Message from discussion
family help after delivery??
Newsgroups: misc.kids.pregnancy
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From: madr...@cruzio.com
Subject: Re: family help after delivery??
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Organization: Cruzio Community Networking System, Santa Cruz, CA
Date: Wed, 1 Mar 1995 00:06:53 GMT
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In article <1995Feb24.144130.42...@cc.usu.edu>, <sl...@cc.usu.edu> writes:
> Have any of you ever had a family member/s or in-law/s stay with
> you immediately after the birth of your child? My parents want me
> to call them the minute I go into "real" labor so they can get things
> packed and drive up (they're about 4 hours away). My mom and sister
> both say they plan on staying with us for a week or so after the baby
> is born "to help out" and my MIL and SIL say the same. But I would
> rather have at least a week to spend with just me, my husband, and
> our new addition. Another problem, our apartment isn't that big and
> I think that all the extra bodies would cause more stress than
> anything. I would feel like I had to play hostess to them.
I think you've just answered your own question. I, too, like to have
a week or two alone with my husband and children before braving the
relative onslaught. We told the relatives that Garry was staying
home for the first week or so and that we'd love to have them come
_after_ he went back to work.
I think it's great to give yourselves time for a babymoon before
sharing your new little one with all of creation. I love to have my
mother and grandmother come visit; I enjoy them and they're very
helpful. But I don't want anyone those first precious few days of
my new baby's life.
> And this may sound dumb/selfish/crazy, but I also am worried that
> I won't get a chance to hold my own child (except when he/she cries
> or needs to be fed). I appreciate all the help the families are offering but
> I could use some advice from you all as to how much help is really necessary
> during that first week after bringing the baby home. Would it be
> rude to tell my family and in-laws to stay away for a little while?
> (In nicer words, of course). I know it will cause some hurt feelings
> and both my mom and my MIL are really good at making me feel guilty, but
> well...I don't know.
Tell them that you'd love to have them come _after_ your husband goes
back to work. I basically handled this by saying, "Garry will be home
to help me for a week or so, but I could really use some help after he
goes back to work." And, believe me, you will be able to use their
help at that point.
I hope your relatives know that you need help with the house, meals
and laundry, NOT taking care of the baby.
--
Heather Madrone
(madr...@cruzio.com)
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