Script Tip: Strange Devices
wcmartell
by William C. Martell
The difference between a good script and a great one is in the
details, and with Producers wading through 50,000 *new* spec scripts a
year, your script better be GREAT. The way to make your script jump to
the top of the pile is to give the audience something extra... A neat
idea or device they haven't seen before. Something to talk about,
after the film is over and the credits are rolling. Something that
makes your script unlike the other 49,999 in the pile. Something
special and unique.
Back in my community college film appreciation class they screened a
short film by local success story Paul Kyriazi, I think called THE
TOURNAMENT. It was a martial arts chase film, and the hero takes a lot
of punches in the film, but waits until the end to dish one out... and
what a punch it is! He punches *through* a bad guy's chest - popping
out a plug of flesh. The bad guy looks down - and there's a hole clean
through him! You can see the sky! Then he falls onto the grass, dead,
and the grass comes through the hole! This impressed me - how the heck
did Paul do that? Paul's films were always filled with amazing cinema
tricks... and that made them cool and different.
One of the things I really liked about THE INCREDIBLE HULK were the
subtitles that told us how many days Bruce Banner has gone without an
anger incident - like those workplace signs that brag about how many
days without an accident. The first time we get the title, it's
amusing... but when they continue using it throughout the film, it
becomes that something extra - a device that makes this film different
than any other and tells us something about Banner's character at this
point in the story. Is he in control? Feeling guilty about losing
control? Or waking up from an incident where he has lost control, and
maybe done something terrible?
In THREE KINGS the characters talk about how sepsis is the real killer
on the battlefield - a bullet nicks an internal organ like the liver
and the infection that results kills the soldier. Battlefields are not
a very clean environment. Once we hear this, we become paranoid that
one of our heroes will get shot... and die of infection. So when they
*do* get shot, we get this cool *internal* shot - almost an ex-ray -
of the bullet entering the body... will it nick an organ? Or miss?
Every time someone important to the story is shot, we get to follow
the path of the bullet once it is *inside* their body - that's
something I had never seen before in a movie! It was cool (though
kinda gross) and gave us story information we usually don't have
access to in a movie. It also creates suspense, because we know
*eventually* someone will have an organ nicked and it sepsis will set
in... and they will die without *immediate* mediacl attention.
REQUIEM FOR A DREAM has a great device that *shows us* what that
cocaine rush feels like - a series of quick, frantic cuts that end
with a long, slow shot... Ahhhh. Here's that sequence:
They use this device throughout the movie... and it's so cool, THE
SIMPSONS parodied it in an episode where Homer gets addicted to Crusty
McRib sandwiches... offered for a limited time only.
RUN LOLA RUN has a great device - when Lola bumps into someone on her
run, we see a little montage of stills from their future - and how
Lola's impact changes what happens to them. This is one of my favorite
parts of this great film - because Lola bumps into these people three
times during the film, and each time she bumps into them in a
different way - and their lives turn out completely different each
time! This is more than just a cool device - it shows how our lives
affect others and how just a second's difference in when Lola bumps
into these people can have a completely different outcome. This is
what the film is about - Lola gets three chances to save her boyfriend
from being killed by mobsters - and each time she tries something
different and there is a different outcome. After each failure, the
film resets and she gets another chance. The device is not just
something extra - it helps tell the story.
MY OWN DEVICES
I've used devices like these in several screenplays, and I'm thinking
about doing it more often. They can be a great "something extra" and
also add to the story. In my RIPTIDES script there was a twist end,
and while making sure the twist was set up, I came up with a cool idea
- what if when we came to the twist end, I zipped back - like a VCR on
scan-rewind - zipping back through the film, then pausing to show a
snippet of film ... before zipping back to the next moment. And the
zipping back ends with a line of dialogue from early in the film...
that can be taken two ways. You realize that what you thought it meant
at the time was wrong - and it was actually an obvious set up for
everything that follows. If we'd only realized there was a double
meaning at the time...
In my rewrite of THE DIVISION I wanted to show the proximity of each
character to another, so I added Google Maps. Now when we move from
one neighborhood to another, we zoom up to an overhead - turn into a
Google Map, move with those little control arrows to our next location
in the map, then we zoom down to a car or a character or a house at
that location. I have plans to do this a handful of times in the
rewrite - not too many or it will wear out its welcome. But when it's
important to know the proximity of two locations, I'm using the
device.
When I was doing the second draft of my Hawaii script, I had a note
from the director to give the female lead more personality. One of the
problems with lead characters is that they often get short shrift when
it comes to personality - the supporting characters are quirky and
cool, but the leads are just leads. In this case, I had a female lead
who was, well, intelligent and pretty... but where I had been brutal
with the supporting characters - giving each of them a strange quirk
that turned them into societal outsiders - she was "normal". So I
decided to backtrack - start at where her character ended up and
figure out what kind of traits would be the opposite of that. Well,
this is a funny monster movie, and she ends up hiding from the monster
in a big pile of monster poop. When the monster comes sniffing around,
it can't smell her in the poop. Okay - what kind of person would be
least likely to end up in poop? Well, someone who didn't want to get
dirty... someone germiphobic. That played against her occupation as a
scientist working in the field. So I gave her a jumbo sized container
of Purel and made her very conscious of what she touched. This would
be a quirky, interesting character trait for an actress to play... and
makes hiding in that big pile of monster poop a major character
decision. There's a scene early on where the Male Lead and Female Lead
meet and shake hands, and those sparks of attraction fly... and now,
immediately afterwards she *bathes* her hands in sanitizer. Then
explains, "Sorry, I don't know where your hands have been." And that
gave me a great idea for a something extra device...
***
After they shake, she immediately pulls out her hand sanitizer.
DR. JENNIFER
Nothing personal. I just don't know
where your hands have been.
MONTAGE: WHERE MARK'S HAND HAS BEEN
1) POLICE STATION: Coffee pours on his hand.
2) POLICE STATION: Donut sprinkles on his hand.
3) BEHIND MARK'S HOME: Taking out the garbage.
4) LOVER'S LANE: Touching the muddy footprints.
5) LOVER'S LANE: Shaking hands with Bud.
MONTAGE: WHERE BUD'S HAND HAS BEEN
1) LOVER'S LANE: Hooking up George's car.
2) TOW TRUCK: Bud picks his nose.
3) GARAGE: Bud changing oil - filthy hands.
4) GARAGE: Bud's finger in a filthy radiator.
5) GARAGE: Bud eats greasy food - all over his hands.
EXT. COUNTRY ROADS -- DAY
Mark looks down at his hand.
***
The great thing about this device is that the theme of the script is
that everything in the world is connected in nature - every species is
dependant on every other species to survive. We may not know why some
bug is important to our survival, but it's all kind of a house of
cards, and remove one species and that may throw everything else out
of wack... and create a monster (like the one they are battling). And
the solution to the problem is that all of these quirky loners who
live out here in the sticks because they don't really want to be part
of society must come together and help each other out. So "Who have
you touched?" becomes a big part of the story, leading to the final
time I use the device - which links all of the characters in the story
together...
***
John grabs Dr. Jennifer's hand... and she takes it.
WHERE JOHN'S HAND HAS BEEN
1) JOHN'S HOUSE: John plays with his high school game ball.
2) OLD TOWN: John shakes and hugs KIMO.
3) KIMO'S BACK YARD: Kimo's hand on his MOTHER's shoulder.
4) GARDEN: Kimo's MOTHER hands a flower to a child - GARY.
5) LINDA'S YARD: Gary gives Linda the flower.
6) BUD'S GARAGE: Bud gives Linda her car keys.
7) OLD TOWN: Bud shakes hands with Oba.
8) OBA'S SHRINE: Oba lights incense, prays.
9) HOWARD'S STORE: Oba buys incense from Howard.
10) GARDEN: Howard gives a hearty hand shake to George.
11) GEORGE'S CAR: George puts a CD in his boom box.
12) NIGHT CLUB: Linda plays her guitar, Ellen listens.
13) ELLEN'S HOME: Ellen hugs her FATHER, holds him close.
Everyone is part of the community - everyone is connected.
INT. MERCY CHURCH -- DAY
Dr. Jennifer grabs Ellen's hand.
***
The key to using a device is to make sure that it isn't just some
gimmick you're throwing in to the story - that, like RUN LOLA RUN and
THE INCREDIBLE HULK, it's an important part of the story. Knowing how
long Bruce Banner has gone without an anger episode is critical to
understanding both his character at that point in the story and the
story itself. Devices like this are used to *better* tell the story,
as well as make it unique. How you tell the story is as important as
the story you chose to tell. Using and interesting and unique device
once in a while may be just what your screenplay needs.
END
For more *FREE* Script Tips:
http://www.ScriptSecrets.Net
For Screenwriting Classes on Audio CD (not free, sorry):
http://www.ScriptSecrets.Net/products/audio.htm
copyright 2008 by William C. Martell