one of the saddest things to witness is...
$Zero
someone with a lack of confidence in themselves.
they're usually the nicest of people, too.
and frequently, they're far more talented than they give themselves
credit for.
in many ways.
often, you think to yourself, how in the fuck did they end up that
way?
and you just want to beat the living shit out of whoever contributed
to such a condition.
hoping to God that it wasn't you in some small way.
wondering what you can do to help them overcome their absurd lack of
confidence.
realizing that there's not much you can do except write stupid poems
about brainwash and whatnot.
-$Zero...
from ignorance to knowledge
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/a4c8332b871c11ab
Echosyn
"It is always the arts that are first to go." Look ,it up in Google
Groups. Tic-Toc-Tic-Toc. Knowledge without eternal wisdom is a wisp
of flatulence.
-Echosyn
PJ
> one of the saddest things to witness is...
>
> someone with a lack of confidence in themselves.
ITA.
> they're usually the nicest of people, too.
>
> and frequently, they're far more talented than they give themselves credit for.
Yes.
> in many ways.
Yes again.
> often, you think to yourself, how in the fuck did they end up that way?
I do indeed. I tend to psychoanalyze peeps. It's a hobby of mine.
> and you just want to beat the living shit out of whoever contributed to such a condition.
It may be the person's upbringing, or a horrible relationship in which
he or she was continuously degraded. In that situation, the lack of
confidence may have been there in a small way, but grew much worse as
the treatment continued, which is why the person doesn't get *out* of
the relationship. Sad stuff.
I've also known women who have no confidence in themselves because they
are drop-dead gorgeous (seems ironic, no?) and beauty is all they have.
One woman I can think of in particular whom I knew long ago, name was
Karen. She was model-quality gorgeous -- tall, willowy, long pale blonde
hair, big blue eyes, a real heart-stopper for the guys. Except in her
mind, she wasn't beautiful *enough*. Others were far more beautiful, and
she worried herself sick over it. Her husband told me one day he went
home from work and found her crying. He asked what was wrong and she
said she'd spent the whole day looking at fashion magazines and it made
her so depressed because all the women were so PRETTY. I still shudder
whenever I think of it.
> hoping to God that it wasn't you in some small way.
>
> wondering what you can do to help them overcome their absurd lack of confidence.
Sometimes you can help just by being a friend and being encouraging. But
there's a downside; I find that people who chronically lack confidence
can be draining. My best friend from high school is a doll and I adore
her. But after an hour telephone call, in which I am spending nearly the
whole time building her up, I just feel drained, like she sucked the
energy out of me.
~ ~ ~
PJ
serenebabe
> one of the saddest things to witness is...
>
> someone with a lack of confidence in themselves.
>
> they're usually the nicest of people, too.
>
> and frequently, they're far more talented than they give themselves
> credit for.
>
> in many ways.
>
> often, you think to yourself, how in the fuck did they end up that
> way?
>
> and you just want to beat the living shit out of whoever contributed
> to such a condition.
>
> hoping to God that it wasn't you in some small way.
>
> wondering what you can do to help them overcome their absurd lack of
> confidence.
>
> realizing that there's not much you can do except write stupid poems
> about brainwash and whatnot.
I used to love to Help people who lacked confidence. I still enjoy
helping friends see the good in themselves but if the lack of
confidence is all consuming I have to let it go.
I enjoyed this post, Zero.
--
It's All About We! (the column)
http://www.serenebabe.net/ - new 1/2
serenebabe
> $Zero wrote:
>> one of the saddest things to witness is...
>>
>> someone with a lack of confidence in themselves.
<...>
>> wondering what you can do to help them overcome their absurd lack of
>> confidence.
>
> Sometimes you can help just by being a friend and being encouraging.
> But there's a downside; I find that people who chronically lack
> confidence can be draining. My best friend from high school is a doll
> and I adore her. But after an hour telephone call, in which I am
> spending nearly the whole time building her up, I just feel drained,
> like she sucked the energy out of me.
I just started to respond to Zero's post writing something similar.
It's too hard for me to not take on someone else's energy, if that
doesn't sound to la-la-loony. When someone's lack of confidence weighs
them down so much it's all they focus on, it can be exhausting to
interact with them. To get into the super-duper cheesy realm, "If you
love something let it go" applies in some of these situations.
I don't mind lack of confidence. What I just can't tolerate, though I
try to keep an open mind and accept people, is self-pity. It's such a
pointless exercise.