Sweet Homebirth Story - 1 Year Later (long)
mad...@cruzio.santa-cruz.ca.us
story, which I wrote a few weeks after the birth.
For background, her sister Morganne was born at home 4 years earlier.
My labor with Morganne was fun and painless, but she inhaled a blood clot
during birth. We decided to transport her to the hospital at 1 hour
postpartum when her extremities remained dusky. Her leg was burned in
the ambulance and she had to spend 10 days in the NICU at UCSF, where
she received a skin graft on her leg.
It was very healing for us to have a perfect homebirth with Matisse.
The Birth of Matisse Rainbow
9 November 1992
After my Blessing Way on October 11, I started having prodromal labor
like I'd had with Morganne. Contractions would start, intensify and then
die down. Unlike the first time, however, these contractions weren't
dilating me. When the contractions hit, I was spacey, nauseous and
enervated. When they ceased, I felt reasonably energetic. Throughout
the experience, I was restless and prowly. October passed and I got tired
of people asking me if I'd had the baby yet.
My original target due date was November 10, the Full Moon. My calendar
due date was November 17. I couldn't imagine staying pregnant that long!
We made it past Morganne's birthday and Halloween. I was seriously ready
for this baby to come. I had a strong feeling she'd come on a Monday
morning like her sister, but I dismissed the feeling.
Garry and I were watching the tides this time, since Morganne had come in
on a Full Moon and a spring tide. There was a big tide due at 8:40 on
November 9.
On Sunday, November 8, we went into Santa Cruz for dinner. We then went
to a bookstore. I found a funky little book called _The Moon Book_,
which had a section on the tides. Later that evening, I noticed that
it contained a moonrise map for Morganne's birthdate - 24 October 1988.
That was the only date in the book.
We went to bed with the almost-Full Moon shining through the oak tree
into our bedroom. At 1:30, I was dreaming that Morganne was explaining
to me that the tides were right and the baby was coming. I woke up
to a contraction. I got up, pretty sure that this was IT, but not
wanting to be too optimistic (in denial as the result of lots of false
alarms).
I tried to go back to sleep, but the contractions were five minutes
apart and wouldn't let me sleep. I labored along, tidying the house
and preparing for the birth. The contractions became increasingly
strong and close. At 3:00, I timed them at 1 - 2 minutes long and
2 - 5 minutes apart. They were strong enough to make me hold onto
the counter and breathe through them.
Every once in a while, I sat down in the rocking chair and relaxed
for a few contractions. They kept coming, as regular as clockwork.
I could tell I was still in early labor; with Morganne, I'd started
active labor at 7 centimeters. I didn't think this baby would beat
the Sentinel's posted high tide of 8:40.
I was having back labor, which didn't surprise me because back pain
had been a regular feature of the pregnancy. Also, I was having
aches down low in the front. This was already different from my
previous painless labor.
I needed to carry some triangle flares down to the road so the midwives
could find their way easily in the dark. I realized, however, that I was
too far into labor to handle our steep driveway, so I decided to wake
Garry about 4am.
Garry got up; we did a few last minute chores and settled down on the
living room carpet for some floor gymnastics. The labor got more intense
and I had a difficult time getting comfortable. The back pain was strong
and the achiness in front was very uncomfortable. I had a hard time
welcoming contractions at this point. I changed positions a lot during
and between contractions for the rest of the labor. Garry was supportive
and rubbed my back. What helped the most was to bellow. I think I really
needed to do all the squirming I was doing to get Matisse to come down.
I was longing for my water to break. I felt that a lot of my discomfort
was because I was laboring against the amniotic sac instead of the baby.
The contractions were very long and very close together. Some of them
were 3 to 5 minutes long and sometimes they came back to back with no
breaks. I didn't have time to recover between them. Morganne's birth
had shorter, more widely spaced contractions which were easier for me to
handle.
At 6:00, Garry called Kate (the midwife). Kate and Bari (the assistant)
arrived at 6:50. Our friend Nancy, who was coming over to take care of
Morganne, arrived at 7:15. By that time, the contractions were definitely
painful and it took a lot of concentration to keep myself together during
them. I was bellowing and groaning. Kate and Bari got set up. I still
had my sense of humor, though, and could talk and joke when the contractions
gave me a break. By now, I'd settled into an all-fours position with my
legs in a squat and I'd press my bottom down during contractions.
Bari told me she thought it would be fast. Kate asked if she could
check my dilation and I said she could if she could do it between
contractions. She got one finger in and I said, "You have about
10 seconds". After about 5 seconds though, another contraction
started and I moved away. I'd joked earlier that I didn't want
to know if I was only 3 centimeters and that's about where I was.
Kate couldn't tell for sure because I hadn't given her time to
complete the vaginal exam. The time was 7:10.
After I'd squirmed free of the vaginal exam and evaded the doptone a few
times, Kate and Bari thought I'd do better on my own, so they headed to the
kitchen to eat the breakfast I'd set out earlier. At 7:30, I had a very
intense contraction and I rose up on my heels and said, "God! Somebody
help me!" and then immediately thought, "What a stupid thing to say. No
one can help me. I've got to get myself together here.". Kate and Bari
came running, but by then I was back to riding the contractions out.
About that time, Morganne woke up. Nancy went in to her and they talked
about the baby coming. Morganne came out to the living room in the
middle of a contraction to find Mama roaring like a lion. After the
contraction, I told Morganne I was fine, just busy having the baby.
She said she wanted Mama or Daddy. Morganne climbed on Garry's lap
and stayed there for the rest of the birth. A few minutes later, she
was smiling.
Shortly after that, I started pushing. Kate said she didn't know whether I
was pushing the baby or the sac. It was the sac. I desperately wanted that
waterbag to break. I was set up with Chux and a dry towel to catch the
amniotic fluid. Kate went off to the bathroom to wash up.
At 7:57, I started a mammoth contraction. I was about 8 centimeters at the
beginning of it. I pushed, felt the bag pop (sweet relief) and couldn't stop
pushing. A gush of water came down and then I felt myself open 8 - 9 - 10
and felt the head come all the way down. I turned to Bari, who had been
encouraging me during the contractions, and I calmly said, "The head's on
the perineum.". Bari looked at me politely and nodded, clearly not
believing a word of it. But, being a sport, she went around and checked
anyway. Her eyes went wide and she called, "Kate! The head!". Nancy ran
to get Kate, who didn't believe it either.
I hated pushing (and with Morganne I had loved it), but I pushed, hard,
anyway. It was compulsive and intense. On the next push, I supported
my pubic arch until Kate took over. I thought I might tear because
the head was clearly coming very fast (Morganne had been on the
perineum for a long time - over an hour). The head popped out.
Matisse rotated right away and the mucus just pumped out of her.
She started crying then, with her head out and the rest of her still
in. I tried to push her body out, but it felt more difficult than
it was supposed to. Her hand was alongside her chin. Kate was trying
to hold the hand back so her elbow wouldn't tear me, but I didn't know
that. I was so annoyed that Kate was trying to push the baby back in
that I gave a tremendous push and out she came. It was 8:01 AM, Monday
9 November 1992. Matisse was crying. Garry caught her and, somehow,
I was soon sitting up holding my pink, screaming daughter. Kate tried to
suction her and she sucked the bulb syringe. I put her to the breast and she
latched on like a pro. She nursed straight for the next two hours and never
left my arms. Morganne was right there, watching her new sister with
excitement shining in her eyes.
I asked Kate and Bari to help me up on the couch and, shortly after,
delivered the placenta with only mechanical difficulties (the couch sloped
backwards, making pushing awkward). I bled very little. Kate gave me
some herb tea and, between the tea and the alfalfa supplements I'd been
taking, I was amazed at how little I'd bled - the lochia like a light period.
I bled much, much more with Morganne. Kate and I discussed a nick in my
labia and decided against stitches. (By my six week checkup, it had healed
fine.)
The crew helped me move into the woodstove room, which was warmer
than the living room. There I sat, nursing our new baby as the celebration
began.
Morganne opened her baby gifts, both from us and from Nancy. She kept
coming back to look at and touch her baby sister. Garry and Nancy focused
on Morganne. I sat back and watched it all while nursing Matisse, chatting
with the midwives and beaming out love to my husband and daughters.
Everyone kept saying how much Matisse looked like Morganne, but I was
amazed at how different she was. It felt strange to have a baby who wasn't
Morganne. The birth had been so different, she looked different, Matisse
was smaller and we were HOME, not rushing to the hospital.
We all speculated about the baby's weight. The midwives, who'd seen a lot
of 9 pounders recently, said "6.5", I said "7 - 7.5" and Garry and Nancy
agreed that she was "tiny". Kate did the newborn exam while the baby
nursed, but weight couldn't be done that way, so we waited. Matisse kept
on nursing and pooping meconium, so we just kept changing the receiving
blankets. She turned out to be 7 pounds, 4 ounces.
After two hours, Matisse fell asleep and went to spend most of the next hour
on her sister's lap. It was really special to watch Morganne with her new
sister. She accepted her, even possessed her, right from the start. This
was HER baby sister. For days, anytime I relinquished Matisse to Garry,
Morganne immediately asked to hold her. Garry would say, "Oh please, let
me hold her for a little while.", but usually gave in gracefully. He really
didn't get to do much baby-holding the first week.
I made my maiden bathroom voyage and had breakfast. Then the midwives
packed up (it was after 11) and Garry, Morganne and Nancy had breakfast
while I went back to bed with my tiny daughter. Morganne soon joined us
and popped in and out of bed. It was a sweet, sleepy, cuddly day and I felt
wonderful to be home with my peaceful, loving family. It felt just right to
have two little girls in our family.
Over the next few days, I treasured my alone time with each girl. My time
with Morganne was more special and my time alone with Matisse was very
precious. I also felt like the center of love when I was with both girls;
nursing Matisse and reading to, playing with or talking with Morganne.
Together, Morganne and I held and changed her new sister.
Our only sibling difficulties were at night when Morganne wanted cuddle
time with Mama. At first, we weren't sure how to handle this, but usually it
worked for Garry and me to switch sides of the bed until Mati woke up to
nurse or for Garry to walk Mati while I cuddled with Morganne. During the
day, Morganne was usually very accepting of Matisse's needs.
We weren't sure about Matisse's name, but, when nothing had magically
come to mind by the evening of the second day (and Morganne continued to
call the baby Matisse), we decided that her name must be Matisse Rainbow
after all. Within a day, she was usually called Mati or Mati Mouse. The
next several days brought Matisserie, Mouseling, Mousefeathers, Mati
Matisse and the Mouse Who Roared. And then Snert (for which my
grandmother threatened to call CPS on us).
Mati nursed avidly the first several days and slept well. On the third day,
she slept a lot, nursed little and peed not at all. I watched her carefully,
a little concerned because of the 6 - 8 wet diapers a day maxim, but trusted
Mati and her process. (I put on my breastfeeding counselor hat and checked
her for dehydration and jaundice, but she looked healthy and pink and
plump as a rose). I could feel my milk coming, building up little by little.
At about 10:30 Wednesday night, Matisse nursed on one side and I
expressed a little milk out of each breast to rub on the nipples to help
prevent soreness. My left breast had bluish, mature milk but my right still
had only colostrum. It felt magical to be able to see the change that way.
Initially, Matisse only nursed on one breast per feeding (another violation of
"nursing rules"). She later worked her way to taking both breasts, but
sometimes was content with just one.
The afternoon I was waiting for my milk to come in, I talked to Kate and to
Dr. Belom. I mentioned Mati's sleepiness and the lack of wet diapers and
told them I was watching, but not anxious because I could feel my milk
coming in and my intuition told me that Matisse was resting up for full
breasts. Both seemed a little concerned and Dr. Belom said I could give her
water if I wanted to. I'd just read an article about the futility of water
supplementation (besides my inborn suspicion of any extras during early
breastfeeding). My intuition proved correct; my milk came in; Matisse
nursed more frequently and we had enough wet and poopy diapers by
morning to ease the most nervous mother's mind.
I had forgotten about the bliss that can happen during the Milk Moon. I
walked around with breasts leaking milk, dripping love and joy everywhere
I went. I doused Matisse in love, sprayed Morganne and Garry with it and
dribbled love over diapers, nightgowns, T shirts and blankets. As the
leaking became less awesome, the love too moved back into accustomed
channels, not quite so bountiful.
Trust was my big lesson during this pregnancy, birth and postpartum. I
have had to trust the process, my body, my child and give up control of the
birth.
Matisse's birth and postpartum were so perfect for us that I'm constantly
comparing it to Morganne's. Having our baby at home felt so right. It's
good for the older sibling, sweet for the baby and relaxing for the parents.
Matisse and I stayed home for her first week. We didn't have to go in the
car or subject her to anything gross (like they do in the hospital). She
was able to spend almost all of her time in the arms of her loving family.
I'm really glad she was able to nurse for two hours after birth rather
than being taken away from me and traumatized. We declined most of the
interventions offered us (eyedrops, vitamin K, newborn screening, heel
pokes, etc.). Kate was respectful of Matisse's need to nurse and didn't
interrupt her.
I believe really strongly that newborns shouldn't be separated from their
mothers EXCEPT for very short periods in dire emergencies. And that
neonatal treatment ought to include mom (sleeping near baby with food and
linen service and showers). Both mom and baby benefit from being treated
as a unit, rather than individuals. The parents' (and especially mom's)
care is the best medicine for sick babies.
I don't think I knew how awful and how terribly unnatural our first
postpartum was until after Matisse was here and I saw how sweet the
postpartum period could be. I feel guilty sometimes when I think of how
things went with Morganne. Did I do something wrong during pregnancy
or labor? What could I have done differently?
Matisse slept well. She cried very little and was easily comforted when we
picked her up. She was a patient baby. She seemed to know that we were going
to take care of her needs and she usually didn't fuss when she wanted to nurse
or when we changed her. When she wanted to nurse, she snerted and opened
her mouth wide, turning her head to the side. She opened her mouth nice and
wide and latched on well. If the latch on wasn't right, she dropped the
nipple. (A part of the Nursing Mothers' Counsel party line I'd never 100%
believed was that getting the latch on right will prevent sore nipples. But
Mati proved to me that, indeed, it's true. Sore nipples aren't a necessary
part of nursing a new baby.)
When she finished nursing, she turned her head and pushed the nipple out. She
didn't like to nurse to sleep, but would fuss a bit unless we rocked or walked
her to sleep. She then dropped off quickly. When she had a bubble or needed
to poop, she would fuss a bit until we held her upright. She was fussiest
when she was gassy, but her fussiest wasn't very fussy at all.
Matisse's birth was very healing for all of us.
--
Heather Madrone
(mad...@cruzio.santa-cruz.ca.us or ..netcom!cruzio!madrone)
Peggy Brown
>I can't believe Matisse' first birthday is already here. This is her birth
>story, which I wrote a few weeks after the birth.
beautiful story deleted....
>I had forgotten about the bliss that can happen during the Milk Moon. I
>walked around with breasts leaking milk, dripping love and joy everywhere
>I went. I doused Matisse in love, sprayed Morganne and Garry with it and
>dribbled love over diapers, nightgowns, T shirts and blankets. As the
>leaking became less awesome, the love too moved back into accustomed
>channels, not quite so bountiful.
What is this about the milkmoon? I never heard that expression
before. What a beautiful way of seeing the time when the milk
first comes in (instead of the usual whining about engorgement).
>--
>Heather Madrone
>(mad...@cruzio.santa-cruz.ca.us or ..netcom!cruzio!madrone)
- Peggy -
Alison Wyld - SunConnect ICNC
start contractions ?
Alison
mad...@cruzio.santa-cruz.ca.us
> before. What a beautiful way of seeing the time when the milk
> first comes in (instead of the usual whining about engorgement).
Confession time.
Well, ahem, the Milk Moon is my own twist on the term "baby moon";
the new baby honeymoon. (Well, it ought to be called the Milk Moon,
anyway).
mad...@cruzio.santa-cruz.ca.us
> I thought this was wonderful ! But what is a Blessing Way, and how did it help
> start contractions ?
A Blessing Way is a ritual for the expectant mother. It is based on a Hopi
tradition. A Blessing Way is a gathering of women who get together, tell
birth stories, give the expectant mother emotional support and pamper her
a bit (brush her hair, wash her feet, massage her).
I don't think the Blessing Way started contractions, though. I'm just one
of the lucky ones who has lots of false labor during the last month.