I am an evil father . . . so my daughter tells me.
Bob Carlson
creep upon the earth. My oldest is two and a half years old and this
will be her third Christmas, and every year when she meets up the
Santa she has greeted the situation by howling with fear at the top of
her voice. Well, this year my wife and I were determined that she
would learn to love St. Nick, and thus we had her practice sitting on
our laps pretending that we were Santa Clause for weeks before the big
day.
When the day came for her to meet Santa we were pretty sure we'd
overcome her jitters. We went to a family Christmas party where Santa
would show up, and set about warning her that she was about to go on
stage with the real Santa and cameras flashing (okay, we left the part
about cameras flashing out). Oh yeah, she has a younger sister who is
only two and a half months old, which means she has no fear of Santa
whatsoever.
Anyway, with all the talk of Santa's imminent arrival, Madison (the
eldest Santa fearer) lost all her courage and told us in no uncertain
term she would not be sitting on Santa's lap after all, and no amount
of cajoling or pleading on our part would change her mind. Finally I
promised her she wouldn't have to sit on Santa's lap after all and she
settled down.
But when Santa came and it was her younger sister's turn came to sit
on his lap I asked Madison to come up and help me. She of course was
frightened to death, and not sure she could trust Santa to not reach
out and eat her, but she came trepidly just the same. And with her
youngest sister sitting on Santa's lap content as a sleeping lamb, and
her Mommy lining up to take a picture it occurred to me that all I had
to do was reach down really quick, sit Madison on Santa's lap and we'd
have a perfect picture for her mother's scrapbook. My wife had the
same idea at the same time and motioned for me to do this. Which I
did.
As soon as Madison touched that lap she went off like an explosion.
Tears flying, arms and legs churning, we got yet another picture of
evil Daddy cruelly exposing his daughter to Santa for the third year
in a row. And for the rest of the day every new family member Madison
met she was sure to tell the story of how her evil Daddy had tricked
her.
But for all that I have not learned my lesson, for I will try it again
next year. Maybe I should start referring to Santa as the chocolate
man. She thus far has shown no fear of chocolate. Hmm . . . it also
occurs to me that this would be a good story for her web site, if I
ever get done with the Sleepy Time article I'm working on now.
Bob Carlson
http://www.MadisonsScrapbook.com
The story of Madison trying to raise her preoccupied father.
Esther
and "Meanest Mom" in the Universe. We do that dreaded
thing of cooking nutritious food and expect our children
to try it. Oh, how hideous of us! Esther
SuperEeyore
"Bob Carlson" <con...@MadisonsScrapbook.com> wrote in message
news:ca0a3bf3.02122...@posting.google.com...
> But for all that I have not learned my lesson, for I will try it again
> next year. Maybe I should start referring to Santa as the chocolate
> man. She thus far has shown no fear of chocolate. Hmm . . . it also
> occurs to me that this would be a good story for her web site, if I
> ever get done with the Sleepy Time article I'm working on now.
My mom thought those type of pictures would make a good year to year picture
stage thing with me. Every year starting from a wee little baby where my
mom held me out shreiking to the later years where I actually punched
"Santa" she never did get the perfect picture! Fake picture Santas had no
relation to Santa Claus.
Laurel
Marie
What is the point? When I take mine to the mall or wherever to see Santa,
there are always little kids and babies being forced to sit there, crying
wanting their parents to get them.
Marie
"Bob Carlson" <con...@MadisonsScrapbook.com> wrote in message
news:ca0a3bf3.02122...@posting.google.com...
Barbera Wallace
don't mean anything, and that you can't be trusted. If Mum and Dad
aren't 'safe', who is? And all that for a stupid photo.
My stepdaughter's mother did this (not the Santa thing, but the
lying and breaking promises) to her. She is 12 and has been living
with us for 3 years. She is now seeing a psychologist because she
lies to everybody and doesn't trust anyone.
Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh, but I hope it will help you. Never
break promises to your kids, not even when they're only two and a
half. The consequences can be very unpleasant, for them and for you.
Barbera
Kalera
Um, I know your story was meant to be humorous, but WHY would you subject
her to that for no reason whatsoever? It IS selfish and mean, woudln't you
say? Isn't Christmas supposed to be FUN for kids?
She'll probably grow to hate Christmas, like me. I associate it with stress
and family pressure.
--
-Kalera
Juliet 01/29/98
Sam10/09/99
??? EDD 06/01/03
Silly One
> > As soon as Madison touched that lap she went off like an explosion.
> > Tears flying, arms and legs churning, we got yet another picture of
> > evil Daddy cruelly exposing his daughter to Santa for the third year
> > in a row. And for the rest of the day every new family member Madison
> > met she was sure to tell the story of how her evil Daddy had tricked
> > her.
> >
> > But for all that I have not learned my lesson, for I will try it again
> > next year. Maybe I should start referring to Santa as the chocolate
> > man. She thus far has shown no fear of chocolate. Hmm . . . it also
> > occurs to me that this would be a good story for her web site, if I
> > ever get done with the Sleepy Time article I'm working on now.
> Um, I know your story was meant to be humorous, but WHY would you subject
> her to that for no reason whatsoever? It IS selfish and mean, woudln't you
> say? Isn't Christmas supposed to be FUN for kids?
>
> She'll probably grow to hate Christmas, like me. I associate it with stress
> and family pressure.
I agree with Barbera and Kalera. Please don't do this to your
daughter again next year. If your daughter learns early that she
can't trust you, she may grow up not trusting anyone. The fact that
she kept lamenting the story to other family members (and making you
the evil Daddy) indicates that she sees you as her tormentor in this
situation. As her father, you should be the one to comfort her when
she encounters scary things in the world, not the one to force them on
her. Not to mention that wariness over sitting on a strange man's lap
is not a bad thing.
Lissa
bad, why don't you sit in his lap? I see no reason to force a child
to do something that scares them. It is fine to expand and face our
fears, but it just isn't necessary at the age of 2. if you want that
"perfect picture" let her go at her pace and maybe in a few years
(when she may be at the ripe old age of 5) she may want to sit on his
lap. And she may not. With all the fear you are instilling into her,
she may never want to. My daughter was subjected to getting too close
to a clown when she was 2 by her grandfather. She hates clowns to
this day and has had nightmares about them. She is now 11. Give it up
and tell santa your wish list for Christmas. Your daughter really
doesn't the need stress.
Welches
Marie <mommy...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:f09O9.62028$C06....@news.bellsouth.net...
> Why do parents force their children to sit on a stranger's lap like that?
> What is the point? When I take mine to the mall or wherever to see Santa,
> there are always little kids and babies being forced to sit there, crying
> wanting their parents to get them.
> Marie
think it's usual now for Santa's to get children on their knees. I mean you
don't know who's under the beard etc. DD (age 26 months) loves the idea of
Santa, until she sees him. So I made sure that I held her through any
meetings we had. The last time we saw her she got quite chatty to him, from
the safety of my arms. I wouldn't put her down on the floor even because she
was nervous. She even remembered him asking her to leave out a drink for
him. In our house, therefore, Santa had a nice drink of water. I hope he
appreciated it!
Debbie
Bob Carlson
> her to that for no reason whatsoever? It IS selfish and mean, woudln't you
> say? Isn't Christmas supposed to be FUN for kids?
>
> She'll probably grow to hate Christmas, like me. I associate it with stress
> and family pressure.
I wish I could say it was the demon Santa that made me do it, but alas
I can't. However, after many apologies to Madison I believe she has
forgiven me. Of course, since "Santa" brought her a new dolly
yesterday he has risen in her estimation now also. And between aunts,
uncles and grandma's doing their best to spoil her yesterday I think
she's well on her way to being a Christmas junkie.
Oddly enough, I think one of her favorite things she got was a new
tube and tooth paste and a tooth brush (we're trying to teach her to
brush her teeth). Her enthusiasm might have something to do with the
fact that her toothpaste tastes like sweet Jell-O, but still, she does
love it to do it.
Anyway, Christmas to her means she gets to play with all her
sub-five-year-old relatives (the big kids to her), visit Grandma and
Grandpa (who never utter the word "no" to her), and in general have an
entire day of little girl joy. So I think that in spite of Daddy and
Mommy's Santa error I think she'll love Christmas always.
Elizabeth Reid
> Well, it's official: I am, apparently, the most evil father ever to
> creep upon the earth. My oldest is two and a half years old and this
> will be her third Christmas, and every year when she meets up the
> Santa she has greeted the situation by howling with fear at the top of
> her voice. Well, this year my wife and I were determined that she
> would learn to love St. Nick, and thus we had her practice sitting on
> our laps pretending that we were Santa Clause for weeks before the big
> day.
<snip story>
> As soon as Madison touched that lap she went off like an explosion.
> Tears flying, arms and legs churning, we got yet another picture of
> evil Daddy cruelly exposing his daughter to Santa for the third year
> in a row. And for the rest of the day every new family member Madison
> met she was sure to tell the story of how her evil Daddy had tricked
> her.
Well, maybe not evil, but I'd say you sound like a jerk.
I'm not interested in bungee jumping. I accept that some people
enjoy it, but I'm afraid of heights and it would scare me. If
someone I trusted said, "Hey, c'mon over here and help me get
Bob's bungee cord on", I'd probably do it. If that person then
grabbed me, attached a bungee cord to me, and pushed me off
a bridge, I'd be livid. I bet most adults would be livid if
they were tricked/forced into doing something that scared them.
So why is it funny just because your daughter's young?
Some things that scare kids are necessary, like visits to the
doctor, first days at new schools, maybe even learning to swim.
Some things aren't, and I'd say that a photo op on the lap of
a guy in a red suit is right up there. I'm not a fanatic who
thinks that everything in life should be arranged to the
preferences of one's children, but when a child is very
frightened of something that's totally optional, it'd take a
jerk to trick the child into that situation and then laugh
about it.
Beth
Sam 8/16/2002
Bob Carlson
Christmas day for adults with children and other family living close
by DOES involve a lot of pressure) so I went to bed early. Madison
followed me upstairs to my bed. Since I had a headache I didn't have
the desire to tussle with her to go to sleep in her own bed, so I
figured I'd just carry her to her room after she went to sleep.
Anyway, she clambered up into bed and laid her head on my pillow with
her face about two inches from mine. You see, although I wanted to
sleep she wanted to talk – I think she was still wound up pretty well
from the day. She asked me softly if we could go watch a video, I told
her we could tomorrow but that now it was time to go to bed. She then
started going through most of the things we had done yesterday (going
to relatives etc.) and asking if we could do them again, all of which
I said yes too – tomorrow, after she went to sleep. She even asked if
Santa was going to come again this night, but when I told her no, not
until next year, she was disappointed.
In the end I believe she had a marvelous Christmas. I think she even
understands that we celebrate it for something other than Santa and
presents. Mostly she saw family getting together, parents being a
little less serious and playmates and cousins being a lot more
plentiful. And don't forget there's that new tube of toothpaste and a
new dolly to make the day for a two year old one of the best of the
year.
Edith (41)
about all the parents who keep up with the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy
and all those other old myths? I kept it up with my kids. I don't think
they are "too" scarred from the whole thing. They do still trust me for
most things :)
Edith
"Bob Carlson" <con...@MadisonsScrapbook.com> wrote in message
news:ca0a3bf3.02122...@posting.google.com...
Mary Gordon
little. Sometimes I'm sitting on Santa's knee and kiddo is sitting on
me (poor Santa will need to see a chiropractor from the combined
weight). Sometimes I'm holding kiddo and sitting beside Santa, or sort
of crouching down. Sometimes I'm standing behind kiddo and Santa.
Sometimes I'm 10 inches away, but far away enough to not have made the
picture - phew. It isn't until they hit 6 or 7 or so that my kids were
willing to go up alone.
We like the pictures, but if a child is scared, either a parent should
bite the bullet and go with the kid, or skip the whole thing. We
actually find the pictures quite funny with various combinations of
kids and parents.
Mary G.
Kids 11, 9 and 5
Jenrose
of that.
But are you hearing that your actions to her WERE wrong?
That you violated her trust?
That if someone treated you that way, particularly someone close to you,
that it would HURT you?
I am not an advocate of never insisting children do something they don't
want to do.
But if you're going to insist, PLEASE have a good and valid reason for doing
so, and not just "We want a picture with Santa...."
And don't lie to her about it. Don't think that if you just "do it quickly"
she won't notice.
Listen to your little girl. Let her set boundaries and let her learn to
expect that her boundaries be respected. Let her decide who she gets close
to, who she trusts. Don't teach her that a friendly costume means trust--let
her go with her instincts.
If you really want the Santa picture, dress yourself up as Santa, and let
her watch while you put the beard and hat on, and then have your wife take
the picture.
Don't make her trust some mall Santa just for the sake of a picture.
Jenrose
"Bob Carlson" <con...@MadisonsScrapbook.com> wrote in message
news:ca0a3bf3.02122...@posting.google.com...
> Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. Last night I had a headache (since
> Christmas day for adults with children and other family living close
> by DOES involve a lot of pressure) so I went to bed early. Madison
> followed me upstairs to my bed. Since I had a headache I didn't have
> the desire to tussle with her to go to sleep in her own bed, so I
> figured I'd just carry her to her room after she went to sleep.
>
> Anyway, she clambered up into bed and laid her head on my pillow with
> her face about two inches from mine. You see, although I wanted to
> sleep she wanted to talk - I think she was still wound up pretty well
> from the day. She asked me softly if we could go watch a video, I told
> her we could tomorrow but that now it was time to go to bed. She then
> started going through most of the things we had done yesterday (going
> to relatives etc.) and asking if we could do them again, all of which
> I said yes too - tomorrow, after she went to sleep. She even asked if
Jenrose
"Edith (41)" <ehollis...@suffolk.lib.ny.us> wrote in message
news:HFIO9.131004$4W1....@nwrddc02.gnilink.net...
> OK, I must be a "nasty" person also - I found it somewhat humorous. What
> about all the parents who keep up with the Easter Bunny and the Tooth
Fairy
> and all those other old myths? I kept it up with my kids. I don't think
> they are "too" scarred from the whole thing. They do still trust me for
> most things :)
> Edith
It's one thing to tell your child a story about the Easter Bunny and another
thing entirely to expect that child to react pleasantly to a 7 foot tall
rabbit suit. Hell, even I find those a little alarming. And kids *should*
have some natural wariness toward real-life strangers, even if the idea of
Santa is magical.
I never lied to my kid about Santa or whatnot. I told her the stories, and
when she asked for more, I told the truth. We treat Santa as an idea, a
spirit of generousity and giving. And when my daughter asked if she could
grow up to be a tooth fairy, I said, very honestly, yep! The easter bunny
was never big with us--she knew that Grandpa was the Easter Bunny's helper
when she was tiny, and figured that it was like that Tooth Fairy thing (Yes,
Virginia, you, too, can grow up to be THE Easter Bunny!) as she grew older.
I went to no enormous lengths to "preserve" some image of "The Real Tooth
Fairy"... but also didn't go out of my way to spoil the magic of it, either.
Jenrose