The Difficult Child
Theresa Buchman
I am in need of some help (and possibly a shoulder to cry on) with
my 3 1/2 year old son. I believe that this kid is probably going to
wind up going to college in diapers at the rate his "training" is
going. Is there anybody else out there who has had extreme trouble
with helping their child become trained?
Current Symptoms: He will go to the toilet and sit there and read
books and look around and talk to himself and not do the business at
hand. As soon as he gets off the pot he pees. I have tried talking
to him, time-outs, doll therapy, etc and at at my wits end. It is
like he just doesn't understand or want to understand what it is he
is suppoed to be doing in the bathroom, and I am at a loss where to go
from here.
Can anybody recommend some ideas to try, books to read, etc. Any help
would be most appreciated.
Thanks!
Terri
buc...@osf.org
Guri Verne
> I am in need of some help (and possibly a shoulder to cry on) with
> my 3 1/2 year old son. I believe that this kid is probably going to
> wind up going to college in diapers at the rate his "training" is
> going.
he
> is suppoed to be doing in the bathroom,
I guess he knows what he is supposed to do there! But for some reason he
does not want to cooperate.
I felt like this with Aksel for a long time. Suddenly, one day when he was
almost 3 1/2, he was cooperative and dry! Two factors seemed important
for him:
- He did not get "cooperative" before he was sufficiently in control to
have a very low failure rate.
- He was big enough to use the grown-up toilet like adult men.
I also think his father was an important role model. Aksel was suddenly
dry when he returned from a week with his father.
He became dry at night two months later by his own decision.
So perhaps try not to fuss about it, and wait until he feels ready. It
might help him if he can wear clothes he can take off himself so he does not have to feel dependent on you (this might depend on the climate where you
live).
Good luck to both of you!
- Guri
-----------------------------------------
Guri Verne
Department of Mathematics
University of Oslo
P.o. Box 1053 Blindern
N-0316 OSLO 3
NORWAY guv...@math.uio.no
-----------------------------------------
Salit Levy Gazit
>$ Have you tried the example method? Have Daddy say, come on, lets go to the
>$ bathroom. Then let the kid follow him in and watch the whole process from
>$ beginning to end. Maybe he will then get the idea.
My 28 month old son has taken to following mommy instead, and insisting that
I also sit down whenever he does. Oh well, I am sure he will eventually
learn to do it "boys' way". I'd much rather he mastered potty training in
*any* way...
>She'll be two on Dec 6, so she's not old enough for potty training, but
>she is moving towards it.
I have known 2 year old who use the potty fairly well, especially girls.
If she is so interested, you may get her her own potty and show her how
to use it.
> The thing I do which is a
>little hard but necessary is to let her see my "poop" in the toilet
>before I flush. She sees it's like hers. Then I flush and we say
>bye-bye.
Yeh, I also had to learn to do this. I let my son flush the toilet himself.
He loves it, especially when the contents are his.
>This is like what transpires in the book "Once Upon a Potty," a book I
>highly recommend. There is an edition for each sex.
Yes, I like the book very much. I have the original Hebrew version.
Incidentally the last page (where they flush the toilet and Joshua
(Naftali in the Hebrew version) says Bye Bye) was not translated completely
into English. In the original version, after the boy says "bye bye pee!
Bye bye poop!", the mother then adds "See you in the sea"...
That's a popular Israeli saying that reflects the sewage problems in the
country. :-)
> Tom Reingold
Salit
sa...@cs.duke.edu
Tom Reingold
sbi...@desire.wright.edu writes:
$ [...]
$ Have you tried the example method? Have Daddy say, come on, lets go to the
$ bathroom. Then let the kid follow him in and watch the whole process from
$ beginning to end. Maybe he will then get the idea.
This leads me to a question. Do other parents do this? I do. I want
Madeleine to get the idea solid in her head what using the toilet is.
She'll be two on Dec 6, so she's not old enough for potty training, but
she is moving towards it.
I used to care a lot about privacy when using the toilet. I didn't
like my wife to talk to me through the bathroom door and I got upset if
she didn't close the door when she used the toilet. Things have
trained drastically since Madeleine came along. I don't pee standing
up with her around. For one thing, I don't want her to do it, and for
another thing, I feel vulnerable doing it. The thing I do which is a
little hard but necessary is to let her see my "poop" in the toilet
before I flush. She sees it's like hers. Then I flush and we say
bye-bye.
This is like what transpires in the book "Once Upon a Potty," a book I
highly recommend. There is an edition for each sex.
--
Tom Reingold
t...@samadams.princeton.edu OR ...!princeton!samadams!tr
"Warning: Do not drive with Auto-Shade in place. Remove
from windshield before starting ignition."
James D Moore
>>
>
>Have you tried the example method? Have Daddy say, come on, lets go to the
Or the other one I have heard of is that Dad and son go to the bathroom with
pitcher of water and two glasses (the two glasses are important). Both drink
plenty of the water and the father demonstrates and the son eventualy will
follow. This was recomended by our pediatrician. We never had the problem
since my son thought is was great fun the first time he did it. Hope our
second son picks up as fast.
Jim
--
James D. Moore jmo...@ecn.purdue.edu
Computer Engineer Phone:(317) 494-2686
Purdue University, Industrial Engr. Dept., W. Lafayette, In 47907