making ketchup flow (and other things you learn in the jungle)
$Zero
when i was a teenager, i was a prep cook at a busy local restaurant.
the owner was a humorous and happy energetic sort who manned the
stoves during the frantic lunches.
i worked every afternoon alongside him, slicing tomatoes, making
salads, mixing up the house dressing, cleaning shrimp, frying
mushrooms, fetching meats, washing dishes, taking out the trash, and
just about everything else he could swindle me into doing for fricken'
minimum wage.
sometimes i'd work a double on Fridays.
working with the night crew was a bit different.
no boss around, everyone (kitchen crew, waiters, waitresses, bar
tenders, etc.) would alternately meet up in various groups in the
basement just oustside the coolers to do some doobies or bongs.
it added quite the zen-like quality to peeling onions and whatnot.
anyway, the best thing i learned there was how to make ketchup flow
from near-empty bottles.
the boss was full of neat little tricks.
you tighten the small lid and then, grabbing the bottle firmly by the
bottom, you swing it forward several times in the air with all of your
might as if you were pounding down on a drum, only harder.
then you loosen the lid and find that all of the ketchup is ready to
roll right at the top of the bottle.
the wonders of centrifugal force.
french fries get red.
yummy.
but that's just a side benefit.
the best part about it is watching people panic while you do it at the
dinner table.
or on a date.
-$Zero...
if you could change people's minds...
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/5c4c4c7eb1dcd1dc
boots
There's an easier way, $Zero. Throw the container against the closest
wall hard enough to shatter it into a zillion pieces then scoop what
you need from the floor. Tell the health department official to fuck
himself and find a real job. "Real Job" being defined as... erm...
--
just write it
Bill Penrose
> you tighten the small lid and then, grabbing the bottle firmly by the
> bottom, you swing it forward several times in the air with all of your
> might as if you were pounding down on a drum, only harder.
Ever had a lid come open while doing that?
I have.
DB
Pies de Arcilla
> you tighten the small lid and then, grabbing the bottle firmly by the
> bottom, you swing it forward several times in the air with all of your
> might as if you were pounding down on a drum, only harder.
>
> then you loosen the lid and find that all of the ketchup is ready to
> roll right at the top of the bottle.
Yes, and if you have a jar of something that's going into a sauce, you
can do the same thing, but add a little water to get every last bit of
whatever it is.
Towse
Or you could use your wildly creative mind and find a better solution:
<http://www.heinz.com/images/world_easy_squeeze_ketchup.jpg>
--
Sal
Ye olde swarm of links: thousands of links for writers, researchers and
the terminally curious <http://writers.internet-resources.com>
Bill Penrose
> Or you could use your wildly creative mind and find a better solution:
> <http://www.heinz.com/images/world_easy_squeeze_ketchup.jpg>
While at the local burger joint, I pulled by .32 out of my jockey
shorts and filled the barrel with ketchup. When fired at point-blank
range, the distribution of ketchup on the bun was pretty good.
The problem was that the distribution of the burger was not. We call
it collateral damage.
As Thomas Edison would have said, I've discovered one more thing that
doesn't work.
Dangerous Bill