I am in need of some help (and possibly a shoulder to cry on) with my 3 1/2 year old son. I believe that this kid is probably going to wind up going to college in diapers at the rate his "training" is going. Is there anybody else out there who has had extreme trouble with helping their child become trained?
Current Symptoms: He will go to the toilet and sit there and read books and look around and talk to himself and not do the business at hand. As soon as he gets off the pot he pees. I have tried talking to him, time-outs, doll therapy, etc and at at my wits end. It is like he just doesn't understand or want to understand what it is he is suppoed to be doing in the bathroom, and I am at a loss where to go from here.
Can anybody recommend some ideas to try, books to read, etc. Any help would be most appreciated.
Theresa Buchman writes: > I am in need of some help (and possibly a shoulder to cry on) with > my 3 1/2 year old son. I believe that this kid is probably going to > wind up going to college in diapers at the rate his "training" is > going. ... > It is like he just doesn't understand or want to understand what it is he > is suppoed to be doing in the bathroom,
I guess he knows what he is supposed to do there! But for some reason he does not want to cooperate. I felt like this with Aksel for a long time. Suddenly, one day when he was almost 3 1/2, he was cooperative and dry! Two factors seemed important for him: - He did not get "cooperative" before he was sufficiently in control to have a very low failure rate. - He was big enough to use the grown-up toilet like adult men.
I also think his father was an important role model. Aksel was suddenly dry when he returned from a week with his father.
He became dry at night two months later by his own decision.
So perhaps try not to fuss about it, and wait until he feels ready. It might help him if he can wear clothes he can take off himself so he does not have to feel dependent on you (this might depend on the climate where you live).
Good luck to both of you!
- Guri
----------------------------------------- Guri Verne Department of Mathematics University of Oslo P.o. Box 1053 Blindern N-0316 OSLO 3 NORWAY guve...@math.uio.no -----------------------------------------
In article <4...@rossignol.Princeton.EDU> t...@samadams.princeton.edu (Tom Reingold) writes: >$ Have you tried the example method? Have Daddy say, come on, lets go to the >$ bathroom. Then let the kid follow him in and watch the whole process from >$ beginning to end. Maybe he will then get the idea.
My 28 month old son has taken to following mommy instead, and insisting that I also sit down whenever he does. Oh well, I am sure he will eventually learn to do it "boys' way". I'd much rather he mastered potty training in *any* way...
>She'll be two on Dec 6, so she's not old enough for potty training, but >she is moving towards it.
I have known 2 year old who use the potty fairly well, especially girls. If she is so interested, you may get her her own potty and show her how to use it.
> The thing I do which is a >little hard but necessary is to let her see my "poop" in the toilet >before I flush. She sees it's like hers. Then I flush and we say >bye-bye.
Yeh, I also had to learn to do this. I let my son flush the toilet himself. He loves it, especially when the contents are his.
>This is like what transpires in the book "Once Upon a Potty," a book I >highly recommend. There is an edition for each sex.
Yes, I like the book very much. I have the original Hebrew version. Incidentally the last page (where they flush the toilet and Joshua (Naftali in the Hebrew version) says Bye Bye) was not translated completely into English. In the original version, after the boy says "bye bye pee! Bye bye poop!", the mother then adds "See you in the sea"... That's a popular Israeli saying that reflects the sewage problems in the country. :-)
$ [...] $ Have you tried the example method? Have Daddy say, come on, lets go to the $ bathroom. Then let the kid follow him in and watch the whole process from $ beginning to end. Maybe he will then get the idea.
This leads me to a question. Do other parents do this? I do. I want Madeleine to get the idea solid in her head what using the toilet is. She'll be two on Dec 6, so she's not old enough for potty training, but she is moving towards it.
I used to care a lot about privacy when using the toilet. I didn't like my wife to talk to me through the bathroom door and I got upset if she didn't close the door when she used the toilet. Things have trained drastically since Madeleine came along. I don't pee standing up with her around. For one thing, I don't want her to do it, and for another thing, I feel vulnerable doing it. The thing I do which is a little hard but necessary is to let her see my "poop" in the toilet before I flush. She sees it's like hers. Then I flush and we say bye-bye.
This is like what transpires in the book "Once Upon a Potty," a book I highly recommend. There is an edition for each sex. -- Tom Reingold t...@samadams.princeton.edu OR ...!princeton!samadams!tr "Warning: Do not drive with Auto-Shade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition."
>Have you tried the example method? Have Daddy say, come on, lets go to the >bathroom. Then let the kid follow him in and watch the whole process from >beginning to end. Maybe he will then get the idea.
Or the other one I have heard of is that Dad and son go to the bathroom with pitcher of water and two glasses (the two glasses are important). Both drink plenty of the water and the father demonstrates and the son eventualy will follow. This was recomended by our pediatrician. We never had the problem since my son thought is was great fun the first time he did it. Hope our second son picks up as fast.
Jim
-- James D. Moore jmo...@ecn.purdue.edu Computer Engineer Phone:(317) 494-2686 Purdue University, Industrial Engr. Dept., W. Lafayette, In 47907
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