Don't know what to do
Steve
>
> I don't know what to do. I am in the later stages of pregnancy but I have
> a pretty good idea that the baby is going to be African American. (my
> husband and I are both caucasian) I went to a party one night and well I
> screwed up. The understatement of the year. I'm now going thru so much
> stress, not eating right, always feel like puking. I know it can't be good
> for the baby. But sometimes I think that if I lose the baby it might be the
> best thing. I don't even know if abortion is a possibility at this point.
> Adoption isn't a viable option because my husband would find out what I've
> done. I'm even thinking about going away for awhile to have the baby and
> then tell him it died. Please help...
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> This message was posted via one or more anonymous remailing services.
> Any address shown in the From header is unverified.
--------------------------
No signature. Bullshit spam trolling from an anon remailer.
Steve
Elaine Gallant
<ken...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
news:22QM6ETY3678...@nuther-planet.net...
> I don't know what to do. I am in the later stages of pregnancy but I have
> a pretty good idea that the baby is going to be African American. (my
> husband and I are both caucasian) I went to a party one night and well I
> screwed up. The understatement of the year. I'm now going thru so much
> stress, not eating right, always feel like puking. I know it can't be
good
> for the baby. But sometimes I think that if I lose the baby it might be
the
> best thing. I don't even know if abortion is a possibility at this point.
> Adoption isn't a viable option because my husband would find out what I've
> done. I'm even thinking about going away for awhile to have the baby and
> then tell him it died. Please help...
>
> >
> >
> >
> > misc.kids.pregnancy
J&D
are hurting the poor baby. You fucked up, not the baby. Adoption is a
wonderful option if the baby ends up to be from your affair. There are sooo
many couples out there who just can't have children and would be able to
love and nurture this child. I don't feel you are mature enough to keep the
baby since you would probably always treat him/her like an accident. If you
are in a loving relationship, you should be able to tell your husband. It's
not fair to him not to. Good luck.
-Denise
Pat and Robin
>>>snipped "I screwed up story"
> --------------------------
> No signature. Bullshit spam trolling from an anon remailer.
> Steve
Is it possible that this person sent this through an anon remailer so her SO
wouldn't find out and it's true? Just wondering. :)
Robin
ttc x 3 months
TAWms
isn't worth replying seriously to. This woman has little sense. It seems
like a flame topic... get folks here stirred up. Saying "adoption isn't a
viable option because my husband will find out..." does she plan on painting
the child with shoe polish once it's born. She can have the child adopted
out after it's born and certainly will have to deal with it then. Some one
here said this is a troll... either way she isn't really wanting to resolve
this! Anni
Steve
Abortion has been around a while. Letting it go this long is pretty
stupid for a married woman. It's possible, but usually someone who can't
figure out how to get an abortion also has trouble figuring out how to
use anon remailers!!
Steve
whodunit
Carolyne in TX
Finally pg after 15+ years of infertility
steve
why do you post your idiocy on the internet. abort it now so your idiot
genes do not go on...
wrote in message <22QM6ETY3678...@nuther-planet.net>...
steve
a few hundred meaningless dollars out of my pocket which will prevent
another generation of this nonsense is a small price to pay. i will only
pay for this abortion if you also get your tubes tied. plus i'll throw in
an additional 500 dollars to do with what you wish.
so.. reply to me if you agree to the following:
abortion
tubes tied
500 spending money.
Sarajoyo
>Finally pg after 15+ years of infertility
Carolyne! I didn't know you were pg - I thought you were still ttc. If this
is recent, congratulations! If you've been pg for a while, please forgive my
dense-ness.
-Sara:)
Reina and Russell
totally, Anni! My husband is mixed and did not know he was part black
until he was 10 years old. He thought his (white) step-father was his
real father and no you could not tell he was black when he was younger.
Think of what that does to someone. He did not meet his real father
until he was 18. To this day he has trouble dealing with it. My advice,
if the post is real, is to put the child up for adoption. It will be
better in the long run.
Reina
Randy & Carlene Rummery
Elaine Gallant <elaine....@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
news:QPIw5.16477$6f1.7...@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
> You're a tramp. It's only too bad that the baby will have to pay.
>
My. That's constructive.
ellen
your sense of denial was so strong that you were able to ignore this problem
for months, then I doubt you are mature enough to raise a baby. I think you
should face the music, tell your husband and put the baby up for adoption.
There are so many childless couples that would feel so blessed to adopt. Maybe
you could find some solace in the happiness your baby would bring to another
family.
Good Luck,
-Ellen
whodunit
Our 3rd IVF last February was successful,
we are expecting a little girl, Maya Grace,
due to be induced on Wed, Oct. 18th. :-)
BTW, we had considered naming the baby after
my MIL, Saraswati, and calling her Sara!
But we both liked Maya for it's meaning
"God's creative power"--very appropriate,
we thought.
And there's so many people to keep up with
on the ngs, I forgive you if you didn't know
the details. ;-)
Love,
Carolyne in TX
33w5d today
Sarajoyo wrote:
>
> >Carolyne in TX
> >Finally pg after 15+ years of infertility
>
Glen Appleby
alt.parenting.solutions,"Randy & Carlene Rummery"
<rum...@attcanada.ca> wrote:
That is the epitomy of Elaine.
Yup, as "good" as it gets from her about kids.
--
Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss's job.
It is your job to find ways around your boss's roadblocks.
______________________________________________________________
Glen Appleby gl...@armory.com <http://www.armory.com/~glena/>
bigt...@my-deja.com
You should tell your husband, even if you fear his response. Honesty
is the only way to get through this ordeal. If he wants to leave you,
so be it. You need to decide for yourself why you cheated; are you
really happy with your husband anyway? As far as your sweet child
goes, please, carry it through to full term (late term abortion is
really cruel in my opinion) and then give it up for adoption, unless
you feel like you are up for the responsibility of taking care of it,
especially by yourself if you and hubby decide to split. Please look
at this from the perspective of 5 years from now; you may still regret
your night of conception, but what decision on how to deal with it can
you be proud of? Honesty and full responsibility for your actions and
the resulting life that you created.
Best wishes to you and your child.
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Cathie
need to know. Bottom line is that you shouldn't cover one dishonest act
with an even bigger one (i.e. you shouldn't tell your husband the baby
died). If you're very certain that the baby is not your husband's, then you
have no choice, really, but to tell him. However, if you're certain the
baby is your husband's, then nothing good would come of telling him...it
would only hurt him.
--
Best Regards,
Cathie
" You must be very educated to be eloquent...There is nothing more eloquent
than a parent saying to a child 'I love you'." ~Maya Angelou
<ken...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
news:22QM6ETY3678...@nuther-planet.net...
n/a
I didn't know you are due on Oct 18!!!! That's my 2nd daughter Rachel's
birthday!
She will be a year old this year. :-)
Hugs,
Leigh & Sarah Marie (jan 26, 98) & Rachel Ellen (oct 18, 99)
"whodunit" <pill...@home.com> wrote in message
news:39C59432...@home.com...
whodunit
day (they just want to put in the cytotec on Wed. evening
and go from there), but I'm hoping some of the natural
alternatives will move things right along! My brother and
grandfather's birthday are Oct. 17th--most of my relatives
have fall birthdays, so whenever she's born, she's sure to
land on someone's b-day! :-)
Tell Rachel early happy b-day for me! :-)
Carolyne in TX
n/a wrote:
>
> Carolyne,
>
> I didn't know you are due on Oct 18!!!! That's my 2nd daughter Rachel's
> birthday!
> She will be a year old this year. :-)
>
> Hugs,
> Leigh & Sarah Marie (jan 26, 98) & Rachel Ellen (oct 18, 99)
>
> "whodunit" <pill...@home.com> wrote in message
> news:39C59432...@home.com...
Sarah
actions you now have four people involved. You, your child, your husband
and some anonymous fuck that is gonna be a Daddy. Girl, you done fucked up
royal.
Tell the truth.
Sarah
Mom to Kalen (9) and Victoria (10 months)
n/a
> Well, don't know if Maya will make her entrance that
> day (they just want to put in the cytotec on Wed. evening
> and go from there), but I'm hoping some of the natural
> alternatives will move things right along! My brother and
> grandfather's birthday are Oct. 17th--most of my relatives
> have fall birthdays, so whenever she's born, she's sure to
> land on someone's b-day! :-)
>
> Tell Rachel early happy b-day for me! :-)
>
> Carolyne in TX
Thanks Carolyne! And I hope you have a short and safe L/D too! :-)
Leigh
Larry McMahan
: I could just throw up. :0(
that's what happens when you finally get pg.
: Carolyne in TX
: Finally pg after 15+ years of infertility
:-)
Larry
whodunit
Actually, for me being so high risk, I never
did throw up during the first trimester!
Got really queasy and nauseous a lot though.
Mostly I just slept because I was so tired.
And incredibly, I have started having those
morning sickness symptoms again, at week 33-34!
Hopefully, the vomiting part will by pass me again. :-)
Carolyne in TX
Larry McMahan wrote:
>
> In misc.kids.pregnancy whodunit <pill...@home.com> wrote:
>
> : I could just throw up. :0(
>
> that's what happens when you finally get pg.
>
> : Carolyne in TX
> : Finally pg after 15+ years of infertility
>
> :-)
>
> Larry
min...@yahoo.com
wrote:
>You chose a monogamous marriage and you made vows. So because of your
>actions you now have four people involved. You, your child, your husband
>and some anonymous fuck that is gonna be a Daddy. Girl, you done fucked up
>royal.
>
>Tell the truth.
>
>Sarah
>Mom to Kalen (9) and Victoria (10 months)
I see you're a mom, well so am I. What if I tell my husband and he
decides to leave me, and then the children have no father?
Suzanne
<min...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:P6ZSEN3Y3679...@nuther-planet.net...
> On 19 Sep 2000 00:00:00 GMT "Sarah" <sedona_...@hotmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> >You chose a monogamous marriage and you made vows. So because of your
> >actions you now have four people involved. You, your child, your husband
> >and some anonymous fuck that is gonna be a Daddy. Girl, you done fucked
up
> >royal.
> >
> >Tell the truth.
> >
> >Sarah
> >Mom to Kalen (9) and Victoria (10 months)
>
> I see you're a mom, well so am I. What if I tell my husband and he
> decides to leave me, and then the children have no father?
>
If the baby is born and obviously not Caucasian, then he will know and it
will be a bad way to tell him. Lay yourself down on his mercy, tell him
how sorry and bad you feel that you hurt him. Confess to him everything
and beg his forgiveness. Can your clergyperson help you? It will
come out sooner or later, better for you to know how and when, and to have a
little control, than for him to see in the delivery room that the baby is
black.
Good luck,
Suzanne
min...@yahoo.com
>I hate dishonesty, but I'm wondering if an amnio would tell you what you
>need to know. Bottom line is that you shouldn't cover one dishonest act
>with an even bigger one (i.e. you shouldn't tell your husband the baby
>died). If you're very certain that the baby is not your husband's, then you
>have no choice, really, but to tell him. However, if you're certain the
>baby is your husband's, then nothing good would come of telling him...it
>would only hurt him.
>
>--
>Best Regards,
>Cathie
>
I'm almost positive that it's not my husband's. I hadn't had sex with
him for nearly a month before this accident. I did have sex with a
third man, but he used protection and the timing was safe on that one.
I'm thinking of maybe telling him that I had sex, but that it was
forced on me. That might be the only way out.
>" You must be very educated to be eloquent...There is nothing more eloquent
>than a parent saying to a child 'I love you'." ~Maya Angelou
Glen Appleby
alt.parenting.solutions,min...@yahoo.com wrote:
>I'm almost positive that it's not my husband's. I hadn't had sex with
>him for nearly a month before this accident. I did have sex with a
>third man, but he used protection and the timing was safe on that one.
>
>I'm thinking of maybe telling him that I had sex, but that it was
>forced on me. That might be the only way out.
Now, *here* is a relationship that is bound to last! One based
on honesty.
Come on!
You made a mistake (or did you?). If you want this relationship
to have *any* chance of success, tell your husband what happened
and why. Talk about it *honestly*.
If you can't do this, then I see NO hope for any sort of real,
lasting relationship with this man and your kids will end up
without a father being around.
Yes, for this to have happened in the first place, there are
problems with the relationship. They *should* have been
discussed a long time ago.
That didn't happen.
Now *use* this to develop real communications or just join the
list of divorced couples or couples that are living lives of
"quiet desparation".
Glen (looking for blessings in disguise) Appleby
Suzanne
with your husband and be honest.
Good luck,
Suzanne
<min...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:Z8XRPA9F3679...@nuther-planet.net...
> On 18 Sep 2000 00:00:00 GMT "Cathie" <cha...@bresnanlink.net> wrote:
>
> >I hate dishonesty, but I'm wondering if an amnio would tell you what you
> >need to know. Bottom line is that you shouldn't cover one dishonest act
> >with an even bigger one (i.e. you shouldn't tell your husband the baby
> >died). If you're very certain that the baby is not your husband's, then
you
> >have no choice, really, but to tell him. However, if you're certain the
> >baby is your husband's, then nothing good would come of telling him...it
> >would only hurt him.
> >
> >--
> >Best Regards,
> >Cathie
> >
>
>
> I'm almost positive that it's not my husband's. I hadn't had sex with
> him for nearly a month before this accident. I did have sex with a
> third man, but he used protection and the timing was safe on that one.
>
> I'm thinking of maybe telling him that I had sex, but that it was
> forced on me. That might be the only way out.
>
>
>
XiolaBlu
----------
In article <Z8XRPA9F3679...@nuther-planet.net>, min...@yahoo.com
wrote:
> I'm almost positive that it's not my husband's. I hadn't had sex with
> him for nearly a month before this accident. I did have sex with a
> third man, but he used protection and the timing was safe on that one.
>
> I'm thinking of maybe telling him that I had sex, but that it was
> forced on me. That might be the only way out.
>
OK, I've kept quiet about this, I haven't said much because really, there
wasn't much that I could add to this, since everyone has said what I would
have said. HOWEVER...claiming that sex was forced on you is sick, and
probably one of the most lowly and despicable things I think ANY woman could
EVER do. Not only will lying to cover your ass create a bigger problem,
which will snowball into lie upon lie, but your lies also invalidate the
cries of the REAL victims of sexual assault. You went out, cheated on your
husband, more than once, and you have the gall, the depravity to think that
crying rape will get you out of the mess you put yourself in? You DESERVE
to have your husband leave you, and one can only hope that he'd take your
child too. And if you lie about being sexually assaulted, you deserve to
become a victim of rape, just so you can experience first hand the horror
and shame that a survivor feels, the years of therapy, the night terrors and
the feeling of never being safe again that so many victims deal with.
You can't be called a woman, you're a pathetic, sad excuse for a (barely)
human being, and I'd *gladly* suggest a few ways out for you, except that
there's an innocent life you're carrying.
Buh bye
Dana
EDD 4/7/01
greccogirl
too?
Why are you married at all?
>
min...@yahoo.com
>On 26 Sep 2000 07:15:16 -0000, min...@yahoo.com wrote:
>
>On 16 Sep 2000 07:45:31 -0000, ken...@worldnet.att.net wrote:
>>
>>I don't know what to do. I am in the later stages of pregnancy but I have
>>a pretty good idea that the baby is going to be African American. (my
>>husband and I are both caucasian) I went to a party one night and well I
>>screwed up. The understatement of the year. I'm now going thru so much
>>stress, not eating right, always feel like puking. I know it can't be good
>>for the baby. But sometimes I think that if I lose the baby it might be the
>>best thing. I don't even know if abortion is a possibility at this point.
>>Adoption isn't a viable option because my husband would find out what I've
>>done. I'm even thinking about going away for awhile to have the baby and
>>then tell him it died. Please help...
>
>Not much SUPPORT in this support group for you. As a long time lurker
>I can offer this suggestion.
>
>Have a DNA test done on your unborn baby. It should be easy to get
>some of your husband's DNA (hair, sperm sample, whatever the doctors
>need). If the baby is your husbands, you then can save your marriage
>by keeping quiet. If the baby is not your husbands, there are
>doctors, some out of the country if you are in the US, who do very
>late term abortions - you can tell him you fell down the stairs or
>something unless you have a way of giving birth under a phoney name
>and putting the child up for adoption (if he is on deployment in the
>military, this might be possible).
>
>Talk to a doctor in confidence about DNA testing.
Thank you for being one of the few people capable of giving me an adult
response in this group.
I'm going to tell him. I plan to tell him that I don't remember anything from
that night, and that maybe ryphanol was used on me. First I'm taking the kids
to my mother's house, in case he goes nuts and tries to kidnap them.
After I tell him, we'll consider our options. Thanks for your help.
Goddess
You didn't mention having other children. Are they his or from
another marriage?
Regardless, you do not want them to be present when you talk about
this. Is there any risk of physical harm from him? If so, you may
want a third party present - perhaps a marriage counselor or your
religious leader if you have a church/temple/whatever you regularly
attend.
>After I tell him, we'll consider our options. Thanks for your help.
Telling him probably increases the chance you can save your marriage
.. consider marriage counseling because this could be a very rough
patch you two will have to work through.
WD40
"Goddess" <God...@lurker.net.invalid> wrote in message
news:39d35da2...@news.mindspring.com...
> On 28 Sep 2000 14:16:56 -0000, min...@yahoo.com wrote:
>
> >On 27 Sep 2000 00:00:00 GMT God...@lurker.net.invalid (Goddess) wrote:
> >>On 26 Sep 2000 07:15:16 -0000, min...@yahoo.com wrote:
> >>On 16 Sep 2000 07:45:31 -0000, ken...@worldnet.att.net wrote:
> >>>
> >I'm going to tell him. I plan to tell him that I don't remember anything
from
> >that night, and that maybe ryphanol was used on me. First I'm taking the
kids
> >to my mother's house, in case he goes nuts and tries to kidnap them.
So you are going to lie to him again. You are one dispicable piece of shit.
Then your going to take his kids away from him because of your cheating.
Do you expect him to say "oh, thats all right dear, no problem".
> You didn't mention having other children. Are they his or from
> another marriage?
>
> Regardless, you do not want them to be present when you talk about
> this. Is there any risk of physical harm from him?
where did that come from? Can he yell at her? OR IS THAT ABUSE TOO. She
should have absolutely no right to take his kids.
If so, you may
> want a third party present - perhaps a marriage counselor or your
> religious leader if you have a church/temple/whatever you regularly
> attend.
That'll kind of screw up her plans to lie to him won't it?
>
> >After I tell him, we'll consider our options. Thanks for your help.
>
> Telling him probably increases the chance you can save your marriage
I wish there was a way to get these posts to him to read. If it was me I'd
sure love to know what my wife was all about.
> .. consider marriage counseling because this could be a very rough
> patch you two will have to work through.
it wouldn't be if the laws weren't so biased against men. she'd be gone
floridanewbie
>Unbelievable
>"Goddess" <God...@lurker.net.invalid> wrote in message
>news:39d35da2...@news.mindspring.com...
>> On 28 Sep 2000 14:16:56 -0000, min...@yahoo.com wrote:
>>
>> >On 27 Sep 2000 00:00:00 GMT God...@lurker.net.invalid (Goddess) wrote:
>> >>On 26 Sep 2000 07:15:16 -0000, min...@yahoo.com wrote:
>> >>On 16 Sep 2000 07:45:31 -0000, ken...@worldnet.att.net wrote:
>> >>>
>> >I'm going to tell him. I plan to tell him that I don't remember anything
>from
>> >that night, and that maybe ryphanol was used on me. First I'm taking the
>kids
>> >to my mother's house, in case he goes nuts and tries to kidnap them.
>
>So you are going to lie to him again. You are one dispicable piece of shit.
>Then your going to take his kids away from him because of your cheating.
>Do you expect him to say "oh, thats all right dear, no problem".
I read the part about taking the kids to her mother's house as just
wanting to be able to have time to discuss this privately, with no
interruptions and no other ears to overhear what was being said.
For all we know, she has no idea what happened that night so I do not
know if she is lying about the use of ryphanol, whatever that is ... I
am too lazy to do a quick web search to find out. Certainly people
have been drugged without their knowledge; it does happen.
>> You didn't mention having other children. Are they his or from
>> another marriage?
>>
>> Regardless, you do not want them to be present when you talk about
>> this. Is there any risk of physical harm from him?
>
>where did that come from? Can he yell at her? OR IS THAT ABUSE TOO. She
>should have absolutely no right to take his kids.
He can yell all he wants ... so can she ... that is their business.
It would help the conversation if she can keep a civil tongue; as you
saw, when she came at me cussin' and swearin' I reacted rather
strongly ... usually I don't do that around here. I wish I could be
so calm and even-tempered in real life :-)
I did not get the idea she was taking the kids, just letting them stay
with their grandmother while they got into a very difficult
discussion. She did express concern about her husband kidnapping the
kids ... I don't know if she was projecting or if that is a real
possibility. She knows him better than anyone here... perhaps he has
threatened the lives of the kids before ... I have no idea. As with
all such situations, there is a LOT we do not know.
>If so, you may
>> want a third party present - perhaps a marriage counselor or your
>> religious leader if you have a church/temple/whatever you regularly
>> attend.
>
>That'll kind of screw up her plans to lie to him won't it?
Nah... she just has to tell the third party a consistent story.
>> >After I tell him, we'll consider our options. Thanks for your help.
>>
>> Telling him probably increases the chance you can save your marriage
>
>I wish there was a way to get these posts to him to read. If it was me I'd
>sure love to know what my wife was all about.
This is a case where outsiders need to keep their noses out of it ..
they have to work on this themselves and with their counselors.
>> .. consider marriage counseling because this could be a very rough
>> patch you two will have to work through.
>
>it wouldn't be if the laws weren't so biased against men. she'd be gone
We hear that all the time until the sh*t hits the fan ... then
suddenly the wronged person is not so certain at all. Perhaps you
would toss her out on her ear with no further discussion but her
husband may love her and want to find some way to save the marriage.
Since there are children involved, trying to repair the marriage is a
much better idea, in my opinion ... you do realize they could give up
that new child for adoption if indeed it is not his, right?
Floridanewbie, now defending her ... it's awful when you can see
multiple sides to a single problem
Stephanie
Luckily for me, you did!
Stephanie
"XiolaBlu" <dno...@optonline.net> wrote in message
news:rSdA5.42337$4d.63...@news02.optonline.net...
Suzanne
> >doctors, some out of the country if you are in the US, who do very
> >late term abortions - you can tell him you fell down the stairs or
> >something
This is sick.
Terence M Keeler
the end
floridanewbie
What was the purpose of cross-posting this?
Newsgroups: alt.support.marriage,misc.kids.pregnancy
Now my troll meter is standing straight up again! You have to know no
one in a kids.pregnancy group is going to be sympathetic to the
original scenario you posted.
I have to learn to trust my original instincts.
Floridanewbie
Suzanne
I smell a troll....
floridanewbie <florid...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:39d3da16...@news.mindspring.com...
SSgt. Dylan W. McGehee
Thanks. I was beginning to think I was the only one who thought so.
floridanewbie
>I agree, this is way too weird.
>I smell a troll....
Suzanne, if you want to have a good laugh do a deja search on this
thread in alt.support.marriage for her reaction when it was suggested
she might be trolling.
Since she added the cross-post herself, something is not congruent.
Floridanewbie, over in ASM
Christina DeJong Schwitzer
> Suzanne, if you want to have a good laugh do a deja search on this
> thread in alt.support.marriage for her reaction when it was suggested
> she might be trolling.
Ha!!!! I love it--a woman who's suggesting lying to her husband about being
raped (or that her baby died) goes off on someone who suggests she's a
troll. This is a real mature individual here...
I thought she was a troll at first, too. I guess she just has an awful lot
of growing up to do.