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HOLY SHIT! ANOTHER PREDICTION RIGHT ON THE NOSE
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Intrepid
Jan 1, 2010, 5:03:05 PM1/1/10
to
<
RALEIGH, N.C. (Rueters) -- Investigators
have solved the mystery of where Bernard
Maddoff had hidden $21.5 billion as part
of his estimated $65 billion Ponzi scheme.
Acting on a tip from an anonymous
source -- Ed Conrad, since Ruters does
not withhold the names of anonymous
sources -- prison staff at the Butner Federal
Correction Complex near here thoroughly
searched Madoff's cell today and were
puzzled when they found 65 pairs of socks
under his bunk.
An investiagation found they were all
stuffed with crumbled $10,000 bills.
Madoff, 71, has just returned from
a hospital to continue serving out his
150-year sentence and it is strongly
doubtful that he will live long enough
to rejoin the financial community.
< It had clearly been predicted that
investigators would find the hidden
cash in his socks.
>
MORE MORE MORE
<
========================= .
<
EARLIER STORY . . .
<
HAZLETON, Pa. (Rueters) -- Another
prophesy for the new decade came true
around 4:45 this morning when the late
MotherTeresa and the late George Carlin
appeared at Father Guido Sarducci's bed-
side and scared the living sh*t out of him.
Father Sarducci, who was not smoking
in bed, got up, lit a cigarette and showed
Fox News how close he came to pooping
in his pajamas.
<
http://www.fathersarducci.com/images/sarduccioval.gif
<
This prophesy was a bit off-target because
it had explicitly stated that, when Father
Sarducci would see the ghosts, he would
swallow his cigarette.
Well, nobody's perfect.
<
Before he disapeared, Mr. Carlin forgot
to take this video he had with him.
<
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o
<
============================
<
AN EVEN EARLIER STORY . . . .
<
PREDICTIONS FOR THE NEW DECADE . . .
<
These predictions will appear in the order in which they will occur,
just like Nostradamus.
<
10 -- Rush Limbaugh has a heart attack while on vacation in Hawaii.
There are fears that he had become brain dead and a Babbling Idiot
until neurologists revealed that tests showed "The Loudmouth" has been
a Babbling Idiot for years. (Please note that the timing of this
tragic event is
a bit cloudy. It could happen early in 2010 but possibly in the waning
days of 2009)
<.
9 -- The late Mother Teresa, accompanied by the late George Carlin,
appear to Father Guido Sarducci and scare the living shit out of him.
He almost swallows his cigarette.
<
8 -- Federal agents finally discover where Bernard Madoff has been
hiding $21.5 billion all these years. Amazingly, nobody ever asked if
they could search his socks.
<
7 -- Keith Olbermann gets into a pissing match with Glenn Beck.
Olbermann wins because his urine goes approximately two feet farther.
<
6 -- Dick Cheney accidentally swallows Truth Serum and starts
rattling off horrid details of the 911 government conspiracy. It's a
two-for-one day when Tiger Woods admits being the father of 375
children.
<
5 -- Extraterrestrials make their first official contact with the
people of earth. However, within 45 minutes, they head back to their
distant galaxy, moaning that their trip was a complete waste of time.
<
4 -- George W. Bush pronouncement of "Mission Accomplished"
celebrates the 6,000th day since he first said it (The streak has now
extended for 16 years and we're still counting).
<
3 -- Evolutionists and atheists finally admit the theory of man's
evolution is a myth and replace all statues of Charles Darwin with
those of Ed Conrad. All old science textbooks are burned and new
factual ones printed.
<
2 -- Medical experts unveil a cure for all cancers, admitting they
have had it since 1953 but couldn't reveal it sooner because of the
steady cash flow.
<
1 -- Ed Conrad kicks the bucket and thousands pee on his grave
after the services. Richard Dawkins, who had traveled all the way
from Jolly Old for the funeral, waits until the sun goes down so he
can take (leave?) a healthy crap. Miraculously, tiger lillys grow
overnight on the exact
spot of his defacation and blossom the next day. Pope Benedict praises
God and declares it a freakin' miracle.
<
==============================
<
DEATH DOES NOT EXIST, YOU MORON
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Miracle.jpg
http://edconrad.com/lifeafterdeath
<
MAN AS OLD AS COLE SLAW
http://www.edconrad.com
<
=========================
<
<
LIST OF ANTHROPOLOGY ASSOCIATIONS THAT
MAY HAVE BEEN SLANDERED BY ED CONRAD
<
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SaveTheWhale.jpg
<
American Anthropological Association
American Association of Physical Anthropologists
American Board of Forensic Anthropology
American Society of Primatologists
American Academy of Forensic Sciences
The British Academy
Institute of Human Origins
The Leakey Foundation
Palaeoanthropology Society
University Departments (Brainwashing101)
Department of Anthropology, University of Arizona
School of Human Evolution & Social Change (formerly Department of
Anthropology) Arizona State University
Anthropology at Berkeley, University of California, Berkeley
Department of Anthropology, University of California, Los Angeles
Anthropology at UCSD, University of California, San Diego
Department of Anthropology, University of California, Santa Barbara)
Department of Anthropology, University of Chicago
Department of Anthropology, Columbia University
Department of Anthropology, Cornell University
Ph.D. Program in Anthropology, CUNY
Department of Biological Anthropology and Anatomy, Duke University
Department of Anthropology, University of Florida
Department of Anthropology, Harvard University
Anthropology @ UIUC, University of Illinois
Anthropology Department, Indiana University
Department of Anthropology, Johns Hopkins University
Department of Anthropology, University of Michigan
Department of Anthropology, New York University
Department of Anthropology, University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill
Anthropology: at the University of Pennsylvania
Department of Anthropology, University of Pittsburgh
Department of Anthropology, Princeton University
Center for Human Evolutionary Studies (Rutgers University)
Department of Anthropological Sciences, Stanford Unversity
Department of Anthropology, University of Texas
Department of Anthropology, University of Virginia
Department of Anthropology, University of Washington
Department of Anthropology, University of Wisconsin, Madison
<
Archaeological Institute of America
Association for Feminist Anthropology
Association of Black Anthropologists
Association of Latina and Latino Anthropologists
Human Biology Association
Paleoanthropology Society
Society for American Archaeology
Society for Historical Archaeology
Society for Archaeological Sciences
Society for Applied Anthropology
Society for Economic Anthropology
Society for Ethnomusicology
<
UNITED STATES (REGIONAL)
Northeastern Anthropological Association
Eastern States Archaeological Federation
Council for Northeast Historical Archaeology
Archaeological Society of Connecticut
Maine Archaeological Society
Massachusetts Archaeological Society
New Hampshire Archeological Society
New York State Archaeological Association
Vermont Archaeological Society
>
INTERNATIONAL ANTHROPOLOGY ORGANIZATIONS
International Union of Anthropological and Ethnological Sciences
Canadian Sociology and Anthropology Association
Societe canadienne de sociologie et d'anthropologie
Canadian Archaeological Association
Canadian Anthropology Society
Royal Anthropological Institute (UK)
Association of Social Anthropologists of U.K. and the Commonwealth
European Association of Social Anthropologists
Association of Social Anthropologists of Aoteaora/NewZealand
Council for British Archaeology
Society for Industrial Archaeology
Society of Africanist Archaeologists
<
ABC NBC CBS MSNBC Fox News CNN Keith Olbermann Michael
Moore Bill O'Reilly George Bush New York Times Post Daily
Daily News Newsweek Washington Post Wall Street Journal Bill Moyers
Chris Matthews Lou Dobbs AOL Time Warner AT&T CBS Viacom Disney
Rupert Murdoch News Corporation Newsday AAA PBS Newsweek USA
Today The Nation Tiger Woods War in Iraq talk.origins David Iain
Greig
Scott McClellan Heaven Hell PBS BBC Lou Dobbs Brian Williams Katie
Couric Charles Gibson White House The Great Kreskin Evolution FedEx
Creation Intelligent Design Extraterrestrials Blly Meier UFOs Hubble
UPS
Charles Darwin Coke News of the World New England Journal of Medicine
Bill Gates Smithsonian Yomiuri Shimbun Asahi Shimbun Bild Germany
The Sun London The View 60 Minutes Oprah Winfrey Rosie O'Donnell
Meet the Press Anderson Cooper Science Pseudoscientists Religion
Pope John XXIII Republican Las Vegas Evolution Democrat Evolutionists
Sean Penn Jane Fonda Kevin Smith AP Associated Press War in Iraq
Reuters Pravda Baghdad Iran Rush Limbaugh U,.S. News and World
Report Fortune 500 OPEC Cancer Bill Maher Osama bin Laden 911
Government Conspiracy
RALEIGH, N.C. (Rueters) -- Investigators
have solved the mystery of where Bernard
Maddoff had hidden $21.5 billion as part
of his estimated $65 billion Ponzi scheme.
Acting on a tip from an anonymous
source -- Ed Conrad, since Ruters does
not withhold the names of anonymous
sources -- prison staff at the Butner Federal
Correction Complex near here thoroughly
searched Madoff's cell today and were
puzzled when they found 65 pairs of socks
under his bunk.
An investiagation found they were all
stuffed with crumbled $10,000 bills.
Madoff, 71, has just returned from
a hospital to continue serving out his
150-year sentence and it is strongly
doubtful that he will live long enough
to rejoin the financial community.
< It had clearly been predicted that
investigators would find the hidden
cash in his socks.
>
MORE MORE MORE
<
========================= .
<
EARLIER STORY . . .
<
HAZLETON, Pa. (Rueters) -- Another
prophesy for the new decade came true
around 4:45 this morning when the late
MotherTeresa and the late George Carlin
appeared at Father Guido Sarducci's bed-
side and scared the living sh*t out of him.
Father Sarducci, who was not smoking
in bed, got up, lit a cigarette and showed
Fox News how close he came to pooping
in his pajamas.
<
http://www.fathersarducci.com/images/sarduccioval.gif
<
This prophesy was a bit off-target because
it had explicitly stated that, when Father
Sarducci would see the ghosts, he would
swallow his cigarette.
Well, nobody's perfect.
<
Before he disapeared, Mr. Carlin forgot
to take this video he had with him.
<
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o
<
============================
<
AN EVEN EARLIER STORY . . . .
<
PREDICTIONS FOR THE NEW DECADE . . .
<
These predictions will appear in the order in which they will occur,
just like Nostradamus.
<
10 -- Rush Limbaugh has a heart attack while on vacation in Hawaii.
There are fears that he had become brain dead and a Babbling Idiot
until neurologists revealed that tests showed "The Loudmouth" has been
a Babbling Idiot for years. (Please note that the timing of this
tragic event is
a bit cloudy. It could happen early in 2010 but possibly in the waning
days of 2009)
<.
9 -- The late Mother Teresa, accompanied by the late George Carlin,
appear to Father Guido Sarducci and scare the living shit out of him.
He almost swallows his cigarette.
<
8 -- Federal agents finally discover where Bernard Madoff has been
hiding $21.5 billion all these years. Amazingly, nobody ever asked if
they could search his socks.
<
7 -- Keith Olbermann gets into a pissing match with Glenn Beck.
Olbermann wins because his urine goes approximately two feet farther.
<
6 -- Dick Cheney accidentally swallows Truth Serum and starts
rattling off horrid details of the 911 government conspiracy. It's a
two-for-one day when Tiger Woods admits being the father of 375
children.
<
5 -- Extraterrestrials make their first official contact with the
people of earth. However, within 45 minutes, they head back to their
distant galaxy, moaning that their trip was a complete waste of time.
<
4 -- George W. Bush pronouncement of "Mission Accomplished"
celebrates the 6,000th day since he first said it (The streak has now
extended for 16 years and we're still counting).
<
3 -- Evolutionists and atheists finally admit the theory of man's
evolution is a myth and replace all statues of Charles Darwin with
those of Ed Conrad. All old science textbooks are burned and new
factual ones printed.
<
2 -- Medical experts unveil a cure for all cancers, admitting they
have had it since 1953 but couldn't reveal it sooner because of the
steady cash flow.
<
1 -- Ed Conrad kicks the bucket and thousands pee on his grave
after the services. Richard Dawkins, who had traveled all the way
from Jolly Old for the funeral, waits until the sun goes down so he
can take (leave?) a healthy crap. Miraculously, tiger lillys grow
overnight on the exact
spot of his defacation and blossom the next day. Pope Benedict praises
God and declares it a freakin' miracle.
<
==============================
<
DEATH DOES NOT EXIST, YOU MORON
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Miracle.jpg
http://edconrad.com/lifeafterdeath
<
MAN AS OLD AS COLE SLAW
http://www.edconrad.com
<
=========================
<
<
LIST OF ANTHROPOLOGY ASSOCIATIONS THAT
MAY HAVE BEEN SLANDERED BY ED CONRAD
<
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SaveTheWhale.jpg
<
American Anthropological Association
American Association of Physical Anthropologists
American Board of Forensic Anthropology
American Society of Primatologists
American Academy of Forensic Sciences
The British Academy
Institute of Human Origins
The Leakey Foundation
Palaeoanthropology Society
University Departments (Brainwashing101)
Department of Anthropology, University of Arizona
School of Human Evolution & Social Change (formerly Department of
Anthropology) Arizona State University
Anthropology at Berkeley, University of California, Berkeley
Department of Anthropology, University of California, Los Angeles
Anthropology at UCSD, University of California, San Diego
Department of Anthropology, University of California, Santa Barbara)
Department of Anthropology, University of Chicago
Department of Anthropology, Columbia University
Department of Anthropology, Cornell University
Ph.D. Program in Anthropology, CUNY
Department of Biological Anthropology and Anatomy, Duke University
Department of Anthropology, University of Florida
Department of Anthropology, Harvard University
Anthropology @ UIUC, University of Illinois
Anthropology Department, Indiana University
Department of Anthropology, Johns Hopkins University
Department of Anthropology, University of Michigan
Department of Anthropology, New York University
Department of Anthropology, University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill
Anthropology: at the University of Pennsylvania
Department of Anthropology, University of Pittsburgh
Department of Anthropology, Princeton University
Center for Human Evolutionary Studies (Rutgers University)
Department of Anthropological Sciences, Stanford Unversity
Department of Anthropology, University of Texas
Department of Anthropology, University of Virginia
Department of Anthropology, University of Washington
Department of Anthropology, University of Wisconsin, Madison
<
Archaeological Institute of America
Association for Feminist Anthropology
Association of Black Anthropologists
Association of Latina and Latino Anthropologists
Human Biology Association
Paleoanthropology Society
Society for American Archaeology
Society for Historical Archaeology
Society for Archaeological Sciences
Society for Applied Anthropology
Society for Economic Anthropology
Society for Ethnomusicology
<
UNITED STATES (REGIONAL)
Northeastern Anthropological Association
Eastern States Archaeological Federation
Council for Northeast Historical Archaeology
Archaeological Society of Connecticut
Maine Archaeological Society
Massachusetts Archaeological Society
New Hampshire Archeological Society
New York State Archaeological Association
Vermont Archaeological Society
>
INTERNATIONAL ANTHROPOLOGY ORGANIZATIONS
International Union of Anthropological and Ethnological Sciences
Canadian Sociology and Anthropology Association
Societe canadienne de sociologie et d'anthropologie
Canadian Archaeological Association
Canadian Anthropology Society
Royal Anthropological Institute (UK)
Association of Social Anthropologists of U.K. and the Commonwealth
European Association of Social Anthropologists
Association of Social Anthropologists of Aoteaora/NewZealand
Council for British Archaeology
Society for Industrial Archaeology
Society of Africanist Archaeologists
<
ABC NBC CBS MSNBC Fox News CNN Keith Olbermann Michael
Moore Bill O'Reilly George Bush New York Times Post Daily
Daily News Newsweek Washington Post Wall Street Journal Bill Moyers
Chris Matthews Lou Dobbs AOL Time Warner AT&T CBS Viacom Disney
Rupert Murdoch News Corporation Newsday AAA PBS Newsweek USA
Today The Nation Tiger Woods War in Iraq talk.origins David Iain
Greig
Scott McClellan Heaven Hell PBS BBC Lou Dobbs Brian Williams Katie
Couric Charles Gibson White House The Great Kreskin Evolution FedEx
Creation Intelligent Design Extraterrestrials Blly Meier UFOs Hubble
UPS
Charles Darwin Coke News of the World New England Journal of Medicine
Bill Gates Smithsonian Yomiuri Shimbun Asahi Shimbun Bild Germany
The Sun London The View 60 Minutes Oprah Winfrey Rosie O'Donnell
Meet the Press Anderson Cooper Science Pseudoscientists Religion
Pope John XXIII Republican Las Vegas Evolution Democrat Evolutionists
Sean Penn Jane Fonda Kevin Smith AP Associated Press War in Iraq
Reuters Pravda Baghdad Iran Rush Limbaugh U,.S. News and World
Report Fortune 500 OPEC Cancer Bill Maher Osama bin Laden 911
Government Conspiracy
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