in June.

Tim Bruening

unread,

Oct 8, 2005, 3:40:26 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:422A9B37...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > fubwat <fub...@fubwat.karoo.co.uk> wrote in message
> > > news:U0idnVw1v8E...@karoo.co.uk...
> > > >
> > > > "nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit> wrote in message
> > > > news:x1%Vd.290010$K7.2...@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk...

> > > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> > > > > news:42282C4F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >> nemo wrote:
> > > > >>
> > > > >> > Buffalo Chilkat <mam...@watering.hole> wrote in message

> > > > >> > news:6v1uqv0e716tm5aer...@4ax.com...
> > > > >> > > On Sun, 09 Nov 2003 18:07:06 GMT, "nemo"
> <ne...@naughtylass2.wet>

> > > > >> > > wrote:
> > > > >> > >
> > > > >> > > >
> > > > >> > > >Buffalo Chilkat <mam...@watering.hole> wrote in message

> > > > >> > > >news:rsssqvgc6rpdv08ke...@4ax.com...
> > > > >> > > >>
> > > > >> > > >> College of Marine Biology - schools of fish!
> > > > >> > > >
> > > > >> > > >Ditto for Cetaceans: University of Wales.
> > > > >> > > >
> > > > >> > >
> > > > >> > > Thanks for baleen me out.
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > that's all "Right"
> > > > >>
> > > > >> Can you Pilot me through the great Blue sea?
> > > > >>
> > > > > Whale I'll try . .
> > > > >
> > > > Whale oil beef hooked
> > > >
> > > LOL!
> > >
> > > How barb-erous! Still, whatever turns ewe on!
> >
> > A Sperm Whale?
> >
> Nuffinck 2 do with spermatozoa. The name comes from spermaceti, a waxy
> substance from inside its head.
>
> I wonder if that's Dubbaya's trouble. Wax for brains!
>
> Drill a hole in his head and put a wick in and he'd make a good candle. He'd
> be a lot more use as a candle than he is as a president!

You want a burning Bush?

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:40:46 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:422C2029...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Space Bar: Where astronauts drink.
>
> Like in Spaceballs with a *very* unusual cabaret?
> >
> > Space Bar: Association of lawyers who are out of this world.
> >
> > Space Bar: Astronaut prison.
> >
>
> Re-turnkey: To hire a new gaoler/jailer.
>
> Start Key: Makes a big, grey menu pop up and make you jump.
>
> Caps Lock: Stops your hat blowing away.
>
> SysRq: Ruins your female sibling.
>
> Page Up/Page Down: Instructions used repeatedly to a young male servant
> during nefer-wry-arse activities.
>
> Num Lock: Stops your leg giving way when you stand up after you've lost all
> feeling and control over it by sitting far too long in front of the PC.

What about the F keys?

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:41:13 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

What about the Break key?

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:43:29 AM10/8/05

to

"Greg Evans" <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:<2kl0cmF...@uni-berlin.de>...
> Mos wrote:
>
> >> Mea culpa.
> >
> > You're a couple of what ?
>
> Cards short of a full deck.

Carding: Musical auto.

Decking: 10 kings.

Forking: 4 kings.

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:45:19 AM10/8/05

to

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41265902...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > KIMEVANS <kime...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
> > > news:WWvjc.782$TT....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> > > > demanded: the man dinged once too often
> > > >
> > > Demanded: Demised satanic helper.
> >
> > Remanded: Man dies again.
>
> Remanded in Custody: Man dies by falling into flavoured cornflour or eggs
> and milk again.

Custody: Swearing amphibian.

Custody: Swearing amphibian demon.

Tim Bruening

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Oct 8, 2005, 3:46:12 AM10/8/05

to

mike wheeEler wrote:

> In article <20030927214019.1ea...@minesprig.com>,
> cyber_...@minesprig.com, Cybe R. Wizard was looking at the world oddly when:
> >
> >On Sun, 28 Sep 2003 02:36:57 GMT
> >"Cybe R. Wizard" <cyber_...@minesprig.com> wrote:
> >
> >> On Sat, 27 Sep 2003 19:26:51 -0700
> >> "Sy Knight" <jblv...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> >>
> >> >
> >> > Flatulent Dingo wrote ...
> >> > >
> >> > > Hello Nick,
> >> > >
> >> > > On Thu, 25 Sep 2003, at 13:57:43 [GMT-0700] (which was Fri,
> >> > > 6:57:43 Australian Eastern Time) you wrote:
> >> > > > Aye, they are a brogish lot. One was seen aubergine.
> >> > >
> >> > > I am green with envy.
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > She was well, red.
> >> >
> >> So what does she charge per pull?
> >>
> >> Cybe
> >
> >Whatever it is it will make you yell, "Oh!"
> >
> Now That is a pull it surprise!

Surprise: Knight of game shows.