...collected thoughts on George W. Bush
trudogg
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on George W.
Bush
The insane little dwarf, Bush.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on George W.
Bush
The midget, Bush, and that Rumsfield deserve only to be beaten with
shoes by freedom loving people everywhere.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on George W.
Bush
Bush is a very stupid man. The American people are not stupid, they
are very clever. I can't understand how such clever people came to
elect such a stupid president.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on George W.
Bush
I speak better English than this villain, Bush.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on George W.
Bush
We're going to drag the drunken, junkie nose of Bush through Iraq's
desert.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on George W.
Bush
This criminal in the White House is a stupid criminal.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on George W.
Bush
Bush doesn't even know if Spain is a republic or a kingdom, how can
they follow this man?
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on Spain's
support for the U.S.
Hopefully, he is not as stupid as he seems, nor as Mafia-like as his
predecessors were.
- Fidel Castro
You know, we make fun of President Bush. But seriously, it's nice to
have a president who is busy coloring eggs instead of trying to
fertilize them.
- Jay Leno
Mr. Rogers went to the White House, and it was very nice. He stopped
by the White House and took four new, big words to the president.
- David Letterman
Logically unsound, confused and unprincipled, unwise to the extreme.
- Jiang Zemin, Chinese President, on George W. Bush
I saw an intelligence expert on TV today saying the White House failed
to connect the dots. That's ironic because connecting the dots is
Bush's favorite game.
- Jay Leno
The White House keeps saying they went with the best intelligence
available - too bad the voters didn't.
- Jay Leno
The only option is the departure of the warmonger No. 1 in the world -
the failing President Bush who has made his country a joke in the
world.
- Iraqi Foreign Minister, Naji Sabri, when asked about Bush's
ultimatum for Saddam to leave Iraq.
Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon arrived in Washington Sunday night
to give President Bush a 91-page book proving that Yasser Arafat
funded terrorists. White House sources say that President Bush has the
book and is almost done coloring it.
- Tina Fey
There's Adam Clymer, major league asshole, from the New York Times.
- President Bush to Dick Cheney (overheard at a press conference)
According to the latest poll in the Washington Post, 63 percent of
Americans said that so far they approve of President Bush. Not
surprisingly, the other 37 percent are English teachers.
- Conan O'Brien
Yesterday, at the White House, in the middle of an interview,
President Bush jumped up out of his chair and started swatting at a
housefly. When asked about it, the White House spokesperson said,
'Hey, that's nothing. You should see him chase a tennis ball
- Conan O'Brien
We make fun of George W. Bush, but this morning he was at work bright
and early. Okay, he was early.
- Jay Leno
President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit.
Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the
president pulled out his baseball cards.
- Conan O'Brien
As President Bush so eloquently put it in his address to Congress:
'Mathematics are one of the fundamentaries of educationalizing our
youths.' I could not have said it better with a 10-foot pole.
- Dave Barry
I think that if you are the leader of planet Earth, you should be
smarter than me. You just get the feeling, don't you, in the Oval
Office that Dick Cheney is working behind the big desk. And then off
to the right there is a little collapsible card table where George has
like airplanes and stuff. Then every once in a while he looks up and
says, 'I've discovered that if I shut my eyes, I can disappear.
- Darrel Hammond
Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher
of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of the English language.
- Jay Leno
(The Weakest Link) is fascinating program. They ask a bunch of people
questions and they keep getting rid of the dumbest person, so just the
smartest person is left. It is kind of the opposite way we elect a
president.
- Jay Leno
On Monday, President Bush wrote a letter offering his condolences to
the wife of the missing Chinese fighter pilot. After Bush wrote the
letter, it was quickly given to experts and then translated. Then it
was translated into Chinese.
- Jimmy Fallon
The president has a lot of troubles these days. Everyone's getting mad
at him left and right. Atheist groups are getting more mad at him
because he's been using more and more references to Christianity in
his speeches. In fact it happened this morning, he said, 'Jesus, look
at all those big words.'
- Conan O'Brien
Next Monday, it's a special holiday devoted to the Bushes - One-Term
Presidents' Day.
- David Letterman
Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Not with Iraq.
With France and Germany. How did we screw that one up?
- Jay Leno, on Bush's foreign policy riffs
Several European countries are criticizing President Bush because
during his speech last night he didn't use the word Europe once. In
his defense the President said, 'I didn't use any words that begin
with the letter Y.
- Conan O'Brien
I read today that the president was interrupted 73 times by applause
and 75 times by really big words.
- Jay Leno
President Bush said for security reasons, he's sworn off all e-mail
communication. He will not be using email at the White House at all.
Is that a good idea? I mean, it's not like that speaking thing was
working out so good.
- Jay Leno
According to this week's Time magazine, President George Bush is a
serious fitness buff. He works out 60 to 90 minutes a day with
weights. Apparently he likes working out because it 'clears his mind.'
Sometimes it works a little too well.
- Jay Leno
Maybe it's knocked his syntax straight.
- Cokie Roberts, on Bush banging his head on the door while boarding
Marine One
Well, he got this new globe for Christmas.
- Bob Dole, dispelling rumors that George W. Bush lacks a grasp of
foreign affairs
Today George W. Bush went to Florida. It is the first time that he has
been there since the election, and he thanked all of the Florida
voters for being so stupid.
- David Letterman
Those stories about my intellectual capacity do get under my skin. You
know for a while I even thought my staff believed it. There on my
schedule first thing every morning it said, 'Intelligence briefing.'
- President Bush, on himself
Are you with the Chinese press? Your English is perfect. You speak
better English than I do.
- George W. Bush, to a Chinese reporter
Self-deprecation is a good move, whether you're trying to get a date
or run the country, because it's endearing and softens you and brings
in the pity factor. But with Bush, you still have the feeling that he
thinks he's the coolest guy in the frat.
- Michael Colton
Today George W. Bush went to Florida. It is the first time that he has
been there since the election, and he thanked all of the Florida
voters for being so stupid.
- David Letterman
President Bush's daughter Jenna bailed a boyfriend out of jail Sunday
after he was arrested at a TCU fraternity party for public
drunkenness. Her parents wept when they heard. It reminded them so
much of their first date.
- Comedian Argus Hamilton
Today President Bush ordered an investigation into whether it is
appropriate to have civilians with no experience running a Navy sub.
Hey, how about an investigation into whether it's appropriate to have
a civilian with no experience running the country?
- Jay Leno
George W. Bush is clearly the best thing to happen to political
humorists since - well, since Bill Clinton.
- Daniel Kurtzman
George W. Bush is like a bad comic working the crowd, a moron, if
you'll pardon the expression.
- Martin Sheen
The big story continues to be the shooting in the front of the White
House. They've been investigating this gunman, and it seems the only
time he has been in trouble was a traffic ticket in 1993. Basically,
this is the first time in history that the president has a worse
criminal record than the guy who was shooting at him.
- Jay Leno
Today the Secret Service said that at no time was President Bush ever
in danger. In fact they said Bush didn't even hear the gunfire because
he was sitting in his office popping bubble wrap all day.
- Jay Leno
They say that everyone in the White House was startled by the gunfire.
Here is my question: how can you tell when George Bush is startled?
Doesn't he always look that way?
- Jay Leno
Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause
unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from
scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was
going on, wouldn't you believe him?
- Jay Leno
If I wanted to see a bozo rant, make a fool of himself and try to
impose his 17th-century philosophy on others, I'd just watch The
O'Reilly Factor.
- Frank Fitzpatrick
Bush travels to Poland on Friday, where Polish people are fond of
making George W. Bush jokes.
- Craig Kilborn
President Bush is back from Europe. He said that when he looked into
the eyes of Vladimir Putin, he could see his soul. Wasn't this an old
President Clinton pick-up line?
- David Letterman
Hundreds of protestors participated in protests outside the NATO
meeting yesterday. The majority of the people were against Bush. It
doesn't bother him though. The last time the majority of the people
were against Bush he was elected president.
- Jay Leno
George W. Bush says that since he has been in the White House, he
prays every day. I'm thinking, 'Hell, same goes for us.'
- David Letterman
Actually, Bush says being in Europe isn't much of an adjustment for
him. In a lot of these countries they drink a lot and drive on the
other side of the road, just like he used to do.
- Jay Leno
Bozo the Clown is retiring after 40 years. Well, with Bush in office,
he can't really compete.
- Jay Leno
It was reported this week, that during a conversation with friends,
Bill Clinton complemented President Bush, calling him 'far shrewder
than many think' and a 'formidable politician.' Clinton then added,
'But remember, I'm a liar.'
- Tina Fey
George Bush attempted to taste the biscuit with his attention focused
on a football game - a combination of actions that, it appears, proved
difficult.
- Greek daily To Vima
When I see an American flag flying, it's a joke. This present
government in America I just find disgusting, the idea that George
Bush could run a baseball team successfully - he can't even speak! I
just find him an embarrassment. I'd be very happy to stay in London.
There's nothing in America that I would miss at all.
- Robert Altman
Mentally retarded are treated equally in Texas - some executed, some
elected.
- Don Wright
You've been a drunk, a thief, a possible felon, an unconvicted
deserter and a cry baby... for the sake of all that is decent and
sacred take leave immediately and bring some honor to your
all-important family name.
- Michael Moore
President Bush is leaving the White House for a vacation. He's taking
a month off. Yeah, take a break, you deserve it. But aides say that
while on vacation, Bush will continue to make two or three speeches a
week to make sure that the market keeps crashing.
- Jay Leno
In this fight for our cherished freedoms, those cherished freedoms
should definitely be the first thing to go. Sieg heil, y'all.
- Molly Ivins
Terrorism, unfortunately, is all too real. But so is one's terror of
the Bush presidency.
- Robert Kuttner
Today is Earth Day, or, as the Bush administration calls it, Monday.
- David Letterman
Bush is unusually incurious, abnormally unintelligent, amazingly
inarticulate, fantastically uncultured, extraordinarily uneducated,
and apparently quite proud of all these things.
- Christopher Hitchens
George W. Bush is emptiness personified, formed of vacuous phrases to
hide his life. He is a picture which the news media, blindfolded and
foolish, never broke open. He is being completely handled. He
delegates everything, including the fight for his political life. His
daddy's team is fending for him.
- Jane Prettyman
In the Clinton administration we worried the president would open his
zipper. In the Bush administration, they worry the president will open
his mouth.
- James Carville
The Bush operation reminds me of North Korea. You have a group of
insanely loyal, fiercely committed lunatics, devoting their lives to
slavish devotion of a moron whose only claim to power is that his
father used to run the country. George W. Bush is Kim Jong II with
better hair.
- Paul Begala
Al Gore says President Bush's economic plan has zero chance of
working. Now, this raises on important question: Bush has an economic
plan?
- David Letterman
The Stock Market was down today. Two major businesses declared
bankruptcy, consumer spending is at an all time low - in other words,
Bush is back on the job.
- Jay Leno
In a speech yesterday in Milwaukee, President Bush vowed to do
whatever it takes to keep the economy strong. In fact he said that if
he needs to, he will take vacation for another three months.
- Jay Leno
There's now speculation in Washington that President Bush is now
planning to increase the economic sanctions on Iraq. And let me tell
you if they are half as tough as the economic sanctions Bush has
imposed on this country, they are screwed.
- Jay Leno
Why is Junior so comfortable with being so ignorant?
- Paul Begala
You can just hear Jim Baker screaming at Austin : Just lock that idiot
kid up on the ranch somewhere, we'll tell him what to say and when to
say it. Every time he speaks, it looks like a damn hostage video Ollie
North smuggled out of Tehran and every time he's under stress, he
breaks out in a boil. He lost the election. We'll deliver him the
White House.
- Paul Begala
It's simply impossible to take junior seriously. Whether it's his
hostage-tape performances on television, his spurious and hypocritical
legal claims, or his thuggish political tactics, Bush has pursued
power in such a way as to prove himself unworthy of it.
- Paul Begala
Bush IS just like McDonald's : pre-packaged, filled with empty
calories and controlled by corporate interests.
- Paul Begala
This is a guy who could not find oil in Texas.
- Al Franken
What is his accomplishment? That he's no longer an obnoxious drunk?
- Ron Reagan Jr.
Calling George Bush shallow is like calling a dwarf short.
- Molly Ivins
Here's a guy who never really did anything without the help of Daddy's
contacts, the money from Daddy's friends, and now he's won, and he
looks more than slightly bewildered.
- David Nyhan
Thanks Dad; whaddo I do now?
- David Nyhan
George Bush is in Europe and the mission while he's there -- the
objective -- is to assure Europeans that he is competent. And I'm
thinking, 'Wait a minute. What about assuring us first?
- David Letterman
Today is 'take your daughter to work day'. President Bush took his
daughters to work and let them dismantle 12 environmental regulations
- David Letterman
Everybody is saying Condit knows more than he is saying. That's the
great thing about President Bush. With George W. Bush, you never have
to worry about that.
- David Letterman
President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the
hell does this guy wind?
- David Letterman
If George Bush was anymore retarded, he'd be on death row in Texas.
- Bill Maher
Did I mention that Bush is a lying bag of crap?
- Bill Maher
The SC has ruled out medical marijuana. First they installed Bush as
President. Now they are refusing any help to reduce the pain and
suffering of the public.
- Bill Maher
If George W. Bush is a reformer, I'm an astronaut!
- John McCain
President George W. Bush says he'll do whatever it takes to defend
Taiwan, but first he said he needs to find out just where the hell
Taiwan is! It's where most of his toys come from.
- Conan O' Brien
President Bush is in trouble. His approval rating has never been
lower. Bush says that he hasn't seen numbers this low since he took
his SATs.
- Conan O' Brien
Bush and company give the unfortunate impression of glee at the
thought of an economic downturn, as if it were a lucky break. It's
like a child hoping to be sick so he can take that yummy medicine.
- Mike Kinsley
I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the
Republicans were running the country, which is turning out to be like
shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache.
- Jack Mayberry
Everyone knows the man has no clue, but no one there has the courage
to say it. I mean, good gawd, the man is as he always has been :
barely adequate.
- Jon Stewart
Bush : "I ask you to pray for this country.
Jon Stewart : "We are way ahead of you, Mr. President."
- Jon Stewart
Bush is the kind of businessman that can create a multi-million dollar
company - just so long as someone gives him a multi-billion dollar
company.
- Brian Sweat
I'm not sure he really understands a lot of issues. He seems to be
given his lines by other people.
- Sting
This Monday President Bush will be celebrating his 100th day in
office. When asked about it, Bush said, 'Gosh, 100 days? Has it been a
year already?'
- Jay Leno
He seems to be an idiot.
- George Carlin
I have been disappointed in almost everything he has done.
- Jimmy Carter
Jenna Bush was caught trying to buy a drink in Austin with a fake ID.
It's her second alcohol incident in a month. She must be extra careful
from now on, because under federal law, it's Three Strikes and You're
President.
- Argus Hamilton
President Bush threw out the first pitch last night at the World
Series. He was wearing a firefighters jacket. Now think about this,
he's throwing out the first pitch, wearing a firefighters jacket, and
he's the president of the United States. He is living every
8-year-old's dream!
- Jay Leno
Bush was not elected president, but appointed and therefore why should
the US bitch about Cuba not holding free elections?
- Fidel Castro
President Bush was in South Dakota today. There was an awkward moment
at Mount Rushmore when President Bush said, "Hey, look, it's those
guys on the money!"
- Conan O'Brien