Help! 6yo thumb-sucker
Penny M. Ginn
how to get a copy of the misc.kids FAQ (I've seen it posted, but
it's gone now). If I need to send mail to someone to get the FAQ,
please be explicit with instructions. I'm pretty new to this. :-)
My 6-year-old daughter still sucks her thumb. It has definitely
affected her teeth - they gap (the top & bottom ones) about 1/4 inch
from each other. Every time she goes to the dentist, he says she
really needs to stop (even at a new dentist this time).
She says she wants to stop, but whenever we remind her that her
thumb is in her mouth again, she usually whines & cries. She
has her favorite animal, O.J., and says O.J. makes her suck her
thumb (she rubs his satin ear while she sucks her thumb). She
has talked about hiding him, or putting him away, so she can
stop; but when it comes down to it, she can't give him up.
My question is: Should we physically force her to stop? We need
to for the sake of her teeth, but it's going to be pretty
traumatic. What's the best way? I'll go in during the night when
she's asleep sometimes and pull her thumb out (sometimes there's
so much suction I can't get it out), but it will wind up back in
her mouth very shortly.
Some of the options I'm aware of are to use Thumbs-It (a nasty-
tasting liquid you paint on the thumb), or some sort of wire
attachment that goes in her mouth. The dentist talked some about
these wire things (they're called cribs, I think). They make them
either permanent, or removable. The problem with removable is that
Ashley can take it out during the night and suck her thumb anyway.
Ashley has said each year "when I'm 5 I'll stop sucking my thumb ..."
and "when I'm 6 ..." and now "when I'm 7 ..." I thought maybe the
peer pressure at kindergarten would help her quit, but it has had
no effect. It doesn't help that her 9-year-old cousin, whom she
looks up to a lot, still sucks her thumb occasionally.
Thanks for any help you can give!
Penny Ginn - mom to Heather and Ashley (03/16/87)
(Heather has never sucked her thumb, except when she's trying to
fool us into thinking she's Ashley :-))
David Kassover
>
>My 6-year-old daughter still sucks her thumb. It has definitely
>affected her teeth - they gap (the top & bottom ones) about 1/4 inch
>from each other. Every time she goes to the dentist, he says she
>really needs to stop (even at a new dentist this time).
>
>My question is: Should we physically force her to stop? We need
>to for the sake of her teeth, but it's going to be pretty
>traumatic. What's the best way? I'll go in during the night when
>she's asleep sometimes and pull her thumb out (sometimes there's
>so much suction I can't get it out), but it will wind up back in
>her mouth very shortly.
"Orthodontia is cheaper than Therapy"
Dr. J. Brown
--
David Kassover "Proper technique helps protect you against
RPI BSEE '77 MSCSE '81 sharp weapons and dull judges."
kass...@aule-tek.com F. Collins
kass...@ra.crd.ge.com
Carol Conell
is conspicuous, "babyish," widely criticized on grounds that it will distort
teeth/push forward, etc.
On the other hand, thumbsucking is clearly also an example of something
that differs a lot from kid to kid--i.e., some never have a taste for it--
like you I have 1 nonsucker/we actually tried without success to promote it
as a comfort habit for about 6 months, and 1 hardcore sucker--mine just
turned 5 and shows no signs of giving it up.
At this point I want to move from the realm of fact to the realm of philosophy.
My current stance is that, although I'd like my daughter to suck less--
especially
since it seems so filthy
when she's digging in the garden/at the zoo or whatever
and then puts the old thumb in, I believe I should in fact protect her right
to this mildly deviant but fundamentally not that terrible habit.
Why:
1) In my daughter's case I think it continues to supply real comfort/
stability in a world in which she is after all both because of her internal
development and because of outside pressures often forced to act more
grown up than she has in the past/to work hard to solve problems etc.
Compared to throwing tantrums, using violence, etc. etc. which some kids do
it doesn't seem that terrible.
2) I believe strongly in the developmental approach:
i.e., respect people's differences and the different trajectories of their
growth. And I'm convinced that in many ways our society presses for everyone to
"act as grown up" as possible as soon as possible, i.e., read as soon as they
can be taught to do so rther than when they as individuals get to the point
where it's natural, etc, and that this makes it natural for dentists etc. to
push for an end to baby habits.
3) I distrust the dental arguments on several grounds.
a) Some dentists think its damaging at 5, some at 6, some at 7, etc.--
but in any case if necessary a retainer or whatever can be used to fix the displacement
and the cost/discomfort of this may well be minimal relative to the cost/
discomfort of premature/forced weaning from sucking.
b) Professional education both
deemphasizes wholistic vs narrow problem oriented
views of the individual, i.e., possible damage to bite is viewed clearly and
costs in individual satisfaction radically deemphasized and
b*) Leads to taking definite positions/espousing them when evidence may be
shaky at best.
4) My older daughter had a thumbsucking friend who sucked quite a lot through
6 or 7
but now they're 9 is gradually losing the habit--and doesn't seem to have
suffered terribly from sucking. i.e., in at least 1 case standing by them and
waiting seems to have been a good solution.
5) A recent visit to one of my daughters' friends' houses revealed
what I had never realized --that that child used a pacifier at home
--
This suggests that concealed sucking might be more common than many of
us realize and also suggests an intermediate possible approach, which we're
considering--working to move the thumbsucking into a cleaner/more private
venue.
--
I would love to hear from other people whose children
sucked either a thumb or a pacifier to 5 or later and how they dealt with
it.--Carol
--
Carol Conell; Sociology; Reed College; Portland, OR 97202 (503) 771-1112
Peggy Fieland
My six-year old still sucks his thumb at times, mostly when he is tired
or stressed out. He also still has a "blanked".
We're leaving it alone - for now, he seems to need the comfort of
sucking his thumb.
Peggy
Vicki Erhart
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Path: schbbs!mothost!ftpbox!news.acns.nwu.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!caen!sol
From: pmg...@hubcap.clemson.edu (Penny M. Ginn)
Subject: Help! 6yo thumb-sucker
Message-ID: <1993Apr19.1...@hubcap.clemson.edu>
Organization: Clemson University
Distribution: misc
Date: Mon, 19 Apr 1993 15:52:21 GMT
Lines: 42
Before I start: there may be a FAQ on this, but I can't figure out
how to get a copy of the misc.kids FAQ (I've seen it posted, but
it's gone now). If I need to send mail to someone to get the FAQ,
please be explicit with instructions. I'm pretty new to this. :-)
My 6-year-old daughter still sucks her thumb. It has definitely
affected her teeth - they gap (the top & bottom ones) about 1/4 inch
from each other. Every time she goes to the dentist, he says she
really needs to stop (even at a new dentist this time).
This is my first try at posting, but this one really hit home! My (now
nine year old) stepdaughter was also a compulsive thumb sucker, and she
also indicated that she really wanted to stop. Unfortunately, her father
and I would remind her to shop, and her mother never said anything. To
make a long story short, we used the stuff you put on their thumbs
(actually, I think it may have been nail biting stuff) and it worked in
ONE day!! We used it for three or four days, just to be sure, but after
one application, she never put her thumb in her mouth again. We did this
when she was in first grade (around the same age as your daughter).
Hope this helps!
Vicki, stepmom to Heather (10), Jessica (9), Matt (7), and Andrea (5)
Pippa Hennessy
was about 13, my parents made half-hearted attempts to stop him
without any success at all. He says he still sucks his thumb in bed
before going to sleep (he's 25!). He has no problems with his teeth,
but a very wrinkly thumb.
My son (7 months) refused to take a dummy once he discovered how to
get his thumb into his mouth, but before that would only go to sleep
with something to suck on..... I detect a family trend here.
I agree with a previous poster - let them suck if they want to.
Although I was never a thumb sucker I do remember sucking my thumb at
particularly stressful times and deriving great comfort from it (don't
know why).
Hope this helps - just a data point really with an opinion added to
make up the weight.
Pippa
p.hen...@nexor.co.uk - Simon's mummy
Jarom Hagen
he was born (I have a picture to prove it). He finally stopped when he
was almost 7. We didn't use any nasty tasting stuff to get him to stop.
We just asked him not to suck his thumb and I would show him the
difference between the skin on his thumb-sucking thumb and the skin
on the other thumb. (The thumb he sucked on was always scally from
all the sucking).
I don't know if it affected his teeth, but it doesn't seem to have. I
sucked my thumb for about 5 years and I think it did affect my teeth.
Braces fixed it.
Jarom
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Not paid for and/or endorsed by NPRI. 602 Cameron St, Alexandria VA 22314
(UUCP: ...uunet!uupsi!npri6!jhagen) (Internet: jha...@npri.com)
Pat Churchill
was starting to look odd. One day one of Dad's friends visited the
house and Lynne happened to notice he was missing the first two joints
on his index finger. Later on she asked Dad what happened to Uncle
Roy's finger. Quick as a wink Dad said *He used to suck it and one
day it fell off.* Her finger never went in her mouth again.
Maybe not the short of thing today's psychologists would sanction
(that was in the 1950s), but it sure worked :-)
--
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The floggings will continue until morale improves
pch...@swell.actrix.gen.nz Pat Churchill, Wellington New Zealand
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Susan M. Mitrevski
mouth every time he needs comfort or when he is relaxing. I don't think he
actually sucks on it any more but it is in there. Every time he goes in for a
checkup our dentist suggests putting the "thing" in his mouth. I say no way. He obviously needs the comfort right now and even if it is bad for his teeth I
refuse to deny him that comfort. Life is too hard to obsess over something so
trivial.
susan
Anita Graham
> My sister used a chronic finger sucker. So much so her index finger
> was starting to look odd. One day one of Dad's friends visited the
> house and Lynne happened to notice he was missing the first two joints
> on his index finger. Later on she asked Dad what happened to Uncle
> Roy's finger. Quick as a wink Dad said *He used to suck it and one
> day it fell off.* Her finger never went in her mouth again.
>
are missing bits of their thumbs and fingers (I think Dad has a total of
3 bits missing). When they told Rose that they had sucked their thumbs off
she ran screaming from the yard. She doesn't suck her thumb anymore - she is
over 30 now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anita Graham
an...@mincom.oz.au
Karen Guthrie
Well I chewed my fingernails and my dad tried to tell me at about 6 yo that
the statue of venus di milo did too. You know the one with only upper arms
left. All I said was "Daddy!" he did not fool me for a minute. On the
thumb all it will take is one of the kids at school to call him a baby and
it will be all over.
Karen
rew...@stsci.edu
Speaking as a former thumb-sucker....
My parents and their friends tried all sorts of things to make me quit
sucking my thumb. (I learned to LIKE hot pepper!) As it happened, my
teeth stuck out, and everyone told me my teeth were like that because of
thumb-sucking. Well, I tried to stop, and was miserable because I couldn't.
Eventually I did quit in second grade.
My teeth stuck out, and everyone was doing the "I told you so" thing. Parents
liked to have me around as an example to their thumb-sucking kids of what
horrors lay in store for them, if they didn't quit. All the kids in my grade
made fun of "Bucky", the bullies threatened to "straighten them out for me".
I had poor self esteem, I felt like a failure and was marked for life because
I couldn't stop sucking my thumb. My parents couldn't afford to fix them.
I felt like everyone was looking at me and whispering.
Flash forward to when I was 30 years old. I started having problems with
my bite - the lower front teeth never met the uppers, and had started to dent
the roof of my mouth. By this time, I had money, and went to the orthodontist.
I finally realised that my teeth were not just a cosmetic issue, but a
functional one. As the orthodontist was looking at my x-rays, I confessed to
having sucked my thumb into second grade. He said, "So? That has nothing to
do with your problem. Your upper teeth do NOT stick out, your lower jaw is
undeveloped." I got out some old baby pictures, and way back at 18 mos, in
a profile shot, you could see my chin didn't come out as far as it should.
I am really aggravated that I spent most of my 30 years in shame for
thumb-sucking! And people trying to "cure" me affected my personality
tremendously. (By the way, the orthodontics and surgery went very well,
and now I don't inspire fear in little kids acting naturally.)
I guess my point is not to make your kid feel like a failure if s/he can't
stop sucking thumbs or fingers. Bad bites happen whether or not they suck
on things. Lying to kids about missing fingers sort of undermines respect,
too.
(I could give other examples, but this has gotten far longer
than I meant.)
Just another perspective.........Rosalie
scott douglass
month-old (what? how could my baby be so big??) sucks her thumb for
comfort when sleeping and waking up. I noticed just today that her
thumb is all red and irritated. It's all dry and cracked and looks
really painful, although she doesn't say anything when she tries to
suck it. I want to help it get better, but I don't want to put
anything on it that would taste bad or be bad for her. Is this
common with thumbsuckers? Is there anything to do? Will it get worse?
My sons never sucked anything -- they just screamed a lot. We were
so glad when Anna learned to suck her thumb.
-- maggie
--
--scott douglass
Any opinions above may be mine and are not necessarily those of Apple Computer.
domain: sc...@apple.com UUCP: {nsc, sun, voder, well, dual}!apple!scott
CSNet: sc...@Apple.CSNet AppleLink: Douglass1
Jan Yarnot
in her mouth, (she was asleep at the time!) I'm glad one orthodontist at least
doesn't think this is a problem... I know Monica had a callus on her thumb for
many years (MY orthodontist taught me not to rest my chin in my hands while I
was reading because it would knock my teeth out of alignment, he said.) Anyway,
from the vast perspective of a quarter-century later, I would much rather her
thumb found her mouth in the night than that she smoked....
--
---Jan Yarnot, net.grandma.-- | ...shady ladies must take their
| chances that a single taper can
| morbidly handle a balding pate.
CSUS depends on my every word.| -- Dilys Winn
Adana Davis
> In article <1993Apr27....@devvax.mincom.oz.au>, an...@devvax.mincom.oz.au (Anita Gra > Speaking as a former thumb-sucker....
> My parents and their friends tried all sorts of things to make me quit
> sucking my thumb. (I learned to LIKE hot pepper!) As it happened, my
> teeth stuck out, and everyone told me my teeth were like that because of
> thumb-sucking. Well, I tried to stop, and was miserable because I couldn't.
> Eventually I did quit in second grade.
(Much deleted)
My mother sucked her thumb until she was nine years old. Her family
chastised/belittled/denigrated her so badly that she became very ashamed of
it and would only suck her thumb when she was sure no one was looking. Her
teeth are perfectly straight (it was her self-esteem that was damaged). I
am now the parent of an almost-five-year-old thumbsucker with a slight
overbite. However, her teeth came in that way (at about six months) and she
didn't really start sucking her thumb until she was almost 1 yo. The
orthodontist said that I shouldn't worry about her thumbsucking too much
because most children stop when they start school. My daughter is in day
care/preschool and doesn't suck her thumb much there. Mostly it's just when
she's tired or bored. Strangers in grocery stores will come up to us and
say things like "Keep sucking that thumb and it will fall off" or "You're
such a big girl to suck your thumb" which _really_ irritates me. If I don't
have a problem with her thumbsucking who are they to chastise her??!! If
she finds thumbsucking comforting then I say go for it!
Adana
Parent to Tiffany (6-5-88) and ? (8-3-93)
Cherie Machler
|>
|> > In article <1993Apr27....@devvax.mincom.oz.au>, an...@devvax.mincom.oz.au (Anita Gra > Speaking as a former thumb-sucker....
|> > My parents and their friends tried all sorts of things to make me quit
|> > sucking my thumb. (I learned to LIKE hot pepper!) As it happened, my
|> > teeth stuck out, and everyone told me my teeth were like that because of
|> > thumb-sucking. Well, I tried to stop, and was miserable because I couldn't.
|> > Eventually I did quit in second grade.
|>
|> (Much deleted)
|>
|> My mother sucked her thumb until she was nine years old. Her family
|> chastised/belittled/denigrated her so badly that she became very ashamed of
( stuff deleted )
|> say things like "Keep sucking that thumb and it will fall off" or "You're
|> such a big girl to suck your thumb" which _really_ irritates me. If I don't
|> have a problem with her thumbsucking who are they to chastise her??!! If
|> she finds thumbsucking comforting then I say go for it!
A couple of years ago my in-laws were all at a get-together (my wedding
shower). There was a four year old cousin there with her pacifier in
her pocket. She uses it in time of stress of exhaustion. She snuck
it occassionally during the day with her hand covering her mouth
(she knew it was in disfavor). She is an outgoing and vivacious girl
in general and the family pet (youngest cousin by fair). When they
realized she was still using her pacifier my mother and father in law
shamed her terribly. They kept going on and on. I felt awful for
her and for her mother. They both just took it and didn't fight back.
I was tempted to say something but being new to the family just
bit my tongue. I spoke with the mother about it afterwards and she
said that she was really insecure about her parenting habits with
her first child (they were different from the in-laws) but with her
second child she felt strong in her convictions and just ignored
all of their talk. Still, I felt it was hard to take. If anyone
shamed and humiliated my daughter like that I know I would bite
their head right off. My daughter is a very strong sucker and seems
to need to suck a lot and at six and a half months is already pretty
dependent on her pacifier. I've already had some run-ins with my
mother-in-law about it and I'm sure it's only going to get worse
as my MIL has very strong opinions and they're not the same as ours.
Cherie Machler
Mother of Erika - 6.5 months and loves that pacifier
Anita Graham
>
>> My parents and their friends tried all sorts of things to make me quit
>> sucking my thumb. (I learned to LIKE hot pepper!) As it happened, my
>> teeth stuck out, and everyone told me my teeth were like that because of
>> thumb-sucking. Well, I tried to stop, and was miserable because I couldn't.
>> Eventually I did quit in second grade.
>
and she's over 30!)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anita Graham
an...@mincom.oz.au
rachel rowe
his two middle fingers (and slept with a blanket) until he was about
10. the only reason he ever stopped was because he accidentally
slammed his fingers in a door & it hurt him to suck on them.
now, at age 18, he is going to a great college and seems to be fairly
normal. he did have to wear braces (for whatever reason), but so did
i and i didn't suck.
just my $.02 i don't think it matters. if you really want your kid
to stop, slam their finger in a door. (just kidding).
rachel
--
rachel rr...@bart.skidmore.edu
"my mind is crystal-clear...everyone else is confused."
- laurence in "for better or for worse"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grace Sylvan
just my $.02 i don't think it matters. if you really want your kid
to stop, slam their finger in a door. (just kidding).
I know you're just kidding - but my daughter cut the tip off of her
sucking thumb, and wound up with a huge bandage on it for a couple of
weeks. She was, oh, about 2 years and 8 months or something, and had
only weaned from the breast 2 months before. She was miserable and
cried a lot during those two weeks, both from the trauma of the blood
on her thumb and the trauma of losing her comfort - she tried using
the other thumb, but it wasn't the same. When the bandages came off,
the thumb went back into her mouth - although she really mostly uses
it for falling asleep, and sometimes during boredom or extreme stress.
Anyway, even an injury won't necessarily stop the thumb sucking, if
the child still needs to use it as a coping mechanism. I assume that
for a 10 year old, the sucking was more habit than need based.
--
Tigger (Grace Sylvan) Mom of Katherine Yelena, 8/8/89,
tig...@satyr.sylvan.com Corey 1/31/91; we loved him so,
Robin Gregory born 2/28/92
Danielle Cohen
Well I'm not Jan's daughter, but I am in my mid-twenties and have been known to
still suck my thumb for comfort on occasion. If I'm not feeling well, having
trouble sleeping, or really tired nothing works like thumb sucking. My parents
made some attempts to stop but only when I wanted the callous on my thumb to
go away, but nothing (socks, yucky tasting stuff, etc) worked permanetly. I
even got a trip to Hawaii out of it. My parents figured thumb sucking would
lead to braces - expensive braces. So they made me a deal, if I reached 13
without braces (they figured the only way was to quit) I could go to Hawaii.
Well, no braces (no retainer or anything), and a great trip to Hawaii - thumb
sucking and all. Actually I do have a slight overbite, but not that anyone
would notice, and I think (undocumented) that it help create a little extra
mouth space, so now I have my wisdom teeth too, thus no surgery to remove them!
Now my mother figures that I could have worse habits to comfort myself
(drinking, drugs, smoking) and is glad all I need is my thumb! If the kids
don't like the teasing, they will learn to only thumb suck at home-
I did. And the friends that knew would laugh a little a first, but they got
used to it.
Danielle (Taylor's Mom - 19 months and no signs of inheriting the thumbsucking)