Your Address, Zero
$Zero
9758Q
"Gene Royer" <int...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
<lu...@bellatlantic.net> ungrateful bastard responded:
>> Zeroconscience Wrote:
>>
>>>i can't send any money, 'cause i
>>>sent my last ten bucks to Wayne last year.
>>>and i'd like it back (with
>>>interest, postage and money order fees).
>>
>>You are beneath contempt.
since i'm standing on your shiny head,
what does that make you?
>>e-mail your address, now.
>>I couldn't get it to you fast enough.
>>
>> - lutz
hey, it's nothing against your wife,
i hope she is recovering painlessly
and that your children are fine.
apparently though, you could afford to
fly to texas for the wrevel
so, i doubt the $10.00 + will kill you.
>Gene writes:
>And if Wayne can't come up with it Geno can.
well, it's nice to see everyone's rolling in cash.
you can either send it to me:
Peter Magliarditi
Dept 333 MLR14764
Lewiston NY 14092-0426
or give it Jayne Hitchock in my name.
(just make sure you add the interest on
the postage and M.O. fee as well)
-$Zero... IfYouSendItToMe... BeWarnedThat... ItWillBeOpenedBy...
AFederalEmployee... WhileIWait... FromASafeDistance...
gee wayne, you could have just sent me an email. oh wait. i forgot.
another opportune moment to display your moral (hypocritical) superiority
`'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``' Day 13196
TheASCIIGraphicAbove...PaysHomageTo...MW'sSteadyFairnessAndEqualJustice
AsOf...9709032050EST...IHaveZeroControlOverAnythingWrittenBelow:
-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
The Last Real Marlboro Man
Zeroconscience Wrote:
> i can't send any money, 'cause i
>sent my last ten bucks to Wayne last year. and i'd like it back (with
>interest, postage and money order fees).
You are beneath contempt.
Gene Royer
The Last Real Marlboro Man <lu...@bellatlantic.net> wrote in article
<F73D80093DFA1EC4.F6D83E04...@library-proxy.airnews.ne
t>...
Gene writes:
$Zero
9754Q
"Gene Royer" <int...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>$Zero <ze...@hour.com> wrote:
>> 9758Q
>> apparently though, you could afford to
>> fly to texas for the wrevel
>> so, i doubt the $10.00 + will kill you.
>Gene writes:
>I believe we have The Net God and his lovely wife Wendy to thank
>for Wayne's flight to the Wrevel. And a grand Wrevel it was. Sorry
>you weren't able to make it. You would have had a nice time.
i highly doubt the selectively moral Wendy would give me a charity
ticket. articulate opposing views not allowed. censured by Wendy. case
closed. hell bound.
>> >And if Wayne can't come up with it Geno can.
>> well, it's nice to see everyone's rolling in cash.
>No, not everyone. Only those of us with jobs,
jobs huh? what an archiac concept.
i gave up that bad habit long ago, *before* it was cool.
>or we who write for $$$'s.
we who write to communicate,
to express without censorship,
get our reward elsewhere
if i all i wrote for was the money,
i'd have become a lawyer or an accountant.
>--Gene<pioneer in the industry>royer
>
>> you can either send it to me:
>>
>> Peter Magliarditi
>> Dept 333 MLR14764
>> Lewiston NY 14092-0426
>>
>> or give it Jayne Hitchock in my name.
>> (just make sure you add the interest on
>> the postage and M.O. fee as well)
>>
>> -$Zero...
hmmm... VERY interesting snip job here Gene. I'll keep it in mind.
-$Zero... <---MyStandardDailyRate... ForCompletePersonalLibertyAndFreedom
BTW: i find it pretty ironic that Wayne called me ZeroConscience in his
post here. Only someone with ZeroConscience would give their last ten
dollars to a virtual stranger in need. That Wayne is a consistent
ungrateful bastard, ain't he? such are hypocritical christians.
`'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``' Day 13197
TheASCIIGraphicAbove...PaysHomageTo...MW'sStraightLineMorality
AsOf...9709040047EST...IHaveZeroControlOverAnythingWrittenBelow:
The Last Real Marlboro Man
On Wed, 03 Sep 1997 19:51:45 -0600, $Zero <ze...@hour.com> wrote:
>gee wayne, you could have just sent me an email. oh wait. i forgot.
>another opportune moment to display your moral (hypocritical) superiority
More zerologic. It's ok for him to publicly humiliate me, but if I
respond publicly, I am opportunistic and hypocritical. Of course. How
silly of me.
I told him *that* by e-mail, privately. Until I realized that this
was a cc of a post, and not just an e-mail.
Guess what, Zero? Up until now, I was never told who contributed to
that gift, or by how much. No one here ever mentioned it, publicly or
privately. It just came, anonymously, in one lump.
It was the kindest, most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. I
was dumbstruck, and humbled.
And now you have dirtied it, like you dirtied Kathie's birthday
thread, like you dirty every attempt to befriend you.
But you will justify your filth with a conspiracy theory, or by some
means of twisted, self-serving illogic.
You deserve everything you get.
- lutz
chris mclaughlin
I like a little heffe weissen, myself. But I
think the slugs might prefer lager.
What about you?
I mean, if you are going to drown yourself in drink?
Chris
Pat Marcello
> The Last Real Marlboro Man <lu...@bellatlantic.net> wrote in article
>
<F73D80093DFA1EC4.F6D83E04...@library-proxy.airnews.ne
> t>...
> > Zeroconscience Wrote:
> >
> > > i can't send any money, 'cause i
> > >sent my last ten bucks to Wayne last year. and i'd like it back (with
> > >interest, postage and money order fees).
> >
> > You are beneath contempt.
> > e-mail your address, now. I couldn't get it to you fast enough.
> >
> > - lutz
cc: Zero
Listen, Pete, what I said in that other thread about posting Sal's e-mail
was the icing? This is the candle on the cake.
--
Pat M. I'm appalled.
Support the Jayne Hitchcock HELP Fund:
http://www.geocities.com/~hitchcockc/story.html#fund
Glynne G. Barbier
The Last Real Marlboro Man wrote:
[gentle snip]
> I owe you. All of you. I owe you in ways that I will never really be
> able to repay. But I am deeply, profoundly, and forever grateful, and
> I will continue to try to give back.
> - Wayne
What you give you will receive.
Glynne (Whose day just got a little better.)
The Last Real Marlboro Man
On 4 Sep 97 19:08:44 GMT, gekko <ge...@aztec.asu.edu> wrote:
>PS: apologies to my friend Wayne, if this embarrasses him. but it
> needs to be said publically.
Well. After almost a year, one twenty four hour period has seen for
the first time the open discussion of the "Wayne Lutz Charity" of last
Christmas, and the "charity" Wrevel plane tickets, of which I was the
humble recipient.
Regardless of my feelings about this, the fact is that I am now free
to publicly acknowledge those two gifts, and that I would be grossly
negligent if I did not use this opportunity to do so.
For the benefit of those of you who came later, and are wondering what
the hell this is all about, I'll give you the short version. The rest
of you, who have heard this story ad nauseam, feel free to skip the
next paragraph or two.
After four months of prolific posting to misc.writing, my posts
stopped cold on August 13th, 1996. I had just posted a few articles
to the newsgroup, and at around 10:30pm was watching the Republican
National Convention on TV. My wife put our two dogs on their leashes
and took them out for their final walk of the evening. It was my turn
to walk them, not hers. I protested, very weakly, and she gently
insisted that she didn't mind. She could see how wrapped up I was in
the television and wanted to let me relax. To this day I haven't
forgiven myself for that laziness on my part.
Fifteen minutes later I heard the screeching of tires, a woman
screaming, and the sickening sound that can only be made by metal and
glass meeting flesh and bone. I knew instantly what had happened. I
raced out of the front door and to the corner. The first thing that I
saw was the body of my dog in the intersection. When I looked further
down the street I saw another body; motionless, twisted, and lying in
a pool of blood. It was my dear wife of 23 years, and she and the
dogs had been run down by a speeding car, and I thought that she was
dead.
To cut to the chase, she was not dead, of course, but she was very
badly injured. She has suffered tremendously for more than a year
now, gets around slowly on crutches, and will be at least partially
crippled for the rest of her life (she is 38 now, and beautiful).
Ok, the rest of you can pick it up here. I know that I have not
cornered the market in personal tragedy. Many have had much worse
happen. Many are living with much worse now. My wife is alive and we
are living as happily as ever, just a little differently, is all.
What makes my story different is this newsgroup. After MaBear finally
got through to me by e-mail and posted to the group what had happened,
there was an outpouring of love and support for me and mine to rival
the royal family, albeit on a slightly smaller scale. I was
dumbfounded by this. I was stunned and humbled and comforted by the
messages; real, heartfelt messages, that I received.
This outpouring of love in itself would have been far more than anyone
could reasonably expect. Where in real life can we find this much
support and loyalty?
But the kicker came two days before Christmas. The mail was
delivered, and as I sorted through the cards and bills, I came to one
with a return address in Texas, from one Mrs. Wendy Green. I was
thrilled, and waved it in front of my wife like a little kid with his
first valentine. I had never gotten a tangible through snail mail
from a newsgroup member before.
I opened the card, and my jaw quite literally fell open. Inside the
card was a check. The amount of the check was Five Hundred and Fifty
Dollars. (now reduced to $538 and change, but that's ok).
My first words, when my mouth closed, were, "No. No no no no no."
But then as I read Wendy's beautiful, hand-written note, it dawned on
me how this had come to be. This money had been painstakingly
collected from *all* of the group. For me. For my wife and me. I
called Wendy on the phone, another first for me (she had been careless
enough to send a check with her address and phone number printed on
it) and if I remember correctly, I stammered a lot, and did not say
much that was intelligible. But I was trying to express my profound
gratitude.
Dear God in Heaven, I love you people.
And then, two months ago, and as if I had not been given enough, I
received a "request" from Mr. Harwood that I consent to be the second
"guest of honor" at the Wrevel, and that my expenses would be paid (by
him) if I were to accept.
I have spoken before, recently, of how much that trip meant to me. I
might not have believed that it could be possible to solidify even
further the bonds that I have with you. But the Wrevel did just that.
The people who were there, Paul, Wendy, Rick, Gene, Nancy, Chris,
Carol, Barbara, Glynne, Lars, Sal, Anna, were somehow, in a very real
sense, representative of *all* of you.
If I were to hit the lottery for 40 million, and divide the money
equally among all of you, it would not begin to repay the debt that I
owe, because that would be too easy.
Thomas Michaels
Damn it, Lutz. It's been a long time since someone's brought tears to
my eyes.
No joke, this time.
Tom Michaels
"I was born to question everything---especially my sanity."
---Al Simmons
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~This space dedicated to the wondrous and unique Zero...may he never be silenced~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paul Harwood
On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 03:10:30 GMT, The Last Real Marlboro Man said in
misc.writing:
>Well. After almost a year, one twenty four hour period has seen for
>the first time the open discussion of the "Wayne Lutz Charity" of last
>Christmas, and the "charity" Wrevel plane tickets, of which I was the
>humble recipient.
No charity involved with those plane tickets, dood. You were a Duly
Selected Guest of Honor. That entitled you to some bennies. <By the
way: Were the chicks in your hotel room to your liking? I never did
follow up on that>.
And seeing you sniff that pair of panties was priceless.
You might have given Chris a little more time to get them off, but
that's a minor quibble.
Anyway: Now you know why you were a guest of honor. Check out all the
good press you're giving wrevels. See? It's pure marketing.
And I do know my stuff with marketing.
And I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
--
Paul Harwood
"You have to have a concave navel to
make love to a sunbeam." -Lucy Irvine
Paul Harwood
On 4 Sep 1997 18:53:49 GMT, chris mclaughlin said in misc.writing:
Buy generic beer for the slugs. They won't know the difference. <Of
course, you *are* from Milwaukee, so maybe your slugs are different>
If I'm going to drown *myself* in drink, well, that's another matter.
I find that a couple of bottles of a good cabernet or merlot will
usually do the trick. Or a bottle of a good single malt scotch.
Let's see. What else. A companion is absolutely essential, of course,
for a Finer Drowning Experience. A good cigar can make you look a
little more sober than you actually are. Hmmm. Maybe some cheese or
other finger food, just so you can lie to yourself about alcohol
absorption.
Oh yes: You'll eventually try and brush something from your shoulder,
only to find it's the floor. Carpeting is a godsend.
Thomas Michaels
On Thu, 04 Sep 1997 15:04:25 GMT, Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul
Harwood) wrote:
>
>Besides: Wayne would have beat you up had you been there. And I may
>well have helped him.
Oh, sure---Zero would have gotten beat up. What about me? If I'd
shown up, would I have been beaten up? Would I have been pounded to a
pulp, until my bruised and battered form cried out for death? Would I
have been trampled and pummeled?
Just wondering...
Jan S.
On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 03:25:55 GMT, Thomas Michaels (jes...@airmail.net)
says...
>
>On Thu, 04 Sep 1997 15:04:25 GMT, Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul
>Harwood) wrote:
>
>>
>>Besides: Wayne would have beat you up had you been there. And I may
>>well have helped him.
>
>Oh, sure---Zero would have gotten beat up. What about me? If I'd
>shown up, would I have been beaten up? Would I have been pounded to a
>pulp, until my bruised and battered form cried out for death? Would I
>have been trampled and pummeled?
>
>Just wondering...
>
Depends. How much were you planning to offer them to beat you to a bloody
pulp?
--jan (not that I'm offering to broker the deal, you understand. 's'not my
job here.)
chris mclaughlin
Wayne, three years ago things were pretty bad for
me. We had Christmas, though, because of the
generosity of a friend who reached into
her wallet and handed me $500.
I know just how you feel. Embarrassed and
blessed.
Excuse me, but fuck Peter very much. He's
a boor. Don't let him get to you, Wayne.
Chris
(someday, you and I'll be the ones handing
off the $500. . .)
D. Citron
--> WARNING: Remove the "BOINGGG!" or your reply will BOUNCE! <--
Don't EVER ask for Zero's address. He'll misunderstand it as a
request to write a speech.
Posted as a public service by .............................. D. Citron
"The very purpose of the First Amendment is to foreclose public
authority from assuming a guardianship of the public mind. ... In this
field every person must be his own watchman for the truth, because the
forefathers did not trust any government to separate the truth from
the false for us."
...Thomas v Collins, 323 U.S. 516 (1945)
Jenna Thomas-McKie
chris mclaughlin wrote:
> Even a banana popsicle.
> (I hate those. Though the blue ones are good.
> What flavor are blue popsicles, anyway?)
Dunno about the blue popsicles, but banana popsicles are good for upset
stomachs. Someone told my cousin about this when she was having trouble
with morning sickness, I've tried it with the flu, and hubby has tried
it with ulcer pain.
Even though I hate the taste - but it's better than Pepto Bismol (tm).
--
Jenna C. Thomas-McKie
jth...@aug.edu
Fight Spam! Join CAUCE (Coalition Against Unsolicited Commercial Email)
at http://www.cauce.org/ and help outlaw UCE spamming.
chris mclaughlin
Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul Harwood) wrote:
:My older daughter, on a dare, once picked a banana slug up and licked
:it. She was a teenager at the time.
You realize, of course, that a girl who will put a
banana slug in her mouth will put anything
there.
Even a banana popsicle.
Chris
Hound of Cullen
In article <5uparg$s...@wiscnews.wiscnet.net>, chris mclaughlin
<cmcl...@post.its.mcw.edu> wrote:
:Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul Harwood) wrote:
:
::My older daughter, on a dare, once picked a banana slug up and licked
::it. She was a teenager at the time.
:
:You realize, of course, that a girl who will put a
:banana slug in her mouth will put anything
:there.
[Hound successfully resists the urge to post what he *really wants to say
about the above statement]
:Even a banana popsicle.
Anything "banana" (other than banana bread, fresh bananas and Anna Banana)
is a vile abomination. Banana popsicles trigger my gag reflex (there's no
ipecac, quick, get a banana popsicle!).
Thankfully, I'm a grownup now, and can forego buying a box of popsicles if
it includes banana.
:Chris
:(I hate those. Though the blue ones are good.
:What flavor are blue popsicles, anyway?)
They're blue-flavored, naturally. Any finer distinction is beyond my rather
uncultivated popsicle-pallatte.
Hound
--
Wotthehell, wotthehell...
--Mehitabel
Support the Jayne Hitchcock HELP Fund:
The Last Real Marlboro Man
On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 13:07:32 -0400, zi...@aol.com (Hound of Cullen)
wrote:
>Thankfully, I'm a grownup now, and can forego buying a box of popsicles if
>it includes banana.
When I was a kid, I remember banana flavored bubble gum shaped like
cigars.
And I remember drinking cherry coke at the soda fountain in the drug
store when it was *real* cherry coke. But my favorite was vanilla.
Vanilla Cokes.
- Wayne
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"And as for my years of state-funded loafing in higher education, please allow me to thank you all." Gilly comes clean in misc.writing.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hound of Cullen
In article
<3E253DA47887E3EE.F3B47659...@library-proxy.airnews.ne
t>, lu...@bellatlantic.net (The Last Real Marlboro Man) wrote:
:On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 13:07:32 -0400, zi...@aol.com (Hound of Cullen)
:wrote:
:
:>Thankfully, I'm a grownup now, and can forego buying a box of popsicles if
:>it includes banana.
:
:When I was a kid, I remember banana flavored bubble gum shaped like
:cigars.
:
:And I remember drinking cherry coke at the soda fountain in the drug
:store when it was *real* cherry coke. But my favorite was vanilla.
:Vanilla Cokes.
:
:- Wayne
:
Wayne old son, if you're ever up in Olde New Englande, I can take you to
"Billings & Stover." They're a little drug store in Harvard Square. About a
year ago, they were struggling because everyone was going to the generic
"Brook's Pharmacy" just around the block. So the owners (clever folks) put
in a genuine, old-fasioned soda fountain, complete with marble top and
sassy teenagers behind the counter.
You can go there and get a genuine vanilla coke, or cherry coke (where they
put the syrup in the glass, and they aren't using some vile pre-mix). They
also make wicked frappes (for non-Bostonians, that translates to: really
good milkshakes), malteds, and egg creams.
I'll take you there, we'll get our drink of choice, then we'll wander out
and cat-call the lousy street-singer who is permanently affixed about six
doors down. It'll be fun.
chris mclaughlin
lu...@bellatlantic.net (The Last Real Marlboro Man) wrote:
>Vanilla Cokes.
Lemon. You haven't lived until you've had lemon cokes.
With french-fries.
Chris
Wendamatica
> (someday, you and I'll be the ones handing
> off the $500. . .) - Chris, to Wayne
If all we can afford is a five they too can make someone else feel
blessed, or cared for, too.
(I feel the incredible urge to stand on the table and beamingly shout
"God bless everybody!")
Wendy, Wendamatica XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX wfr...@rgi.com
Ruler of the Jellybean (Except the black. They taste like bug blood.)
Hound of Cullen
In article <34156dd5...@news.cris.com>, wcg...@cris.com wrote:
:For some inexplicable reason, zi...@aol.com (Hound of Cullen) wrote:
::
[snip my chatter about Billings & Stover Apothecary & Soda Fountain]
:
:
: Could I get a chocolate Phosphate there?
:
:-
:Wendy Chatley Green -- wcg...@cris.com
I have no idea, but I'll look into it. (perhaps, if I make Billings &
Stover sound tempting enough, there will be a Boston Wrevel).
Hound of Cullen
In article <34166e47...@news.cris.com>, wcg...@cris.com wrote:
:For some inexplicable reason, Wendamatica <wfr...@rgi.com> wrote:
::> (someday, you and I'll be the ones handing
::> off the $500. . .) - Chris, to Wayne
::
::If all we can afford is a five they too can make someone else feel
::blessed, or cared for, too.
::
::(I feel the incredible urge to stand on the table and beamingly shout
::"God bless everybody!")
:
: Matrimony does that to people.
Really? I thought it made them fall asleep on the couch in front of the
television.
Hound (that's what it did to my dad) of Cullen
Paul Harwood
On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 21:01:42 GMT, Paul Harwood said in misc.writing:
>On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 20:26:04 GMT, Larry Martines said in misc.writing:
>
>>After all, Paul, me boy, a slug is just a slug, but a cigar is a good
>>smoke.
>>
>>Larry (to paraphrase the immortal one, Fields, WC)
>
>Right idea, slightly wrong attribution. See sig.
Okay. A friend has suggested the following. I post it here in the
interests of fairness and equal time and not wanting to have my head
bashed in by cudgel-wielding Viragos:
"A see-gar is only a see-gar, but a really good woman *smokes*"
The friend goes on to note that no tobacco products are implied.
I say: If it fits, let it smoke.
Thank you for your attention.
Wendy Chatley Green
For some inexplicable reason, zi...@aol.com (Hound of Cullen) wrote:
:
:
:Wayne old son, if you're ever up in Olde New Englande, I can take you to
:"Billings & Stover." They're a little drug store in Harvard Square. About a
:year ago, they were struggling because everyone was going to the generic
:"Brook's Pharmacy" just around the block. So the owners (clever folks) put
:in a genuine, old-fasioned soda fountain, complete with marble top and
:sassy teenagers behind the counter.
:
:You can go there and get a genuine vanilla coke, or cherry coke (where they
:put the syrup in the glass, and they aren't using some vile pre-mix). They
:also make wicked frappes (for non-Bostonians, that translates to: really
:good milkshakes), malteds, and egg creams.
:
Wendy Chatley Green
For some inexplicable reason, Wendamatica <wfr...@rgi.com> wrote:
:> (someday, you and I'll be the ones handing
:> off the $500. . .) - Chris, to Wayne
:
:If all we can afford is a five they too can make someone else feel
:blessed, or cared for, too.
:
:(I feel the incredible urge to stand on the table and beamingly shout
:"God bless everybody!")
Matrimony does that to people.
-
Paul Harwood
On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 20:26:04 GMT, Larry Martines said in misc.writing:
>After all, Paul, me boy, a slug is just a slug, but a cigar is a good
>smoke.
>
>Larry (to paraphrase the immortal one, Fields, WC)
Right idea, slightly wrong attribution. See sig.
--
Paul Harwood
A woman is only a woman / But a good cigar is a smoke
-Rudyard Kipling
Glynne G. Barbier
The Last Real Marlboro Man wrote:
> And I remember drinking cherry coke at the soda fountain in the drug
> store when it was *real* cherry coke. But my favorite was vanilla.
> Vanilla Cokes.
Chocolate cherry cokes were mine. I know that sounds gross, but they
were good because *real* syrups were used. Coke-on-tap. Nothing like it.
Glynne (I even have the 5-cent Coke soda fountain glass to remind me of
those happy times at the drug store.)
Larry Martines
On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 05:00:49 GMT, Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul
Harwood) wrote:
>. A good cigar can make you look a
>little more sober than you actually are.
After all, Paul, me boy, a slug is just a slug, but a cigar is a good
The Last Real Marlboro Man
On 5 Sep 1997 18:14:15 GMT, chris mclaughlin
<cmcl...@post.its.mcw.edu> wrote:
>Lemon. You haven't lived until you've had lemon cokes.
>
>With french-fries.
When you get french fries in Germany at the kiosk, they serve them in
a paper cone, with your choice of either mayonnaise or a sweet
ketchup.
Larry Martines
On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 21:01:42 GMT, Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul
Harwood) wrote:
>
>
>Right idea, slightly wrong attribution. See sig.
Sorry, old Rudyard must have done some screenwriting for WC, and
anyway it really sounds like something WC would have said on his own.
Larry (I sure wish I said that)
Wendamatica
> :(I feel the incredible urge to stand on the table and beamingly shout
> Matrimony does that to people.-Wendy
Oh. I thought it was the lunch-time nachos.
The Last Real Marlboro Man
On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 14:03:27 -0400, zi...@aol.com (Hound of Cullen)
wrote:
>Wayne old son, if you're ever up in Olde New Englande, I can take you to
>"Billings & Stover."
Funny you should mention that, old dog. For years I have dreamt of
moving to New England. Now, when my wife and I talk about this, our
conversations are turning less fanciful and more serious.
- Wayne (Any Suggestions? Maine? New Hampshire? Has to be within
reasonable driving distance of the sea.)
Paul Harwood
On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 23:02:43 GMT, Jensen said in misc.writing:
>I was just going to talk about banana slugs.
>
>We have them up here too -- except I've seen them up to 12 inches long
>(on the side of my house no less).
You know, I was going to write something along those lines, but I
figured that no-one would believe me. I decided to stick with a number
that wouldn't draw fire, so I said "four inches".
There you have it, folks. Now you know why they're called "banana"
slugs.
Paul
Present Annas excepted, of course.
Towse
> Our banana slugs seem to average six inches and get to about ten. I
> could look it up, but I won't. They don't live in town, much, just in
> the redwood forest. Which is close, but not in, town. But you get
> these decorative redwood trees planted in town? then you get a banana
> slug.
Our pal LucKy, so un-conceited and so reserved, fails to mention the
university in her hometown (University of California, Santa Cruz) has as
its mascot...
the banana slug
and (in fact) if you check out web pages for this branch of the UC
system
[e.g.]
you will see an adorable slug.
And trust me... in those redwood groves there *are* banana slugs.
Go slugs!
Sal
Textor
gekko wrote:
Neat childhood reminiscence about first slug encounter snipped..
> Later, I chanced upon a few more slugs -- ones that were unmolested
> and living as slugs were meant to live.
You visited my garden?
Surrounded by forest as we are, our yard is a slug/snail thoroughfare.
Slugs and snails and kittycat tails. The kitties attached to the
tails have begun bringing us 'presents' as all good kitties
eventually do. Unlike most good kitties, ours do not present us with
birds or rodents dead or alive. Nope. They bring us slugs and snails.
Funny you say? Obviously you've never tried to remove slug slime from
a piece of clothing or footwear in the path of one of those critters.
Use your imagination <g>.
Cheers, LG
Towse
Jensen wrote:
[ oh snippy-doodles... check the post one back if you care...]
> As Canadian as a two dollar bill, eh?
>
> (Note: the above example is somewhat outdated as the toonie has
> replaced the two dollar bill.)
So our Jen, has coined the phrase...
in lieu of "As American as apple pie" "As Canadian as a toonie, eh?"
Whaddya think, guys?
Sal
MK64
>Naked Before You I Stand (And Other Fasion Tips)
lu...@bellatlantic.net (The Last Real Marlboro Man)
<snip wayne's tale up until the accident that almost took his
wife >
>To cut to the chase, she was not dead, of course, but she was very badly
injured. She has suffered tremendously for more than a year>now, gets
around slowly on crutches, and will be at least partially>crippled for the
rest of her life (she is 38 now, and beautiful).
* and give annette our continued love and best wishes.
>
> My wife is alive and we are living as happily as ever, just a little
differently, is all.
* for which we are ALL grateful.
>This outpouring of love in itself would have been far more than anyone
could reasonably expect. Where in real life can we find this much support
and loyalty?
>
<snip other cool stuff>
>I have spoken before, recently, of how much that trip meant to me. I
might not have believed that it could be possible to solidify even further
the bonds that I have with you. But the Wrevel did just that. The people
who were there, Paul, Wendy, Rick, Gene, Nancy, Chris, >Carol, Barbara,
Glynne, Lars, Sal, Anna, were somehow, in a very real sense, representative
of *all* of you.
* ah, wayne, you're making me sad i missed the wrevel again.
maybe next year....
>If I were to hit the lottery for 40 million, and divide the money
>equally among all of you, it would not begin to repay the debt that I
owe, because that would be too easy.
>
>I owe you. All of you. I owe you in ways that I will never really be
able to repay. But I am deeply, profoundly, and forever grateful, and>I
will continue to try to give back.
>- Wayne
* well, wayne, you went and did it again, proving that you are a man of
deep conviction, compassion and love. throw in some nerve, bravado and
speedos. mix well for an unique, but lovely combination.
we love you too.
you know i don't do the karma thing, but i do believe in the
desirability and necessity of people to bless one another.
all the flowers, in all of England, 100,000's of them, don't reach diana
now. not to dismiss people's honest ,heartfelt displays, but she can not
touch them, smell them or enjoy them in a worldly sense at all.
glad to know you too, wayne!
mk
* so when are us NEasterns going to get together and at least have dinner
or drinks or something???
******
"Fate chooses our relatives, we choose our friends." Jacques Delille
Help support Jayne Hitchcock in the battle against cyberstalking.
for more information refer to-
http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/6172/helpjane.htm
******
rit...@bbs.cruzio.com
In article <5uq3fs$68...@web.wesley.com.au>, a...@peavine.com (Jensen) writes:
> In article <5up8c7$s...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>,
> Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul Harwood) wrote:
>
> >Here in Orygun, the Land Without Sun, we have what might be described
> >as a surfeit of slimy critters. Of particular note are the "banana
> >slugs", four-inch-long tubes of barely congealed snot that ooze
> >through your garden and lay waste to anything green.
> >
>
> I was just going to talk about banana slugs.
>
> We have them up here too -- except I've seen them up to 12 inches long
> (on the side of my house no less).
>
> Yuck.
>
> cheers,
>
> jen
Our banana slugs seem to average six inches and get to about ten. I could look
it up, but I won't. They don't live in town, much, just in the redwood
forest. Which is close, but not in, town. But you get these decorative
redwood trees planted in town? then you get a banana slug.
Now, the postcards and whatnot I see from Oregon feature brownish speckled
banana slugs. Ours are pure sulphur yellow. What are yours like, Jen?
Lucy
Alma Hromic
On Sat, 06 Sep 1997 01:36:31 GMT, a...@peavine.com (Jensen) wrote:
>Somebody in Canada started a contest to come up with a saying
>analogous to "As American as apple pie." The idea was to finish
>this sentence: "As Canadian as..."
how about "As Canadian as...eh?"
*****************************************************************************
If life had a second edition, how I would correct the proofs!
(John Clare)
*****************************************************************************
Paul Harwood
On Sat, 06 Sep 1997 01:44:45 GMT, Alma Hromic said in misc.writing:
>any time, sunshine. welcome back. i missed you.
Thanks, alma. You have no idea how much I missed this place.
>now can you help us sort ourselves out with that dulcet voice of
>reason of yours?
Sure! Glad to help out!
Okay, everybody. Gather in a circle. Heads down. Close your eyes. Deep
breath. Let it out. Take your left hand. Slip it into the right pocket
of the person standing to your left. Toss anything you might find
there to the center of the circle. Good. Now do the same with your
right hand and the left pocket of the person standing to your right.
Remember to toss anything you might find to the center of the circle.
Good! We are all now cleansed of the ugliness of the material world.
Take another deep breath and begin humming softly. Sway gently back
and forth. Feel free to sing if the spirit should so move.
Continue this for fifteen minutes. Remember: Do *not* open your eyes!
My voice will fade out. now. Keep humming. Keep swaying. Keep your
eyes closed. Feel the peace? The gentle warmth of togetherness? Ahhh.
Think to yourself "This is where I belong. I am happy here. I have no
need of my wallet. Harwood deserves my wallet."
When you awaken, you will discover that the contents of your wallets
have been magically transformed.
Paul "Glad to help" Harwood
Paul Harwood
On 5 Sep 1997 16:09:20 GMT, chris mclaughlin said in misc.writing:
>You realize, of course, that a girl who will put a
>banana slug in her mouth will put anything
>there.
Chris, this is my daughter we're talking about. The fussy one. The one
with fashion sense. The one who wrote the book on good-hair days.
You know: The one who licks banana slugs.
You don't really think she would've put the sucker in her *mouth* do
you? That would've been *gross*. Nope. She just stuck out her tongue
and licked it.
At least, that's the story she tells.
>What flavor are blue popsicles, anyway?
Bubblegum, of course. Anything blue is bubblegum flavor.
Alma Hromic
On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 21:38:49 GMT, Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul
Harwood) wrote:
>Thank you for your attention.
>
any time, sunshine. welcome back. i missed you.
now can you help us sort ourselves out with that dulcet voice of
reason of yours?
Alma (listening out...)
Leon
How about "As Canadian as a three dollar bill," eh?
Jack Mingo
Leon wrote:
>
> How about "As Canadian as a three dollar bill," eh?
Or: "As Canadian as an 81-cent dollar bill"?
Jack (what is the eh!-xchange rate these days?) Mingo
Andrew Kelly
On Sat, 06 Sep 1997 05:19:19 GMT, Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul
Harwood) wrote:
>On 5 Sep 1997 16:09:20 GMT, chris mclaughlin said in misc.writing:
>
>>You realize, of course, that a girl who will put a
>>banana slug in her mouth will put anything
>>there.
>
>Chris, this is my daughter we're talking about. The fussy one. The one
>with fashion sense. The one who wrote the book on good-hair days.
>
>You know: The one who licks banana slugs.
>
>You don't really think she would've put the sucker in her *mouth* do
>you? That would've been *gross*. Nope. She just stuck out her tongue
>and licked it.
>
>At least, that's the story she tells.
Warn her, Paul. Do it quickly.
We all tell that story, and we know nobody believes us when we
tell it. I once *licked* a small frog and it nearly choked me to
death.
Grab her by the shoulders!
Shake her if you have to!
Just for the love of god, don't let her put anything cold-blooded
in her mouth!
And ( those miller moths, <shudder>..oh christ) rew
Andrea Newton
Paul Harwood wrote:
>
> On 5 Sep 1997 16:09:20 GMT, chris mclaughlin said in misc.writing:
>
>
>
> Bubblegum, of course. Anything blue is bubblegum flavor.
>
What about blueberries? Besides, I always thought _pink_ was bubblegum.
Andi
(Who could really go for a blueberry slushie)
Paul Harwood
On Sat, 06 Sep 1997 13:36:55 -0400, Andrea Newton said in
misc.writing:
>Paul Harwood wrote:
>>
>> On 5 Sep 1997 16:09:20 GMT, chris mclaughlin said in misc.writing:
>>
>> >What flavor are blue popsicles, anyway?
>>
>> Bubblegum, of course. Anything blue is bubblegum flavor.
>>
>What about blueberries? Besides, I always thought _pink_ was bubblegum.
As is well known, blueberries are nothing more than treacherous little
pills, carefully set out to snare those in search of the Exalted
Bubblegum Flavor.
Ever walked through a sheep pasture? They're littered with little
clumps of dark blueberries.
Paul Harwood
Whose wife spends the summer months eating nothing but blue
sheepberries
Andrea Newton
Okay, okay, you got me! I don't actually eat REAL blueberries (well,
expect in muffins), because, to be honest, I've always thought they
looked like little bugs. Same goes for raspberries, only they look like
clumps of bugs, or bug eggs (okay, so I have a sick imagination). But,
let's face it, blue popsicles, or slushies, or candy, or a lot of times
even ice cream, do not contain REAL blueberries. But thank God for
artificial flavorings!
But you still haven't convinced me on the blue as bubblegum, not pink,
thing. I've got a gumball machine here at my house; care to make a
little taste test?
Andi
(who has, unfortunately, been in a sheep pasture, and remind me to tell
you my sheep story sometime)
Jan S.
On Sat, 06 Sep 1997 14:43:17 -0400, Andrea Newton (An...@worldnet.att.net)
says...
>
...snip...
>
>Andi
>(who has, unfortunately, been in a sheep pasture, and remind me to tell
>you my sheep story sometime)
Yes! We have been without sheep stories here for far too long.
Why, I can remember a time in the distant past, say, 3 or 4 months ago, when
hardly a day would pass without mention of sheep.
Alas, the good ol' days are gone. Now all we have left are our nostalgia and
bits of wool sticking to all the wrong places of some of da boyz.
The Last Real Marlboro Man
On 6 Sep 97 18:13:53 GMT, gekko <ge...@aztec.asu.edu> wrote:
>Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul Harwood) writes:
>>When you awaken, you will discover that the contents of your wallets
>>have been magically transformed.
>
>Hopefully, into tissues.
Was it good for you, too?
Those holes in my pockets are there for a good reason, as you learned.
- Wayne (I ain't owned no underwear since my army days, neither.)
Eric Bycer
This *should* go to MW as well as Wayne's e-mail. My stuff added at the end.
The Last Real Marlboro Man (lu...@bellatlantic.net) wrote:
: Well. After almost a year, one twenty four hour period has seen for
: the first time the open discussion of the "Wayne Lutz Charity" of last
: Christmas, and the "charity" Wrevel plane tickets, of which I was the
: humble recipient.
: Regardless of my feelings about this, the fact is that I am now free
: to publicly acknowledge those two gifts, and that I would be grossly
: negligent if I did not use this opportunity to do so.
: For the benefit of those of you who came later, and are wondering what
: the hell this is all about, I'll give you the short version. The rest
: of you, who have heard this story ad nauseam, feel free to skip the
: next paragraph or two.
: After four months of prolific posting to misc.writing, my posts
: stopped cold on August 13th, 1996. I had just posted a few articles
: to the newsgroup, and at around 10:30pm was watching the Republican
: National Convention on TV. My wife put our two dogs on their leashes
: and took them out for their final walk of the evening. It was my turn
: to walk them, not hers. I protested, very weakly, and she gently
: insisted that she didn't mind. She could see how wrapped up I was in
: the television and wanted to let me relax. To this day I haven't
: forgiven myself for that laziness on my part.
: Fifteen minutes later I heard the screeching of tires, a woman
: screaming, and the sickening sound that can only be made by metal and
: glass meeting flesh and bone. I knew instantly what had happened. I
: raced out of the front door and to the corner. The first thing that I
: saw was the body of my dog in the intersection. When I looked further
: down the street I saw another body; motionless, twisted, and lying in
: a pool of blood. It was my dear wife of 23 years, and she and the
: dogs had been run down by a speeding car, and I thought that she was
: dead.
: To cut to the chase, she was not dead, of course, but she was very
: badly injured. She has suffered tremendously for more than a year
: now, gets around slowly on crutches, and will be at least partially
: crippled for the rest of her life (she is 38 now, and beautiful).
: Ok, the rest of you can pick it up here. I know that I have not
: cornered the market in personal tragedy. Many have had much worse
: happen. Many are living with much worse now. My wife is alive and we
: are living as happily as ever, just a little differently, is all.
: What makes my story different is this newsgroup. After MaBear finally
: got through to me by e-mail and posted to the group what had happened,
: there was an outpouring of love and support for me and mine to rival
: the royal family, albeit on a slightly smaller scale. I was
: dumbfounded by this. I was stunned and humbled and comforted by the
: messages; real, heartfelt messages, that I received.
: This outpouring of love in itself would have been far more than anyone
: could reasonably expect. Where in real life can we find this much
: support and loyalty?
: But the kicker came two days before Christmas. The mail was
: delivered, and as I sorted through the cards and bills, I came to one
: with a return address in Texas, from one Mrs. Wendy Green. I was
: thrilled, and waved it in front of my wife like a little kid with his
: first valentine. I had never gotten a tangible through snail mail
: from a newsgroup member before.
: I opened the card, and my jaw quite literally fell open. Inside the
: card was a check. The amount of the check was Five Hundred and Fifty
: Dollars. (now reduced to $538 and change, but that's ok).
: My first words, when my mouth closed, were, "No. No no no no no."
: But then as I read Wendy's beautiful, hand-written note, it dawned on
: me how this had come to be. This money had been painstakingly
: collected from *all* of the group. For me. For my wife and me. I
: called Wendy on the phone, another first for me (she had been careless
: enough to send a check with her address and phone number printed on
: it) and if I remember correctly, I stammered a lot, and did not say
: much that was intelligible. But I was trying to express my profound
: gratitude.
: Dear God in Heaven, I love you people.
: And then, two months ago, and as if I had not been given enough, I
: received a "request" from Mr. Harwood that I consent to be the second
: "guest of honor" at the Wrevel, and that my expenses would be paid (by
: him) if I were to accept.
: I have spoken before, recently, of how much that trip meant to me. I
: might not have believed that it could be possible to solidify even
: further the bonds that I have with you. But the Wrevel did just that.
: The people who were there, Paul, Wendy, Rick, Gene, Nancy, Chris,
: Carol, Barbara, Glynne, Lars, Sal, Anna, were somehow, in a very real
: sense, representative of *all* of you.
: If I were to hit the lottery for 40 million, and divide the money
: equally among all of you, it would not begin to repay the debt that I
: owe, because that would be too easy.
: I owe you. All of you. I owe you in ways that I will never really be
: able to repay. But I am deeply, profoundly, and forever grateful, and
: I will continue to try to give back.
: - Wayne
Fortunately, I do not have a problem with quoting more matierial than I
have written, becuase I do not want to cut any of what Wayne has written
here.
My first comment: Wayne left here before I got here, so I had no clue as
to what happened to him until, I dunno, October or November, if that
early. Don't even remember the Wayne Lutz Charity. Would have donated
if I could (though it wouldn't have been much).
My second comment: My timing sucks. I had to read this while in the
computer lab, with about 15 people around me not understanding why I'm
trying to hold back the tears. Damn you, Wayne. You certainly have a
way with words.
The only thing I can think of to say is a quote from the musical _Les
Miz_, though it is certain appropriate:
Take my hand, and lead me to salvation.
Take my love, for love is everlasting.
And remember, the truth that once was spoken:
"To love another person is to see the face of God."
This fits between you, your wife and your son. And it also fits between
all of us here at MW and your family.
Good luck.
Eric Bycer, Jedi Knight
I can't even think of a ptihy statement to put here.
rit...@bbs.cruzio.com
problem is, around here, a "toonie" is someone who is "toons" which is short
for "loony toons" which means kind of like a March Hare . . .
Lucy Kemnitzer
Pat Marcello
> >> On 5 Sep 1997 16:09:20 GMT, chris mclaughlin said in misc.writing:
> >>
> >> >What flavor are blue popsicles, anyway?
I just had to sneak in here under Paul's message to answer this most
pressing question. Time is of the essence.
Raspberry. Yes, it's true. The blue popsicles are raspberry flavored,
although that never made any sense to moi. Raspberries are red, non?
--
Pat M. Who makes up these things, anyway?
Support the Jayne Hitchcock HELP Fund:
http://www.geocities.com/~hitchcockc/story.html#fund
rit...@bbs.cruzio.com
In article <5uqcg6$68...@web.wesley.com.au>, a...@peavine.com (Jensen) writes:
>
> And all this from banana slugs.
>
We have a darn good local children's music group called the Banana Slug String
Band. Their music is environmentally oriented -- an album called "Adventures
on the Air Cycle," songs like "I'm a Tree," "Head, Thorax, Abdomen,"
"Decomposition Rag," and so on. A rap bit on how wonderful amphibians are, and
an ode to whitewater, an elegy on the noises quails make.
Another local children's song writer, who specialized in music for two year
olds and whose piece on the 1982 flood ("it rained and it rained and it rained
and it rained") was very cool, wrote a banana slug song, which unfortunately
has the repeating line "are you an animal or are you a bug?" which is probably
a quote from one of her constituents. But it also includes the very relevant
question "where do you get that slime?"
And as Sal says, the UCSC mascot is indeed a cartoon banana slug. When that
nice fellow was a student there he and my best friend from high school and a
few other oddballs put out a few issues of a comic book called "Tales of the
Golden Slug" which I now understand have become collectors' items in the world
of (relatively) legitimate comics collectors. The official mascot slug is not
to my taste -- it is too anthropomorphic. But I have a slug t-shirt anyway.
Lucy Kemnitzer
The B.S.S.B. banana slug song is also a rap piece, in which a heavily accented
Dr. something or other exclaims "Banana slugs! Banana slugs! I like them!
They're beautiful!"
They are, when they're not on your shoes.
They also eat those red-capped amanita mushrooms that are so pretty and yet so
poisonous to people . . . I've seen 'em do it without harm.
Andrea Newton
Jan S. wrote:
>
> On Sat, 06 Sep 1997 14:43:17 -0400, Andrea Newton (An...@worldnet.att.net)
> says...
> >
> ...snip...
> >
> >Andi
> >(who has, unfortunately, been in a sheep pasture, and remind me to tell
> >you my sheep story sometime)
>
> Yes! We have been without sheep stories here for far too long.
>
Okay, you asked for it. You all saw it! She asked for it! Anyway...
My dad rents an apartment on a farm in NJ, and when I was in college I
used to spend the summer there on occasion. One day, Mrs. Phillips, my
dad's landlord, came to the apartment and asked if we could help them
round up a sheep that had slipped through a hole in the fence and was
currently wandering around the highway that ran next to the farm.
Uninitiated in the ways of sheep at the time, we said sure! God, we
were such fools.
Mrs. Phillips, Dad, Fritz, and I headed out to the highway to round up
the sheep. On the way, Fritz told us that the sheep hadn't escaped by
any clever sheep plan; it had been contentedly grazing and wandered, all
unawares, through a hole in the fence. Go figure.
We all thought this would be a simple matter of leading the sheep back
through the hole. We'd dealt with cows before on many occasions, and
sheep are smaller, right? Should be easier to push around, right?
Ah, what naive fools we were.
We fought and pushed and pulled and finally bullied the sheep up to the
fence, and Fritz held clover out to coax it back through the hole.
Nothing doing. Not that it didn't want to go; it really wanted that
bunch of clover, but it kept trying to go _through_ the fence to get
it. See, sheep are really dense, and, since its head was one inch to
the left of the hole, it didn't even realize the hole was there. So, we
pushed and pulled and bullied the sheep some more and finally ended up
with it more to the right; too much to the right, by maybe another inch
or so, and yet again that silly sheep was convinced there was no hole in
the fence, and couldn't we see that? By this time, we were sweaty and
grouchy and wanted to go back to air conditioning, but the Phillips had
just bought the sheep, so we gave it another shot. And, after a
frustrating few minutes work, we got that sheep perfectly lined up with
the hole in the fence, and said the hell with it.
The sheep was an inch too tall.
True story, I swear! And to allay the fears of all those "boys out
there with bits of wool sticking to all the wrong places" (or something
like that), we picked the sheep up and handed it over the fence.
Andi
Glynne G. Barbier
The Last Real Marlboro Man wrote:
>
> On 6 Sep 1997 23:40:18 GMT, "Pat Marcello" <pa...@sgi.net> wrote:
>
> >Pat M. Who makes up these things, anyway?
>
People make Apple-Who?
Paul Harwood
On 6 Sep 1997 23:54:18 GMT, rit...@bbs.cruzio.com said in
misc.writing:
<banana slugs are beautiful>
>They are, when they're not on your shoes.
Heh.
Ever pop the lid off your drinking-water well and been greeted by lots
of slimy little horned heads looking up at you? You want to pluck 'em
off the sidewall and get rid of 'em, but most of 'em are out of reach,
and one wrong scrape sends a couple plopping down into your drinking
water.
City water is good for some things.
The Last Real Marlboro Man
On 6 Sep 1997 23:40:18 GMT, "Pat Marcello" <pa...@sgi.net> wrote:
>Pat M. Who makes up these things, anyway?
Same people who make Apple-Jacks?
- Wayne
Alma Hromic
>
>Ever pop the lid off your drinking-water well and been greeted by lots
>of slimy little horned heads looking up at you? You want to pluck 'em
>off the sidewall and get rid of 'em, but most of 'em are out of reach,
>and one wrong scrape sends a couple plopping down into your drinking
>water.
EEEUW!!!
are you saying you have one of them drinking wells at your place?
complete with slugs?
Alma (i think he's just trying to put us off having the next wrevel at
his place... personally, i think we should just slug him....)
Engkent
In article <3410DFA5...@null.net>, Towse <to...@null.net> writes:
> Jensen wrote:
>
> [ oh snippy-doodles... check the post one back if you care...]
>
> > As Canadian as a two dollar bill, eh?
> >
> > (Note: the above example is somewhat outdated as the toonie has
> > replaced the two dollar bill.)
>
>
> So our Jen, has coined the phrase...
>
> in lieu of "As American as apple pie" "As Canadian as a toonie, eh?"
>
> Whaddya think, guys?
> Sal
This phrase was completed in a contest a few years back, and the winning
entry was "as Canadian as possible under the circumstances."
Lucia
Neyir Cenk Gokce
On Sat, 06 Sep 1997 08:37:17 -0700, Jack Mingo <mi...@pacbell.net>
wrote:
Prolly "As Canadian as a 73-cent dollar bill", eh?
--Cenk
Jacques E. Bouchard
Towse wrote:
> Jensen wrote:
>
> [ oh snippy-doodles... check the post one back if you care...]
>
> > As Canadian as a two dollar bill, eh?
> >
> > (Note: the above example is somewhat outdated as the toonie has
> > replaced the two dollar bill.)
>
> So our Jen, has coined the phrase...
>
> in lieu of "As American as apple pie" "As Canadian as a toonie, eh?"
>
> Whaddya think, guys?
> Sal
There was a "As Canadian as..." contest organized by a Canadian
magazine or newspaper (the GLobe and Mail, perhaps?) a few years ago,
and the winner was: "As Canadian as possible under the circumstances".
jaybee
Jan S.
On Sun, 07 Sep 1997 15:36:49 GMT, Paul Harwood (Pa...@computerbits.com)
says...
>
>... my grandmother's sheep ranch.
Your grandmother's sheep ranch?
Your grandmother's *sheep* ranch!?
<snort>
Your GRANDmother's SHEEP RANCH!!!!!!!!
<stifle>
Your grandmother had <splutter> a <snort> SHEEP RANCH!!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (no I didn't count
'em I'm laughing too hard everybody clear a path to the potty)
Your grandmother had a sheep ranch? No shit?
--jan <wiping tears from eyes> <sniff>
Paul Harwood
On Sun, 07 Sep 1997 03:24:01 GMT, Alma Hromic said in misc.writing:
<banana slugs in your well>
>are you saying you have one of them drinking wells at your place?
>complete with slugs?
>
>Alma (i think he's just trying to put us off having the next wrevel at
>his place... personally, i think we should just slug him....)
<lengthy pause while I consider the options here>
You mean ... if I start describing the well, the outhouse, the long
gravel road, and the coyotes here, then I may not be tapped to host a
wrevel?
Hmmm ...
It's tempting, but no: The well I was describing was on my
grandmother's sheep ranch. And it was definite Eeeeeeuw!
Paul Harwood
On 7 Sep 1997 16:00:12 GMT, Jan S. said in misc.writing:
>Your grandmother had a sheep ranch? No shit?
Well ... lotsa sheepberries, but otherwise: No shit. She sold a large
ranch in Sonoma County to the Gallo brothers for use as vineyards and
retired to a very small <~100 acre> ranch in northern Cal. They ran
maybe a couple of dozen sheep on the retirement ranch. Nothing much;
just enough to make her & her rancher hubby feel like they were still
alive. When he passed away, she got rid of all the sheep and the
geese. She passed away late last year, and I have no idea why I'm
rambling on like this. Bring me an editor -- quick!
Anyway. As to your question: 'Tis true. I'm probably one of the few
people in this ng who has real-life experience with sheep. The reality
is nowhere near as much fun as Bill Price's fantasies.
Want to know what sheep are really good for?
Roasts with a dab of mint jelly <If you've never tasted *fresh* lamb,
properly prepared, then you are really missing something>
And wool.
Otherwise, they're amazingly stupid.
>--jan <wiping tears from eyes> <sniff>
Yeah, yeah. Yo mama. All that stuff. Now: Mind if I bum a cigar?
Wendy Chatley Green
For some inexplicable reason, j...@who.net (Jan S.) wrote:
:On Sun, 07 Sep 1997 15:36:49 GMT, Paul Harwood (Pa...@computerbits.com)
:says...
:>
:>... my grandmother's sheep ranch.
:
:Your grandmother's sheep ranch?
:
:Your grandmother's *sheep* ranch!?
:
:<snort>
:
:Your GRANDmother's SHEEP RANCH!!!!!!!!
:
:<stifle>
:
:Your grandmother had <splutter> a <snort> SHEEP RANCH!!!!!
:
:BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (no I didn't count
:'em I'm laughing too hard everybody clear a path to the potty)
:Your grandmother had a sheep ranch? No shit?
:
:--jan <wiping tears from eyes> <sniff>
<*chortle*> Me too, Jan. This explains a lot <*snerk*>
--
Wendy (BTW--I counted 34 but I was giggling rather hard and)
Chatley (I may have missed one)
Green -- wcg...@cris.com
Glynne G. Barbier
MK64 wrote:
>
> >From: "Glynne G. Barbier" <gg...@ix.netcom.com> said,
>
> >The Last Real Marlboro Man wrote:
> >>
> >People make Apple-Who?
>
> * apple jacks.
> sugared cereal bombs guaranteed to have the kids bouncing
> around the classroom for the first hour of school and sluggish until
> lunch... unless there are fruit roll-up or poptarts for snacktime.
With all due respect to you, mk, *and* Jack, I fear my attempt at a play
on words apparently has bombed. Ah, well. Whoever said this misc.writing
course 101 would be easy?
Glynne
Jan S.
On Sun, 07 Sep 1997 16:43:11 GMT, Paul Harwood (Pa...@computerbits.com)
says...
>
>On 7 Sep 1997 16:00:12 GMT, Jan S. said in misc.writing:
>
>
>ranch in Sonoma County to the Gallo brothers for use as vineyards and
>retired to a very small <~100 acre> ranch in northern Cal. They ran
>maybe a couple of dozen sheep on the retirement ranch. Nothing much;
>just enough to make her & her rancher hubby feel like they were still
>alive. When he passed away, she got rid of all the sheep and the
>geese. She passed away late last year, and I have no idea why I'm
>rambling on like this. Bring me an editor -- quick!
Well, I could serve as editor, but I like the occasional ramble. Guess I
wouldn't be any damn good as an editor.
The reason you're rambling on? Nostalgia, I think. It's a good thing.
>
>Anyway. As to your question: 'Tis true. I'm probably one of the few
>people in this ng who has real-life experience with sheep. The reality
>is nowhere near as much fun as Bill Price's fantasies.
Poor Bill Price.
>
>Want to know what sheep are really good for?
>
>Roasts with a dab of mint jelly <If you've never tasted *fresh* lamb,
>properly prepared, then you are really missing something>
I'd never tasted lamb at all until I went on a business trip to Detroit
several years ago (lamb is not a staple on Southern tables). Went to an
international festival near the Ren Center (it was... I forget... something
Eastern European) and they had shish-kebob (which they called something else)
cooked while you waited and served on a fresh baked bun. Absolutely
wonderful. Funny, but I didn't even think about how cute lambs are while I
ate it.
See, I can ramble too. (What? You say you knew that already? Hmmph.)
>
>And wool.
>
>Otherwise, they're amazingly stupid.
And smelly. Pee-ewwww.
>
>>--jan <wiping tears from eyes> <sniff>
>
>Yeah, yeah. Yo mama. All that stuff. Now: Mind if I bum a cigar?
Sure. Have one of these Bauzas. A truly decent smoke, not resembling a dog
turd in the least.
--jan
The Last Real Marlboro Man
On 8 Sep 1997 00:43:46 GMT, mk...@aol.com (MK64) wrote:
>ps- who's kids eat life, and snack on pretzels.
Now *there's* a philosophical statement, if I've ever heard one.
- Wayne (Is that anything like sin-eaters?)
Alma Hromic
On 7 Sep 1997 16:00:12 GMT, j...@who.net (Jan S.) wrote:
i know i shouldn't do this but (a) i am not going to snip a word of
this post here below and (b) i just want to say that i haven't laughed
this much for months.
thanks, jan! <giggle> i'm going to be waking up at three in the
morning and having hysterics at what i imagine the expression on your
face must have been like....
>On Sun, 07 Sep 1997 15:36:49 GMT, Paul Harwood (Pa...@computerbits.com)
>says...
>>
>>... my grandmother's sheep ranch.
>
>Your grandmother's sheep ranch?
>
>Your grandmother's *sheep* ranch!?
>
><snort>
>
>Your GRANDmother's SHEEP RANCH!!!!!!!!
>
><stifle>
>
>Your grandmother had <splutter> a <snort> SHEEP RANCH!!!!!
>
>BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (no I didn't count
>'em I'm laughing too hard everybody clear a path to the potty)
>
>Your grandmother had a sheep ranch? No shit?
>
>--jan <wiping tears from eyes> <sniff>
>
*****************************************************************************
MK64
>From: "Glynne G. Barbier" <gg...@ix.netcom.com> said,
>The Last Real Marlboro Man wrote:
>>
>> On 6 Sep 1997 23:40:18 GMT, "Pat Marcello" <pa...@sgi.net> wrote:
>>
>> >Pat M. Who makes up these things, anyway?
>>
>> Same people who make Apple-Jacks?
>
>People make Apple-Who?
* apple jacks.
sugared cereal bombs guaranteed to have the kids bouncing
around the classroom for the first hour of school and sluggish until
lunch... unless there are fruit roll-up or poptarts for snacktime.
boy and i glad it's back in session!!!!
:)
mk
ps- who's kids eat life, and snack on pretzels.
******
"Fate chooses our relatives, we choose our friends." Jacques Delille
Help support Jayne Hitchcock in the battle against cyberstalking.
for more information refer to-
http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/6172/helpjane.htm
******
G.L. Morrison
> After all, Paul, me boy, a slug is just a slug, but a cigar is a good
> smoke.
>
> Larry (to paraphrase the immortal one, Fields, WC)
Yer kiddin' right? You know this is paraspoofing Kipling not WC -yer
botherin' me kid- Fields? Further more, a woman is not a slug. And smoking
either is illegal.
G.L.
chris mclaughlin
Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul Harwood) wrote:
>Anyway. As to your question: 'Tis true. I'm probably one of the few
>people in this ng who has real-life experience with sheep.
Palm Tree,
I have actually flown to New Hampshire to spend a
week worming sheep.
And cleaning up their carcasses after a wild
dog feast.
And you are right. They are as stupid as. . .
slugs. Only much nicer to lick.
(We won't talk about lanolin right now. . .)
GS
MK64
"Glynne G. Barbier" <gg...@ix.netcom.com> said,
>>
>> >The Last Real Marlboro Man wrote:
>> >>
>> >> On 6 Sep 1997 23:40:18 GMT, "Pat Marcello" <pa...@sgi.net> wrote:
>> >>
>> >> >Pat M. Who makes up these things, anyway?
>> >>
>> >> Same people who make Apple-Jacks?
>> >
>> >People make Apple-Who?
>>
>> * apple jacks.
>> sugared cereal bombs guaranteed to have the kids bouncing
>> around the classroom for the first hour of school and sluggish until
lunch... unless there are fruit roll-up or poptarts for snacktime.
>With all due respect to you, mk, *and* Jack, I fear my attempt at a play
on words apparently has bombed. Ah, well. Whoever said this misc.writing
course 101 would be easy?
>
* no, Glynne,
it's probably me. i just shouldn't post when medicated. my logic and
sense of humor, which are already impaired, suffer.
(that and i don't read all of every thread - gasp! )
there you have it.
so, fear not. pun on, glynne. i'll try to keep up.
mk
Paul Harwood
On 8 Sep 1997 13:11:20 GMT, chris mclaughlin said in misc.writing:
>I have actually flown to New Hampshire to spend a
>week worming sheep.
Sort of an ovine-emergency hotshot? Why do I have a mental picture of
you parachuting in, your worming medicine bandoliered across your
chest?
Commando Chris, to the rescue.
It's kinda cute, GS.
G.L. Morrison
> Our pal LucKy, so un-conceited and so reserved, fails to mention the
> university in her hometown (University of California, Santa Cruz) has as
> its mascot...
>
> the banana slug
>
This is nothing. Here in Eugene, Oregon we have a city celebration (this
weekend in fact) in which we select a slug queen. The slug is the city
mascot!
G.L.
Carol Thomas
Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul Harwood) wrote:
>You mean ... if I start describing the well, the outhouse, the long
>gravel road, and the coyotes here, then I may not be tapped to host a
>wrevel?
You have coyotes? Really? And a gravel road? Real gravel?
Oooooooooh.
Too cool. I wanna see 'em.
Carol
(when did you say you were holding this wrevel?)
Neil Blenkiron
In article <5v0tho$i...@wiscnews.wiscnet.net> of group misc.writing,
chris mclaughlin writes:
>Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul Harwood) wrote:
>
>>Anyway. As to your question: 'Tis true. I'm probably one of the few
>>people in this ng who has real-life experience with sheep.
>
>Palm Tree,
>
>I have actually flown to New Hampshire to spend a
>week worming sheep.
>
>And cleaning up their carcasses after a wild
>dog feast.
>
>And you are right. They are as stupid as. . .
>slugs. Only much nicer to lick.
>
>(We won't talk about lanolin right now. . .)
>
>GS
>
>
Sheep! Don't talk to me about sheep! I grew up with the dang things.
(at least they're smarter than chooks)
Neil Blenkiron - freelance writer based in Melbourne Australia
There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you.
- Zora Neale Hurston
Michael Childless
In article <3410DFA5...@null.net>, Towse <to...@null.net> wrote:
.Jensen wrote:
.
.[ oh snippy-doodles... check the post one back if you care...]
.
.> As Canadian as a two dollar bill, eh?
.>
.> (Note: the above example is somewhat outdated as the toonie has
.> replaced the two dollar bill.)
.
.
.So our Jen, has coined the phrase...
.
.in lieu of "As American as apple pie" "As Canadian as a toonie, eh?"
.
.Whaddya think, guys?
.Sal
In lieu of writing about money, which I have none of, how about:
"As Canadian as Tangle Ridge."
But in keeping with current trademark conventions, you might want to
follow that with a generic noun, as in:
"As Canadian as Tangle Ridge Canadian whiskey."
Or, if you are speaking of how un-Canadian something is, how about:
"As Canadian as Jose Cuervo."
Michael (who has never been to Canada) Childless
--
See me run naked through the Southern half of North America...
Daniel J. O'Connell
In article <3421759c...@news.snafu.de>, Andrew Kelly
<Gad...@berlin.snafu.de> writes
>On Sat, 06 Sep 1997 05:19:19 GMT, Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul
>Harwood) wrote:
>
>>On 5 Sep 1997 16:09:20 GMT, chris mclaughlin said in misc.writing:
>>
>>>You realize, of course, that a girl who will put a
>>>banana slug in her mouth will put anything
>>>there.
>>
>>Chris, this is my daughter we're talking about. The fussy one. The one
>>with fashion sense. The one who wrote the book on good-hair days.
>>
>>You know: The one who licks banana slugs.
>>
>>You don't really think she would've put the sucker in her *mouth* do
>>you? That would've been *gross*. Nope. She just stuck out her tongue
>>and licked it.
>>
>>At least, that's the story she tells.
>
>Warn her, Paul. Do it quickly.
>We all tell that story, and we know nobody believes us when we
>tell it. I once *licked* a small frog and it nearly choked me to
>death.
>Grab her by the shoulders!
>Shake her if you have to!
>
>Just for the love of god, don't let her put anything cold-blooded
>in her mouth!
>
>And ( those miller moths, <shudder>..oh christ) rew
Just make sure she doesn't go fishing.
I saw a clip once, on Beadles About ? (god, I hate that man), where a
man took his son fishing. The young boy, about five or so I think,
literally kissed the fish
and the bloody thing started to wriggle in !
Never seen a man move so fast as that boy's dad did.
And then he went and through the fish back in the river ! sigh
--
Danny :)
alias Ensign Courgette who admits to know similarity with bananas
rit...@bbs.cruzio.com
In article <gekko.873470835@valley>, gekko <ge...@aztec.asu.edu> writes:
>
>
> I confess, I picked a few up to see if I could determine if they were
> boy slugs or girl slugs.
>
> I never could figure that out. I do know that slugs are rather
> icky to the touch, but not horribly so.
>
The answer to the question "is it a boy or a girl slug?" is yes.
Lucy Kemnitzer
rit...@bbs.cruzio.com
we also have a slug festival every year, but no slug queen. There used to be a
beauty pageant here (Miss California) but after many years of raucous
counter-pageantry (including drag queens and an ex-model dressed in bologna
with a banner reading "Miss Steak"), the pageant had a fit of pique and moved
to some southern California beach city, I forget which, where they hoped the
feminists were less militant or had a less lively sense of humor. Too bad.
The counter pageant was tres cool.
Lucy Kemnitzer
If we had a slug queen here, I'm sure the thing would turn into an AIDS
fundraiser . . . it would be glorious, I'm sure.
Alma Hromic
On 12 Sep 1997 14:56:59 GMT, rit...@bbs.cruzio.com wrote:
>There used to be a beauty pageant here (Miss California) but after many years of raucous
>counter-pageantry (including drag queens and an ex-model dressed in bologna
>with a banner reading "Miss Steak")....
was she corrected? <g>
The Stewarts
Wayne, Wayne, you did it again. How am I supposed to read the rest of the
postings after I read something like that ... I mean, everything just gets
so blurry.
Jean
Fredrick Rea O'Keefe
What does this title imply (or is it merely someone's sick imputation)?
"Naked ... Fashion 'Tips'" You are all just a bunch of preverts! (Notice
that I corrected the spelling error.)
--
Fredrick Rea O'Keefe ("Rick")
*********
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*********
The Stewarts <ste...@nb.net> wrote in article
<Pine.SOL.3.94.970915223457.1267A-100000@diamond>...
Lorrill Buyens
Pa...@computerbits.com (Paul Harwood), while summoning a demon, chanted:
>On 4 Sep 1997 18:53:49 GMT, chris mclaughlin said in misc.writing:
>>I like a little heffe weissen, myself. But I
>>think the slugs might prefer lager.
>>
>>What about you?
>>
>>I mean, if you are going to drown yourself in drink?
>I find that a couple of bottles of a good cabernet or merlot will
>usually do the trick. Or a bottle of a good single malt scotch.
I prefer beer, although I'll occasionally have a couple of
margaritas or something when we go out to dinner at one
of the Valley's many good restaurants.
As for my taste in suds: Watney's Cream Stout; Double
Diamond; Bass and Samuel Smith are all good brews,
IMHO.
Lorrill ("In Heaven there is no beer, that's why we drink
it here...") Buyens
--
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Lorrill Buyens
j...@who.net (Jan S.), while summoning a demon, chanted:
>On Sun, 07 Sep 1997 16:43:11 GMT, Paul Harwood (Pa...@computerbits.com)
>says...
>>Want to know what sheep are really good for?
>>
>>Roasts with a dab of mint jelly <If you've never tasted *fresh* lamb,
>>properly prepared, then you are really missing something>
>I'd never tasted lamb at all until I went on a business trip to Detroit
>several years ago (lamb is not a staple on Southern tables). Went to an
>international festival near the Ren Center (it was... I forget... something
>Eastern European) and they had shish-kebob (which they called something else)
>cooked while you waited and served on a fresh baked bun. Absolutely
>wonderful. Funny, but I didn't even think about how cute lambs are while I
>ate it.
The first time I tasted lamb was when I had gyros at a restaurant in Sedona,
a few years after we moved here. It had a gamey taste I hadn't expected,
but was otherwise very good. Since then I've had rack of lamb (with
raspberry sauce) a couple of times at one or another of the Hungry Hunters
in our neighborhood. (The HH chain also has a sinfully delicious dessert -
Bailey's Irish Cream mousse - which is a definite second-best to the Olive
Garden's chocolate-chip chocolate cheesecake...)
Lorrill ("Little Lamb, who made thee?") Buyens
Lorrill Buyens
mus...@soarkwinesociety.com (Michael Childless), while summoning a demon,
chanted:
>--
>See me run naked through the Southern half of North America...
As long as you're going to Mexico, pick me up a sombrero, huh?
fred...@tech-center.com
Jean Stewart properly orrected me: I apologize to the group, and
particularly to Wayne, for the assinine posting I made to Jean Stewart's
posting. Having not seen the preceding posts of this thread, I picked up
on the "out of context" message and title, and responded with what I
hoped would amuse someone. And amde a fool of myself. So, again, please
forgive me.
The message I referred to is erased to protect the innocent; and me, from
further humiliation.
<SNIP>
> *********
>
> The Stewarts <ste...@nb.net> wrote in article
> <Pine.SOL.3.94.970915223457.1267A-100000@diamond>...
> >
> > Wayne, Wayne, you did it again. How am I supposed to read the rest of
> the
> > postings after I read something like that ... I mean, everything just
> gets
> > so blurry.
> >
> > Jean
> >
> >
> >
> >
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