Office and Art Supply Junky--submissions wanted
BSBN Publishing
OFFICE AND ART SUPPLY JUNKY
BSBN Publishing is taking submissions of writing, art, poetry, questions
for the Answer Man, comic art, confessions, etc. for issues #3 & #4 of
Office and Art Supply Junky, the zine by and for office and art supply
junkies the world over.
First, you must admit that you too are an office or art supply junky. That
is the first step.
The next step is to write to us. You are not alone. There are many like
you, many worse off than you are.
You think you have it rough, having to sharpen ten pencils and buy two
boxes of paper clips before you can sit down and start writing that novel?
Are you frazzeled before you can draw that next frame in your comic unless
you go out and buy a new tech pen? Well, let me tell you about a poor soul
that has to lick 100 envelopes before he can even get himself to rise out
of bed in the morning!!! Let me tell you of the graphic artist who has to
rest her head on her ultra-sonic pen cleaner every hour for five minutes to
keep from salivating all over her drawing board.
IT'S ALL TRUE!!
Through the forum that Office and Art Supply Junky provides, we can all
help each other through the rough times.
Text submissions can be sent email (send as 'text') or by post (Discs
preferred).
Artwork for #3 should be no larger than 7 x 9.5 and must be black & white.
Submissions in foreign languages will be considered.
Copies of #1 are available for $2.00. $3.00 Canada, $4.00 world. Copies of
#2 are $4.00, $5.00 or $6.00, all in U.S. funds.
Payment is with copies if we use your submission.
Who is BSBN Publishing?
"Just what the title says, boy. The opening is laugh out loud comedy about
dealing with office supplies. Satire and more about office supplies.
There's thoughts on if supply theft is morally correct [coming] in a future
edition. A funny interview with a printer, that also touched on office
supplies for some strange reason. The way to effectively shop for bargain
office stuff and where to look. The layout of the magazine, you would
swear, is professional. Very nice and neat to read and look at. The text is
legible and I liked it."
KILLING TIMES #4
"The same people who brought us the sublime Baby Split Bowling News have
hit on something really big this time, but first you have to admit it: You
love office supplies, don't you? I mean, you really love them. But do you
love them as much as Oscar Schmirk, who confesses that his office supply
habit began when he found five stackable desk trays on top of a dumpster?
He tells the story: "I was truly hooked when I found myself climbing into
the dumpster and digging through everything. Before that I had been a
typical sucker for things like pens, paper, other cheap items, but I had
never thought about the big league." If dumpster-diving for desk organizers
doesn't seem weird to you, or even if it does, you should think about
ordering a copy of Office Supply Junky. You're not alone anymore..." Josh
Glenn.
THE UTNE READER. JANUARY/FEBRUARY 95.
Office Supply Junky has Great Potential. Office supplies have a weird
magnetic grip on the American psyche. Baby Split Bowling News, on the other
hand, is strange and warped and inexcusably sick. I'm glad it exists.
LADY KATHY, LADIES' FETISH & TABOO SOCIETY
"...impressive contents...work of much higher quality than most other
desktop publishers, and the variety of material which you release is
impressively broad."
WILLIAM BURROUGHS COMMUNICATIONS
Contact Office and Art Supply Junky at:
BSBN Publishing, P.O. Box 7205, Minneapolis, MN 55407 U.S.A.
-------
ProLine: bs...@pro-algonquin.mn.org
Anna Banana
: When it comes to procrastination, office supplies are even more
: insidious time-wasters than the internet. I just bought 50 refrigerator
: blanks for business cards, and felt obligated to precisely affix
: business cards to half of them. This process took up the better part of
: the afternoon, that I had blocked off to finish correspondence. Now who
: the hell am I going to give these to?
BArbara,
Please send one to me. I can put it in the nifty business card index folder
that I bought last year. The four business cards that I've managed to put
into the darned thing are lonely. Or I can just slip it into the day-timer
that I often forget to keep. Or I can put it on my refrigerator (which I
I do use). I'm afraid, though, it might end up in one of the special plastic
message holders on my desk. Or in one of the fun mini drawers with all
receipts.
Or in the little phone bookie in my purse. The phone bookie, by the way
was also bought at an office supply store. I have four little phone bookies.
And two desk blotters with special slots for more pieces of paper.
Come to think of it, I do rely pretty heavily on my memory to locate any
one thing in the clutter of tools I've bought to help myself get organized.
Anna
My socks are grouped together according to thickness. But not matched.
Which has nothing to do with the above. Or office supplies.
Katy333333
of "It's tax-deductible". Someone ought to strip me of my Staples card
and seize the many excess paper holding devices, decorative stationery and
address organizers I have but never use...
Larry Bassel/Barbara Frezza
Publishing) writes:
>
>CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS
>OFFICE AND ART SUPPLY JUNKY
>
>BSBN Publishing is taking submissions of writing, art, poetry,
questions
>for the Answer Man, comic art, confessions, etc. for issues #3 & #4 of
>Office and Art Supply Junky, the zine by and for office and art supply
>junkies the world over.
>
>First, you must admit that you too are an office or art supply junky.
That
>is the first step.
>
>The next step is to write to us. You are not alone. There are many
like
>you, many worse off than you are.
>
Kathy Vincent
: BArbara Frezza wrote:
: : When it comes to procrastination, office supplies are even more
: : insidious time-wasters than the internet. I just bought 50 refrigerator
: : blanks for business cards, and felt obligated to precisely affix
: : business cards to half of them. This process took up the better part of
: : the afternoon, that I had blocked off to finish correspondence. Now who
: : the hell am I going to give these to?
OK, I give up: What are "refrigerator blanks"? Obviously not the same
thing as "blank refrigerators" -- else that would seem to be a hefty
price (in more than one sense of each of those words) to pay to have
something on/in which to place business cards. Not only would it take
the better part of an afternoon to deal with 50 blank refrigerators,
it would take the better part of a house to put them in. On the other
hand, I'd think you wouldn't have much trouble finding people to give
them to. (I _am_ trying to imagine Anna putting a refrigerator on her
refrigerator ... Ref: Next paragraph.)
: Please send one to me. I can put it in the nifty business card index folder
: that I bought last year. The four business cards that I've managed to put
: into the darned thing are lonely. Or I can just slip it into the day-timer
: that I often forget to keep. Or I can put it on my refrigerator (which I
: I do use). I'm afraid, though, it might end up in one of the special plastic
: message holders on my desk. Or in one of the fun mini drawers with all
: receipts.
: Or in the little phone bookie in my purse. The phone bookie, by the way
: was also bought at an office supply store. I have four little phone bookies.
: And two desk blotters with special slots for more pieces of paper.
: Come to think of it, I do rely pretty heavily on my memory to locate any
: one thing in the clutter of tools I've bought to help myself get organized.
Paper. I have paper. I have pads and pads of paper.
(Sung to the tune of Letterman's "Viewer Mail Theme.")
I'm always afraid I'll run out, but I never do -- or
perhaps it would be more precise to say I haven't YET.
("See? I told you I'd run out!") (Rather like that idea
that there are two kinds of hypotheses: Those that have
been disproven -- and those that have yet to be disproven.
Actually, I think there are three kinds of hypotheses,
but I don't remember the third kind, don't remember where
I read that, and find two is neater to deal with at the
moment.)
Paper is one of Those Things I seem never to have enough of.
Pads. Boxes. Loose leaf. Binders. I am always astonished to
find myself in the home of someone who cannot find a single
scrap of paper on which to write a note. I can offer a
would-be note-writer different grades, stocks, weights,
finishes, colors, shapes, sizes of paper -- and a variety
of writing instruments (just don't ask to write with my
good pens). I don't feel secure without having a ton of
paper around. Rather like not feeling secure without
having a good supply of chocolate around ...
: My socks are grouped together according to thickness. But not matched.
: Which has nothing to do with the above. Or office supplies.
Skivvies, socks, office supplies, and chocolate.
What does it all mean, Batman?
--
Kathy Vincent
vinc...@wfu.edu
http://www.wfu.edu/~vincentk
Wolf Lahti
>
>I just bought 50 refrigerator blanks for business cards...
'Refrigerator blanks'?
I have no idea what you're talking about. Do I need to rush to my office-
supply shop and find some, whatever they are? Is my life incomplete
without them?
-------------------------------------------------
"Those who take this seriously deserve to."
-- Donna Barr
-------------------------------------------------
Larry Bassel/Barbara Frezza
writes:
>Anna Banana wrote:
>: BArbara Frezza wrote:
>
>: : When it comes to procrastination, office supplies are even more
refrigerator
>: : blanks for business cards, and felt obligated to precisely affix
>: : business cards to half of them. This process took up the better
part of
>: : the afternoon, that I had blocked off to finish correspondence.
Now who
>: : the hell am I going to give these to?
>
>OK, I give up: What are "refrigerator blanks"?
Oops! I didn't realize the omission until I pushed the "send" icon.
This should read "refrigerator magnet blanks." These are refrigerator
magnets the same size as a standard business card. You peel off the wax
paper from the top, and affix your business card to the adhesive on the
surface.
Barbara
(T. Dunn)
Join the club. I am also an office supply junkie (with 200+ office supply
catalogs filed in binders) and would like to spread this disease. In the
interest of this, you can visit our Office Supply Junkie's Database at
http://www.hway.net/zuzu/off-sup.htm . I have always suspected that there
were others on the paperclip nod. When it comes to business cards, fancy
paper, and the quest for the perfect pen, I am a spending fool.
T. Dunn/ Editor
The Zuzu's Petals Literary Resource/ Zuzu's Petals Quarterly Online
http://www.hway.net/zuzu/index.htm
NCSA Mosaic Pick of the Week--12/1/95 Bob's Kool Pick of the Week 11/95
* resources for creative people * critically acclaimed literary
magazine *
Anna Banana
dark paper fetish secret:
(which I snip 'cause it really, really makes her antsy and
therefore fun to watch, although I do share the need for paper
if not the pens, being a pencil-type writer myself)
: Skivvies, socks, office supplies, and chocolate.
: What does it all mean, Batman?
Well: socks in the woolie drawer, skivvies on eavesdroppers,
office supplies all over, chocolate on white shirts and
superheroes on the top shelf in the kitchen cabinet next to
the terra cotta garlic oven.
This ought to clear things up.
Anna
chris mclaughlin
: When it comes to procrastination, office supplies are even more
: insidious time-wasters than the internet. . .
I'm pretty safe in office supply stores, but have you ever
been in a scientific surplus supply store? Wooden lasts
for WWI army shoes, one dusty thigh-high rubber boot,
tiny mortars and pestles, frogs in formaldehyde, bell
jars, bomb shell casings, yellow silk parachutes,
flasks, flasks, and more flasks, rubber body part
molds.
Sigh!
Chris
Kathy Vincent
: Kathy Vincent speculated after she revealed a deep
: dark paper fetish secret:
(Shhh! Anna! That guy who's looking for our Deepest Darkest Secrets
might hear you! Well, as long as he doesn't find out about my
fountain pen fetish. The Freudian implications! ... Oops ...)
: (which I snip 'cause it really, really makes her antsy and
: therefore fun to watch, although I do share the need for paper
: if not the pens, being a pencil-type writer myself)
(Ick. All that black stuff rubbing off on your hands! Messy.
Whole notebooks turning into grey pages after much use --
all the graphite having been smeared around and around
and around ... Messy, messy, messy. Of course, if you ever
need a good excuse to have lost something -- "Well, it _was_
here, but, gee, I guess I've been carrying this notebook
around so long, all the pencil writing just rubbed away
into this sheet of grey. Sorry.")
: : Skivvies, socks, office supplies, and chocolate.
: : What does it all mean, Batman?
: Well: socks in the woolie drawer, skivvies on eavesdroppers,
: office supplies all over, chocolate on white shirts and
: superheroes on the top shelf in the kitchen cabinet next to
: the terra cotta garlic oven.
: This ought to clear things up.
Actually, I was addressing my batman, Bunter.
But since you responded ...
Why would you want to keep socks in your woolie drawers?
Wouldn't a bureau drawer be more appropriate? And aren't
woolie drawers a bit, um, uncomfortable? Rather itchy?
Warm, I'm sure, but ...
And me, I keep my superheroes a bit closer to hand
than the kitchen ...
Kathy Vincent
: Kathy Vincent wrote:
: : Actually, I was addressing my batman, Bunter.
: Oh, that's different, then. Isn't it? Is Bunter that
: orderly?
You really _do_ think we all work in hospitals, don't you?
No, Bunter isn't an orderly. Bunter is a batman.
Specifically, Bunter is Lord Peter Death Bredon's batman.
I just like to think of him as my batman, too.
"It makes me HAP-py," as some little kid used to say
in some TV advertisement ages ago, an ad which I am relieved
to be able to say I don't remember -- other than that one
line -- but which you, however, may remember, seeing as how
you seem to be able to remember more USA American TV than I can ...
Bunter is both neat and neat.
And he actually gets very upset when I address him,
because I like to do it with my fountain pen,
all over his freshly (and neatly) pressed white shirts.
I write all over his back, and then I _do_ insist
on licking and sticking all those stamps all over him ...
Really rather bothers him. And I really rather like bothering him.
And no, Bunter is not a bunter in baseball.
He prefers cricket. (He would actually prefer praying mantis,
were that a ball game played in a field with a long
wooden stick and a bunch of well-dressed men, but since
it isn't ...)
: My batmen are kept in the breadbox next to Bill's Kaiser's.
How clever of you! To be able to fit one of them, much
less a plurality, in a single breadbox. And me, I'd Roth'er
keep my Kaiser next to the Reynolds Wrap -- or, barring that,
in one of those castles in Bavaria ...
Anna Banana
: Actually, I was addressing my batman, Bunter.
Oh, that's different, then. Isn't it? Is Bunter that
orderly?
My batmen are kept in the breadbox next to Bill's Kaiser's.
Anna
Anna Banana
You know, sometimes I sit, looking at this screen and thinking,
'How can I write a post obscure enough that I'll have to post
again and explain it?' Which, when you think about it, truly
does capture the spirit of friendly communication. I'm ashamed.
: : Oh, that's different, then. Isn't it? Is Bunter that
: : orderly?
In the British army, an officer often had a batman. A batman
performed the menial chores of a personal servant. He was
also sometimes called an orderly. Orderlies could be either
soldiers of a low rank or natives of the country the British
were governing or saving at the time.
Is Bunter _that_ orderly. or Is Bunter that _orderly_ .
(Yes, I do think I should be shot).
There was a popular song which was called
"I was Kaiser Bill's Batman."
I'd post it, but I can't whistle.
So much for proof that I watch old black-and-white war movies.
But Bunter? I guess the term 'batman' has come to mean personal
butler or manservant in civilian upper crusts. Neat (see below).
: Bunter is both neat and neat.
: And he actually gets very upset when I address him,
: because I like to do it with my fountain pen,
: all over his freshly (and neatly) pressed white shirts.
: I write all over his back, and then I _do_ insist
: on licking and sticking all those stamps all over him ...
: Really rather bothers him. And I really rather like bothering him.
: And no, Bunter is not a bunter in baseball.
: He prefers cricket. (He would actually prefer praying mantis,
: were that a ball game played in a field with a long
: wooden stick and a bunch of well-dressed men, but since
: it isn't ...)
Thanks for explaining. Now I get your reference. So it _is_
another British thing. Hmmm. Either Merchant or Ivory should
be told about this.
Gosh, look at the time.
Anna
Sometimes being a wiseass can make one sound like a... wiseass.
P. Ford
flood. Tomorrow, I'll go to Staples and *smell* the paper. And buy all
kinds of fun doo-dads, paper, a new stapler, some funny Post-It notes to
put on my handouts for duplication, a folder for my tax receipts, a new
box for my disks, and . . . Paula, back to lucking
Lorrill Buyens
Thrift stores & garage/yard/rummage sales & flea markets, anyone? Used records,
books, jigsaw puzzles, board games, hats & caps, mugs & glassware, plaques with
cutesy sayings, wall decorations, clothing & slogan buttons, Avon containers,
cookie & candy tins, costume jewelry, knickknacks...
Lorrill (Not to mention the yearly VNSA book/magazine/record/sheet music/odds &
ends sale at the state fairgrounds...) Buyens
----------------------------------------------------------------
| Doctor Fraud |Always believe six|
|Mad Inventor & Purveyor of Pseudopsychology |impossible things |
| Weird Science At Bargain Rates |before breakfast. |
|----------------------------------------------------------------|
|"Where did Robinson Crusoe go | "On a double |
| with Friday on Saturday night?" - Al Jolson | date?" - Me|
----------------------------------------------------------------
Wendy Chatley Green
buy...@primenet.com (Lorrill Buyens) wrote:
:chris mclaughlin <cmcl...@post.its.mcw.edu>, while summoning a demon, chanted :
:
:>lab...@ix.netcom.com(Larry Bassel/Barbara Frezza ),I think, wrote:
:
:>: When it comes to procrastination, office supplies are even more
:>: insidious time-wasters than the internet. . .
:
:>I'm pretty safe in office supply stores, but have you ever
:>been in a scientific surplus supply store? W
:Thrift stores & garage/yard/rummage sales & flea markets, anyone? Used records,
:books, jigsaw puzzles, board games, hats & caps, mugs & glassware, plaques with
:cutesy sayings, wall decorations, clothing & slogan buttons, Avon containers,
:cookie & candy tins, costume jewelry, knickknacks...
:
:Lorrill (Not to mention the yearly VNSA book/magazine/record/sheet music/odds &
:ends sale at the state fairgrounds...) Buyens
Estate sales and auctions. Unlike garage sales, all the
possessions are displayed for purchase--girdles, half-finished quilts,
family albums, everything.
I was at one where the owner was a Ren. Faire knight, a
backpacker and a former volunteer fireman. I picked up some slightly
worn camping gear and my kids got to model his protective fire gear,
and his jousting helmet and shield while the auctioneer
handled the bidding on them.
:
--
Wendy Chatley Green -- wcg...@cris.com
Kathy Vincent
: Kathy,
: You know, sometimes I sit, looking at this screen and thinking,
: 'How can I write a post obscure enough that I'll have to post
: again and explain it?' Which, when you think about it, truly
: does capture the spirit of friendly communication. I'm ashamed.
: : : Oh, that's different, then. Isn't it? Is Bunter that
: : : orderly?
: In the British army, an officer often had a batman. A batman
: performed the menial chores of a personal servant. He was
: also sometimes called an orderly. Orderlies could be either
: soldiers of a low rank or natives of the country the British
: were governing or saving at the time.
: Is Bunter _that_ orderly. or Is Bunter that _orderly_ .
: (Yes, I do think I should be shot).
Not at all.
Bunter was, yes, LPDBW's batman -- in the British army in WWI.
After the war, he stayed with LPDBW as his manservant.
I did know about the batman in the army, though I didn't know
they were also sometimes called orderlies and I had only this
vague idea of what they actually did. (Sometimes I thought
maybe they watched the back of the batmanee and, if someone
snuck up on said batmanee, whomped the sneaker-upper over
the head with a large cricket bat. Somehow I knew that probably
wasn't true, but I did like the picture, so I stuck with it.)
So I both got and didn't get it -- and where you, with the _orderly_
emphasis (as opposed to the _that_ emphasis) were referring
to alternate terminology in the British army, I, with that
same emphasis, was referring to hospital orderlies and to
your comment (somewhere else) that, after watching so much
USA TV you were sure all USAmericans worked in hospitals ...
Isn't that charming? All this be-getting and be-gotting?
And right in the middle of a newsgroup, too.
Right out here in front of 12 million lurkers,
give or take a couple thou(sand thees).
: There was a popular song which was called
: "I was Kaiser Bill's Batman."
This I don't know about. I was thinking about Kaiser rolls, I think.
: I'd post it, but I can't whistle.
But can you ride to hounds?
: So much for proof that I watch old black-and-white war movies.
: But Bunter? I guess the term 'batman' has come to mean personal
: butler or manservant in civilian upper crusts. Neat (see below).
I don't know about the term coming to mean, but Bunter went
from batman to personal manservant, and I was referring to
Bunter mostly in the latter capacity as being orderly and,
well, neat and neat. On the other hand, I also like the idea
of having someone around to whomp people over the head with
a cricket bat if those people try to sneak up on me.
<wistful sigh>
: : Bunter is both neat and neat.
: : And he actually gets very upset when I address him,
: : because I like to do it with my fountain pen,
: : all over his freshly (and neatly) pressed white shirts.
: : I write all over his back, and then I _do_ insist
: : on licking and sticking all those stamps all over him ...
: : Really rather bothers him. And I really rather like bothering him.
: : And no, Bunter is not a bunter in baseball.
: : He prefers cricket. (He would actually prefer praying mantis,
: : were that a ball game played in a field with a long
: : wooden stick and a bunch of well-dressed men, but since
: : it isn't ...)
: Thanks for explaining. Now I get your reference. So it _is_
: another British thing. Hmmm. Either Merchant or Ivory should
: be told about this.
(Do I need to remark about the USAmerican baseball term "bunter"?)
Meanwhile, the BBC already knows about it, I think.
They've done several dramatisations (note proper use of "s")
of Dorothy L. Sayers' Wimsey books (featuring Bunter,
manservant and former batman) for "Mystery."
Edward Petherbridge did the latest round.
Smashing as Wimsey. Bunter was played by someone I lase saw
in the Poldark series. I don't remember the actor's name.
Around and around and around we go, stringing complication
along in our wake. And having a jolly good time doing it, too.
--
Kathy Vincent
vinc...@wfu.edu
http://www.wfu.edu/~vincentk
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"My first reaction to Humpty Dumpty was, 'Did he fall or was he pushed?
And why were all the king's horses and all the king's men there if it
wasn't a coverup ?'" -- P.D. James
Hound of Cullen
[munch]
:
:: I'd post it, but I can't whistle.
:
:But can you ride to hounds?
:
I'm sure you snuck this in there, Kathy, to get me to post to this silly
thread. But it won't work. I'm too clever for that! Hahahaha....
What?
I _did?
Rats.
Hound (doing my part to confuse the issue) of Cullen
Alan Langford
: Anna and Kathy, going 'round and 'round, came to this:
: [munch]
: :
: :: I'd post it, but I can't whistle.
: :
: :But can you ride to hounds?
: Ride to Hound's _what? What do I have that needs riding to?
I'm not exactly sure, but I understand from other threads that you can
wrap it with duct tape in order to keep it upright.
The West coast has some _fascinating_ traditions, eh?
Julian Larsen
bonw...@PEAK.ORG wrote:
> If I see any strange-looking characters wandering around the office
> supply store, I'll stop and introduce myself. It just might be one of you.
>
> Bonnie
> bonw...@peak.org
Yes, I find I can waste a lot of time in office and art supply stores. All
those reams of paper, packets of manilla folders, seven dollar mechanical
pencils.
Oh!
Groovy.
Julian Larsen
sa...@peak.org
bonw...@peak.org
Well, this topic dragged me out of lurk mode!
I have to agree with the person who said:
>>When it comes to procrastination, office supplies are even more
:>: insidious time-wasters than the internet. . .
<<
If ever I had time to do nothing but *waste time*, I would do it in an
office supply store! (My husband's version of this is a hardware
store...all those bins of nuts 'n bolts...ahhhhh!)
An office supply store is arranged for people like me--
Ceiling-high stacks of boxes holding manila folders, a huge
assortment of paper...and one of my favorites, the *paper clip* aisle!
I'd like to interview the person who comes up with new ideas for those
colored paperclips. Whatta job! :)