Problem with three year old?
ruth onn ece fac
access.
Our son Amos is three years 9 months old. He sometimes exhibits the
following behaviours, that I (occasionaly) and my husband (a little more
frequently) find offensive:
1. Inappropriate usage of words like pee-pee and poo-poo. As in saying
something is pee-pee.
2. Talking non-sense words (a favorite is to ask, "Daddy do you know how
to say <whatever> in <Foreign language>? Reply: Non-sense word.
3. Artificial laughter.
While I attribute the behaviour to age, i.e. it is a phase, and will
pass, he thinks that it is due to bad influence of a particular boy.
This boy goes to the same day-care (full day), and is about 9 months
older then Amos. The day-care center is great in my opinion, and Amos
goes gladly. Recently he hasn't even been asking wheather it's Saturday
today every morning :). Amos definitely likes this boy, and considers
him a special friend.
Any suggestions?
Thanks in advance, Ruth.
Andreas Stolcke
:This is my husband's problem more than it is mine, but I have the net
The description of her 3-year-old reminds me strongly of a telefone-
conversation I had a short time ago with a friend who has a 4-year-old
(and two smaller kids). She complained strongly about his new manner
of imitating people, making strange faces in the most inappropriate moments
(also when she is reading to him or playing with him), saying nonsense-stuff,
acting totally childish - exactly in a moment when she thought he is
growing up a lot and becoming so mature!! She said it drives her crazy and
the hardest (but in her opinion the best) is to just ignore that or to
tell him very often in a more or less neutral voice that she doesn't like his
behaviour
.
He is also imitating his pals at day-care. I think this age is typical for
finding idols and imitate them. These "idols" can be ether real, television
or other caracters.
I would suggest you don't make a big deal out of his behaviour but let him
know what you don't like.Be otherwise very affirmative in everything else
he does great so that he also sees other fields where he is doing welland
hopefully, one day, he will drop some of the not so good habits because
nobody cares anymore.
The more you insist in not imitating his friend the more he will drift away
from you and to him.
So just relax, your son is just trying to grow up and will see shortly that
he needs more of your help with this than from his friend!
Susanne
--
Susanne Stolcke sto...@icsi.Berkeley.EDU
95A Edgecroft Rd., Kensington, CA 94707 (510) 528-1224
Douglas Fowler
In a previous article, o...@hertz.njit.edu (ruth onn ece fac) says:
>This is my husband's problem more than it is mine, but I have the net
>access.
>
>Our son Amos is three years 9 months old. He sometimes exhibits the
>following behaviours, that I (occasionaly) and my husband (a little more
>frequently) find offensive:
>
>1. Inappropriate usage of words like pee-pee and poo-poo. As in saying
> something is pee-pee.
First, be glad he isn't swearing. 2nd, encourage him to say different
words, and say each time: "We don't say that, we say <goofy, silly, etc.>"
3rd, maybe you could tell him something like: "Those are bathroom words, you
may only say them in the bathroom."
>2. Talking non-sense words (a favorite is to ask, "Daddy do you know how
> to say <whatever> in <Foreign language>? Reply: Non-sense word.
Sounds like you're reinforcing this a little by answering in nonsense
words - or do I misunderstand the question. Anyway, I think this is good in
2 ways - it'll get him off the "pee-pee and poo-poo" stage earlier (I soon
went from using those words to calling things "glerkish," "frimkldly", and other
nonsense words.), and it will foster a lively imagination.
The main thing to do here is to ensure he knows that there are places we
do nonsense things and places we don't, and encourage him to use this gift
to the fullest at home. For instance, he can do as I did and tell the bedtime
stories sometimes, making up all sorts of neat stuff.
>3. Artificial laughter.
Totally ignoring is best - he'll eventualy realize it doesn't cause
laughter in return, and will stop. I think sometimes kids feel the need to
let out some emotion at something, but don't know what to do. To him, it may
be a sign that he feels strongly about something.
>While I attribute the behaviour to age, i.e. it is a phase, and will
>pass, he thinks that it is due to bad influence of a particular boy.
>This boy goes to the same day-care (full day), and is about 9 months
>older then Amos. The day-care center is great in my opinion, and Amos
>goes gladly. Recently he hasn't even been asking wheather it's Saturday
>today every morning :). Amos definitely likes this boy, and considers
>him a special friend.
>
>Any suggestions?
>
>Thanks in advance, Ruth.
>
--
Doug Fowler: dx...@po.CWRU.edu : Me, age 4 & now: "Mommys and Daddys & other
Ever wonder if, after Casey : relatives have to give lots of hugs & love
missed the 3rd strike in the poem: & support, 'cause Heaven is just a great
he ran to first and made it? : big hug that lasts forever and ever!!!"
Kate Gregory
>Our son Amos is three years 9 months old. He sometimes exhibits the
>following behaviours, that I (occasionaly) and my husband (a little more
>frequently) find offensive:
>
>1. Inappropriate usage of words like pee-pee and poo-poo. As in saying
> something is pee-pee.
>2. Talking non-sense words (a favorite is to ask, "Daddy do you know how
> to say <whatever> in <Foreign language>? Reply: Non-sense word.
>3. Artificial laughter.
>
Beth is three years and ten months, and has been doing these things
for a few months. Yes, they can be annoying. Here's what we do:
Toilet words: we say "that's not funny" or "that's rude" as appropriate.
It has pretty much stopped lately.
Nonsense words. Beth's are onny-conny, onny-cah, conny-ah, and
various combinations like that. She would get on the phone and
say nonsense words to the grandparents, she would make a big deal
that she had something to whisper to us, then whisper nonsense,
and she would say "What is French for <something>? Onny-conny!"
For the first two we just ask her to please not talk nonsense
words in those circumstances, for the last we've been telling
her French words. She can count to five, say "my name is Beth",
and "I love you" in French. Having access to real French words
seems to have made the nonsense words less appealing to her.
Fake laughter. This she did almost entirely while on the phone
to a granparent. Again (since all our calls are long distance)
she got the phone taken away and was asked to please *talk* to
whoever. Then she got the phone back.
I see a common thread with all three behaviors: wanting to have
a turn to talk, to hold the attention of the family, but not
having anything to say. PAying lots of attention when she talks
in English words, and stating firmly but not over excitedly
that certain forms of talking are rude (Beth has known the
word rude a long time and we apply it to a wide range of
behavior so this wasn't new to her) has reduced the amount
it goes on. Other than that, wait and let it pass.
As time goes by they do learn how to tell little narratives
and stories so they know what to do when it's their turn to
talk. I think this behaviour starts up when we stop "interviewing"
them and just have conversations with them.
Kate
ps: I told my husband about this, and he laughed because the behaviours
were so close to Beth's, and it's so obviously a common stage,
and then he said "make sure that kid doesn't go to our daycare
before you post, or you'll be admitting Beth taught all those
bad habits!" :-)
Eric marr
It's amazing how much children have in common with each other. Our
daughter is 3 yrs. and 11 mo. old. She started saying "silly" or
non-sensical words for a few months ago. We try to just ignore her if
possible, but the majority of the time we have to repremand her to let her
know that it is not good manners to talk that way. After hearing stories
of other children this age, and also dealing with them its easy to see that
it is just anothe phase of growing up.
Eric Marr
Texas A&M University
Internet: esm...@rigel.tamu.edu
steven.s.albert
> daughter is 3 yrs. and 11 mo. old. She started saying "silly" or
> non-sensical words for a few months ago. We try to just ignore her if
Billy did this in the car the other day and I said "What are you talking
about?" He said "I'm speaking Spanish" (We have a friend who speaks Spanish).
We also respond with "jargon alert!". Seriously, though, when he wants to
communicate, he does, so we don't worry about it. He's just playing with
the language.
Steve Albert (Billy's dad [34 months])
s...@usl.com
Amanda Parker
It is amazing how children of the same age groups have the same
common traits of behavior.
My son who just turned 4 (April 17) has shown these same types of behavior.
Ricky's favorite silly words are bum-bum head, potatoe head, pee pee
herman and some others that I have not yet figured out. My problem
is that his 2 yr old sister repeats everything he says and when she
is not repeating she laughs and sort of acts as an audience which encourages
him to continue. I have tried to substitute silly words with better
words and or sometimes I just ignore it.
Amanda
(Mother to Ricky (4) & Tiara (2))